Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 326 | |
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Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 328 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/21/2007 5:40:44 PM | ^^^i used to live in Mississauga as a boy. I love TO and am coming to see a leaf game soon.
Most of my family is there.
Yikes i am hijacking this thread.
oh ummm seee i ummm ohh looooooooveeeeeeeeeeeee single moms. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/21/2007 7:57:45 PM | | Maybe it is because they are afraid of loco parentis and do not feel like being scammed by those who are gold diggers. Not all single parents are gold diggers but I have met a few that say "It is in the best interests of the children" that they are gold diggers..then they complain no one will date them...go figure. | |
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KTB784
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Joined: 6/21/2007
Msg: 333 | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 7/21/2007 8:59:52 PM | | Well you know, i know how you feel. I was with someone that we are now apart and i have a hard time with the fact when i call her to talk bout how is my son and stuff she says she is busy and will call back and then there are times she will say that and i dont here from her for like 3 days at a time. And i find that women also turn away when they hear i have a son and it is so not fair. I feel like i am gonna be alone for the rest of my life. I would love to date and be close to someone again, but i am tired of fishing and it can get very lonely. I mean is there anyone out there that is not gonna run when they hear i have a child. Well i guess all i can do is face the facts that people are very judgemental and noone my age wants anything to do with a guy that has a kid. maybe i need to look for women more mature and older than me, who knows. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/5/2007 2:57:58 PM | Why do men that do not like or choose not to date a single mother called shallow? If it gets serious he could be held in ;loco parentis and who would want to raise someone else's child and be held rsponsible for someone ele's child? It just doe not make sense.
Single mother's can be a legal and financial liability if you live in Canada. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/5/2007 4:06:15 PM | | A woman that has kids is not necessarily a bad thing. The main scary thing is feeling they want you to be seperate in their life always. If you are going to raise kids and have a differnt father there and you are going to take it to a serious point then you really have to believe at some point of letting that man father your kid also. You should both be able to decide a way to parent a kid. It is not like the kid is just seperated from the family bcs he has a differnt father/mother. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/6/2007 9:50:00 AM | I haven't had much of a problem with this. I'm upfront about my kids. I also don't bring them on my dates, put them on the phone, or talk about them in my profile. That's my grown up time. Why would I want to parade a bunch of guys in and out of their lives? I don't expect someone to have to impress me and entertain my kids.
I knows guys who don't mind dating a single mom. At the same time they see red flags go up when she brings the kids on the first date. Or posts pics of her kids.
If they're not interested in dating you because you have kids than be thankful that they were upfront with you about it. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/6/2007 10:20:30 AM | Hi There,
New in plentyoffissh. Nice to meet you all. I have to say that I agree with the post about keeping the children away at the beginning. It also happened to me once that I got attached to the children of the woman I was dating, and this really affected me as the relationship didn't work out.
On another note, I believe it is very interesting to date a mom as you can see first hand how is she as a mother. You may or may not agree with her ways. If I like how you are as a mother, for sure that will be something I admire you / respect you for, and will influence how attracted I am by you. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/8/2007 4:27:38 AM | hi there, have not looked through the forums since signing up and was having a flit though thought i would post a message...
Even though i am a single mum, i can understand guys my age dont want to be tied down with a kid, let alone someone elses, i wouldnt call them shallow for feeling that way, and if they were up front about it then i would be grateful they had been honest...i moved 100 miles to be with someone who professed his love and took on my kid, then decided 18 months down the line that he couldnt handle the responsiblity-that kind of thing P's me off because my son had then become attached and was hurt when it ended. Anyone else feel that young guys, who DO openly say they dont want to take on a kid should be given a break?! they are only being honest! and there are guys out there who will have it in them to take on someone elses child-its like dating in general, all comes down to luck and meeting the right guy at the right time in my book!
