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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:20:19 PM |
what if a guy strings a woman along for months on the belief he loves her and she falls in love with him also and feels ok and ready to have a sexual encounter with him.
You really think a guy who's just after sex stays with a woman for months and months, taking her out, spending money on her? I would think that he's the one that feels tricked as she tries to get him to believe that being with her is something special, and after then after many months together, when she finally beds him and then thinks she's got him and lowers her guard and her true colors come out, he realizes she isn't.
This is just more of blaming the man for what the woman does and for when it doesn' t turn out the way the woman would like. You really believe that your sister women are merely irresponsible dupes? | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:27:06 PM | Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters?~ welshfuchsia
> I knew before I opened this thread fully that it would be a woman referring to a man - something that some man has done or not done or might do.
> I am becoming tired of the male-bashing and the multifarious and imaginative forms it takes.
> Why are men so mean? Why are mean such pigs? Are there no decent men left? And so it goes on - to infinity.
> If we are so bad, if the male of society is portrayed as an object of terror, why are there far more women on this site than men?
> I quote a few words from this current posting by welshfuchsia. "Game players," "Unsavoury behaviour," "Practice of deceiving," "Distortion of truth," "Duplicity," "Second-class rape," etc.
> Sounds like some insane fiend has broken loose from an institution with the chains still clanking around his ankles.
> Give us a break, lady. In 1986, back in Scotland, I found my wife in bed with one of my colleagues one sunny afternoon. She left a few weeks later with our children. I haven't seen my children in 22 years, but I don't label people as criminals or make a song and dance about my personal experiences.
> Move on, and be glad you had the hard experiences for the sake of your soul's growth. Do you really want an 'easy' life? Do you want cushions and quilts, comfort and joy 24/7? That will not instigate or enable growth of any kind. Only failure, only the hard lessons, provide the kind of growth we require as souls as we advance through this earthly realm.
> "No one learns through Success: Failure is our only teacher." [ Soren Kierkegaard, 19th-century Danish philosopher ]
> Best wishes - Peter. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:28:53 PM | | There are NO garantees in any relationship,when one breaks it off and the other wasnt ready or willing there will always be the feeling of being misled,One has to maintain personal integrity whether or not the other party does ,I think its natural to feel hurt and mislead when there is a break up but lets face it ,,,it happens and if there was and intimate relationship? It makes it that much more difficult if you feel the need to punish then the one your punishing is most likely yourself and no one wins there to want to take legal action against a person that you chose to sleep with no matter if you do feel some how tricked?Is a road to bitterness that no one should travel ,best advice? If you get involved dont sleep with someone till you are ready?and if you do decide to take that step?take responsibility for your OWN actions.that would be a NO to legal proceedings. happy new year everyone | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:32:50 PM | No means no, male or female.....We have the right not to have sex with somebody....Played into it or not...As long as you are not drugged or drunk and you get into bed with somebody without saying no, they can't charge for it....Cause it can't be construed as rape....2 consenting adults .....It would never hold up...
Yeah it sucks when you get played but that is when you try to be more careful and don't give it up so quick..... | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:40:09 PM |
If we are so bad, if the male of society is portrayed as an object of terror, why are there more women on this site than men?
That's simply a statistical matter. There are more women than men IN EXISTENCE. If you're chalking it up to men being the "less bad" gender, you're just delusional. Contrary to popular belief, one isn't better than the other.
Game players being dishonest
Unsavoury Behaviour being dishonest
Practice of deceiving being dishonest
Distortion of truth being dishonest
Duplicity being dishonest.
Neither of those things imply that
some insane criminal is on the loose with chains around his ankles . Am I to believe that you thing dishonesty is ok as long as the person isn't commiting a REAL crime?
Give us a break, lady. In 1986, back in Scotland, I found my wife in bed with one of my colleagues one sunny afternoon. She left with our children. I haven't seen my children in 22 years, but I don't label people like criminals or make a song and dance about my experiences.
Good for you. I'm sure somebody around here is proud of you for that. But let me let you in on a little secret. You know you're an individual person with individual experiences right? Well you also have individual emotions, and individual coping skills. You got over it. Yay. Some people cope differently. Deal with it, or lock yourself up in a bunker if you can't handle the fact that not everybody is going to be the exact way think they should be. In point of fact, her coping skill is doing you no harm at all. You came in here anti-male bashing, but you're dishing out what you can't take. Maybe you're still mad because your wife cheated on you 2 decades ago and you don't think anybody else had it as bad as you. Well here's another secret: your situation is as bad as you take it. What might not be so bad to you, can be devastating to someone else. It's part of that whole "individuality" thing. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:46:01 PM | Has anyone in this forum EVER been the object of revenge? Yah, a few? Many? How many times has the "revenge" really been justified? To wit--how many times has the "punishment" been worse than the "crime"?
