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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/22/2008 4:50:40 PM | Oh Johne, I will take it up once more the weary task of explaining my role and other perspectives you miss even in your own post. I am supporting there rights to be seen with respect. There right as is anyone on POF to seek a relationship with another human being. They are not damaged goods to be placed on a discount rack, they are only single men/women with children who seek the same as all here.
You have no friends among single moms on pof. If you have acquaintances who are single moms, it is because they do not read these forums or see the bias and hateful things you have said about them. No friend, I repeat, NO FRIEND would ever imply, describe, alledge or insult that friend as you have. You have repeatedly grouped en masse, the whole of single motherdom with blanket statements, lies and innuendos. So if they are single mothers, since all are guilty, by all but a very few of your statements then so are these alledged friends.
No one is asking for or ever asked for special consideration. They have all asked repeatedly for respect. Some of that group have asked for compassion, some also asked for understanding or also to understand. No one ever asked to be considered special.
Finally Johne with regard to yourself, no one, no single mom, on this thread or any of the 16 others you have posted on will date you, would want to date you, will try to date you or even so much wants contact with you in any way, shape or form. Frankly Johne after all you have said I would bet they would rather set themselves on fire than to be in the same room with you, to speak bluntly. While not dating them does not make you a loser or anything else for that matter, except to say you have preferences. Some of your harsher statements, lies and rants does make you a loser or worse.
In conclusion, we know your views, you have repeated them to many times to count. Since that is the case, and you won't date them and they won't date you. What could possibly be a reason for you to keep posting here? Speaking only for myself since you obviously fail to see what we have repeatedly said and there being no way to reach you I will now choose to ignore your posts. Since there is no point in responding. Bob | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/22/2008 6:29:06 PM | OK, let me start by saying that the personal attacks and insults are beneath us all, so I will choose not to address those at all.
jlm6631,
I will address some of what you said, because I think it is worth discussing.
As far as the kudos for single parents, most of us are not seeking kudos at all. We are simply seeking to avoid disrespect. Hopefully, you can appreciate the distance. It think Ms. B. said it well:
We don't want kudos, we want respect. Most of us disagree with the assertions made by some single people without children because they regard our children as a mistake and the cause for us being single.
Many of your posts seem to show a disrepect for single parents. While you may not desire our lifestyle, hopefully you can show us common respect (and hopefully others can show you the same courtesy).
In fact, you said:
So you can think I am pretentious as you want but I just wanted to know why my choice is being disrespected yet you demand respect for yours.
In my opinion, nobody should be disrepsected for their choice to either have or not have children. However, I find you classification of doing things the "right" way to be very judgemental and disrespectful. If you intend to be disrepectful, then you do not deserve my respect in return; if you do not intend to be disrepectful, please keep this in mind in your future posts.
(In regards to the post saying that your point of view isn't valid because this topic is about single men and single mothers, I completely disagree. The majority of my posts have dealt with how I feel as a single father, so I appreciate your point of view even if I don't agree with it.)
But I found the attitudes here of the people that do not want to date people with kids just ignorant.
I would agree that the vast majority of the posts explaining why someone wouldn't date single parents to be ignorant, and have (unsuccesfully) tried to bring logic and reason to this discussion.
I wanted to know why men with kids contact me even though I don't want anything to do with them.
The short answer to this is that they are idiots, they did not read your profile, they are overly optimistic, or that they feel that they are "different" somehow. I will in no way justify their behavior. I will point out that I have seen many posts in many threads where people complain that those who contact them do not read or pay attention to their profiles. I can understand your frustration, but please don't take it too personally; whether online or in person, whether male or female, whether young or old, many people in this world are stupid and, ignorant, and/or inconsiderate.
As far as your comments about not contacting people who post preferences that you don't match, I generally agree. For instance, if somebody posts in their profile that they are looking for a black man, I won't bother contacting them. However, if they post that they are looking for somebody that matches about 10 different qualifications, and I match and/or am very close on 8 or more, I might take the chance that I'm close enough.
It makes me disregard your opinion since you do not have the tact nor the couth to post in an intelligent and mature fashion.
