| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2008 12:17:44 PM | | Smuggler, I don't think men are useless. I'm just somewhat clueless about the facts, which seems true for most people today. They don't teach all that in the schools, ya know [which opens up a whole new can of worms]. Thanks for the heads up on the draft penalties, I'm very much against them. I'll gladly sign a petition that comes up with a fair solution. But if judges didn't create the laws, then who did? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2008 12:34:45 PM | | Sireel, a study has proven that familiarity really does breed contempt: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23014798/ They use the word "irritated" instead of "contemptuous," but the two are interrelated. Familiarity breeds irritation which breeds contempt. Okay, so they haven't yet proven that irritation breeds contempt. But based on my own experiences with irritating relationships, it makes complete sense. | |
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sireel
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Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 2653 | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2008 12:49:47 PM | | No, I never said that. I'm in a committed 3-year relationship, but I'll never live with him [he feels the same way]. Our relationship isn't only about sex and it's certainly not anonymous. We're great friends -- we've known each other for 6 years. Believe it or not, it's possible to have commitment without living together. | |
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sireel
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Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 2655 | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2008 2:24:23 PM | | I am looking for a long term life long romance with someone who can give to me as much as I can give to her emotionally and when we have chidren togeher we are on the same level. When single mom's say "My child always comes first" that sort of leaves you out in the cold or 2nd or 3rd in the relationship right? Yet I would have to pay an equal ammount of the bills? Sorry not for me. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2008 2:43:40 PM | | Johne, just because SOME single mothers are angry at single men for not dating them, I would wager that MOST of them just don't give a damn. The few bad apples [single mothers who are bitter toward single men] only appear to represent the majority because their rants are the most intense. Even though it's very possible that they represent the majority, it has not been documented on a scientific basis. If you present evidence to the contrary, let me know. And no, your personal experiences don't count. 10 single mothers out of 1 or 2 billion is too small a sample to be representative of the majority. Unless you start contributing factually-based information, this is the last thing I'm going to say to you. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2008 3:20:41 PM | | I misworded my previous post. While personal experiences do count, they don't make much sense without a logical basis to connect them with. And publicly believing in something illogical makes you a fool ;) | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:17:22 PM | I had to jump in here!!! This thing is like a freight train out of control. FIRST and most important Johne don't have kids. That would be inhumane at best. Next don't start your SH*T till you answer the questions on the last page you moron. Then meaningfully apologize to ALL the ladies you insulted. Frog, the laws are made by congress, signed by the president or governor depending on state or federal law and enforced by the court. I'll catch up again soon, Bob.
don't you people in Canada have any looney bins for these people. Where's the guy with the net to grab em | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2008 4:51:18 PM | Bob:
to answer your questions my parents have been married for 37 years andMy opinion is based oin my experoences as well as what makes sense to me...paying for someone else's child does not make sense to me. Did that answer your questions? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2008 5:22:19 PM |
I am looking for a long term life long romance with someone who can give to me as much as I can give to her emotionally and when we have chidren togeher we are on the same level. When single mom's say "My child always comes first" that sort of leaves you out in the cold or 2nd or 3rd in the relationship right? Yet I would have to pay an equal ammount of the bills? Sorry not for me.
Johne...just wait until you do find that long term romance, and have kids...it will not change. Your long term romance will still put you 2nd or 3rd to the kids, because they are children and need her, you are an adult and can take care of yourself. It happens, it's life, deal.
frOgkiss3r:
Johne, just because SOME single mothers are angry at single men for not dating them, I would wager that MOST of them just don't give a damn. The few bad apples [single mothers who are bitter toward single men] only appear to represent the majority because their rants are the most intense.
Thank you! I really don't give a damn if you ever date another single mom Johne. And yes, it has been established that Canadian law is mind-blowingly messed up.
I don't hate men, and if someone doesn't want to date me...meh no big deal. Their choice, they are entitled to their preferences. It's their life.
I was hoping beyond hope that this thread would have either died down, or gotten some common sense to it after this many pages, but I guess not.
MalibuSteve: well done!
Smuggler: You know where I stand...we are not all like what is portrayed, and we are feeling the consequences of "feminism" and are not happy one damn bit about it.
And just for the record...I think our US military should be like the Israeli's...every single person, male OR female, upon graduation from high school, should have to serve at least one year in the military. I would have gladly done it. I still would, but I am too old hehe. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2008 5:23:04 PM | | Johne, I never said you should give single mothers another chance. Because you're absolutely right, the loco parentis law is a terrifying prospect for men. I'm simply wondering what evidence you have to confirm that the single mother stereotype applies to most single mothers, as opposed to just some of them? Provide the link to a study that scientifically proves that this particular stereotype applies to the majority rather than the minority. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2008 5:30:19 PM |
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Not anymore, since Johne has already told everyone 384,579 times now.  
