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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 4:51:02 PM | Wow... so much can be said here, but the short answer is NO.
OP... it seems from your postings that you believe you have the ability to see the creeps from the good guys ... if this friend of yours dated this guy for several MONTHS, how come you never met him and told your girl friend how you felt about him??? Or DID you meet him? I'm not clear on this.
Personally, I am shocked that a 33 year old woman is thinking life is "fair".
It isn't. As much as I'd like everyone to be honest and considerate, they aren't.
As much as we'd like to think we ALWAYS choose wisely, we don't.
It's called being human.
In the end, we can only be accountible for ourselves and our decisions,
even if those decisions were based on bad/ incorrect information, as was the case with your friend. Many others have already pointed out that those "promises" she based her decision to have sex on should have been a HUGE red flag. (The ones who offer promises are usually the least likely to stick to them!)
I do NOT want the government micro-managing our lives because people refuse to take responsibility for their own decisions.
NO  NO NO! | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 4:57:49 PM |  Not me I have none.
I do make sure my azz looks good in my pants though before I get them. lol
We all work with what we got, makes us feel good.
Ok this was so not oT sorry mods couldn't help it.
vvvvv The women made the choice to sleep with the guy, they were not forced it is NOT rape. It is hurt, feelings, pride, whatever.
And while your guy bashing did you ever stop to think they get played too?
You don't get 'tricked' into having sex. You make the choice to have it and even 'with the ring on your finger' it doesn't mean its forever. Life is a gamble and you learn from the choices you make so you can grow as a person. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 4:59:17 PM | There should be because it is a hair short of date rape in the fact that the woman was tricked, but unfortunately it all falls under some archaic loophole known in legal circles as "the art of seduction" ... which pretty much boils down to.. Ladies "buyer beware"!!
too many cases have been thrown out of court and women need to band together and get these laws changed. We need to be protected from jerks that pull off this kind of stunt...
thus the ring on the finger first with most gals that are into serious relationships!! | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:03:27 PM | | First of all don't jump to the conclusion that I agree with players cause I don't.But you should be asking WHY some men play these games.Fact is most women create such a difficult atmosphere to start a relationship with excessive rules,unrealistic expectations,overly critical,negative,jaded,bitter,cynical etc so if those guys tried to play by the "rules" they wouldn't get anywhere and if he just wanted a bed buddy it would be even more difficult.If more women were open to sexual friendships more men would be going for that by passing what some men would feel the hassle of a relationship.Don't believe me? the next 5 men you meet say your open to a sexual friendship or a relationship and see what they choose.Don't do your usual tactic of implying what the "right answer" is verbally or with facial expressions,don't influence his decision in anyway.If you punish a man for being honest don't be surprised if he lies to you but really who is to blame? and before you start the man bashing remember that women play games as well.Some guys don't get past hello cause they aren't dressed like some GQ metrosexual,or cause he doesn't drive a Ferrari or have a billion in the bank.They may even judge a man by his job or even his age.The common denominator is sex cause without that there would be no men in the equasion.If your not sexually attracted to the man your seeing why are you dating him then? eventually you'll start to see how flawed the dating routine is and "getting to know" him etc is a waste of time giving women a false sense of security.Both sexes play games,would be great if they didn't huh? | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:03:57 PM | I would reserve judgement on the gentleman described as a "game player" until I could hear his side of things. We've heard the OP's version of what happened to her friend, which is very, very biased, and rightly so - she is defending her friend, who was hurt. She is taking up the crusade to bash any man who comes into a woman's life, loves her and then it's over. How do we know she didn't scare the bejebbers out of him in bed? Or maybe she just laid there like a corpse and he decided he couldn't take that? Maybe it reminded him of a previous relationship and he couldn't handle that? How do we know that this man only set out to get sex? If she only had sex with long term loving partners, what happened to them? Where did they go? I would like to know how a consenting adult can be "mislead" into a sexual encounter.
If the OP's friend is so messed up over this relationship, she needs psychological help.
Falling in love is easy enough; the landing part is what hurts. Every time you land, it hurts, and it may not get easier, but you know you survived the last time and went on to love again.