To even suggest that people should be prosecuted for lying in a relationship is ludicrous for many reasons, but one of the main reasons is who is telling the "truth"? As many people have pointed out in many of these forums, there are three sides to a story: his, hers, and what really happened. She said, he said . . . it goes on ad infinitum.
Welsh, perhaps your friend is a fine upstanding woman who allowed her tender sensibilities to be trampled, but what about those whose sensibilities are not so tender? What about the neurotic and even the psychotic? What about those who hear what they want to hear and take revenge when they finally understand that the other person was never committing?
Pffft.
I once was called to jury duty for a rape trial. I was the second person dismissed because I said something along the lines that the man should be castrated if he raped her (ok, I was not that vitriolic or honest). An acquaintance of mine was called in, as well, and went back the next day. Guess what? The woman who was "raped" came into the court and said she made it all up!
ARGH! Incidents like this set the women's movement back 50 years or more.
Now, imagine a score of women and men who had been dumped by their lovers and want revenge in a court of law.
Messy. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:48:48 PM | Okay I did not feel like reading all the posts, so this may have been said already.
I really wish people would stop trying to blame others when things go wrong. We are responsible for ourselves - for our actions, for our decisions, etc.
If I am deceived, it is because I allowed myself to be.
If I am manipulated, it is because I allowed it to happen.
And since this seems to be about those "poor" women out there, who don't want to accept responsibility for their actions - I will point out that there are a lot of women who trick and deceive men into supporting them, and the majority of the time the courts still side with the women. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:50:03 PM |
To even suggest that people should be prosecuted for lying in a relationship is ludicrous for many reasons, but one of the main reasons is who is telling the "truth"?
I think the problem is the grey area. There is so much grey area in relationships, a right or wrong party can't often be determined. While somebody thought it was ok to do something, the person it happened to might have perceived it wrongly.
You can't properly fight grey area in a court of law because you will try to use facts to determine something that's built on interpretation and sometimes fallacies. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 1:53:35 PM |
And since this seems to be about those "poor" women out there, who don't want to accept responsibility for their actions - I will point out that there are a lot of women who trick and deceive men into supporting them, and the majority of the time the courts still side with the women.
 for you. I wholeheartedly agree. More men I know have been deceived by women. I'm not going to say that this is because women are manipulative youknowwhats. I'm sure it stands to reason that this is so because I have more male friends than female friends. But the fact is still that women are not innocent creatures to be consoled and conceded to on every occasion. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 2:31:35 PM | | I totally agree it seems to be happening more and more nowadays,but unfortunatley nothing will get done about it until something serious happens, there has to be substanial evidence,plenty of cases over numerous years.With todays life and the way people are thinking its becoming increasingly hard to trust anyone nowadays,think maybe going back to the older days method of courting someone over a long period of time before you sleep with them and see how much they do really care about you,want to be with you and are willing to prove who they are,before you go the next step! | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 2:32:37 PM | I wholeheartedly agree. More men I know have been deceived by women . . . But the fact is still that women are not innocent creatures to be consoled and conceded to on every occasion.~ sleepytime girl
> Is that right? Wow. Is that a universal statement of fact, a philosophy by which we should all live, or is it . . . just your opinion?
> I think your profile says it all. "I'm just a scared little girl." "I'd rather rule a bunch of stupid, happy people."
> Well, you don't rule me. But keep up with the postings, for it seems you want to rule this particular thread.
> Best wishes - Peter. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 2:34:52 PM | huh....hmmm...so let me understand this. To get into a womans pants...which, of course, is well understood here on these forums, is ALL a man wants, anyway....all I have to do is promise to love you forever?
hey, neat, thanks...I think I'll try that.
I think I've been wasting a lot of time jumping through the wrong hoops.
This is a godsend, thank you Ms. Opie....I just never really knew that all women are so shallow, gullable and easily persuaded.
I've got to run to the grocery. I think I'll try this tactic out on the girl in the cheese aisle.
Let y'all know how it turns out
Gee, thanks
````````````Akimmbo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 2:44:26 PM | > Is that right? Wow. Is that a universal statement of fact, a philosophy by which we should all live, or is it . . . just your opinion?
> I think your profile says it all. "I'm just a scared little girl." "I'd rather rule a bunch of stupid, happy people."
> Well, you don't rule me. But keep up with the postings, for it seems you want to rule this particular thread.
> Best wishes - Peter.
I think you didn't get the memo on reading comprehension. I was kinda agreeing with you here. Prove to me that no woman has ever committed a heinous crime and I will gladly concede that all of them are innocent and lovely. I think it is made factual just by the amount of women who murdered their own children in 2007 alone. Innocent fragile creatures don't do that.
Or wait. Are your feathers all ruffled now because I dissected one of your posts? I saw you agree with me only moments before and now you have something to say about how I regard myself. Pity you can't take another perspective without taking it personal. I had always hoped that people older than me knew better than to behave like pre-teens. If I don't "rule" you as you put it, if nothing I said is of any merit to you, why did you bother to look up my profile for ammunition? | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 2:44:27 PM | OP: Your intentions to defend your "friend" are admirable. However, to be a true friend, I hope you show her this thread. It hurts like hell when things don't turn out the way we want them too... we miss those that we bonded with.... it all takes time to regroup. Show her this thread so that she doesn't repeat what just happened to her.
