|
|
|
|
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/8/2007 4:20:30 PM | | See first I would never abuse a child....I have had bad experiences datuing single mothers and as svrjb stated it does not take much to be forced by the courts to pay support..if single mom is worried about pedophiles do not date ...a man could sue a woman if she makes a false claim like that. I know you were just using that as an example Disney but her solution is the same as mine..stop dating!!! | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/8/2007 5:57:50 PM |
I have had bad experiences datuing single mothers and as svrjb stated it does not take much to be forced by the courts to pay support..if single mom is worried about pedophiles do not date ...a man could sue a woman if she makes a false claim like that. I know you were just using that as an example Disney but her solution is the same as mine..stop dating!!!
..and this leads me to my statement-you've had bad experiences, yet, whine your way into trying to find a 'reason'. Sometimes, there is just no reason. We all come from different walks of life.
YOUR bad experiences led you to make a criteria to date Johne102. "Single Mom Joan Doe" had experiences from dating typical single childless man; therefore, making her critiera appear shallow to Johne102. (do you see where Im going?)
if single mom is worried about pedophiles do not date
I knew you would say this. So therefore, going with this sentence, wouldnt the same apply to you and your dating a single mom theory? Point to ponder...........
I was using the single mom/pedophile case as an analogy.
Hey, I fully support you not dating a single mom. Im a single mom and I dont mind one bit. Im not even in the least bit BOTHERED by a generalization. I was once young with no children, and I dated 2 men in my life that were divorced and had 2 kids. I was serious with one. Butttttt, I did think like you did-as far as wanting a family of my own. The man I was once serious with (first love who broke my heart) had a vasectomy and wasnt having anymore chlidren. My mother once asked me if I was that serious with him, would I be ok in knowing I could never have one of my own with him. I said yes. I lied. It all worked out in the end because he ended up reconciling with his wife (he was in the process of a divorce).
The only thing you have me puzzled on, is your constant need to make redundant posts regarding LP and a single mans fear of being held responsible. I am fully aware NOW, that its a possibility where you live. So, in your case, I would avoid that by refraining from dating a single mother period. The LAST thing I would do is constantly put my hand over the fire and then complain to every tom, d.ick, and harry why my hand was so blistery.
If you are seriously done in dating single moms, fine. Be done. Be done and quit putting this constant fear onto yourself. You are completely mind f.ucking yourself.
Sometimes, there really is no answer for why people do what they do. Thats life. | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/8/2007 6:56:37 PM |
Why risk yoyur hard earned money on someone elses children? It is eaiser to just aviod the situation.
thats a rather amazing statement.....if I care enough to spend my hard earned money on on the woman, why wouldn't I spend it on her children. If I enter a relationship, I take everything that comes with it. Example, my ex wife and I attempted to get back together. She had a child with another man but I told her, I would accept this child as my own if her and I were able to make something of a relationship, which off topic, remember always, you divorced for a reason....round two doesn't work lol.
So, if you have no intentions of spending your hard earned money on the kids, why bother dating the single mother in the first lace...seems like a pretty wrong statement to me but just glad it didn't escape my mouth. | |
|
Rhett1
|
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 354 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/8/2007 7:17:51 PM | Disneymom: I have to ask...re: post 347.
Why on earth would a woman go into dating a man thinking "Hmmmm, I wonder if he's after my kids?"
My first question would be "What on earth is wrong with a woman who goes on a date anyway with a guy she's suspicious of, especially on this topic?"
| |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/8/2007 7:20:31 PM | Eldubu,
It was an analogy to further explain to Johne why one would go into something with doubts. (his fear of dating single moms and be subjected to responsibility). Obviously if one has suspicions of something, its best to refrain/rethink. | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/10/2007 11:25:31 PM | EASY ANSWER TO THE QUESTION.....STEREOTYPING
we have been cast in the dark light as lepers of society, and sooo many men have met the trashy ones who used and abused, that it makes the other WONDERFUL ONES cast aways.
snap judegements are killings us i swear. We are not all the same chocolate chips in the cookie bowl you know...some are mint flavored....butterescotch....peanut butter...dark.... semi sweet... Im so SICK AND TIRED of hearing about well i dated some hobeast with 12 kids that treated me like shit took me for all i had so ill NEVER EVER EVER date a single mother again!!! ARRGHHHH!!!
ill say it a hundred times you crash and scrape your knees it bled and it hurt but do you sell your bike?? do you throw it in the bush?? NO... you shut the fuk up and try again. | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/11/2007 1:55:37 AM |
Ok, Why is it I always find the guys that turn around and run when they find out I have a daughter?
