| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/31/2008 8:11:02 AM | Okay I will take the bait here folks:
I have noticed in a few threads that get started by single moms that they basically ask the same question which is why will single men not date me? Then when a few posters respond with why the original poster bashes them as do a few other single moms for posting what they think or have experienced the subject.
In my younger days I was a little foolish..now I am wiser so see my dating policy.
There is a thread called "no kids issue" basically asks the same question again lots of bashing. Another thread I saw yesterday was started by a man who said "Is it too much to ask to date a woman without a child?" Again some posters bashed saying children are wonderful (I agree they are) and how dare anyone not want to date a single mom. I would agree with a few posters on that thread and this one though that in my age range it could be tough to find someone who is not a single parent. What annoys me is that some get bashed for posting their opinion...if you do not want their opinion why are you posting on a public forum? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/31/2008 8:17:51 AM |
I've met plenty of men over the years who I could have fleeced, especially when I was younger and a bit feral. Reading these posts there certainly are enough men complaining about the women who used and abused them. So what makes some men so easy to use? While I understand the lure of voodoo punani, it can't be the only reason men get hooked on wanton women.
The missing piece is the impact gender feminists have had on our society. Many are taught women cannot be bad, whatever happens must somehow be be the guys fault because despite evidence to the contrary having an outtie instead of innie give one all the power in the world. And some people just never bother to question such silly views.
Well that would be my personal theory on why you have found MORE men to be easily used. Although I'd hazzard a guess that if one were interested about the same number of women could be used, just a different game is played to that end. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/31/2008 8:32:06 AM | Well that would be my personal theory on why you have found MORE men to be easily used. Although I'd hazzard a guess that if one were interested about the same number of women could be used, just a different game is played to that end.
Good theoery loons, after that they become single moms and start threads about how or why men don't date them.
Women here will profess to know everything about most everything and when they get duped they say I didn't know that would happen. No one ever told me about that. My personal favorite is "it will never happen to me" followed closely by "my kids will never turn out like that"
And the circle of modern life is complete. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/31/2008 10:33:32 AM | To me this is an endless and sometimes silly thread. Bottom line a person male or female with or without kids gets to choose who they are going to be. What type of person they are going to show the world. There are takers and there are givers. Period. Some men and some women are also choosing to be doormats. To each his/her own. The bottom line is some people choose to do unto others and there are people who choose to do unto themselves. For me I would rather date a giver. Better lover, better friend, remembers how to be a kid at heart.
Oh yes and I am still not wondering why a guy might not want to date me or may not like me...I don't care. There are plenty of people out there who will. They might become my good friend or perhaps they might become more. These are the people I am interested in. It is curious to me how this becomes such a black and white issue for some. But to each his own. Bottom line is we choose who we will be. WE choose who we let into our lives who is going to bring me up instead of down. Who is going to match with me. IT is the man not the title he may carry. I am bigger then my label of single mother. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/31/2008 2:13:05 PM | Little Mermaid said:
"I would rather date a giver." So the guy has to be the giver? Not you? Why do you not see that too many have an etitlement issue? That is one reason some men will not date single mothers.
Why should the man always be the giver and provider? Can't you provide for yourself?
You talk about friendship that is great but I bet you do not expect your male friends to be the giver all of the time!!!!
When I date someone I expect things to be 50/50 so neither of us is the giver or the reciever.
You really need to learn relationships are about balance and those who do not know this will be single for a long time. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/31/2008 2:28:59 PM |
When I date someone I expect things to be 50/50 so neither of us is the giver or the reciever.
Not sure what your post has to do with single parents, besides the fact to point out that you will never date them..but, seriously, Johne?
Isn't the natural ebb and flow of a relationship that it is sometimes 80/20 60/40, etc. going both ways, mind you...You never want to give, just to give?
At least that is my view of a healthy relationship regardless of your parent status. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/31/2008 2:38:16 PM | My point in the last post was that some single mothers (many of the ones I have dated) wanted to be with someone who gives and gives and gives...getting nothing from her in return.
Yes there are times when the giving may be 60/40 80/20 or any other combination adding up to 100% but it is about balance. When one oerson needs more the other gives more and then at some point the roles reverse. Many of the single moms I meet do not want that role reversal and move on to the next giver/provider. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/31/2008 2:48:18 PM | Well, the general feel of most of your posts suggests otherwise. If someone was looking at a profile of Johne based only on your posts, they would think that you:
Want each and every single mom you meet to prove to you that she is above the cut, before you even talk to her, and want her to give you 6 nights out of 7 of her time.
You can't expect people to prove to you what they're not, you have to let them prove to you what they are, good or bad. When it turns out that they prove they are not so good, it is not only their fault that you ended up in that relationship. It's yours also. This is all about personal responsibility. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/31/2008 3:18:50 PM | 104 pages and NOW some middle ground? 
Finally 
There are takers and there are givers. Period. Some men and some women are also choosing to be doormats. To each his/her own. The bottom line is some people choose to do unto others and there are people who choose to do unto themselves. For me I would rather date a giver. Better lover, better friend, remembers how to be a kid at heart.
