|
|
|
|
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:40:41 AM | Kidding, I hate to admit there is some truth in what you say. I guess what happens in my mind and probably most on here is that when we ignore him, he escalates to more and more outrageous lies and insults. When it reaches boiling someone (lately me) just lashes out. I apolgize to the group and will do better in this regard.
As to your other points, you are right, it is a world wide problem as posted in UK, Australia, Canada and USA. The thing is though, if talking it out to some degree on here helps, aren't we all better off to try? Now with regard to deadbeat dad and sperm donor. I'm sure there are equally offensive female nouns being added. More to the point is the saddness one must feel about our society that finds it OK to use such terms about each other. I know there are a goodly number of men who deserve the title DD, but I'm sure there are a number who get this title, when all that happened is they lost a good paying job and had to live hand to mouth for a while. As they say "justice is blind" and unfortunately lawyers are expensive, so straightening out a mess like that may not always be possible. Now that does not excuse a man who fathers a child and does not see to that child's needs either the best he can or as the court decrees. There are sooo many inequities in the system and politicians just forge blindly ahead without corrections saying "that is good enough for now". Bob | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 10:25:14 AM | Ive read your posts before... dont usually have much to say about your position... but then I read this....
If, as you say, "Liberal feminism pushes the belief all people deserve equal treatment regardless of gender" Then why is it that Women get handed the right to vote, and in some states, the privelege to a drivers license and opportunity for student aid?? But men are expected to sign up for the draft.... under stiff penalty of $25000 fines, and/or up to 5 years in prison, as well as NOT getting the right to vote, or as I said, in some states, no drivers license or studen aid...
Please explain to me how that is Equal........
Am I personally responsible for people rights being voilated? lol
Who made the rules regarding the draft? I'm pretty sure it was men, women have had to fight for the right to have full participation in the military.
You're an intelligent man, you must already know the risks of sending women into a war. So I think the answer your looking for is why women are more valued then men in this instant. Lets see because no other species or gender can carry a human fetus, naturally delivery and breastfeed. If women didn't have this ability I suspect the gender would have been near extinction a few times in history. It could also lay in the fact men inherently protect women. Even at a young age my sons were protective of me from men who gave me lustful looks. They were not socialized to be protective, it was inborn in them.
I don't live in a fantasy world where equality means we are the same. Men and woman are meant to compliment each other not compete. I deserve the same respect as citizen of Canada as any man but that doesn't mean I can fill his roles. I cannot teach my sons how to be men, I have no idea what it is like to be man. I will never be as physically strong or want to be as a man. I will never know how a man feels when is attracted to a woman or the hurt a man feels when betrayed. So many things I will never truly understand because I don't have chemistry of a man. Obviously the same applies to men, they will never really understand women.
I'm fully aware that the empowerment of girls over the last 20 years has been prioritized leaving our boys behind. The problem lies not in the empowerment of girls but the lack of empowerment in boys. The inequity has created only increased the differences in genders, increasing negative gender specific mores.
I know how evil some women can be but to focus on the negative vs setting a positive role model does what? Within the same lines of thinking, would that mean I should hold all men accountable for the ones who have wronged me? Some people are bad, it has nothing to do with gender.
Why are women handed the right to vote? Women had to fight for that right, just like we had to fight for the right to own land or right to be a member of Parliament.
Student aid for women? Because women who are educated are better for the economy, they are less likely have children at a young age and require social programs. Do you really believe that providing an education for women is strictly because feminist pushed for it. It's just a damn good business decision. | |
|
| |
Durken
|
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 2979 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 1:46:58 PM | | Since there are 120 pages and 2500 replies already.....can someone please start two separate but related topics on this...one for the men and one for the women, just like ask a guy; ask a girl, dating over 30; dating over 45. | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 1:47:18 PM | | Johne, you just dont get the irony do you? What does the term 'bash' mean in forum world, anyway? In the real world, there is a whole different thread for that! In actual fact, I notice that is majoratively men who are aggressive in their posts that use this term. Interesting! | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 3:11:14 PM |
Am I personally responsible for people rights being voilated? lol
Nope you're not personally responsible. But if you want to tout the feminist agenda, and say that everything is equal... show me where.
Who made the rules regarding the draft? I'm pretty sure it was men, women have had to fight for the right to have full participation in the military.
There were rules against letting women vote, letting them own property, letting them drive.... Who changed it, or pushed for the change?? I dont see any women lining up to get the laws changed, when it doesnt favor them... again, so much for the Equality part.
