|
|
|
|
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/27/2005 9:16:37 PM | | I think that some men are definately afraid of starting a relationship with single Moms because they understand that our kids come first,and that the guy will always come second even if we fall in love.Some guys are too selfish to want to deal with it and it's because THEY want to be Number One in our lives...so they'll gravitate more to single ladies,or just the younger ones who HAVE no family responsisbilties....and what I find funny is that some of these men are in their forties!!! Some guys here are divorced or separated and want out sympathy too...well Ladies...if we have the time to listen after making lunches,doing homework,spending great times with our kids....it WOULD be fantastic to meet a guy who understands all of this! Until we meet a guy like that it's my personal opinion,after meeting a few guys who needed to grow up-I'd rather spend the time with my son!AND I LOVE it! | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/27/2005 9:20:36 PM | | What pisses me off is that I am always upfront with men about my daughter.They always say...thats ok..I am sort of a kid still myself...I wait a few months and then introduce them to my 4 year old daughter...she of course adores them. They are dating me..not my kid..and then down the road they decide that perhaps they might want to have their own kids now with someone that doesnt have any yet. Or guys that date you and say that they dont really want kids but get teased by their guy friends for dating a single mom and then dump you for a girl that doesnt have kids but who is the same age and believe me has her clock ticking and sure as hell is going to want to have babies with them. So for those men who dont want kids.....wouldnt single moms be ideal? I dont drag a man on a date to the frickin park and I dont talk about my daughter on a date so I am not sure what the issue is. I havent dated a single father yet but I have been told that maybe that is the best thing to do and I tried to meet some on here but those guys are weekend Dads and can you believe it...want to meet girls without kids so they arent stuck with too many kids around cause they need a break?!?!?!?!?!?! How can I keep entering every relationship with the idea that they are only around long enough until they are ready to settle down with a girl with no baggage?!?!?!?!?!?!? I enjoy a good time and I am plenty of fun but I feel I am doomed to be a party favour for men that dont see me long term because I apparently have made a decision that has now rendered me not relationship material for the rest of my life or until they too go through the whole divorce thing themselves and then realize I was a great girl all along. Does anyone have any suggestions? I dont want to have to switch teams here hahahaha but honestly..are men going to tell me that none of them had great stepfathers that gave their mothers a chance?????? Thanks for reading this...Jodie. | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/28/2005 6:23:54 AM | Hey Jodie, I can understand your frustration about single guys. Of course, not all single guys are like that... just gotta be patient and be selective about who you are willing to date. I know, easy advice... ;)
It's coming from a single dad though... and no, I am not a weekend dad either. I left my ex- almost a year ago, with my 6 yr old son... I now have custody of his 24/7 for 42 weeks a year, and he visits his mom for maybe 10 weeks each summer. So not all single dads are "weekend warriors"... even among them though, I think with some selectiveness, you may find there are some great guys who just weren't able to get their kids full time. Maybe because of their work schedule, or their ex- drove em to financial ruin over who was getting the kids, etc... not always their fault, that they didn't end up with the kid(s).
I'd be ok with a date to a park, myself... why does that have to be only for kids?  I also think that yes, a single mom probably would be ideal in my head... after all women who have never had a kid, may not understand how much time and attention a 6 yr old can take... even one who is just awesome. 
Just my opinion, but you are a good looking gal... don't allow yourself to be a party favor for guys. I'm not saying wait till marriage for sex, but don't get too frisky too quickly, either... I would take that as a sign you are willing to be with almost any guy. Some emotioanal attachment, respect for each other, friendship... I want all those before I'd be willing to get too physical, were I in your shoes. Of course, I've been told I'm an unusual one before, with my rather old fashioned values, and odd thoughts like that. Just not into the cheap and easy sex... I've seen the difference, and know what I seek.
Good luck to you though, hang in there. :)
 Leif | |
|
| |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/28/2005 8:55:54 AM |  hello just want to say that i am a single father and i have a daugther who don't live with me.but with me if i meet a single mom i ratter take her and her kids.why? because i love kids and i work with them in the art of kung_fu i always have love kids .but like you said why do men run away because you are a single mother and have kids unles he never had or never wanted kids but that is one thing that make me very upset with .this is why i write poetry about women and the way they feel within them self if i would meet a single mother the first thing that i would ask is do you have any children of your own and if she answer yes then she would ask why that's when i tell her that i love children and would like to have one of my own.so what you have to do is not to give up because you will find some body who love children but if they love your children then they should take them why because they are part of your life and world you gave birth to them.but i would like to say that i would love to get to know you and what you like and would like to hear from you.i will send you a email telling you everything about my self so you will know what kind of man i am okay.that if you don't mine oh will you do something for me tell your lovely daugther that i said that she is very beauitful and lovely just like her mother. | |
|
| |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/28/2005 11:26:56 AM | WeekendHuntress,
Those have been your experiences, I hear that. I just want to assure you that not all men are like that. In my way of thinking, of course the children need to be looked after and given first consideration... to make sure they are safe, healthy, well loved, etc. I'll agree to that... my son is my little sunshine, and there isn't a woman born who could make me love him any less. However, adults, parents do need together/personal time.