Since I have chosen to address you with respect and reason, hopefully you will not disregard my post. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:07:59 PM |
men cannot face being a father,if they do not have chidren, i have found that out really fast on here.
It is posts like yours that gives single moms a bad name and feeds into the assumptions and perceptions that some already have about us...
Thanks for furthering the cause.  | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:14:57 PM |
men cannot face being a father,if they do not have chidren, i have found that out really fast on here.
Ugh!
And I've got news for you..what is on here mostly, isn't a representation of the real world. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/22/2008 7:57:59 PM |
men cannot face being a father,if they do not have chidren, i have found that out really fast on here.
This person's profile would be, in my opinion, the opposing view... and really damaging for those single mothers who have no desire to be rescued or taken care of for the rest of their lives. Ah well.
(and Smuggler, Ducati-whatever *is* a fvcktard. Are you sure you want to circle your wagons up with someone like that?)  | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/23/2008 7:24:37 AM |
I want to get married someday! and i want the man to take care of me and my kids),i want love and romance,i want to be spoiled and in return i will spoil my man, what dose it take to get a man to love me for who i am not what i look like.
Imagine that. LOL... Truth in ADVERTISING? Although, if the "man" she finds is there to take care of her and her kids, Im not sure where the reciprocated "spoiling" is going to come into play... How odd...
Here is one that would prove the point many say just isnt true. GRANTED... its just ONE! I get it. But it does lend credence to everything you ladies seem to be fighting against... Quirky seems to have caught it, and called her out on it!
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| WHAT???? This one sure does!
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:24:49 AM | Now, I may be selective, and their ages and personality types matter, but I WOULD PREFER SINGLE MOTHERS, especially among women near my age or older.
If a woman is near my age says she never wanted children, something is wrong in my view.
But if a woman has kids it's another way to know what kind of person she is through motherhood. Does she take care of her kids? --for starters... If she doesn't have custody...eww? If she shares them with a good father that's great!
Being a single parent is a very hard thing to do in life, I sure look up to most single parents.
Besides, a woman who is nurturing is very very attractive. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/23/2008 9:38:34 AM | Like everything else there are not total absolutes. My last marriage she had 5 children. One of which I adopted and she is now completing her 4 th year in college. I have 5 natural children but count them all as my kids. The biological part of being a parent is easy if you have the right parts. Loving a child and caring as an adult is a matter of depth of the heart.
If a guy reels at the prospect you have a child , walk away and don't , look back. He is most likely self centered and shallow, or something like that. Kudos for you being a good parent. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/23/2008 10:49:50 AM | jlm says: Well yeah I kinda was. If that was not a personal attack on me then what was it? It was a specific response to a specific person. Why not attack him for what he said to me. Ah... guess it is okay when he is in agreement huh. He called me a slut more or less. I called him a moron. Don't like it. Don't care! If you are going to make personal attacks then don't expect me to be nice.
I missed that someone called you a slut. I don't feel that is fair. I don't know you and whomever said that doesn't either. From my perspective it seems through your posts you don't like kids or single mothers. That was the feeling I got from your posts..there have been other posters here who happen to be male where I got that same feeling. They are not interested in dating me and that is okay too because I am not looking for them either.
It was the tone and your not the only one who feels this way. I just feel it is even more insulting when a woman attacks another woman. Women have got be better at supporting each other rather then feeling there is competition to be had. It rubs me the wrong way when I see women attacking each other or disrespecting each other. Even more so then when a man does it to a woman. Through history we have discovered women have made leaps and bounds for progress. There is alot more to gain. When they stop competing for attention ripping each other and pull the claws in and be supportive of one another. Women working together instead of against. We might find common ground. Even though the choices and decisions are on different paths no one has the right to say another chose the wrong path. It is just wrong.
A joke is a joke...this thread needs lightning up sometimes and there is only so much back and forth one can take without throwing one in ...really. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/23/2008 1:42:56 PM |
I just feel it is even more insulting when a woman attacks another woman. Women have got be better at supporting each other rather then feeling there is competition to be had. It rubs me the wrong way when I see women attacking each other or disrespecting each other. Even more so then when a man does it to a woman. Through history we have discovered women have made leaps and bounds for progress. There is alot more to gain. When they stop competing for attention ripping each other and pull the claws in and be supportive of one another. Women working together instead of against. We might find common ground. Even though the choices and decisions are on different paths no one has the right to say another chose the wrong path. It is just wrong.