You're an intelligent man, you must already know the risks of sending women into a war.
Risks? Yeah, same flippin risks that Men face... and with the feminist mantra that women can do everything a man can do... I still fail to see the problem
So I think the answer your looking for is why women are more valued then men in this instant. Lets see because no other species or gender can carry a human fetus, naturally delivery and breastfeed. If women didn't have this ability I suspect the gender would have been near extinction a few times in history.
Ummm No. That is not the answer Im looking for... Im questioning why it is that women seem so interested in forcing themselves into competition with men. They want everything to be "equal" but in reality, the equality equation means, " In favor of women" . Like its been said... equality in all things, right until the check comes.
It could also lay in the fact men inherently protect women. Even at a young age my sons were protective of me from men who gave me lustful looks. They were not socialized to be protective, it was inborn in them. Oh really.. well, I think your feminist sisterhood would say thats chauvanistic. A woman doesnt need protection, she is equal to men... I've heard it before. Carefull, you may be raising chauvanists!
I don't live in a fantasy world where equality means we are the same. Men and woman are meant to compliment each other not compete.
Oh really... and yet you claim to be a feminist. How odd....
I deserve the same respect as citizen of Canada as any man but that doesn't mean I can fill his roles. Then please, enlighten me as to why so many feminists are in competition with men? If you cant do the job, then get out of the way. Dont make us dumb down the standards so you can apply.... thats not only dangerous, but stupid. Oh... but its exactly what we are doing.... Hmmmm
I cannot teach my sons how to be men, I have no idea what it is like to be man. I will never be as physically strong or want to be as a man. I will never know how a man feels when is attracted to a woman or the hurt a man feels when betrayed. So many things I will never truly understand because I don't have chemistry of a man. Obviously the same applies to men, they will never really understand women.
The one part of your statement that I completely agree with. But none the less, there are your feminist sisters, who believe that men are no better than a turkey baster...
I'm fully aware that the empowerment of girls over the last 20 years has been prioritized leaving our boys behind. The problem lies not in the empowerment of girls but the lack of empowerment in boys. And empowerment you mean?? why is it so funny when a pissed off girl, can knee her boyfriend in the groin, and everyone gets a laugh... but a pissed off man, slaps his girlfriend, and suddenly everyone screams they're advocating violence against women. You can try to paint the picture however you would like, truth of the matter is there are examples of your "empowerment" of girls/women... at the expense of boys/men. Again, where is the "equality" that you speak of?
The inequity has created only increased the differences in genders, increasing negative gender specific mores. I dont understand this at all....
I know how evil some women can be but to focus on the negative vs setting a positive role model does what? Im not focused on the negative. Bringing out the fact that womens negative behavior exists, instead of telling me that it doesnt, is not "focusing" on it... It says that I see it, I know it... would you care to explain it...??
Within the same lines of thinking, would that mean I should hold all men accountable for the ones who have wronged me? Some people are bad, it has nothing to do with gender. You can hold men accountable, if you like. But you're now trying to tell me that if you have a bad run in with a Harley Biker, your not going to be a bit hesitant about the next guy who approaches you... who just may be another biker...
Why are women handed the right to vote? Women had to fight for that right, just like we had to fight for the right to own land or right to be a member of Parliament. In the US... What Fight?? Tell me exactly what you had to do?? Because here, Men have to sign up for the draft BEFORE we get that right. Women dont. Hence, they get it handed to them.
Student aid for women? Because women who are educated are better for the economy, they are less likely have children at a young age and require social programs. Oh really... So once again, equality means anything but equal. Once again, Men dont get the same luxury of student aid, unless they sign up for the draft...
Do you really believe that providing an education for women is strictly because feminist pushed for it. It's just a damn good business decision.
I think that feminists have pushed for EQUALITY, except when it comes to them putting forth the same commitment. You want to make it about a sound business decision, go ahead. I couldnt agree with you more... But it should be spread EQUALY across the board from men to women, women to men.
When the Women have to step up to the same responsibilities that men do, then we'll talk about equality. Until then, just know that you're getting things handed to you. | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 3:12:01 PM | With all due respect to Bob he did make a good point in his last post. One governments need to understand...government is part of the problem with their policies and the courts and legal system in many cases are not much better.
