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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/25/2008 1:24:51 PM | Well the comment you referenced here came after your comment....but, whatev.
When I said your side of the fence, I meant you and johne and anyone else who keeps telling us to run along now and find someone who does like you. My point...and I did have one...is that most people do not feel slighted if someone does not want to date them because they have children. Someone has a poor me moment and starts a thread....and it goes on for 100 pages for what reason? Is the OP still here wondering? Nope. And most of us do get it...and those of us who are good parents act just like you said above...they don't date at certain times in their lives, because sometimes the children need 100%+ focus.
It just seems like people want to take the few bad apples and make some kind of monument to them to throw dirt and rotten apples at. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/25/2008 1:47:54 PM |
Great, Smuggler. We all GET it that you got taken for a financial ride by someone who didn't have you anywhere on their "short list" of priorities, except to collect your paycheck. It's sad that you were used by that kind of person, but you have to understand that it was THAT PERSON (and her uncontrolled offspring) who did that to you, not every single mother on the planet. Plus, you have to understand that kids are pretty much programmed to occasionally be manipulative to see what they can get. If you'd been dating a quality parent, she'd have kept them in check, like my ex-wife and I keep ours in check. (Whatever our other failings may be, we do at least communicate enough to keep the kids from using either of us.)
Yes, even good, well-adjusted kids will try to play one parent off against the other every now and again. I imagine if I get into another live-in relationship, they'll get squirrelly once in a while... and I WON'T LET THEM GET AWAY WITH IT. I dare say that most single parents are right there with me on that one.
If you'd exercised a little better judgement with your ex-wife, perhaps you'd have seen HER lack of respect for you from the beginning ('cause that's where the problem lies, not with the kids... rot usually starts at the top of any organization) and you wouldn't be stalking the single parents forum, grinding your little axe. And the problem was YOUR ex-wife, not all the other single moms out there. It's sad you've generalized your angst like that, but *shrug*.
Yeah, I get that you feel the need to be the champion... Wasnt even "grinding an axe" at a single mother... Just dont feel the justification for.... oh, do I dare point it out.... the "grouping" of some of us single guys as... "tossers"... You're one of the first ones to jump in and start bytching about guys "grouping" all single mothers together. One defense against the grouping of men, and you get your panties in a wad.... Kind of one sided dont you think?
Ive said my piece, both for, and against, the issues that single mothers seem to be faced with.... But dude... to have you constantly berate me for posting ... what are you doing? Are you the flippin forum police?? Defending the harem???
Ive been watching this thread long before you started.... so just back off. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/25/2008 1:54:51 PM | Just to play the devil's advocate.
Its hard to find women who are single around my age with no children. I can't be picky, I just hope that something wonderful comes my way.
And if you felt you could be picky? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/25/2008 2:04:09 PM | | This sorta thing only confirms my thoughts that I'm be destined to be single forever once my son is born, but at the same time, I don't want any man coming into my life who doesn't accept my son when he's born so I guess its a good thing if he runs away from me. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/25/2008 2:08:03 PM |
Yeah, I get that you feel the need to be the champion... Wasnt even "grinding an axe" at a single mother... Just dont feel the justification for.... oh, do I dare point it out.... the "grouping" of some of us single guys as... "tossers"... You're one of the first ones to jump in and start bytching about guys "grouping" all single mothers together. One defense against the grouping of men, and you get your panties in a wad.... Kind of one sided dont you think?
Ive said my piece, both for, and against, the issues that single mothers seem to be faced with.... But dude... to have you constantly berate me for posting ... what are you doing? Are you the flippin forum police?? Defending the harem???
Ive been watching this thread long before you started.... so just back off.
*laughter*
I don't feel the need to champion, per se... I just *live* on the other side of the fence. I find nearly infinite parallels between my situation and the typical single mom's situation. Would you have been so twitchy about my post if it had come from one of the single moms on the forum?