I was going to rip that section apart, but the part just before that and after leads me to believe it is more of an elementary blanket statement than an advertisement for a sense of entitlement. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/31/2008 3:56:12 PM | Here's a simplified version of my last post: WHO CARES?! I'm referring to the repetition, you're all going in circles. Agree to disagree, it's about time... Thread be damned.
SIDE NOTE: Have you ever tried converting a hardcore Christian to atheism, or a hardcore atheist to Christianity? No? Well, then good luck in converting anyone here! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/31/2008 5:42:56 PM | I am a giver....so I am choosing to be with a giver...geesh do I really need to point that out John??? You should know that by now...I mean we have all been here for 100 plus threads. I stay the same.
Thanks looney for not ripping | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/31/2008 7:44:40 PM | | I stopped back, hi johne, how you doin? Giver think about it for a minute. Maybe the woman doesn't mean money guys. When you guys make love, who do you want in bed with you? A giver or a taker? Isn't it better then to recieve or would you always like to just give? Just a thought here? Bob | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/31/2008 8:06:24 PM | | Johne, that is the situation with single moms or dads. When you have kids there are going to be times when they give 100% to the kid and you get 0%. It can be a week or day or month. It is not like they are saying to themselves, "aw sh*t, johne gets 0 this month" doesn't work that way. It is what the needs are of the child. She is not planning it that way it just comes out that way sometimes. If she is just using you, then use discernment, recognize it and move on. Think about it. Bob | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/31/2008 8:10:19 PM | Bob it should be about balance and from my personal experience too many single moms do not realize that..giving sometimes and sometimes taking. Some (not all but some) just want to take and take and take..then start these threads asking why no one will date them and then they have a group of people in the same situation (in this case single moms) bashing those who say why they will not date the certain group and defending those who ask the question.
So for those who realize relationships are about balance and want to give as well as take that is great...you get it..now how do we get through to those that do not?
Maybe we never will...thus these threads get started and when guys like me with bad experiences post we get bashed . Not by all but by some.
Now if we could just get the government of Canada and the courts to balance that child support thing for ex step parents maybe many more men will actually persue dating a single mother or at least the ones who know a relationship is about balance.
The problem is the bad apples folks!!! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/31/2008 8:45:31 PM | | Johne, I hear you. Unfortunately what you are asking is impossible. That would be no different than the golddigger or cheater threads. Bad apples exist, bad people exist. It has been the same through out history. People of low morals will always try and take advantage of good or nice people. The difference is good people will do good things, to a point, then walk away when they see they are being taken advantage of. Nice guys, as they like to be called many, many times have an agenda to get some sort of recognition out of doing something nice or otherwise they are doormats with low self esteem and get used. As I said in earlier posts, if she/he is a user leave, if she/he is a bad parent scram, if you can't work out a balance between time they can give and time you need bail before somebody gets hurt. As I said in post 2573 I think, that law up there is f*cked up, either leave Canada or start a revolution, better than bashing single moms/dads. Now one more thing, no one is Garcan the magnificent, with the power to read minds or know good people from bad. So if it's a dirtbag who's trying to scam guys out of money or just simply a frustrated single mom who isn't getting a date on here posts a thread that strikes a chord with other single moms and they respond it makes sense. Sometimes just like ALL the other folks on here who say "no one will date me" or "no one responds to my emails" they are trying to understand the reasoning for the lack of they're success. Think about it. Bob | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/31/2008 9:25:03 PM | Loony, saying "who cares" was my way of saying that single parents shouldn't take insults too personally. That's all. Perhaps the way I worded it was inappropriate, but I wasn't offended in the least :)
Just curious as to why people don't simply ignore those who intentionally try to bring them down. i.e. a certain poster is trying to make single mothers feel worthless. This poster is so stubborn that it would be impossible to convince [aka "convert"] him. Now I know these mothers know they're not worthless, because they're not, but by responding to those unfair comments it's enabling the conversation to go in circles. If the same thing is said over and over again, how can the conversation possibly resolve anything? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/31/2008 9:29:33 PM | | Good post. But, The question should be, why do single women not want to date single fathers? I would think that a single father, like myself, are more responcible than other men. But, my daughter is my world, and will always be number 1 in my life, no matter how long I stay single. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/31/2008 10:10:58 PM | | Your both wrong. How many blended families do you see? In fact probably more than you know. Many single fathers don't have custody and they date and marry single mothers. The problem is usually for custodial fathers and single moms is single moms have a job, take care of kids and many times leave a relationship with a bad taste in their mouths from doing the majority of the house work on top of it. So at first they think why buy into another man's mess I'll be cleaning up. If you start slow, as friends let her see you'll shoulder responsibility for chores I think more than you know will give you a try. Bob | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/1/2008 1:40:49 AM | Sadly John is never going to change his ways. Its some kind of obsession for him to "try" to make single moms feel worthless. He will continue to post on here and he will continue to repeat himself over and over and over...
When I first started reading Johns posts (many moons ago!) I used to get quite upset or annoyed. But that soon wore off, when I realised that he has nothing constructive to say and just repeated himself constantly.
He seems to enjoy living in his little bubble, where no families ever split up , where nobody makes mistakes, where life always goes as planned etc..
However, he is at an age now, where if he isnt careful, the only available women to date ARE single moms. Unless ofcourse he decides to start dating girls alot younger than himself. There wont be that many women out there his own age, that dont already have children. | |
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