:-)
sorry for the essay, but feel strongly about the above! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/8/2007 7:05:26 AM | | As if dating wasn't hard enough! Try finding a person who is looking for a whole package. It's an oxymoron. For me, being 40 with a 5 year old is difficult, because in your 40's EVERYONE else's kids are over the age of 5.. That's hard..a single guy MIGHT get past all the dating drama, to get to know you.. but in the end he isnt wanting to raise or assist in raising your child (or my 5 year old) Try explaining that you're not looking for assistance in raising, I got it under control.. I've done just fine with the other 2 who are older, and already out of the house thank you very much. They're not going to see it.. kind of like starting life over again.. who wants to change the preverbial diaper after the age of 40? (no, my 5 year old isnt in diapers..) Nooo... Single non-fathers non-custodial fathers are jet skiing on the weekends.. not hitting the zoo, listening to your kid throw a tizzy fit because they want an ice cream.. grrr... Hot diggity, I am there with ya.. and when I figure it all out, I'll be sure & let you know.. humm... ever tried looking for custodial single fathers? That's a trip too.. plenty of fish my ass.. still fishin'.. (btw, single men (in my opinion) who steer clear of single mothers are self obsorbed, me me me... pay attention to me, did I mention I like me? have you met me? let me introduce me, oh for the love of me, me..it's all about me- In which case, identifying those "me" guys is easy & move away from them as quick as possible..it'll never turn out the way you want because they're not interested in anything other than the "me".. their world goes no further than 2 inches from their face) no depth.. who wants that anyway? davidRN we (single mothers) couple be happy multiplying you, clone.. what-have-you.. pleasant attitude.. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/8/2007 7:21:53 AM | Didn't read all the posts in but not all of us guys run. I have a boy of my own so that tends to add complications when you meet someone else with kids of their own. I've always been the type to say one was enough but meeting a women with one of her own, I can deal with that. Where I draw the line is if she has several kids. I tried dating a women once that had 4 of her own. I was really into her and I thought her kids were great but my mind always ran back to the fact that she has 4 of her own and i have one. Raising 5 kids just wasn't my cup of tea. Our relationship didn't progress further but I am happy to say it wasn't because of her 4 children although given time that might have been the issue eventually.
After that relationship, I make sure that I don't begin a relationship with a women that has that many children. I know it will be an issue for me and i don't like getting close only to fail and leave her kids hurt later on. I have for the most part, been able to accept a mother of two but for me thats my personal limit.
Now if i was without a child of my own, my mind might think differently. You have to understand that for a single person (man or women) they are walking into a ready made family. The children are not their own and they will have to end up dealing with the father (mother) or fathers (mothers)...thats a tough thing to do for anyone. Thats potentially a lot of drama. Then you have to think about the persons family and how they would accept someone else's children into the family. Anyone who says thats not important doesn't share much of a relationship with their family. Anyway, it's different for everyone. | |
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SVRJB
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Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 346 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/8/2007 2:54:11 PM | His worry about his money is legitimate.
In Ontario there have been cases where women have won child support from someone she has been dating for 6 months and only on weekends. All it takes is him to sleep over at her house on weekends and some judges will award child support.
Once that happens, most men will barely get by on their income, may have to get a second or third job and be out of the relationship game. May never be able to afford to take adequate care or spend enough time with his own kids should he have some in the future.
The law is a joke, but it is what it is. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/8/2007 2:59:11 PM | Johne,
Did you ever wonder if the single mom you are dating ever wonders if you are dating her to get to her child? In a predatory type of way? What if she didnt want to date you because every single man that gets involved with a single mom has an alterior motive to reach her child?
I know its a sick example, but, I just figure Ill generalize like you do about the worrying of dating a single parent. Sometimes us single parents wonder about WHY a single childless man would date a single mom.
It all comes back to generalizing--you are worried about your money. That single mom is worried about YOU as a person and your childless status.
(just turnin' the tables) | |
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SVRJB
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Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 348 | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/8/2007 3:14:50 PM | ^pretty much my point. However, he has been on this section of the forum for a while eluding the same thing regarding the 'pitfall' of dating such. I doubt he will stop dating single mothers. Hes admitted he likes them as a person, but afraid of the risk. To avoid that risk, he should stop dating them alltogether. Id be curious to see if he holds that up.
(just a analogy I wanted to lay out) | |
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SVRJB
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Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 350 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/8/2007 3:30:47 PM | | Yeah, I've been reading some of his other threads and noticed a pattern. I think it's time he backed away from this forum and stopped dating single mothers... or stop whining about it hehe. | |
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