As for "constantly berate," I happened across that other post, and the irony of your POV there was just too delicious to pass by. And you know, if you look back, there have been times I've supported your position. This one's just untenable. You willingly group yourself with the single guys who are completely focused on their fun and amusement and have loudly sworn off dating single mothers. You have to expect some collateral damage when guys like that get a little mostly-deserved bashing. If you don't identify with them, then perhaps you should make more of an effort to distance yourself from the group. *shrug*
*I* wouldn't have called you a tosser (wanker, jerk-off, what-have-you), but you do make such a point of your anti-single-mom stance, yet you spend all your time here. How messed-up is that? And then to blame the kids for being kids... that was kind of lame. Here's a thought: why don't YOU consider backing down? Just wondering. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/26/2008 9:02:25 AM | i equate this to being back in the wild, take the hippo for instance, if the alpha hippo male is overthrown, the new alpha male will kill all of the old males little ones still living with the moms, as not to have his old rivals genes survive..true..
but honestly, probably because he cannot just pop on over at 3 am for a quicky or ask you out on the spur of the moment knowing you have a true responsibility | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/26/2008 12:11:58 PM |
*I* wouldn't have called you a tosser (wanker, jerk-off, what-have-you), but you do make such a point of your anti-single-mom stance, yet you spend all your time here. How messed-up is that? And then to blame the kids for being kids... that was kind of lame. Here's a thought: why don't YOU consider backing down? Just wondering.
I dont make points out of much coming from this thread anymore, especially when it comes from such as yourself... I do make an exception for the posts made by guys pretending to be 'the man'... especially one who has lost his ballsack, or spine.... Donned that shiney bright armor, and bashes his own gender to endear himself to women, in hopes of gaining approval...... (kind of sounds like you.. doesnt it?)
But I Ive said my piece both for and against... maybe you should try reading them. And I dont spend all my time here... Unlike apparently you do, policing the area... Making sure that you circle your wagons...
I would refer you to the title of the thread, and has been pointed out to you several times before.... Unless that was a rhetorical question.. it would suggest at face value, that the question was posed to everyone... maybe it was posted in the wrong area..
And why dont I back down from what? You?
LOL..... I believe the word mangina, once again comes to mind... | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/26/2008 12:13:59 PM |
especially one who has lost his ballsack, or spine
I'm here to testify that any single parent has a bigger set of grapes and a stronger spine since becoming a single parent than they ever had before. We don't have to be mean, do we? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/26/2008 12:51:37 PM | Oooh, Smuggler... you're scaring me.
Once again, your best insult is to call a man a woman. Misogyny is so sexy. Freak.
Maybe you should stop taking your bitterness over getting used and discarded by a Bad Person out on everyone else. We all feel sorry for you, but isn't enough enough? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/26/2008 4:40:55 PM | I'm here to testify that any single parent has a bigger set of grapes and a stronger spine since becoming a single parent than they ever had before.
That's for darn sure regardless of what gender they happen to be... | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/26/2008 5:35:19 PM |
Oooh, Smuggler... you're scaring me.
Once again, your best insult is to call a man a woman. Misogyny is so sexy. Freak.
Maybe you should stop taking your bitterness over getting used and discarded by a Bad Person out on everyone else. We all feel sorry for you, but isn't enough enough?
LOL..... No worries.....
Apparently I cannot compare to a real man like you... Keep Polishing that Armor there buddy... Maybe one of these women you are trying so hard to endear yourself to by shooing away the bad single guys, that apparently the question was asked of.... maybe if you work hard enough they will give you a mercy fuq....
And as far as I can see, you have one advantage over me.... I cant kiss my ass... | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/26/2008 5:58:01 PM | Smuggler, I'm amused that you can only see personal gain as a motivation. Or sex. It must be sad to live in a world that small.
Grow up. Maybe grow a pair. Might keep the NEXT woman from taking advantage of you so badly. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/26/2008 6:32:36 PM |
Sorry can't resist:
Why am I not suprised...
spoils it for the next single mom the guy meets because he will not give her the chance and it is not fair...well life is not fair!!!
It's not? Well, Someone here seems to think that they ahve the right to complain about all their bad experiences over and over again.
I wish that when someone starts a thread they would stick around though.
This thread was started over THREE years ago..
Sorry..I just couldn't resist either...
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/26/2008 8:35:24 PM | My daughter is my number one priority too. My co-workers always give me that "sorry" look when they find out that I'm a single mom -- hello, I'm single by choice!!! And I'm probably happier that way than most of them are in their marriage/relationships.
