| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 11:09:50 AM | Laws are placed on the books to protect us from force and fraud, or to at least punish those who use force or fraud to get money from people. In the area of sex, laws against rape serve to punish those who have used force--but not fraud--to get sex from someone.
I see a lot of scumbags pulling a lot of tricks to get into women's pants, and it makes me sick that women let them get away with this. It sounds old fashioned, but I don't think women should give it up until they've got an engagement ring--or at some momento of monogamy and commitment.
In the same way that women feel used for sex, men often feel used for money/spending if the girl leaves him once she's got what she wants. It's just become too common for people to use eachother, and this is creating a very bitter society. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 11:19:30 AM |
Laws are placed on the books to protect us from force and fraud, or to at least punish those who use force or fraud to get money from people.
OK, thats something men complain about...This one is claiming Sex was gotten "fraudently" Men scream that about money....Heres the deal, the ONLY time the law will "help" you is if you can _prove_ it was a _loan_....
Lets say I date a guy, i'm in love and/or have strong feelings....He tells me he needs money...He may even say "Hey I'll pay you back"....a few months later we break up. I cant do _anything_ unless I can PROVE it was a loan. Also a court will look at how long ago and what the money was for.
People most of the time dont press for repayment, until the relationship ends...
Another area to use common sense. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 11:31:06 AM | I agree, most people are afraid to get to close. Most are bitter and have been conditioned to be that way.
but the only way to prevent bitterness is to not put yourself in positions of being used/abused.
To obtain sex under false pretense is perhaps morally wrong....but so is adultery and fornication for that matter.
If you are going to fish in the pond you have to have the right tools. Most women have not been given the right tools. They could have been protected by being taught by mothers, or grandmothers or fathers.... but no one teaches their girls the ugly side of dating. Men want sex....they prefer it from women (gay men prefer it from men). If he has shady aggressive heartless morals he is gonna do what he has to do to get it.
Do you really think women are the only victims. I know at least a dozen gay and bi-sexual men who have the same gripe.
But still the bottom line is moms/ dads be frank. Be real with your daughters that way they don't end up scarred, bitter and crying on your door step at 3 am cause some guy dumped them.
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777shy
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Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 107 | |
| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 11:45:57 AM | Legislation would indeed be difficult concerning this matter; however, not impossible. It would begin with dating sites setting forth a thorough and exact statement of what the site is for, then users electronically signing, if not formally signing, an agreement expressing understanding of the stipulations, therein. Perhaps, if this were the case already in effect, those who utilize sites for free sex and financial confidence games would not be as interested in those sites who advertise as potential meeting places for long term and meaningful relationships. They would be bound to a realization of what the other party was expecting. If they took advantage of that expectation for fraudulent gain, then he/she could be liable for damages.
On a personal note of opinion...I believe women are not the only individuals at risk on these sites...and, I have some serious concerns about anyone, he or she, who seemingly sides with those who take advantage of another's goodwill. It is disturbing if someone believes, "I got hurt, so someone else should, also." As for a woman, or a man, who may be looking for a potential loving mate and a caring, responsible step parent for their child/children. As long as this is stipulated up front, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. These are real life issues, and they should and need to be addressed. There is no shame in having wants/needs/desires, as long as they are broached/discussed in a timely, upfront manner and in a suitable environment, meaning a site that advertises accordingly with members who are in agreement to their purposes of membership. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 11:48:45 AM | | Welcome to the world of internet dating....matter of fact, of the whole internet thing...I'd imagine the whole idea of the internet was to connect the world globally for business and this is just another of those businesses,only there is no protection....i suppose that maybe there could be a venue to sue the internet dating sites for?????......allowing perverts to use it?....well yes, all types of sleaze can use this and probably all type of sleaze does,which my dear fuschia(what a beautiful flower,tells me a lot about you),you believe in justice,honesty,blah,blah,...haven't you noticed that the whole world is going to ???? in a handbasket...haven't we all and aren't we all just going along with it?....and some are turning into just those types that they abhored....this is a totally new world so tread carefully.....which really is too bad,cos it gives a very good idea,this internet communication,but some people just ruin it for everybody,same old,same old, and it's not like we all haven't been warned....of what?....ourselves? | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 11:58:51 AM | I think some of you missed "reading and comprehension" day in elementary school.
Her point is simple, and valid. It's shitty for somebody to say "yea baby I'll love you forever you're the only one etc." and then just use you for sex. I disagree with making it ILLEGAL because that's just foolish. It stands to reason that there would be NO way to prove that happened in a court of law. Besides, I don't know about you, but I don't want the court system clogged up with such trivial bs.
