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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:01:10 PM | Yes they all had jobs but they still felt entitled to have someone else pay for clothes, school supplies, cel phones, rent just because they feel a man should provide for them. Not a long term partner just a man they went out on a date with. If they ttruly could support tjemse;lves why are they asking a man they did not know well to provide things? It gave me a bad imnpression of them and of single mom's in general.
Again we have that loco parentis thing here in Canada that scares me completely off from dating single moms. I do not wish to support someone else's child.
Some men feel the same way no matter where they live.
Canoegirl complained in a thread once about high rents where she lives (I agree with her rental rates in her city are crazy) however the point is that there is something called supply and demand that feeds this sort of thing if the landlords were finding it tough to find someone to rent to they would lower the rates, but when there are 8 people trying/wanting to rent the same place the landlord can be as picky as they want and charge as muc as they want. If single mom's really are in such demand why is it that almost every week a new thread gets started by a single mom asking why men will not date them? If they truely were in a great situation they would be in high demand to the point they would not be single very long. The truth is when you are a single parent and when you date a single parent it can be very complicated and there are issues that are not there if you date a childless person. Some people just want to see themselves as the greatest thing to the opposite sex when in fact they may be a great person but their situation is not desirable to many people.
Mike Harris and the "The common sense revolution" portrayed single parents as part of the reason for the Ontario deficit and advocated openly for parents to stay together even if it was for the sake of the children. His only flaw? He passed legislation that has people paying child support for children that are not their children. With government blaming single parenbts for the debt and such stupid policies with people paying child support for ex step children it has become easy for single parents to be painted in a bad light in the media.
Womens and parental lobby groups say things like..if you act in a parental role for the child you are a parent. Okay but do you see how early in the dating process with some of the potential liabilities that this can be a turn off to people who may date single mothers? If you fail to see that as an honest legit rason not to date single moms then that is why you will keep seeing threads like this pop up.
I like children but want to have my money go to my own children. So how is such a situation something men should want to take part in? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:08:13 PM | Johne,
We get it, really, try expressing a different opinion on another topic, seriously.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion, I have watched this thread but your last comment was seriously the most immature thing you have posted to date. A supply/ demand on single moms? Get serious, we are humans, not someone with an infectious disease. You are right, you or any other man in the world doesn't have to date any of us, in fact, please don't, it's men like you that leave a bad taste in our mouths.
If men don't want to date single moms, thats fine, they are entitled to do as they see fit for them, most of us wouldn't want it any other way. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:11:55 PM | | You don't like children. You could not write the venomous garbage you write if you did. What, huh, are you goimg to tell me "only my own kids" blah , blah, blah. You are a scab on society. You are liar, so this whole post is just so many more lies you are trying to foist on people. Go get a life. Bob | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:35:27 PM | Close bob, so close.
I am off the market, I am involved in a polyfidelity thing which no doubt will give certain posters more ammo to try to flame me with. One of these ladies is a single parent, and as I stated before because of the higher rate of negatives (by my personal criteria not a moral judgment here) and the potential for long lasting repercussions I WAS much more cautious than is normal for my personality type. Further the only bad relationship I personally have had with a single parent is with the mother of MY children, and I take full responsibility for that(she has no other kids other than mine for clarity btw)..... and even her or rather because of what it will mean to my kids I do wish her a healthy loving relationship that can be an example to our children.
I just feel it is foolish to ignore the many irresponsible parents that outnumber the responsible one, or to take indignation if you don't belong to that group. There is no reason to not discuss the negatives rationally with an eye toward helping make it easier for potential date to differentiate more easily, or heaven forbid to hold the ones that are acting in ways which reflect poorly on a group and unfairly paint some with the wrong brush. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/8/2008 8:50:29 PM | What silly as claims? I was stating examples of how easy it is to manipulate bias stats. At no point do I agree with any of those assertion, why else would I include that all single mothers are on welfare.
You are having a hissy fit because I don't agree with stats or is it because you're sensitive to the word emasculate ?
Blindly ignoring what facts? I'm fully aware the status of single mothers and believe in encouraging people not beating them with their mistakes. I don't believe segregating single mothers from the rest of the female or parenting population is productive. Making the children of mothers struggling with poverty feel like second class citizens and perpetuating the problem. It's easy to make assertions and judgments if you don't have to experience the cause and effect. It's easy to view stats and support them, if you don't have to see faces those stats will deflate. If you haven't had to boost up that young mother who had a child with a pedophile within a year of leaving foster care. Or watched a young offender disrespect his mother because after all she is only welfare scum, and wonder if society hadn't judged her so harshly would have her child and would he be on a better path.