If these guys are running the other way, let them. The right person will not only embrace you, but also your child. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/27/2008 3:35:12 AM | It's not that we are all afraid.
it's just that some single moms don't know when to cut the apron strings I was involved witha women who had a 19 year son old going on 13 and she liked that way.
it caused problems with us.
she also had a set of 18 year old twins one was a boy one was a girl. it caused problems with them too. for the most part we got along . I had some issues of my own being out of a 10 year relation that soured as we grew apart. I got mixed signals from her . so I had to get out and see if we backed out out and lived apart and dated for awhile to see if the relationship could work. she wanted to find some one to play house with not to marry, and she also wanted to keep her kids at home with him footing the bill for this. it wasn't me once I was out she had no intententions of trying to make it work with me.
I being a product of devorice and raised between a mom and stepdad and a single father who was a control freak took to the challange . but no matter the intent sometime baggage from other relationships effects the situation and even the nicest guy cant deal with it. I wish her well as I do you and I hope you both find who you are looking for. as for me I will live by the motto some thing just arn't ment to be and somtimes Love isn't enough. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/27/2008 5:12:22 AM | Why wonder?
You are better off finding a nice man that already has a child or children. He should also play an active role as a father. These are the men that understand the hectic schedules of parenting. They aren't as selfish compared to men with no children.
I've dated both and much prefer single daddies :)
Single daddies need luv too!
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/27/2008 6:13:27 AM | It really amazes me the extent that we pigeon hole everyone. You are what you are. The suggestions of you should do this or you should find some one like that.
Meeting anyone these days is crappy at best. Why don't we just start a thread to end all single parent threads named VENT HERE.
Then move on.
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:32:54 AM | I don't think single men ( or any men for that matter) do not like single mothers.
I think there are men period (single, married, gay, whatever) who don't like some women (single parent or otherwise) who have a poor attitude and are virtually impossible to date, whether they've got a child or not.
I would say there are lots of single moms out there who are great dating partners, assuming they meet someone at the right time and the right circumstance, and would be great dating partners with or without a child in the picture. People who have great mate qualities don't suddenly lose them all once they have children. That being said, lots of people out there have pretty lousy mating qualities, I'm sure some single fathers and some single mothers alike, and that doesn't change either once they have a kid.
What does change is the latter having a crutch to blame their dating problems onto.
"People don't want to date me because of my kid!"
Ok, that might be true. People also might not want to date you because you aren't attractive, you have a stiff personality or you just really aren't that interesting in any conceivable way.
There are some great single moms out there. There are also some single moms out there that make most people want to go sit down and have some whiskey.
The issues of being a single mother - kids, time, money, stress, exes, etc might be too hard to overcome for some people. And that's ok. Not everyone is built or suited for every other person in the world. But I would say it's never impossible.
The issue of being a single parent, man or woman, with a crappy attitude and the inability to be reasonable or see the other side of things is just too hard for anyone to overcome. No one in the world can handle that for the long term. It's just patently impossible.
I think single parents, men and women alike, need to sit down and evaluate which kind of single parent they are and what kind of dating partner they can be and offer to someone else. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/27/2008 8:51:04 AM | | You can't blame a person for deciding they don't want something that's presented to them. If they make a personal choice that they want a little fuel efficient car, you can't sell them on a pickup truck no matter how badly you want to. Finding the right person is not a one day process. Even if you found a man who was willing to take on the package deal, you have no guarantees that he's right for you, or maybe he isn't right for your child. I have 2 children, and I would much rather make sure that if I ever meet anyone, not only do I get to know him before he even meets my children, but I would take a lot of consideration in him before I got serious with him for the sake of my children. To date a woman or man with children means you have to be up to a very huge task, and that puts a lot of pressure on people, which leads to some hightailing it right away. In the end, though it's painful, you're better off they reacted that way. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/27/2008 7:17:21 PM |
Because I know for myself and single moms I know, we don't want to be "settled for".
Men or Women, with or without children...no difference. What sane person on this planet would WANT to be 'settled for' OR 'settle'? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/27/2008 11:58:14 PM | I guess the reason men don't like single mothers is because the amount of resposability we have. Men don't realize that is really hard yet we can handle it, God forbid it was them because they think it is the end of the world. Ladies!!! if you are a single parent keep up the good work and men out there, WE ARE THE STRONGEST OUT THERE!!! I am a single mother of 3 kids and I figured I am going to be single for the rest of my life but every time I look at my kids faces, I signed report cards and I see those good grade and those good grades from their teachers, it makes it all worth it.
I always sit and think I am doing great and if there is someone out there for me, They are in for a treat. My kids are worth every minute(specially because they have an awesome sense of humor)
Good luck with your search and it's all good, the world is not running out of men. | |
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