Okay let's say for example Canoegirl and I go to court to settle a despute of some sort. We make our arguements through our lawyers and a judge decides who wins and what (if any) compensation should be involved. Maybe we are both unhappy with the result as say Canoe wins but feels she should have got more momney. I am unhappy because I had to pay money. So we end up talking to our friends about it and posting on plenty of fish. Perhaps what might have been a better option is if we sat down and discussed our differences and came to an understanding. The pioint I am trying to make is that lack of communicattion can lead to many problems..problems which could easily be resolved if we would talk to each other in a reasonable fashion.
As an adult male I get tired of government making policies that I view as a detterrant to me dating Everything from changing alimony to how courts award child support.. When I write letters to politicians I get a form letter twelling me what the law is and that it is "in the best interests of the child" Okay fine. I have sent letters to female and parental lobby groups who responnd with a letter saying they are just lobbying to reflect what women and parental groups want. Okay fine. So basically these groups say they refelect society...so the only way to get change is to show you are not happy with something. I keep trying to do my part to change this. (Yes I know posting on here will change nothing.) As I have stated one way to protest is to not date or marry single moms...maybe then when fewer ex step parents are paying support governments might get the message. (I hope the parents get the message before government does.) as for any change to take place single parents have to help with the change.
I do not see my post as immature at all..rather if you research Mike Harris and his policies it is rather factual.
If we all remain silent we ignore the problem and approve status quo with our silence.
How do I know what it is like to date a single mom and how complicated it is? I dated one for 3 months..too much drama...as for my friend that posted on my tetamonials...we are friends nothing more nothing less. This is what frustrates me about some of these forums in general if you post an opinion you must hate an entire group..far from it..I do not hate women or single mothers...I just see certain things as unfair and as I have hit a brick wall with governments and lobby groups I have only one way to protest and you know what that is.
So why do those of you that live in Canada fight for social change...no one got anything change by just "sucking it up" and accepting status quo.
To those who live in the UK America or other countries if you want to date more simply get to know the other person and let them get to kow you. You do need to understand that not everyone is attracted to tall/fat/ skinny/married/single mom/single with no children or any other category a person could fall into. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 5:50:52 PM | I have to wonder what this thread really is. Is it truly a discussion on why some men don't like single mothers...or is it just a soapbox for both sides of this argument so we can spout off about all the ills of society?
If someone who just got plopped down here from another planet didn't have any human interaction and sat down and read this thread as a study guide, I wonder what their views of society would be when they finally walked out their front door after 120 pages of this garbage.
What would they expect? If it were me, I'd go out covering my head and averting the eyes of everyone I came across. | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 6:19:03 PM | I know it's off topic but it related to idea single mothers want more then they deserve.
Smuggler I don't have to show you anything. I'm free to believe what I want just as you are.
I'm not going to debate with you any further because words are cheap to you, you feel you can say whatever you wanted based on your experiences and have no regard for common respect.
I never said it was fair that men are drafted and women aren't, all I did was offer a theory on why. Since I'm Canadian the draft is not an issue for me.
You dislike the men who support the a women's right to respect and call them names suggesting they have female characteristics. Tell what is so wrong with being a women? | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 6:31:24 PM | Another day in paradise, as we continue the debate. Smuggler, I agree, Israel has the right idea. Draft men and women it is the right thing to do. But this country was put forth with different values and we did not have enemies on all sides. Nor people who said they would wipe us from the face of the earth.
Not that it is important, but I was raised by a single mom, I worked and rose to a high position in an industry that had zero women in 140 years. In fact with the exception of 2 1/2 years of WW2, we did not have a woman until 1969. As late as 1984, when I promoted a woman (the 7th in history) there were few. I was ostrizied for doing it for a period of time, as a result.
All of that is unimportant just a frame of reference. Life is not fair, to men or women no matter what anyone thinks. Is it fair that sports figures among men achieve earnings 3 times women. How many women do you see in advertisements of sports? Chastain, a couple of others. To argue equality would be a losing battle. Men would lose based on current(20th century)history.
More on point would be the battle on here. These women, as I see it(everyone feel free to disagree) seek not equality, but legitimacy. They have a bona fide claim to their ability to date as equals. If you choose, as is your right, not to date them, so be it. That does not negate their right to seek a relationship as much as any human being or man.
I think recognition as women, certainly as good and caring as any single woman is, is what they seek. Is it more complicated, yes, no doubt. Is it more risky, on paper to those that care to measure it that way probably. There are no hard and fast rules or risk tables that apply to the heart.
