zxczxc
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Joined: 12/6/2006
Msg: 301 | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 3/29/2007 11:31:34 AM | Maybe for the same reason that a large percentage of men who have children from previous relationships do not pay child support?
No commitment or value base to direct them away from selfish thinking. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 3/30/2007 10:19:19 AM | | I think a willingness to make and carry through on committments is the deciding factor. Men who date single women can entertain long-term relationships and marriage in the their thoughts without the material evidence of commitment inserting itself in their lives on a daily basis. If you date a women with children over a long period of time, you are admitting and accepting that you may come to play an important role in her childrens' lives. You may not assume a father role, but you will most certainly become an important and responsible friend. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 3/30/2007 11:33:23 AM | | Man that is rouh Darrellinocala. Nothing worse than being separated from your kid. I go nut just in the 12 days between the visits. Manthat sounds so wrong "visits"! A father relegated to visits. I never really thought about it that way in 11 years! Man that is like wham! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 3/30/2007 12:32:39 PM | I'm actually on the look out for single mothers! lol. I have a son of my own and I feel it would be easier to connect with a single mother for more common ground in the relationship. But even if I didn't have a son, it still wouldn't bother me. If I was interested, then it wouldn't matter how many kids she had. well.. lol within reason lol.
I would say that there not running away from the kids, there running away from the commitment, men who fear commitment and find out the girl there interested in has kids, it adds to the pressure they think they feel to commit. So in there heads, it's like this. "All right, this girl is awesome, but I don't know..commitment is scary, oh she has a daughter?? But i'm not ready to be a father? AHH.." lol Something like that. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 3/30/2007 4:47:46 PM |
There are so many responces it'd take a whole night to read all so going to respond to orgional poster. I am a Single mom of a 3 1/2 year old I left my now ex husband a little over a year and ago and while I feel I am ready to date I don't have a strong need to cause honestly I feel like you, So many men say they can handle it and turn tail or jump in to fast and don't understand as a single mom your are a balancing act full time and they have to understand It takes time. I think most of all I am just looking for a male friend who I can call on (not dirty like) and if it goes further fine if not no biggie. fishing sucks so I am trying to not worry about that just remember Fate has a way of letting two people meant for each other to meet and being active in all areas online and off just means better chance of bumping into each other sooner  | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 3/30/2007 4:54:38 PM | well it does go both way though.. when women find out i have a daughter, they turn tail and run.. i have no problem with accepting a woman's child/ren, and they expect me/n to take them as a package deal, but when the shoe is on the other foot, it's a different story.. they don't want to deal with the same "baggage/drama" that they have... for example, my current girlfriend has a daughter (22 and living at home) and i respect her daughter and try to stay out of her way most of the time (her daughter dislikes me b/c of the age difference, i'm 22, her mom is 44 and i am 29).. but she doesn't want to meet my daughter or spend time with us because my daughter is a toddler and does throw fits from time to time, and she "doesn't want to deal with it" because she "can't stand when kids scream and whine like that" ...
when i was not a father and single, i had nothing against dating women with children, but none were ever around for me to hit on (so to speak) .. but then again, that was back when i was a teenager and if you were a single mom, that meant you were over 20 (didn't go for the older woman back then) | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 3/30/2007 7:47:24 PM | When a woman has a child, her brain chemistry is permanently altered. That offspring (and all subsequently spawned) will always come FIRST in her mind. Until the day she dies, her first waking thought and last thought before bed will be the safety and welfare of her offspring. Now this is almost acceptible, if it were my own progeny. But I see no evolutionary advantage to investing my emotional resources in the mother of someone else's stock.
Furthermore once a woman breeds, it permanently reduces the level of affection that the man can possibly ever receive (even if the descendants are his own). Gone are the early days where undying inner-child love is professed, to be replaced with the burdensome adult responsibilities and toils of child rearing. Inevitably a percentage of all words spoken between the union of man, woman, and her previous litter, will comprise the topic of her scions.
Once the child birthing line is crossed, a backward step may ne'er be taken and innocence is lost forever. It will never be possible to recapture the passion and nervous expectancy that comes from a couple looking forward to their FIRST child together.