... and remember. You originally answered my question that he just disappeared without giving her a reason. But, then you came back in and said that he had issues with her texting her ex. That may not seem like a reason for leaving to you or her, but it may have been a red flag to him due to a previous experience that he didn't want to repeat. So you see, he did have at least one reason. You're biased because she is your friend, understantable, but don't forget that you weren't a witness 24/7 to this "couples" interactions, so you need to step back and view things that she has told you with a grain of salt.
It hurts big~time, of that I'm sure we all can agree. And remember, the sex shouldn't be the Issue here. We're all human, even if sex hadn't happened and he left her, she would be just as hurt because she obviously liked this man lots.
Best wishes
S.T. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 2:47:27 PM | | I don't believe in guys or girls being "tricked into sex". If you don't want to take that risk then you'll have to abstain until marriage....... My beef is a guy who wants to jump into a relationship really fast when I prefer to go slow and get to know them. They call call call, lets do this, lets do that, you meet their children, meet their friends........then just when you start to get comfortable and really like them bam!! they run away crying "I'm damaged goods" "goodbye" and never talk to you again like you've acquired some sort of disease..........wierd, just wierd. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 3:16:50 PM | The most common defences, if someone sues you for defamation, are:
Truth - A statement may have hurt your reputation, but if it was true then anyone can say it and have a good defence against a lawsuit.
Jesus!!!!.... going by some of the opinions dis-agreeing...life is very cheap! but as they say friends are for life! but men come and go!...hence why im here having my opinions on this subject for a good friend of mine who fell victim of a sexual predator or should i say another man just conforming to his caveman status and getting away with using another human as just meat! without sounding sexist...because iam full aware women also do this sort of thing to men also! but in my defense as a female maybe women are becoming more and more like cavemen..just to rebel against the sexe,s....as the old saying goes if you cant beat them.... join them!
I wouldn't hold your breath waiting for the law you're requesting to get on the books or to cash in on a defamation case. [Post #29] | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 3:33:22 PM | | You have really touched a nerve with this thread and I think all the vehement opinions about it indicate that you've brought up a valid issue. Sexual predation is something that happens all the time, when people misrepresent themselves and their feelings as other than what they are for the purposes of getting sex, money or emotional gratification out of the one-sided relationship. Like rape, it's not about attraction or sex even, it's about power and control. The way other posters on this thread are reacting reminds me of the way the people reacted to the idea of domestic violence, before domestic violence was recognized as a real issue. The thought was that it was okay for men to beat their wives and women should know better and be able to protect themselves. Some still have this opinion, thinking it's fine for a gay man to beat his closeted lover, because the lover shouldn't be closeted, or that's it's okay for a lesbian to smack her partner around because she's the femme half of the pairing. In third world countries the concept of domestic violence is still viewed as a personal and not a public or social problem, but I think that as civilization advances welshfuchsia will be proven right. Sexual predation makes victims of people and in a civilized society those victims should have redress. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 3:36:35 PM | | lmao K... well... Im not condoning this behaviour but come on... really. You cant TRICK someone into bed. They make the concious decision to give it up. Im sure they're all happy until they found out he lied. So... tell me... when they find out what has changed exactly? I mean sex is a physical act (with sometimes emotional aspects) but its still physical. If it feels good when you do it, then it was good. If you are pissed cause they lied to you, fine. But dont associate that with the sex. You enjoyed. You're just upset for being gullible or feeling betrayed. Seriously, dont link the two issues. Good sex doesnt change. Its indellible in history. A physical act. It cant change later. I cant eat a realllly good dinner and then the next day decide I hated the taste of it. Sounds ridiculous huh? | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 3:41:56 PM | Unfortunately, there are only rape laws and even those can be gotten around. My daughter had to testify at a rape trial once when she saw the girl devastated and bruised and took her to the hospital. The trial lasted three months in which the girl was given the second degree for having taken a ride home with the fellow.(She knew him, but not real well) , but did trust him to get her home safely.
Having your heart broken is a hard lesson to learn and hopefully your friend will be a bit more savve' now after her experience and listen to intuition when the red flags appear, because as we know they usually do. But, in saying that it does take some time and experience to know and respond to red flags.
Your point is well taken and unfortunately there are as many women users as there are men. l have heard a few heart broken men say very similar things as you have in your post.
cheers
aprilwine | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 3:43:13 PM | How do you 'trick' someone into a sexual encounter anyway?
Guy - "Hey Miss... look over there!! Down on the ground!"
Her - *turns around and bends over* "huh? where??"
Guy - *humps her from behind when she isn't looking then runs off cackling* "Muahahaha!!"
Her -- "D'oh!!! Foiled again with the oldest trick in the book!!!" | |
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