Meanwhile, whoever implied the term sexual predator applies to child molesters and rapists only: KNOCK KNOCK!! IS ANYBODY HOME?? Here's a heads up. You're wrong. The term sexual predator is used pejoratively to describe a person seen as obtaining or trying to obtain sexual contact with another person in a metaphorically predatory manner. It doesn't have to be PHYSICALLY predatory. | |
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777shy
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Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 110 | |
| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 11:59:30 AM | It is also extremely sad to see the way people are turning against one another via this forum topic...perhaps, this says something clearly about the problem we have. Are we really so desperate that we'll turn against those we don't even know...with total lack of compassion and disregard for the decent meaning of relationships.
If a man wants sex without love and responsibility, he should travel to Nevada, provided he isn't already a resident there and hire a prostitute, legally. If a woman wants sex without love and responsibility, she should be the prostitute he hires. If either wants money for sex, or sex for money...then both should become prostitutes for hire. And that, my dears, is essentially the authentic cold, hard fact of the matter, and nothing else.
Now, how about being nicer to one another? Hmmm? As for me, I'm signing off on this topic, and wishing each of you a safe and pleasant weekend. Take care. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 12:02:52 PM |
Perhaps, if this were the case already in effect, those who utilize sites for free sex
so what your saying is men should have to pay for sex? like bring women out buy them gifts... etc.
Question about this: Lets say that a man and a woman are on a dating site, they start talking and over the course of a few months they get to know each other pretty well but don't meet. They're adults so they flirt it up and get a little dirty on the internet. Now you know damn well and good that the guy is going to expect sex when they meet up for the first time and maybe he lives far away too so they don't get to see each other all the time.
The guy is a gentleman and pays for a very nice dinner above what he pays to actually get to the girls town maybe they go to a show what have you. The guy was completely honest in his profile and with everything he said and so was the girl but after seeing how slovenly he eats she just can't bring herself to even kiss him. So now after months of chatting, months of his time and his money to get to her and to have a nice night. (we are talking hundreds here!) she is not going to have sex with him. Should she be forced to have sex with him or be forced to pay him damages because she can't come up with a good enough excuse as to why she can't go through with what she promised but has come out of all this with a free dinner and night out?
just to make sure you are aware this is what you are talking about doing. | |
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go97
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Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 112 | |
| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 12:04:47 PM |  Thankyou op I will now sue an old date for giving me a huge love bite which I did not want and then she left boo hoooo.....in other words shite does and will happen....there is no force field around the heart..........and this thread gets my vote for the No. 1 silly, bitter and immature idea of the week and plenty of thread posters have already said why. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 12:06:53 PM |
I disagree with making it ILLEGAL because that's just foolish.
Personally i find it so foolish that it's insulting to me as a woman.
I'm with you on the sexual predator part though. I'm a sexual predator but I'm an upfront honest girl however the way that i go about getting laid when I'm single and that's all i want my nature defaults to predatory. you do have to realize though that with shows like "to catch a predator" there is a stigma as to what a "sexual predator" is. The culture that we are in is forcing us to be more careful with our language at times. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 12:13:27 PM |
Personally i find it so foolish that it's insulting to me as a woman.
I would find it offensive as a lawyer or a judge if I happened to be one! What a waste of time and legal proceedings. I can understand PART of what she's saying. Being emotionally mislead into sex is morally not right. However, e-dating for 4 months and meeting in person and discovering that the persons Myspace picture was actually ten years old and "average" body type meant "bbw" and "full set of teeth" means "three". Well. I can understand wanting to try to care for the person you grew to know over the span of several months but if the sexual experience is so unenjoyable or even borderline grotesque, what else can you do?
I'm with you on the sexual predator part though. I'm a sexual predator but I'm an upfront honest girl however the way that i go about getting laid when I'm single and that's all i want my nature defaults to predatory. you do have to realize though that with shows like "to catch a predator" there is a stigma as to what a "sexual predator" is. The culture that we are in is forcing us to be more careful with our language at times..
I find it amusing that people don't understand the distinction between sexual predator and sexual offender. I think at some point in our lives we're all predators. Hell, if you go to the bar looking for a piece of a**...that can be considered predatory. Not necessarily BAD or WRONG. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 12:17:09 PM |
You can not be tricked into doing something like that. You were there also and you could have said no.