When you as a man meet a woman, that sets your soul free to soar to new heights, excite your loins, as well as your heart. When you can speak and connect on a mental level as well as a emotional one, does that not enthraul you? Trusting that you used a good selection process and discernment to learn who she was and what she stood for would you really allow yourself to turn away?
That is like people who hide for fear. Fear of rejection, religion, class or other myths. I cannot beleive one would forgo happiness or a great chance of it for fear. Life is far to short to live that way. Yes, you are right, I am something of a romantic, but better that than to live in a cave, or hide my heart in fear. My 2 cents, Bob | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 6:39:55 PM | ROFL...
Smuggler I don't have to show you anything. I'm free to believe what I want just as you are.
The mantra of a true feminist. Point out the flaws in thier logic, and the fact that they are given things, they dont earn them... And suddenly Im angry, and it clouds my judgment. Maybe it is your feminist judgement that is not only clouded... but WRONG.
You didnt offer a theory, but a hypothisis... once again, one that favors women.... So much for Equality... which is the point Im argueing... Its all slanted, and I dont see the feminists marching to change it because it favors them.
So, your arguement about equality is a moot point. There is no such thing.
You dislike the men who support the a women's right to respect and call them names suggesting they have female characteristics. Tell what is so wrong with being a women.
No... I dislike the men who consistently feel the need to circle the wagons, put on that shiny armor, brandish the swords and act like they are trying to gain acceptance... by showing how they are willing to defend the honor of the single mother. Especially when they ask a question, and dont like the answer.
I dont believe that Ive said anything disrespectful. I've pointed out the disjunction of some logic presented... as well as the ludicrous arguements. As well as added some basic facts that are readily apparent... Look outside your door.
There are deminished social values, family values, family structure... everything that used to be the "norm" because we dont want to hurt peoples feelings for stating the blantent errors in thier judgment or the Obviousness of the situation... Or the source of that seperation. | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:04:03 PM | | Do you believe I am trying to gain acceptance? I do not believe I have any armor. I believe that I am trying to walk a line between what I believe to be right and what seems to be an accepted norm, that is tainted by some limited experience and by accepted discrimination. If my own experience was the sole logic employed, you would have much to quarrel with me about. There are far more men who have not posted here, due entirely to the fact, they have come, met a SM, formed a meaningful relationship and left happily than those who have not. I do not choose to sway you, I only wish to say, look , think, open your mind to the possiblities. If after that you choose to say "not for me" go with God, my blessings and I'm fairly sure the blessings of these women. This still does not remove their right to seek the same as you, a meaningful relationship with a man, not one who does not want it. Bob | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 8:04:12 PM | Bob, Smuggler only understands personal gain as a motivation. That a man could defend single mothers for any reason other than to curry favor with them (and eventually get in their pants) is so far beyond his ken he can't even SEE a place to imagine it from. I recommend not even bothering with moderating his midlife-crisis-driven attempt to play the bad boy he so obviously envies. Okay, fine, it's also driven by his bitterness at one particular single mom he allowed to use him as a cheap doormat/ATM.
Smuggler, that you are unaware of women's fight to be ALLOWED to serve in the US military shows how deeply you've researched the topic. To wit, you haven't given it one second of thought before spewing your rhetoric. Grow up, do the work, and sound like something other than a spiteful scorned schoolboy.
 | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 8:12:58 PM | | how about single women who don't like to date single fathers? As in, the kids are a distraction. I delete their phone number whenever mention of my chidren get in their way of their long term ideals. If someone can't accept that then you got to tell them to get stepping. Don't be in a hurry for a guy to pick up a family as a package deal. You have to have much to offer him and yes, if he runs after second date, then saved you lots of dating time for someone who would be open for it. | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 8:52:12 PM | When the Women have to step up to the same responsibilities that men do, then we'll talk about equality. Until then, just know that you're getting things handed to you.
That is not disrespectful? I'm a single mother because the man I married cracked under the pressure of raising an autistic son. Many of the women who have children with similar needs as my son are divorced with no support from their former spouse, so allow me to LMFAO at your step up to the same responsibility statement.
I'm referred to at work as a ball busting dyke because I'm doing the same job my male colleagues do. And I got promoted because I was doing my boss not because I was qualified. I really should thank the professor who attempted to run me out of his program because he was going through a divorce and was bitter about single mothers. And wow those student loans at prime plus 2% that are offered to both genders only took me 10 years to pay off, thank god for hand outs!