Because most women that have kids, there whole world is there kids. There is no real time for a guy in the picture. ALso it causes way to many issues should you get serious with a guy. I found that out the hard way. I dated a woman who had kids, I bonded to her kids very well and in fact at first she was amazed how we all got along so well. The problem? When it came to me being the father figure when it came to telling the kids no or that someone needs to be done a way that she did not like. It became a relationship of bitterness for us both and in the end we went out seperate ways with her kids feeling hurt by the whole thing that there mom did not work out once again with another guy.
Would I ever try again with a woman who had kids? I don't like to say no for sure, but I can say thats a big part of it and it does cause big problems. | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/11/2007 7:28:17 AM | | Like Johne, I've been burnt by a single mom. However, I don't think her status as a single mom was the issue. It was her unhealthy personal values (materialism and selfishness). Both would have been there regardless of being a parent. I happen to have a friend who is a single mom that despite difficult finances, refuses to take money or assistance from her boyfriend, even despite various offers. If I didn't know her, it would have been very difficult not to close the door on single moms as many guys seem to do. In the end, if someone is selfish and shallow, having kids makes no difference. | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/11/2007 8:20:36 AM | ive been wondering why they run for 8 months now!!
granted my boy is only 8mths old...
ive been single since i was 4 months pregnant(due to a certain shitty man) and when i was pregnant i had plenty of dates all of them who knew i was pregnant but since having my beautiful boy they all seem to have run a mile and i just dont understand it... so why when pregnant and not now?
guess we will never truly understand the complicated minds of men!
and they say that we are shallow!!
 | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/11/2007 12:28:14 PM |
Ok, Why is it I always find the guys that turn around and run when they find out I have a daughter? I really don't understand at all.. if they truly want me I am a package deal now. Its not my daughter's fault how she got here or who her sperm donor so to speak is. It is all fine and dandy if you go out with them for what they want, but when the child even gets mentioned... they turn and run the other way. I guess I'm destined to be single for the rest of my life, but hey I have her and she is my number one priority... if they don't like it.. oh well..Then they obviously do not know what kind of awonderful thing in both my self and my daughter that they could be missing out on.
They are not running because you're a single mother, they're running because they don't want to attend the pity party you are constantly throwing yourself. I'm sorry, but if a guy doesn't have kids then of COURSE you don't talk about your kid the whole time. Why even really mention your daughter, other than letting him know she exists? I mention my children, but unless asked questions I don't go on and on about them (or try not to). But I am NOT about to introduce my kids to my date - so why even talk about them? A date is a DATE. If we were supposed to talk about kids all the time we'd bring the kids along! But that's not what a date is for.
Lose the attitude of "I guess I'm destined to be single forever blah blah blah" and you might stand a fighting chance! | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/11/2007 2:05:28 PM | My two cents.. I would say that a man who doesn't want a single mother, well you don't want him either. Your profile says that you are a mother, so any man who is going to take the time to read that, well it's not like he doesn't know going into the situation.
I agree with 1tallmomma in a way, you should be more positive. You have great things to offer the right man and you should try focusing on those things instead of what you feel are your negative aspects. Being positive can go a long way... (such as in your profile, the first thing you read is negative, "why is it that men like bit**es?", Maybe cut that part out and focus on the positive of how nice you are, etc. that you included after that... May be a better first impression and attract the kind of guys you want to attract :) There are plenty of nice guys out there who would be more than willing to date single mothers, as long as they felt they were attracted to them (in personality and looks), and a negative impression might just be what is keeping them away rather than the fact that the person is a single mom. | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/11/2007 2:55:45 PM | I'll tell you the same is for single fathers. Women are just as afraid to get involved with a man that raises children. I think they just (just like men) are looking for the 100% attention, the fact is when we have children they are our life. If someone special fits into it then they will get to meet our children, if not then they have already run and it saves our children from the heartache. As you can see it goes both ways.
Just my two cents,
Craig | |
|
| |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/11/2007 5:31:53 PM | | I find that easy to believe that it goes both ways. I think in some cases maybe they just aren't sure if it got serious that they want to get involved in that lifestyle if they are not used to it. (Lifestyle may not be the right word but its all that came to mind). But maybe because of less attention as you say, who knows. I've never really based a decision on if someone had kids or not so I'm not sure. I guess if they like you enough, they should be willing to accept the whole package. | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/12/2007 3:11:53 AM | | I am a single mum but tbh have never really had any problems. I mean a few blokes will be put off it and that's up to them, it's no loss to me if someone doesn't want to be around me because I have a child. At the end of the day, my son does come first. But just because I have a son, doesn't mean my whole life revolves around him... I am still young and have a life, I have a very good social life, enjoy working and meeting new people. And if I ever meet someone and we decide we want children, it would still be just as important and exciting to me as the first time was. | |
|
| |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/12/2007 10:24:50 AM | Well i am sure someone else has said this, but i cant be bothered to read all the responses cos meh too cool init lol. Anyway, most guys, just like women,have ideals.