I am offended, and a little ticked off, that a nameless, faceless group of men are being labeled as "animals". This thread seems just ludicrous because we have absolutely not one single fact to go on, yet the OP is up in arms and ready to have men prosecuted for breaking a heart. And how does the OP know that this friend of hers would not be mortified that her personal situation was brought up as a part of a discussion on an internet thread? | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:08:30 PM | Only if they have similar laws against stupid people
and the gullible.
and bad drivers on their cell phones, or who have there turn signal on for 5 miles straight.
and people who stand in the middle of the aisle in grocery stores..yappin'
Don't you think we have enough laws?
There are laws against fraud and "confidence" schemes...maybe there is something in that you can look into. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:09:29 PM | OP: you expect too much from laws.
in theory you could regulate every area of life, but some of the immidiate concerns are:
1.understanding the fundamental nature of love: biochemistry! promising "long lasting love" can be honest in that very second, how can you promise your level of happyness-molecules (serotonin, dopamin) will be higher than a certain level if you see a person at a later time? you can promise to be faitful together in good and bad times- like in marriage - but you cannot promise everlasting love. not realistic...
2.financing. you spend tax payer's money on laws and legal processes...
3. legal. evidence is hard to present unless you don't record the words...
the solution is that you do not run into sex very quickly, but wait for long weeks, months. possibly also wait to sex after marriage.
if a man truly loves you, he will wait for you - if he doesn't, than nothing is really lost.
the case what you described is not a "second class rape" because you agreed about sex on your free will!
you were "influenced", "little bit deceived", yes!
(sidenote: on that ground you could go on legal porcess againt most of the advertisements...super washing powers and such...I have a white shirt which has red wine spots - it's funny there aren't any washing powders that can help!....only ceasar ) | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:09:35 PM | i think the point is on your head. so a woman can put a man i jail for having concensual sex. what a load of crap. it happens to guys too , you know. i think jail should be for real criminals. murderes , child molesters ect...so what would you do if you really liked a guy and then you hade sex with him and it wasn't any good . should you go to prison for breaking up with him. get real. sex is a very importiant part of a relationship. if he or she doesn't trip your trigger, should you go on the rest of your life being with him or her just for the sake that you don't want to go to jail. i don't think so.leave the law to the law makers.we are all grown ups here. if it doesn't work out move on. people do it every day. i find this post to be very disturbing.going to jail for lying. well then we would all be in jail. and don't tell me you have never lied in your life. i have been with woman that i have met that night and yes we had a one night stand. half way though she told me to stop ,that she didn't feel right about it. and i did stop.should she go to jail for leading me on. NO!!! she should count herself lucky it was me . because i know of alot of men who wouldn't have stopped. it all comes back to common sense. if you have a sneaky suspition that the guy isn't what he says he is . do a background check and save yourself the aggravation.  | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:13:26 PM | Oh lord! Are you serious????
the courts have had many cases like these appear before them where the injured party discovers after a lengthy period of time that the perp was "married". Try suing them and it's up to the wife not the "mistress" even tho she didn't know she was a mistress. this kind of crap has been going on since the dawn of time ==> Men lying to women to get them in the sack and have an extra marital relationship with them unbeknownst to them he was even married !!
Here's a lyric from the 15th century (penned down in 1909) that is still performed today, by Pentangle in the 60s, and recently made famous (again) by Loreena McKennitt:
A blacksmith courted me
Nine months and better
He fairly won my heart
Wrote me a letter
With his hammer in his hand
He looked quite clever
And if I was with my love
I'd live for ever.
But where is my love gone
With his cheeks like roses
And his good black Billycock on
Decked round with primroses
I'm afraid the scorching sun
Will shine and burn his beauty
And if I was with my love
I'd do my duty.
Strange news is come to town
Strange news is carried
Strange news flys up and down
That my love is married.
I wish them both much joy
Though they can't hear me
And may God reward him well
For the slighting of me.
"Don't you remember when
You lay beside me
And you said you'd marry me
And not deny me"
"If I said I'd marry you
It was only for to try you
So bring your witness love
And I'll not deny you."
