| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/5/2008 10:14:25 AM | well from a male point of view the truths not pretty true people are either cheats misfits etc or they will love you for who you are but get into a relationship with kids can u love my kid as you love your own can i love your child as well as i love my own. simple answer noone can . not to say we cant love them or care .Having been through 2 relationships with others kids its not easy.Ive always thought consiously of this and actually always put someone elses child before mine .Even when u have another child in a relationship and both have same mother when the chips are down which child is going to to be the problem to the other side. think about it .At the same time im a single dad with a full time daughter i love very much and i only date woman with children. Ive met many women most of which have come up to me and as soon as ive asked them if they have kids (my usual line nowing full well at my age most of them have kids they run a mile) Stats 1 in 4 relationships with a child from another relationship works.Hey life isnt easy it gets tough ,lonely etc etc .at the end of the day its a small price to pay for a happy child. Dont date people without kids there probably doing you a favour if they run off if not you tjheyve done your child a favour,be very careful before you get into a full on live in relationship not to say it cant work i personally would have loved it but it aint easy ,it takes a very mature couple and a lot of heartache and arguments.My advice now to anyone is find someone you like who is also in your situation become independant look for companionship be happy to meet on weekends or whatever. Hey your kids wont be young forever and theyll do a lot better in a single loving relationship than one thats probably destined to fail.
Sorry sometimes life sucks ,i hate destroying dreams but the sad part is a lot of u wont understand till youve been there . | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/5/2008 10:28:40 AM | | true i have nothing but admiration for single mums but if youve been a user or goldigger of either sex (and they exist in the same proportion) then lets just call it karma at the end of the day your child will grow up if you dont get a chance before then at least youll have one then lets just hope you have learnt because at the end of the day the older you get all the bad eggs are still there and most of the good ones are gone there all happy.All the same i hol;d nothing against anyone I wish you sincerely all the best.I guess im just saying things have a way of coming back on us | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/5/2008 12:49:43 PM | I guess men who aren't ready for family life probably wouldn't want to date a woman with a child from another marriage.
I know, before the birth of my child - the thought of dating a woman with a child was intimidating for a number of reasons having mostly to do with my not wanting to interefere in someone else's family in case things weren't finalized emotionally.
And who wants to have the guilt of a poor child's guilt on your head if the relationship goes nowhere?
Then, after the birth of my child and the experiance of fatherhood, and being long since divorced but still being deeply moved by the beauty of fathering and the proximity to a mother-child bond. It's so uplifiting.
Now, my main fear - once selecting the suitable partner, would be getting to close emotionally with the kid which would make it heart-breaking to me if the relationship had to end.
So I went from emotional child to emotional maturity and now out of this sense of emotional maturity I am extra cautious not to hurt feelings or burn bridges. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/5/2008 2:15:22 PM | Sorry Bob I did not answer a few of your questions...I did not realize you coyld report someone who asks for money during the dating process. I know you can report it if the do it through a message on this site.
In all fairness to single moms yes being a single mom is atough job. I do understand that you want companionship. Some of you do see it from the perspective of someone like me but a few do not. Why can't you just be a friend to single mom and her offspring..wht must you date them to be seen as a nice guy in some people's eyes?
I know what I want out of life and what will make me happy, I am sorry if life providing for someone else's child is not what I want. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/5/2008 2:39:27 PM | john,
You have clearly missed the point. Again.
Why can't you just be a friend to single mom and her offspring..wht must you date them to be seen as a nice guy in some people's eyes?
Nobody is saying you must date them to be a nice guy. In fact, if you'd like, I can go back and count the number of times people have told you directly that we respect your decision. Where you cease being a nice guy is when you begin insulting single parents, implying (if not stating) that they are flawed, and mindlessly spewing your spiteful dogma.
I know what I want out of life and what will make me happy, I am sorry if life providing for someone else's child is not what I want.
If avoiding single mothers makes you happy, I think we're all fine with that. All we're asking is that you treat people with basic respect.