I hate to say it (actually I don't) but you're wrong. If you go to buy a car and the dealer tells you it's in great condition and has everything it needs, you'll be happy with your purchase. If you go to buy a car and the dealer tells you it's in great condition but it actually has a blown head gasket..would you say you cannot be tricked into buying a lemon? You were there, you could have said "no". You didn't have to sign the contract. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 12:20:59 PM |
I find it amusing that people don't understand the distinction between sexual predator and sexual offender
So do i but knowing what people don't know is the first step in communication. I know that sounds ass backwards but it's true. Any time that you want something and you go for it you are being a predator.
My issue with this becoming a law is the idea that people of dating age are so stupid that if they get their feelings hurt they should take it to a lawyer. The OP pretty much said her friend was stupid. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 12:22:44 PM |
If you go to buy a car and the dealer tells you it's in great condition but it actually has a blown head gasket..would you say you cannot be tricked into buying a lemon?
use another example... there is a lemon law. Also i get a cars checked by an independent mechanic before i purchase them and have their findings put into writing to protect both parties. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 12:23:50 PM | I think that lost in this discussion is what your friend may have said during or after sex. Did she assume that because they had performed the deed, that he now was obligated to spend the rest of his life with her, perhaps even expect him to marry her? He may have had the best of intentions, but when faced with ridiculous expectations that suddenly are injected into the relationship that had never been discussed prior, he ran, thinking that she had nod been honest with him!
The major problem we are faced with here is we have one person's perspective of the events, and no way of discerning the veracity of the allegations. Remember there are always two sides to a story. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 12:35:33 PM | A player isn't going to hang around for months without sex.
The lady in question is probably too willing to pass out her 'favors' without making certain of the man in question.
As has been pointed out here... was she thinking that having sex with a man would commit him to her?
Want to avoid that situation? DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM UNTIL YOU ARE SURE.
Stop having sex with men early in your relationship!!!
Finally... If she didn't say NO.. then it isn't rape. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 12:52:33 PM | I have for many years tried to teach people to go with their guts, instinct or in this case womens intuition.If for some reason you lack in this ability and I do not mean this remark as an insult then consult people that you trust and in addition observe this individual for a long period of time.I am not a lawyer but how do you prosecute someone in this kind of situation.This is more She said He said.I do have over thirteen years of training in the martial arts and I am a Second Degree BlackBelt.With enough patience people always reveal themselves sooner or later.
Good Luck and Be Safe | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 12:58:48 PM |
fortunately for me it hasnt happened to me! iam emotionally mature enough to know a faker when i see one! but i do know many women that have been victims of being tricked with sweet talk!
So what you are saying with this comment is that these other people you know are not "emotionally mature" and that is why they have this problem.
Great, sounds like we agree up till that point! The rest is just nonsense!
Make a law so that stupid people can continue to blame others for their own bad choices. I'm sure that would be a whole lot easier then getting people to grow the feck up and learn how to take responsibility for their decisions in life.
~Belly~ | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:03:33 PM | Welshfushsia... I would LOVE to take on the title when a man SEEMS to get what he wants, and call it "sexual preditor", however that is NOT the correct term.
What you are discussing is a moral issue, and legislation here in the US, are hard pressed to pass MORAL laws...
Laws are passed to protect individuals that cannot protect themself, and or would not have the ability to make a choice on there own to mentally know what to do. IE Children under a certain age, and the mental challenged.
Your friend had a choice to keep her virtue until she was married to the man. Anything short of that, means the choice was your friends to make, and she became a willing partner whether the guy advertised his intent or not...
We may not like what happens to us when we make choices the end up getting us hurt, but we DO have to make choices that are best for who we are as a person.. If this gal is going to feel so emotionally used, and that men such as the guy she was with, are preditors, then perhaps she is better off waiting until she is married. That way she is gaurented that he is NOT legally off the hook in the morning... | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:09:31 PM | Color?
This has to be the dumbest conversation.Fortunately stupidity isnt a felony. Everybody plays games.
I served with u.S. Special forces, then head bouncer for 17yrs. I have been a competitive power lifter for almost 30yrs. I wrestled semi pro with memphis wrestling.
I had more than my share of bar fights. And yes i was a bad ass.
My point is that i learned most of the men wanted to beat me and the women wanted to bed me. They would get drunk and lie to me.
I had a reputation for womanizing. Even though i honestly told them that i would lie to them. Sleep with there best freind,sister and mom if i got the chance there was never a shortage of hot eager young tail.
Sometimes 2 or 3 @ a time.
So i know some people want to be lied to.
If u dont want your hair color brought into it keep dumb comments to your self. | |
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