So are you then suggesting stifling freedom of having ones opinion...the right to express and debate an opinion that perhaps would not conform with your own?
There are guys here who do not agree with each other and have little problem calling each other out and sometimes resorting to hostile name calling.
It really is a shame that you feel woman are so fragile or unable to be called to task for some of the opinions that another woman might express. And yet you see it even worse when a man does it to a woman. So are you saying that woman are so weak or unable to take a little criticism that they need protection?
Yes woman have made great strides.....but so have others....and I would suggest that in making those strides forward those individuals were able to stand on their own two feet and debate their opinions and also take a little criticism when an opposing view tells them they are perhaps an idiot. But then there will always be those who feel the need to hide behind something. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/23/2008 2:50:56 PM |
When you can’t respond reasonably you resorted to name calling. Now that’s a mature and intelligent trait. And you were saying that the other poster was defensive. The tone of your responses and innuendos are enough to insult and put people down.
Canoe::: I will suggest that I have never seen once you resort to the name calling or personal attacks on a posters credibility or intelligence.......but it has been done numerous times by specific woman and you did not make the same suggestion or observation. Was that selective or simply an oversight?
No one said jlm couldn't post. What they asked was why did she grace us with her presence.
I love the fact that she has graced herself in our presence. But unlike one who suggest all woman should ban together for the greater good of woman kind.....regardless of the morality or common sense.....this woman seems to stand on her own two feet and is not looking for handouts...or another person to feed and care for her.
Yet youth......and early adult life allows certain individuals special considerations and or allowances based on their physical looks as opposed to their abilities....
Where Bobbie is still...LOL.....sorry Bob...could not resist...still tantalizing and inducing woman to drool with his rugged good looks.....
But life has a means of changing things....as the waist line increases.....the 6 pack becomes the beer for the night.......and some woman's prize self image heads south unless they have cast iron support......I always love looking at a woman's profile and counting how many pics have their cleavage or boobs front and centre. I of course have little interest in those woman other than perhaps as a person with benefits...
But then there is that adage...if you have it flaunt it? So perhaps my comments are based on the sagging or expanding butt and waistline as I grow older? or perhaps the truth that I never had it? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/23/2008 2:56:44 PM |
Loving a child and caring as an adult is a matter of depth of the heart.
If a guy reels at the prospect you have a child , walk away and don't , look back. He is most likely self centered and shallow, or something like that. Kudos for you being a good parent.
Wow... Just when ya think its safe to go back into the water... we get a woman who blatently states in her profile "I want a man to take care of me and my kids" Sinking the ship with one torpedo.... !
Great example of someone passing judgment, and yet again we have another guy who feels the need to turn tail on his own gender.... Another SK...
LOL.....
Self Centered and Shallow... dont forget Judgemental, Arrogant, Rude, Self-preserving, Inconsiderate, Detached.... what are the other things Ive heard women say... Oh.. but this is coming from another man... hmmm
Well there DR... Ya got company now! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/23/2008 3:19:04 PM |
Canoe::: I will suggest that I have never seen once you resort to the name calling or personal attacks on a posters credibility or intelligence.......but it has been done numerous times by specific woman and you did not make the same suggestion or observation. Was that selective or simply an oversight?