Maybe the guys you have encountered haven't learned how to split their time, to ensure the kids get what they need, and to be selfless enough to allow them that, indeed even encourage that... and between personal time with you? I guess to me, it's not a matter of being placed before or after a woman's child... but whether we could work it out so that all of us got the time we needed, both individually and together.
I like to have some time to myself, and doubt that I'll ever meet a woman who wants to share ALL my interests. That's not what I seek anyways... someone who wants to ALWAYS be around me... as an adult, I like my freedom, yet I'd willingly choose to spend some of "my" time, even a majority of it, with the right woman. Someone who I was happy, comfortable to be with, and intriguing. If she had kids, I'd want to get to know the kids as individuals also, develop relationships with them too... no, not right at first, of course... better to make sure the woman and I got along well and were both committed to growing a relationship and caring for each other.
Still, a woman with kids DOES have to look out for their welfare first, even protecting them from her man, if she were to feel they were being endangered or harmed. This just seems like common sense to me. I don't feel that would make me inferior in her eyes... just priorities would be different. She bore those kids, and to them her first duty still lies, until they are grown and on their own. Duty, honor, responsibility, unconditional love... as parents we owe these to our kids. Doesn't mean we always agree with them, but as they grow older and begin to start exercising control over their own lives to a greater extent, the need to constantly spend as much time supervising them will lessen. Maybe these guys just can't wait until that point in time... but there are guys who will, so never give up. :)
Leif | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/28/2005 9:46:49 PM | Cntrygrl101,
A woman with kid(s) can be great and I have befriended them. There are a whole host of issues though. First of all a man needs to answer in his own mind if he is mature enough to handle them--though it should not be an issue in the age range you seek. Secondly you need to talk early about his own desires to have children and if they are not compatible then you need to part company quickly. Thirdly you must decide if you are willing to invest the time and energy in the man that is necessary to achieve your goals.
Good luck. | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/28/2005 10:57:57 PM | | i have to agree with alot of yall. i see both points but mostley i think guys wont date a single mom cause they wont be the center of attenton, they wont be able to be with the girl whenever they want. i think it could be a power thing maybe that they know the child will (and should) always come before the guy. but children with single parents do get easily attatched, and its hard enough to get your heart broke but its horrible when you have to explain to your child | |
|
| |
*Em*
|
Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 264 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/29/2005 6:00:47 AM | hi hunni
well i have 4 kids with 4 dads.....never EVER have i seen men run sooooooo fast!!! they seem to think i "sleep around", not that i simply fell for 4 wrong men!
children are a gift and we are so lucky...men who run off are simply not worthy of sharing our rare gift such as our children.
sassy
xx | |
|
| |
| |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/18/2005 4:26:46 PM | Most guys that don't want children don't want to be with someone that has children. Some guys that want children feel weird about taking care of someone elses child. Some think the financial aspect of it would be to over whelming. Some think that if they get with a girl that has some children then they can't have sex with them when they want to at that time, the kids are awake or wait until later. There are a lot of reasons that some guys don't want anything to do with a girl that has children or just date them for a little while.
Regardless. You meet who you meet. Don't judge or put into a category of why things are they way they are. I would like to think that every man wants to have children some day... but I know I am wrong (sadness beyond words it is). If you get with someone that has a child. Don't try to impress the women by making them think you love the child, but to really know to yourself you don't want to be in this relationship. Don't attempt something you arn't going to run with. Thats like being on this site. Jion make a profile only to leave it sit and don't reply to anyone that msg's you. Kinda pointless would you say?
Don't be with someone just because your lonely or want sex.
"I can only describe what I have learned"
-Mike | |
|
Curvy
|
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 268 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/18/2005 5:49:50 PM | Honestly in my experience men these days tend to be far more open to accepting someone that has children. One also must consider age range, I mean the chances of women in their thirties having at least one child I would suggest is fairly common, therefore if men choose not to date single mom's they are limiting their dating ratio. Or perhaps some single mom's need to look at the age range of those men they are attracted to as there may be a correlation to why they're not successful in finding a partner.