A man pays a heavy price for accepting a woman with kids. Of course, sometimes our situation in life requires that we compromise. Very often, a man can get a more attractive woman than otherwise would be possible by accepting a woman and her clutch.
Hence the term "baggage". | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 3/30/2007 7:49:04 PM | I am a single dad to a 10 year old son . You see that problem the other way also .Before having any kids I did date a few single mothers. I didnt have a problem with it . Now that I have a son of my own who lives with me ,it seems that you cant find a woman with no kids that will go out with you if they find out you have a kid that lives with you. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 3/31/2007 11:54:38 PM | It's a good test of character if a man is interested in you, once he knows you have children...
All of our children are unique and special and if he/she (single man or woman) is up for the challenge of developing a relationship with that special person then all the power to them!
Myself, I'm protective of my children...my oldest son is a handful, but he's my handful...he has health issues that make parenting a real challenge at times, but I've grown so much from it and I now have all the patience in the world!!
If nothing else, one can learn alot from single parents!!! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 5/29/2007 8:45:17 PM | Having a child with a man you love is a wonderful thing. It shoudn't matter if the woman is already a mother. The fact that you are carrying a baby of the man you love should be the most wonderful experience. I know that's how it would be for me, if I ever find the "Right man" who want to do it ALL . But again I do not need to marry just to have a child. I would have to be completely hopelessly in love first.. LOL
I do not believe that " Once the child birthing line is crossed" that you would never again "recapture" the passion and nevous expectancy .. after you you are having your FIRST CHILD TOGETHER....
The Author- thevinn is a definately a MAN... :-) | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/21/2007 12:36:41 PM | To the OP I'd like to say be glad that your only single with one child. The more children that you have the more limited your prospects are, I have 4 myself. There are men out there though that don't mind a group like this, just takes alot more  to actually find this special breed of man.
Also I think another issue that a young woman with multiple kids like myself runs into is that some people automatically assume that you spent your younger days hoeing around and that your multiple kids all have different fathers, that just simply is not always true but could be a thought that might keep some from making contact. I've seen plenty of posts scattered around, not just here, about that very issue with there being 3,4, more kids with 2,3,4, more fathers and I think it's become somewhat of a stereotype of young women with multiple kids. Oh well, I guess we all have some sort of stereotype or another that we could be thrown under.
All us parents be it male or female will eventually find the right one, and when they do come along then  | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/21/2007 5:04:55 PM | NCAlliecat makes a great point.
I can't answer why guys up and run at the sight of a woman with kids, but maybe it's because they are immature and want the woman all to himself so that she can baby him? Just a guess..... | |
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Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 318 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/21/2007 5:08:13 PM | there is lots of reasons why a man might not like single mothers.
It could be fear of being responsible for a large family.
It could be complicated and to challenging for some men.
It could be financial reasons. The more kids the more expensive it is.
It could be a man may want to have his own kids and she wont or cant.
There are many reasons. It is called preferences too. Just like some women prefer a tall man to a short one.
I for one prefer a single mom but not with several kids. | |
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Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 320 | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/21/2007 5:20:46 PM | Well, the reality is that as you head into your 30's the odds of dating someone who has never married and has no kids is greatly decreased, so you are best to date pple in their 20's or even teens! LOL!
Why is it so much harder dating in your 30's? | |
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Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 322 | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/21/2007 5:22:07 PM | i hear you on this .. i've had the same problem. as soon as i mention that i am a single mother with full custody - they run. they either think that i'll never make time out for us or that i'm looking for a "replacement" ..
please. yes, i do work a full time job and yes i am a full time mother but i'm almost the same thing as a married full time mother with a full time job - only i'm missing a husband. i can make the sacrafices to meet someone great - someone worth my time. it's just that - is there any left out there?
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Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 324 | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/21/2007 5:24:55 PM | Holy Moly, can I relate to you wildrose13. Except for the part about having full custody. I have joint but my ex has her only 1 night a week which doesn't leave me too much time to myself. But I manage..... | |
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