Westpark2, I wish that this was true however, I have in past posts on this thread resorted to name calling out of shear frustration. I know that is no excuse but it is an explanation. I know how people can get bent out of shape and resort to it. However, usually it's after being in on the discussion for a while, not right off the get go. There is only one poster who I have attacked their credibility and intelligence and I hate to admit this, but I don't regret that as I still believe as others do, that he is full of BS and lives in his own little fantasy land. As to not making any of the same suggestion or observation to other posters (or women), I have. You've either missed them or just skimmed over them. If a few pass without my commenting on them, it's because I've been gone for a while or the flow of the thread lead away from it and there was no reason for me to jump on the band wagon to flame someone. It wouldn't have really contributed and would have backtracked over to something that in most likelyhood should just simply be forgotten. I'll try to do better next time... | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/23/2008 3:21:23 PM | Wow, deep deeep discussion. Here's from my viewpoint. I am a full time single dad (24/7/365). I am also in my 40's. So, most women my age seem to stay away from me because they are "empty nesters". I would love to find a single mom , with a child about my son's age (6). This would be most beneficial to all but, it doesn't seem to work that way. So, we bought a Harley ... LOL.  | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/23/2008 3:37:36 PM | So maybe if I did not risk legal liability should I marry and divorce a single mom I might date one.
Why do many (not all but many) single moms expect the man to be near perfect? Such a man does not exist.
Why does the man have to be the provider, rescuer and the one who spoils you and (someone else's) children? It hardly seems fair...what is in it for the man?
I heard a co-worker at work today who is a single mom complain about her rent going up in a few months and how she would now have to find a room-mate or a man to make up the ddifference from what she is paying now and what the new rent will be. Now room-mate I understand, but I pointed out to her that needing a man to provide for her and her child should only be the child's father...anything else comes across to me as gold digging. I asked her what she would bring to a relationship and she said she brought her and a wonderful child. Okay but what if the man did not want that package and wanted his own family not an instant family as some men don't and she basically said that all that matter is what she wanted and men should be more open minded with dating single moms. I asked her if she would date a single father and she said only if the man and his child(ren) would move into her apartment on her time table and would understand that her child comes first and she should be trreated as such by the man and his kids...okay got it. The world should revolve around a single mom and her needs. No thank you.
We all have choices...I try to limit drama in a relatonship and I do not like being a second class citizen in my own home.
For those who like to circle the wagons to protect single moms...go try knitting quilts and sweaters..they will keep you warm at night. Until you knights can be matched with single moms. I wonder why a few posters from this thread have not got together romantically. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/23/2008 3:50:52 PM | I would love to find a single mom , with a child about my son's age (6). This would be most beneficial to all but, it doesn't seem to work that way
So many single fathers, so far away... 
I wonder why a few posters from this thread have not got together romantically.
There are a few choices for you. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/23/2008 4:32:08 PM | **laughter**
Now you've got JOHNE using "anything typically associated with women is insulting to men" as a tactic, Smuggler. I can only imagine how proud you are that your little boi is growing up in the shadow of the old man.
Again, **laughter**
You sure you want to stroll so blithely down the "openly misogynist" path, Johne? Or might you have misspoken yourself? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/23/2008 4:36:40 PM | | I think someone needs to head back over to the other very old, just bumped thread where he is discussing these women that just HAPPEN to come out of the woodwork that he has just happened to have dated that fit the discussion perfectly... | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/23/2008 4:45:56 PM | Comments from government lobby groups and a few posters on here like "If you are living in the home with the child and help raise the child you are the parent" Are what governments hide behind when defending such stupid policies like have ex step parents pay for ex step children. It is a turn off to dating single mothers. I have gotten form letters with this crap on them as well when I write letters to politicians and lobby groups trying to get that law changed or at least make my feeling on it known.
I do not see it as shallow or immature to not date single moms...they need to prove that they can bring something great to a relationship the same as anyone else does. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/23/2008 6:15:52 PM | So when do mention that you have a child? Or even a child that you placed for adoption. Friends tell me that guys just don't know what to say to the fact that I have a daughter, but I placed her for adoption. So, any advice on how to mention it, or when to bring up... I would be very appreciative to hear any responses.
Maddie | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/23/2008 6:22:57 PM | If you have a child that you are a part of it's life, then you mention it before meeting (like on your dating profile)
If you have a child that was placed up for adoption, then you mention it when it feels comfortable for you, but before you pursue a long term relationship with someone.
JMHO | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/23/2008 7:36:25 PM |
I mean the single moms getting together with those "knitting men" who defend them.
Two hands knitting! Can I get that on a tattoo?
I do not see it as shallow or immature to not date single moms...
Nor do I, lil buddy. But how will they know what they’re missing if you don’t stick around? | |
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