Okay sorry, bad joke! lol
Out of sheer curiosity, and just to hopefully start a new discussion rather than all the back and forth with the same poster, do a lot of the single parents find that age might have something to do with it? What I mean is, I'd imagine that at 24, say, not as many single people would possibly want to take on a step-parent role, whereas in their 30s they might be more willing. Do a lot of the single parents posting here find that this has been true in the people they've dated, or is my idea just so much fluff? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:03:43 PM | Don't ask me why but I was pondering this thread earlier while I was in the shower and a thought came to me..I wonder if most men would still have the same feelings towards say the single mother sister of a women they were involved with.. Would they tell this women to her face all the impressions and assumptions that they have of single mothers, or do they ever take anyone on a case by case basis...
Not anymore, since Johne has already told everyone 384,579 times now.
Good one! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:06:13 PM | Yes I understand when I have a child with the love of my life (my wife) the children will come first at times. The key is balance...knowing when the child comes first and when the adults come first, (some single mom's do not understand that.)
In my opinion (based on people that I know) the above poster asked if age has anything to do with dating a single parent older men may be more receptive (in most cases) to being a step parent.
I do not know all single mother's and never said that I did...but many of the ones I have met in my lifetime left me with a bad impression...not all but many. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:07:17 PM | I'll take that one step further, quirky, if you don't mind. I wonder if these men had sisters or cousins who are single moms and were just looking for a good man to be in their lives if they would have the same attitude?
And Johne, you never responded to Steve's answer to your question "where have I insulted single mothers". | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:08:14 PM | Be my guest, Simm..Great addition to the question!
but many of the ones I have met in my lifetime left me with a bad impression...not all but many.
Johne, what made you think ANY of us did not know that already? Seriously.
and yeah, you never DID answer Steve...hmmmm | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:13:44 PM | I did answer it...I am sorry if you take my opinion as insulting...I am just stating my opinion based on interactions with single moms in the dating world.
My sister does not want to have children so I will not have to think about that situattion. I have a few cousins who are single mothers who are on welfare...(one collecting child support from 2 men for one child welfare forced her to collect child support from the second guy even though she did not want to) another has 3 kids, with 3 different father's and collecting support from 2 men for one child and from 3 men for one child.)
I have a few friends who are single moms and they are great people...they understand why men will not date single mothers...my cousins? One understandas and one does not. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:16:27 PM |
I have a few friends who are single moms and they are great people...they understand why men will not date single mothers
So, are they content just to be alone forever..They never expect to ever have anyone in their life again because of the lifestyle that they lead, by choice or not? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:38:30 PM |
I did answer it...I am sorry if you take my opinion as insulting...I am just stating my opinion based on interactions with single moms in the dating world.
I can't believe that after reading Steve's post you cannot see how your opinion and the way you put it across is offensive. And not to mention a ton of your posts got cleaned out....you still have never answered my one question I probably started asking you about six months ago...what is your motivation? What do you hope to gain from being on here saying the same thing over and over? Have you ever asked yourself that? I'm with Bob. You need some help. Seriously. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2008 6:50:56 PM | To answer your question Quirky:
I didn't have my kids until I was late 20's-early 30's. My experience has been that most of the men my age (42) are done raising their kids. I still have a ways to go with a 10, 12 and 16 yr old at home. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2008 7:21:24 PM | To answer Simmah's question I post so that single mom's (at least the one's in Canada) wil understand why it is hard for them to get a date. A few of my friends who are single mom's accept that they could be alone until the kids turn 18. They do not like it but they accept it and they understand why men are hesitant to date them. A few want to date someone and always saty that they "Are not looking for more child support" but when I point out one of my cousin's situation (welfare forcing her to get support from her child's ex step father or no welfare cheque.) they understand..the economy is not good right now and dating can be put on the back burner for many people due to more pressing and urgent issues. (That applies to everyone not just single mom's.)
I have heard a few of my single mom friend's complain that after guys meet the type of women I have dated they are scared away from single mom's. I do understand their frustration. I had supper with one of them tonight and she asked me why can't a man be a good role model for her son? My reply was a can be a great friend and role model for her son without dating her. She seems to think the 2 go together. She got frustrated insisting that the 2 should go together. I pointed out to her I am a friend to both of them but thre is clearly a line I will not cross. I asked her if the situation were reveed if she met a man with 4 kids and the man had custody if the child support issue would cross her mind and she admitted thatshe never thought of it that way before.
I have softened my position somewhat..I am currently dating a woman who has a teenage boy but the child lives with his father. I have not met him just yet. The boy lives with his father by choice apparently last year he started to get uncomfortable discussing things with mom and perfered to live and talk to his father because he is a man.
Single mom's may have it tough for dating but taking on another man's responsibilty (should you marry or live common law) is not for everyone. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2008 7:42:09 PM | | Quirky: many men, regardless of age, prefer to date single mothers because they seem less threatening than us childfree [as opposed to childless] women. Perhaps they feel unreasonably threatened by us because we don't seem to be threatened by anything. We're not afraid of going against the grain even when we're wrongly called "child haters." These men probably misinterpret a childfree woman's confidence as rebellious arrogance, so they tend to prefer a woman who seems less threatening -- a single mother. Ironically, these men are usually arrogant and have little confidence. This is only one type of man, though, so take it with a grain of salt. | |
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