However, I find those men that don't date single mom's are either:
A) Afraid of the commitment (the other "C" word lol)
What committment??? My children have a awesome dad. I am not looking for a daddy for the kids but a partner for mommy...
B) Expect their partner to be able to be accessible 24/7 like them
Maybe I don't want to be accessible 24/7... I value the time I spend with my kids and the right man for me would understand and appreciate that and in time if he wants to be able to join us in the fun then we would gladly let him in.
C) Want to have their own. In my case is not possible as I am DONE... but this of all the reasons I find is completely acceptable as we know as mothers and fathers how amazing it is to have a child and be able to nurture and embrace all the special moments we have... so how could I ever deny someone of that... Simple answer, I can't. Thats not to say those who adopt don't feel the same way ... just saying if the opportunity permits and someone is able to have their own ... it is the most incredible experience which I could never deny someone having.
Just my two cents...
Curves | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/18/2005 5:56:00 PM | Wow...soo many opinions!! What about our childrens opinions?? I am a single mother of a precious little girl, I too have experienced the dating pains of men(oops sorry LITTLE BOYS) running away from me because I have a kid...but really does it affect my life?? Only if I let it right?!? I say let them run!! Cause I have a great career and can take care of myslef so i dont need any guy to support me or my child, and i dont need a guy in my life determine my self worth. I am the mom and the dad...and wouldnt have it any other way!!
I respect the guy who tells me he wants nothing to do with me cause i have a kid...cause in all honesty he could lie to you...then f*** you and chuck you...and I dont want that either...
SO i say stop looking and be happy with yourself then maybe Prince Charming will come!! God knows i am still waiting for mine | |
|
| |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/18/2005 6:48:45 PM | I am a single mom, my son is now 18. I have dated very little in 18 years.
There were many reasons things didn't work out.
My son, or being a single parent was not the problem in most of the situations.
Many times (too many, you would think I learned the 1st time) it was a married guy who, amazingly enough, forgot they were married to someone else for a few weeks. HAH..GO FIGURE!!
Sometimes it was someone who wanted a mother figure, someone to cook and clean up after them, too. And why not? I was already doing so for a child, what was one more? Come on guys I want a partner not another kid.. as in some help, not more work.
When my son was real young, a male friend of mine,.. (Yes, I actually had male friends I didn't sleep with.. imagine that!) told me that the guys he hung with had the idea single moms were 'easy' targets, because they already had a kid so you know they will 'do it'. And, It was no big deal to walk out when things got too hot because it already happened once and they were strong enough to handle it. After his girlfriend left him with costody of his baby girl, He said he would never think like that again because now he was on the other end of that.
And many times I was the problem, not the men. I have very little patience for liars and mooches. When you have to be STRONG enough to show no fear, for your children. INDEPENDENT enough to make 100% of the decisions. RESPOSIBLE for every meal, every nights sleep, every friend, every minute, person, place and thing you and your child come into contact with. Well, let's just say when you get used to having that much control it is hard to relinquish some off to another to help with, just to find out they couldn't handle their half of the load and you have to carry the full pack all over again. So it is easier to blow em off and go it alone.
Women who are TOO strong, independent, responsible and wise are intimidating and a turn off for most men.
Let's face it I just can't remember when it is okay to be bossy and when it is okay to to let someone else make all the plans.
So I guess I will just go camping alone and leave the dating to you.
Have Fun!!!
TeaL | |
|
jumbie
|
Joined: 5/26/2005
Msg: 272 | |
| |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/18/2005 7:19:39 PM | | It's not all one-sided....alot of women don't wanna date a single dad with 2 kids either. At this point in my life finding someone "special" would be gret...but,i live in a town that doesn't seem to have alot of interested people. You meet someone....spark an interest...and then open up about your life and seems that your kids become a wall some can't seem to get around. I'm a very devoted dad....even moved away from a dream home to be closer to my kids cause seeing them twice a month wasn't good enough....I wanted more...those that view a single parent as some sort of alien really need an awakening. I for one would welcme a single mom....if things were to workout...i'm not afraid to intigrate families....In short?...takes a single parent to understand a single parent....lol. Anyway,....now i've said my piece and perhaps looked like an idiot in doing so...hats off to single mom's.....if someone can't acept the fact there is children as part of the package....seems it's all about them,they need the attention...who's really the kid?...lol. | |
|
| |
| |
|
| Page 11 of 140
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41 |
|
Home
login 