"No witness have I none
Save God Almighty
And may he reward you well
For the slighting of me"
Her lips grew pale and wan
It made a poor heart tremble
To think she loved a one
And he proved deceitful.
<div class="quote"> s&s wrote: How can someone truly trick you into a sexual encounter? | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:17:38 PM |
There should be because it is a hair short of date rape in the fact that the woman was tricked, but unfortunately it all falls under some archaic loophole known in legal circles as "the art of seduction" ... which pretty much boils down to.. Ladies "buyer beware"!!
too many cases have been thrown out of court and women need to band together and get these laws changed. We need to be protected from jerks that pull off this kind of stunt...
Oh, come ON. Do we even know for sure that she was "tricked," let alone how that's possible? It's a hair short of date rape AFTER FOUR MONTHS? You say this with only the sketchy, emotion-riddled details provided by the crusading OP?
I think she feels tricked because things didn't go the way she wanted them to after they had sex. She feels tricked because her guy didn't live up to her expectations and stay with her. She feels tricked because she thinks she made a mistake, and it's easier to point the finger at the guy than at anything she might have done.
Mind you, I think it's a little rotten of him or any guy to abruptly end things after their first night together. I understand why she feels bad about the timing of the way it was ended. But I don't see any evidence whatsoever that she was tricked into anything, let alone something close to rape. And the lie-to-yourself-till-you-believe-it attitude that goes with "My feelings were hurt, so I'm deciding after the fact that it couldn't have been consensual" does a terrible disservice to those trying to prosecute legitimate rape cases.
--Ms. Flis | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:22:20 PM | With how much info is floating around on the net now there is no excuse (as far as the guy being married) if your that paranoid or you have children or red flags have started popping up, then you can damn well check the person out and see what's what.
People need to grow up and take responsibility for thier actions and choices. No one made these women or men say yes I will have sex with you.
Where did the Op go anyway? | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:27:17 PM | Call it what you may, tricked, played...........but no one forced or raped you. We certainly don't anymore laws governing our personal lifes......, there are too many now! Just chalk it up to experience and deal with it.
I'm sorry you had a bad experience but,
There's an old saying, you can't live and mature as an adult, without having at least one bad woman or man in your life!!!  | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:27:23 PM | You're essentially saying that it's okay to lie, and it's not. Btw people DO go jail for lying- it's called perjury. Lying is wrong no matter how you dress it up that is whether or not the lie is big or little.
All that is not to say that I agree with the OP, because the fact of the matter is that 1) Proving a person's intent would be hard 2) People wouldn't let a law like that pass, because no one wants the law involved in their personal affairs and 3) Sometimes people need to just take things as a learning experience. By that I mean, if you are beginning to find that the men or women you come into contact with are using you for sex (and it bothers you), then you could stop having sex, or do some self-reflecting and figure out what it is about YOU that makes people want to use you. Once you've figured out the problem, fix it- simple. | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:27:39 PM |
what if a guy strings a woman along for months on the belief he loves her and she falls in love with him also and feels ok and ready to have a sexual encounter with him...
So he dated her for months, really liked her, and then when they finally hit the sack he discovered she's about as exciting in the bedroom as a sack of rocks, he decided he wasn't willing to deal with that, "dumps her".... yes, obviously after keeping him waiting for months she was just 'tricked' into it!
I'm not sure I agree with the whole premise here. I mean, you voluntarily remove your clothes and have sex with someone, after "months"... who exactly was stringing *who* along? | |
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| Do you think there should be laws against people who trick you into sexual encounters!
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:27:39 PM |
Why is you think that just because people don't want to hear your whining or your logical fallacies that you're being oppressed?
It wasn't written in the context as conveying any personal experience. I already made that point clear in response to you, but since you insist on harping that it is, forgive me if I don't care to waste any more time on your exaggerations.
Moving on, this is the best point I've seen so far on this thread:
Why is you think that just because people don't want to hear your whining or your logical fallacies that you're being oppressed?
You're right! Women use hair color to artificially color their hair, heels to artificially increase their height, wonderbras to artificially create a larger bosom, and make up to artificially enhance their looks. Imagine if the OP was a guy and posted how women thus "trick" men. | |
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