By the way, I question your ability to know what will make you happy. While you definitely seem to know things that would make you unhappy, your poor choices in dates, and your stalwart refusal to accept any personal responsibility for your experiences lead me to believe that you are in denial and are seeking happiness in all the wrong places. (Not to imply that single mothers would be the right places.) | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/5/2008 4:18:56 PM | | Johne, you seem more in control tonight, that's a good thing. What I believe Steve and I are trying to say to you is this: 1. When you dated these women, when the first one asked for money or whatever. You gave it or not, it was wrong. When the second one did the same thing, it was wrong. When the third did............. Johne, after 3 people do that to you in a row, you have to queestion what it is you did to either lead them to expect money from you or what you did to select these women FROM ALL the women on here. Never mind go onto date 5 more exactly like them. 2.Since you have decided NOT to date anymore single moms, and have told the WHOLE SINGLE MOM WORLD you won't, why are you still here? You've posted the same thing at least once for 50 days do you not think they know your opinion by now? Now it is time to let others post. 3 You need to look how you select women. Not for me, or single moms, or steve or anyone else on this thread but for you. Don't you know single women without kids try to get money out of guys? If you pick all takers and no givers, they will always take. 4. WHY NOW after 100 page rant would you date a single mom? Custodial or not it makes no sense in light of what you have ranted about for 100 pages. You don't believe the child could move back with his mom? That also makes no sense. 5. Voicing opinions is alright, I agree with that part of it. For my part, I apologize to you for some of my flip statements at your expense. You however have to see that your insults to these ladies is unfair and baseless. You never dated any one of them who have posted here. So your judging them is insulting, unfair and shows very poor judgement in how you view people you don't know. Statements of things unrelated to them repeated over and over with careless and hurtful remarks thrown in will not make for a better discussion. I think that covers it. Bob | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/5/2008 4:26:52 PM | | because guys cant handle a real woman they want someone they can **** around with and there not mature enough for a real relastionship with a real woman who knows what she wants. Guys are to **** they have no balls. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/5/2008 4:47:05 PM |
because guys cant handle a real woman they want someone they can **** around with and there not mature enough for a real relastionship with a real woman who knows what she wants. Guys are to **** they have no balls.
Please don't attack all guys in this manner. I find it quite offensive. I don't feel that this describes me at all.
(Note: I rewrote this 3 times before I could make it sound polite.) | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:39:11 PM | | Jesslayla, come back when you grow up and know what your talking about. I feel it is unfortunate for you at such a tender age to have motherhood thrust upon you. Most men that are in your age range have a case of raging hormones and wish to sleep with anyone they can, while not being equiped to handle the consequences of their actions. Most if not all the men posting are of a more mature nature therefore it would not be fair to judge them. For that matter, it is not fair of me to judge you. I changed my original post after checking your profile. I wish you well on your journey. Now back to our regularly scheduled rant, Bob | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/5/2008 5:49:26 PM | Jess not all men are bad as neither are the mothers who bore them. But wait I am thinking maybe might have found a girl version..j and j.?
Some is not all. Many types of people represented on this planet.
Some men here bob and steve seem to have head and err balls in the right place. Fair and balanced.
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/5/2008 6:11:25 PM |
because guys cant handle a real woman they want someone they can **** around with and there not mature enough for a real relastionship with a real woman who knows what she wants. Guys are to **** they have no balls. I'm going to have to go with the other posters on this one. I've looked at your profile and fear that you will continue to attract the same type of men that you dislike. Why? For the simple reason that you have no respect for men let alone women or yourself. If you did, you would not make a blanket statement such as you did. Your post was insulting to all of us on here. I think you need to look at your own maturity level before slaming someone else's. It does not take a great deal of maturity to insult or rant. Rather the opposite if truth be told. If these guys are really looking for a "real women" they won't find it in you with your attitude. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/5/2008 6:40:50 PM |
because guys cant handle a real woman they want someone they can **** around with and there not mature enough for a real relastionship with a real woman who knows what she wants. Guys are to **** they have no balls.