My want for equality is based on life experience not some cheap rant in a forum. I could debate on what I perceive as faulty reasoning and misinformation but it serves no purpose since I have lost respect for you.
Have you ever considered the men who you say are circling the wagon and waiting to get some, might have daughters and take offense based on what they feel is right?
Wow I'm actually pretty freaking happy some men won't date single mothers! | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 9:11:37 PM | Hmm, the debate still rages on...
If you are all so diferent from the bad apples show it rather than just complain on these threads about it
hmmm, I believe that is what I have been trying to do this past month...but, what
we " got it together" single moms say seems to mean squat.
I got to thinking...I wonder if I should decide not to date single dads any longer because of MY bad experiences.
Both single dads I dated borrowed money from ME, never to return it.
But, perhaps I am must more enlightened then some as I realize the common denominator in both of those situations is me, not the fact that they had the label of "single dad"
and NO, once again, I have NO issues with a man not wanting to date me because I am a single parent. Judge away....
and btw, *I* am a single mother because my ex decided HE no longer wanted to work on our marriage. | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 9:38:48 PM | I've been taking a break from this thread, because quite frankly, I'm getting sick of it. Both sides are getting boring and repetitive. However a few notes.
John,
You seem to value money far too highly in my opinion. As long as you are willing to let money be your primary focus (which is the impression I'm getting based on your posts), you will miss out on the good things in life.
Ms. B and Smuggler,
Although this forum really isn't the place for the discussion, I have to agree with Smuggler's comments about the draft being not equal. The argument about women being the only ones who can bear children isn't really valid in this day and age. My personal opinion is that nobody should be forced to register for the draft.
All of you complaining about the "bad boys" that single mothers had children with,
this is yet another case of stereotyping. Yes, there are some women who chased the "bad boys" and are now single, but there are also single mothers who fell in love with one of the "good guys", got married, and had kids only to find that for some reason things didn't work out. This can be that they grew in different directions, that one partner was unfaithful to the other (even the "good guys" and "good girls" sometimes do bad things), that the stresses of life too their toll, or whatever. Please stop with the assumptions that if a woman is single with children, she must have chosen a "bad boy". This is insulting to the single mothers, and to non-custodial fathers as well.
For the record, I'm intelligent, I have no tattoos or piercings, I have never been arrested, suspended, expelled, etc., I do not drink, I do not do illegal drugs, and I'm an Eagle Scout. My ex is a single mother. Does this make me a "bad boy"? | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 9:39:47 PM | | Your wrong ms. B, because your venomous statement of distain does not help him to see the true spirit of what women are capable of being. It is truly unfotunate that you should endure protracted disrespect based on who you are. I cite the positives of life experience, I would never cite my true negatives, most of you couldn't handle it, and would detract from this thread. I am sorry for your experience with your son and with your husband. The weak are with us always, we the strong, must soldier on, showing the way to the misled both by experience and example. You guessed right, my daughters are my life, and I have taught them to depend on no one, or no man to make their lives complete. Show, lead, educate but don't denegrate another to get them where you seek to lead. Should you surrender the high ground, you can never take it back. Please try to think on this, before you respond, Bob | |
|
Durken
|
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 2997 | |
| |
Durken
|
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 2998 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 10:07:28 PM | Quirkyfishy,
"Both single dads I dated borrowed money from ME, never to return it."
I promise to pay you back at 12 months with no interest for the great sex cause I want new Titanium Pro golf clubs. (Joking:) | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 11:29:29 PM | humm its sad that we even talk about being a single parent but life happens im a single mom of 2 kids and when i say single there dad is no where to be found and its hard
for them but when it comes to dateing my kids love the idea of mom goen out on a date
as far as men dateing or wemon dating a single parent its cool just means there not selfish well thats how i belive i would love to find a single dad to hang out with date etc. | |
|
Durken
|
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 3000 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/9/2008 11:47:26 PM | Andrea,
We're many out there, just a few on here. It's like my Catholic Church's summer festival. C'mon out and greet each other, we're all a family looking for more good friends so it may just happen that we meet the single women or mom wanting the complete family too (haven't read your profile but would like to think you are). | |
|
|
| Page 120 of 140
|
100, 101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106, 107, 108, 109, 110, 111, 112, 113, 114, 115, 116, 117, 118, 119, 120, 121, 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 130, 131, 132, 133, 134, 135, 136, 137, 138, 139, 140 |
|
Home
login 