Meet a nice girl get married have kids. Now not many have 'meet a nice girl with kids,get married have more kids'.
Ok granted you will find the odd guy who is willing to take up another guys kid, for many reasons.
who wants to be in competion with "the real dad" who wants some random guy popping over to pick up his kid?It is a messy situation either way.
And the age of the kids can also be an issue, also the colour lol. Who wants to be walking down the street with his gf/fiancee/wife with a kid that is say mixed race (and the guy she's walking with is white?), same goes for others. It tends to make for uncomfertable social situations, stress, and even rumors.
i have messaged the odd single mother,but deep down,it is kinda worrying,on many levels. It does make you more worried esp if the kid is really young like 8months old etc.
IF miss right had a kid, i'd have to shut up an accept it. But so very few people ever meet the PHANTOM right person. Just have to look at the divorce rates, and single parent families. | |
|
bosoxx
|
Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 368 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/12/2007 2:29:20 PM | | That would be very well said and very true in an idealistic and perfect world. Often it's not the children that would make some one run.It depends on many factors alot of those factors having to do with circumstances surrounding the child such as :parenting styles,financial matters,ex whatever's involvement and unresolved issues.Why would any man or woman want to walk into a potential time bomb? Each case is individual...all things need to be considered. | |
|
bosoxx
|
Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 369 | |
| |
bosoxx
|
Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 370 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/12/2007 2:38:21 PM | | I would agree w/ you however here is the difference.There are MANY kinds of single mothers and to find good ones you still have to "fish".I would be reluctant to date a single mother w/lots of baggage and issues,however ne w/ her life in order,similar parenting styles and one that understands loving a man and loving her children ARE different.....Then it's all good! | |
|
| |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/25/2007 3:11:41 PM | It is my experience as a single mom too that being in the dating world with 2 still young and Dependant kids (5 and 4) ....Most men aren't ready to accept that, cause it is a huge thing going from being a single guy to having an insta-family....It can be scary....
It's hard not to reserve yourself to the fact that unless you can find a truly dedicated man who wants the whole package and is ready for all that you are....The mom, the woman and all....That you are destined to be single until the kids are grown. But you gotta keep a positive mind, he is out there....It may take time.... | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/25/2007 3:38:15 PM | | I really don't think it is anything personal, the fact is that being in a relationship is hard enough to maintain without the added issues of children. When people first meet they are trying to discover things in common about each other; very hard to do while entertaining someone else's kid. Ladies please don't be so excited about meeting a new guy that you throw them in your kids face after 1 or 2 dates. I have dealt with this myself, I told my friend (at the time) that we should see how things develop between us, before making some grand introduction. She was happy about our meeting and the introduction couldn't wait, so we (me and the kid) met and the kid was awesome, I really liked the little guy. After a few months I liked him (not the Micheal Jackson way!!) more then the mom. So now the dilemma, break up with the mom and my new buddy...I can leave a grown woman, but to break a kids heart whose father was a sack of crap, and I was his only male figure was hard...So this is possibly part of the reason for guys running.... | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/25/2007 11:04:55 PM | | Curtis74: I commend you for your honesty and kindness as well as willingness to make a differance in a child's life. I do understand your dilema, I have had a few single mother's bring the kids on the first date..it is tough and awkward, how can you get to know someone when you are really just a baby-sitter? (or helping mom baby-sit) | |
|
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 8/26/2007 12:27:11 AM | | Good 4 u mom.....I had a wife who claims to have fell in love with a guy and she simply disappeared off the face of the earth. I have two daugthers (16 & 13) and understand your frustration. being a single parent has it's obsticles when it comes to finding romance and love. Guys or girls and I've met them that will run when they find out a person is a single parent. Well I say keep on running because it wouldn't have worked out anyway's. I'm not looking for a Mom or a babysitter for my kids. I'm looking for a special friend for me and in time the kids will accept her and that's the way it goes. I am financially independant, I take real good care of my girls and find it sad when a person is judged differently because they have children. Show me someone who at my age whodoesn't have kids and a past and I'll show ya a person I don't want to hook up with anyway. Know what I mean? | |
|
|
| Page 15 of 140
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41 |
|
Home
login 