You have suggested that feminist use shame, well right now you're using good old misogynist shaming! The suggestion that I'm included in that 80% does what? Is it meant to discredit me? Did you expect me to defend myself? Or be quiet before you put me down again?
Feminism has different levels just as capitalism does, liberal feminism differs very much from radical feminism as it does from conservative feminism. I do not agree with radical or conservative feminism because it is filled with inequality, the manifesto is the theory of feminism corrupted by personal agenda. Liberal feminism pushes the belief all people deserve equal treatment regardless of gender.
I have no idea what the looking for is referring to. Unless you have personalized my comments about how the person who posted the "men are narrow minded" is just another whiner. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/8/2008 9:02:06 PM | Johne
I still think this is your fantasy world, where you can elevate yourself at the expense of single mothers.
And if you really have dated women looking for money, what does that say about you?
Why are these type of women drawn to you and what type of selection process did you use when picking to date them?
And I read the whiners post about narrow minded men and commented. I'm curious how much cutting and pasting do you do in a night? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/8/2008 9:32:58 PM |
You are having a hissy fit because I don't agree with stats
Then provide a logical rebuttal instead of your own little "hissy fits"
Making the children of mothers struggling with poverty feel like second class citizens and perpetuating the problem.
And how does telling them "it is everyone else fault, no you poor thing you don't need to work hard to pull yourself up" supposed to help the situation? Did you miss the part where I stated I would gladly support re-training programs aimed at eliminating these problems....atleast for those willing to also help themselves? Seriously it seems you go looking for offense where there is none. The trademark of radical and gender feminists, even though you claim to subscribe to the only sane form of feminism (liberal) in existence.
You have suggested that feminist use shame, well right now you're using good old misogynist shaming!
Oh for christ sakes grab a dictionary and look up the word misogyny. I have no problem with women, just with people that refuse to be accountable for themselves. Gender doesn't even enter into it.
Or watched a young offender disrespect his mother because after all she is only welfare scum, and wonder if society hadn't judged her so harshly would have her child and would he be on a better path.
So "young offenders" now are created by people not wanting to take the risks associated with single parents that are not at a point in their life where they are able to look after themselves. It has nothing to do with parenting ability...... by your claim all welfare mothers children should be "young offenders" rather than a mix of little deviant buggers and well adjusted kind-hearted kids, and the "good" kids are a fluke rather than the product of a caring involved parent or two? Give credit where credit is due lady and hold accountable those actually responsible.
The suggestion that I'm included in that 80% does what? Is it meant to discredit me?
Again looking for offense where there is not, I merely pointed out how odd it is to take so personally things which by your own claims do not impact on you in anyway.
Feminism has different levels just as capitalism does, liberal feminism differs very much from radical feminism as it does from conservative feminism.
Liberal feminists don't see a need for 3 people to pay child support for one kid. If I recall they are the "equal opportunity not forced equal outcome" camp and would hold the mother 50% responsible for the child just as the father should be. But you've already said you would never speak out against such an injustice(since it affects mostly men). How quickly your tune would change if your children were to have less because you had the misfortune of a relationship with a gold-digging single father.
Now I'll have to scroll back re: the narrow minded comment, perhaps I have misinterpreted something myself. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/8/2008 10:09:08 PM |
Canoegirl complained in a thread once about high rents where she lives (I agree with her rental rates in her city are crazy) however the point is that there is something called supply and demand that feeds this sort of thing if the landlords were finding it tough to find someone to rent to they would lower the rates, but when there are 8 people trying/wanting to rent the same place the landlord can be as picky as they want and charge as much as they want. If single mom's really are in such demand why is it that almost every week a new thread gets started by a single mom asking why men will not date them? If they truly were in a great situation they would be in high demand to the point they would not be single very long. The truth is when you are a single parent and when you date a single parent it can be very complicated and there are issues that are not there if you date a childless person. Some people just want to see themselves as the greatest thing to the opposite sex when in fact they may be a great person but their situation is not desirable to many people. Yes John I did, but I did it in the appropriate thread. I and a number of others were upset to have increases which would in some cases double our rents. It is nice that they are starting to come down. But when you think that a person with a great job and decent income lives with the fear of not being able to make next months rent because it has gone from 1200/mth to 2500/mth can be scary. To me this is old fashion greed on the landlord's part. Yes supply and demand plays a part but so does the greed. I apologize for going off topic. That is not the only thread you have followed me to is it John.