And a 50-50 split on calling her on the vile bitterness. Ladies you just made my night
Any bets this is one that will remain single for sometime if that attitude doesn't change and end up posting half a dozen of her own threads with a title similar to this one?
To paraphrase Mr.T, "Ah pity da foo dat dates anyone with that outlook" | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/5/2008 6:58:49 PM |
because guys cant handle a real woman they want someone they can **** around with and there not mature enough for a real relastionship with a real woman who knows what she wants. Guys are to **** they have no balls.
Greeeeeeeeeeeeeat! Seriously, there is no place for such bile on this thread. Some people already have enough of a bad impression of single moms and when a single mom comes on telling how bad men are, it does not help the cause whatsoever.
All my hard work down the friggin toilet. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/5/2008 7:12:42 PM |
Why can't you just be a friend to single mom and her offspring..wht must you date them to be seen as a nice guy in some people's eyes?
Is that why you emailed me and a few other single moms on this thread asking us about ourselves, etc. Because you wanted to be our friend? Why would you want to be friends with a group of women that you think so lowly of. I question your real motivation trying to just be single moms' "friends". If you think we are all out for your money, then if we were friends, aren't you concerned we would ask you for money as well...I don't get it..but perhaps that is just me...
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/5/2008 7:14:47 PM | Don't worry quirky, after everyone reads her profile and sees her age, they won't put much weight to what she's said. It just shows that she is very bitter and still has a long way to go in growing up. No this is not meant to insult her. It is an observation which most will agree with.
Why can't you just be a friend to single mom and her offspring..wht must you date them to be seen as a nice guy in some people's eyes? With friends like that.......who needs enemies....haha
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/5/2008 7:34:06 PM | | Ahhhh quirky, we know ya luv us. Your work was not in vain. My first reaction was anger, she is just a scared girl, lashing out. That's a big burden to put on young shoulders. I can only imagine the fear, the angst she must feel below that anger. Tough age to go through that kind of disappointment. Bob | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/5/2008 7:53:24 PM | Well this guy only looks at single mom's as potential friends. But then again I only look at single childless women as potential friends too. It keeps me from getting caught up in the whole jealousy thing.
I did read her profile now though, and did I see that she is expecting a guy in his early/mid 20's to step in and look after her family? Or is it just a bitter attitude and lack of clarity making it seem like that is what I saw? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/5/2008 8:16:52 PM | | I'd rather look at it as everyone is a potential friend. Men, women with and w/o children. I just feel, single moms "I" have encountered are more balanced. I don't know if you can relate to that, I hope so, they (the ones I've met and been involved with)are more emotionally available, kind of deeper feelings. Again I'm older, I don't live in Canada where those laws are screwed up. Now as to the girl, maybe I'm projecting, but I think what must have gone through her young mind, faced with a child, thinking at 20, my life must now become this child's at least till I'm 38. The guy bailed.........just sad.......Bob | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/5/2008 8:17:34 PM | | Hang in there gal. You are very beautiful and your daughter is too. When the right person shows up, you will not even sweat it out. Yes, you are right "they don't know what they are missing" and its their loss. Guess I have two sons, single for the past 6 years and just started fishing on here for the past three weeks or so. I have received tons of emails but I am sure it will end up nowhere bearing in mind that I have two sons. I love them to death and I would rather remain single for the rest of my live rather than have somebody who will come and make us miserable. We are the happiest and most peaceful family that lives in this world | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/5/2008 8:38:29 PM | | Hotchoc, what do you base that on? You sound normal, caring and sincere. Wait, choose wisely, carefully and anything is possible. You MUST face life with an attitude of "the best is yet to come" and you will be fine. Bob | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/5/2008 9:19:01 PM | | Just because I will not date a single mom with custody of a minor child does not mean I do not think that some single mom's are great people. Quirky I messaged you because I like yur posts...you seem lke a very intellegent person. You prove my point for me in some ways...if I post saying I will not date single mom's but seek friendship you think I am flawed in my motivation. So I go back to wondering what is wrong with being just friends....who needs all of that extra garbage associated with dating anyway? | |
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