I am curious, how would you know what the truth of being a single parent is John? You're not a parent. How can you sit and tell someone "how it is" when you have no clue? When dating, things are usually only complicated if you let them be or make them be. If you are always a pessimist, then everything is complicated for you. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/8/2008 11:22:17 PM | Stats can be manipulated. Was this survey completed by in personal interview, telephone or written submission? What was the economic status of the sample? The age range? All these factors play a part. I worked in public service long enough to know gov't departments and agencies normally fund studies if they have an agenda, usually the agenda is too seek more funding by proving they are needed.
What makes you think I don't believe people are accountable for their actions? Because I have compassion for those who are less capabilities then myself. I believe it's the responsibility of the strong to help the weak. I'm not stating all single mothers are weak but there is obviously a number who need empowerment. There are enough people in society telling them they are not good enough, how would me providing more negative reinforcement be helpful?
How am I asserting all children of welfare mothers will be young offenders and the men who don't want to date them are the problem? I'm providing an example of how negative stereotypes play a role in the dysfunction of some parent/child relationships. If a community supports a parent of a challenged child, they tend to get better results.
That 80% was meant to offend, at least have the convict to admit to it. When did I state it doesn't effect me? It does effect me, one of my sons has special needs, I'm in the process of moving him into an assisting living residence when he turns 18, every time a social worker interviews us, they ask me if my children all have the same father and what my source of income is.
You assume I support a parent seeking support from a non-biological parents, you're making an assumption based on what? In Canada the gov't was the one who passed legislation to force non-biological parents to pay support, I wonder what statistical study they used to justify it? I don't even seek support from my ex-husband. I believe a parent is responsible for their child without the expectation of support from the other biological parent. This does not mean I don't believe in the traditional family, I would have liked very much if my ex husband and I could have provided it for my sons but sh*t happens.
Since I don't believe in living common law and am not ready to share my home life with anyone, a gold digger is not an issue.
I didn't call you a misogynist, I said you were using good old misogynist shaming.
Actually I referenced how Revenue Canada is screwing over single parents (mostly fathers but I didn't want to be gender bias) who share custody and pay support. I don't have a problem stating when a man is being treated unfairly, unless it's a self imposed problem.
If my intent was to be offensive, it would be well articulated and directed. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 12:13:04 AM |
Yes Johne, my dating pool maybe smaller, but Im happy with that. I wouldnt want men in my dating pool that wont accept me for who I am and what I am.
You may rule them out of your dating pool, but that doesnt mean you haveto be so rude to them.
I remember you saying that you would love to have kids one day. But most women your age already have kids and alot of them wont want anymore. So doesnt that mean that your dating pool gets smaller too?
Are you choosing to ignore this question again Johne? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 2:10:44 AM | Ok, Johne, lets give you a scenario here.
I am refusing to date you because you have cerebal palsy. I think you are going to take me for every penny I earn because you cant work/afford to live the life you want to. And I am going to say that women dont want to date a man with cerebal palsy. Now then, doesnt that hurt just a little bit???
Smuggler, you are a veteran on this thread, you have made your views very clear time and time again. This gets very boring. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 3:24:41 AM |
If single mom's really are in such demand why is it that almost every week a new thread gets started by a single mom asking why men will not date them?
I dunno....why are there so many threads like this:
Nice guy
Bad Boy
BBW
Sex on the first date
No sex and it's been 3 months
Women with breasts in their profile pics
People with children in their profile pics
Why do men...
Why do women...
Come on already. You act threads like these are something you must single handedly stop in the name of all that is good and holy, and that single moms are people you must single handedly 'knock down a peg or two'. You say you don't mind if someone doesn't date you because of your CP, but honestly, it kind of looks like you're angry about it and trying to go down the food chain and bully someone else. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 4:00:48 AM | I have a three year old son and know exactly where you are coming from.
Most men make a mad dash to the loo never to be seen again the minute I mention I am a mother. The thing is, the age we are living in at the moment, there are more single parents than not and if a man can't have you with your child/children then they are not worth bothering about at all.
I know it is frustrating but your children come first and to be honest I find it quite shallow for someone not to date you because you have a child.
Each to their own though and I don't know what I would do if the situation was reversed but I don't think a three foot person should scare men away. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 6:16:16 AM | Well first I do not have a law behind me to force a woman to care for me if she marries me just becaise I am disabled. Can you point to any post where I bash anyone that says they will not date someone with a disability? Can you? No you can't..we all have choices.
Yes my dating pool is smaller and I accept that, no problems there at all....single moms should accept their dating pool ois smaller. If you live in Canada it is in part because of the laws we have...you want to change the image of what a single mom is....well fisrst stop bashing men who will not date single moms, if you live in Canada write to your government officials, lobby groups and tell them only biological or adoptive paents should pay child support.
If you are all so diferent from the bad apples show it rather than just complain on these threads about it. From my perspective if you defend the position, you suport the position and if you support more than one person paying to support a child they did not create or adopt you are part of the problem. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 6:39:07 AM |
If you are all so different from the bad apples show it rather than just complain on these threads about it. From my perspective if you defend the position, you support the position and if you support more than one person paying to support a child they did not create or adopt you are part of the problem. It seems to me you're still not reading or understanding what anyone on this thread has been writing John. Most of us have not complained that you don't want to date us. That part is in your imagination. We do show that we are different. Everyday. The thing is, most people accept us for who we are...women (who just happen to have children). You are the one that feels we need to prove something. We don't. But what we are complaining about is this attitude of contempt that you have and it's not just for single mothers. It's towards women in general. You have no respect. If someone defends themselves against insults, it does NOT mean that we support being called those insults. That's a very twisted logic there John. But it is your view and your welcome to it. You have also read post after post of people stating that they are against multiples paying support for a child. You've just chosen to ignore those comments though because it's more fun for you to inflame and instigate conflict. Do you feel proud of yourself for this? I hope you're getting some kind of cheap thrill from this because it's the only thrill your going to get (for a very long time) if you keep to this spiteful yet very ignorant (as in no knowledge of) attitude. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 6:55:12 AM |
Feminism has different levels just as capitalism does, liberal feminism differs very much from radical feminism as it does from conservative feminism. I do not agree with radical or conservative feminism because it is filled with inequality, the manifesto is the theory of feminism corrupted by personal agenda. Liberal feminism pushes the belief all people deserve equal treatment regardless of gender.
Ive read your posts before... dont usually have much to say about your position... but then I read this....
If, as you say, "Liberal feminism pushes the belief all people deserve equal treatment regardless of gender" Then why is it that Women get handed the right to vote, and in some states, the privelege to a drivers license and opportunity for student aid?? But men are expected to sign up for the draft.... under stiff penalty of $25000 fines, and/or up to 5 years in prison, as well as NOT getting the right to vote, or as I said, in some states, no drivers license or studen aid...
Please explain to me how that is Equal........ | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:02:40 AM | | Again with the blah, blah, blah. Of course you wouldn't bash on disabilities, you have one. At the same time these women have children, that isn't a disability, it is a life style choice. As for threads, there are 40 or 50 started every day for every reason in the rainbow. Not to mention, there are new people joining every day. Sometimes they look at the old threads, sometimes they just post their own story. Is it just you who should be the arbitor of what new threads are acceptable. I guess we should have 2 lonely hearts, 2 relationships, 18 johne hates single moms and 24 laws of canada and you'd be soooo happy then. Grow up, it's like all the lies you tell on here, your delusional. I know your lying, you have a testimonial from a single mom who dated you, you say your dating one now, so your lying when you say you won't date them. You lied about the thread in post 287whatever. Johne face it, YOU LIE, Bob | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:11:48 AM | | polyfidelity is where a person or group of persons agrees to be sexual only within that group. Sort of open marriage between 4 or 6 or 8 people kind of thing. That is what I believe it is anyway. Bob | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:17:11 AM | Bob your frustration with the John thing is starting to look a little fanatical.
And as much as I and others have enjoyed some of the wisdom you have regailed us with, I am starting to wonder about you myself.
As far as your view, let's be honest it is just your view on things and is not truly indicative of society on the whole but one has to question why it is that posts about these subjects are coming in from all over the world.
That in itself would make one wonder if we are truly an advanced society at all.
There was a post in another thread that opened my eyes about the history of families/marraige and the transitions and original purposes of that institution.
But these questions are being raised from many walks of life and unfortunately we are all very misguided when it comes to what is real and what is a forced upon social construct.
I liken johnes repetitiveness and his naysayers to that of the original struggle for womens' rights. I would think that if it wasn't for persistance those changes would not have happened.
Why is it that you feel the need to defend the ladies when you can see that us guys are being slagged left and right to where websters dictionary is going to add deadbeat dad and sperm doner to it's next edition and you say nothing?
Why not take the high road and just ignore him instead of getting all emotional ?
Let it go, you'll live longer. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:20:36 AM |
polyfidelity is where a person or group of persons agrees to be sexual only within that group. Sort of open marriage between 4 or 6 or 8 people kind of thing. That is what I believe it is anyway. Bob
yuck. But oh well whatever floats his boat. Ta for explaining it to me. | |
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