| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/6/2007 7:24:13 AM | Lizbeth:
I have no mental limitations..my limitations are just physical, I do not judge others what I am doing is giving my experiences and opnions based on the question asked. In the case of Ever wonder why men do not like single mothers? Many men are scared off by a law which would force them to pay support for children that they did not bring into this world. Do you understand that?
As the law stands now because of my income I stand to lose more money should I get involved in a long term relationship with a single mom amd it does not work out than most single mothers would. We all have the emotional investmennt in a relationship no matter who we are but the potential financial liabilities are scaring many men away from dating single moms. I am looking for a long term relationship and therefore aviod most single mothers when it come to dating. Why do you single mothers keep bashing those who will nt date you?
The OP asked a question and I am giving her my answer based on my experiences and my knowledge. Plus it takes just one single parent to "put the screws to someone" when the relationship ends and it will cause that one person not to date single parents again. Or it may even be watching a friend get "The boots put to them" in court by a single parent and it may cause someone to decide not to take the risk. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/6/2007 7:46:55 AM | johne,
You are doing more than giving your opinion...you are standing on the roof tops screaming warnings and preaching about some subjects you have no idea about...
You have every right to feel the way you do...and also have the right to exclude the single parents as a demographic you won't date....but your crusade to "inform" or "educate" other's....is insulting considering the forum you have chosen.
Your right, you have no mental limitations....but lemme ask you....how long did it take for society to accept your disability as only a physical one?
I really could care less about your dating preferences...what pisses me off is your condesending attitude towards alot of single parents on this thread. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/6/2007 7:59:42 AM | | I married a woman with 4 minor kids. Child support received was very minimal and infrequent but I had no problem helping support then in anyway I could. Love the kids like they were mine. Unfortunately the marriage did not last. It does not matter to me that a potential partner has children. I just wish women would as accepting of men who may not meet their ideal standards. There are a lot of great men/women out there who get overlooked because they don't fit into the box that has been created, but given a chance would make a great partner. Good luck. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/6/2007 11:42:20 PM | I'm going to chime in... I'm 26 when I was 23 I dated a single mom... I didn't mind the kid actually but the relationship between her and her ex (the biological father) was a complete mess. I had to hear about all the crap she was going through with him and in the end I just didn't want to deal with it. Don't get me wrong I loved the kid, the kid wasn't the problem it was just the relationship between her and the ex.
I don't have anything against single moms but I have to say you have an uphill battle and I don't want to generalize all single moms but here are some of the things that go through my head...
1. Baggage I don't want to deal with it period.
2. If you wern't married and had a kid and your under 24... once upon a time you were hot you could have any guy you wanted and you ****ed up... again I don't want to deal with the baggage period.
3. I've never experience this only heard it... people say that single moms if given the chance will go back to the biological father and try and work things out if she sees a chance for "the perfect family" now wouldn't it totally suck if you were dating her for oh a little while and she decided to go back? it would probably make you feel like a door mat.
After all I've said, you really need to convince a single guy that none of that is gonna happen, and to take a chance on you. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/7/2007 7:19:00 AM | | Ok I was bored and reading through these being that I am a single mom. And WOW its sad how negative people can be about a single mom. For one the woman didnt make the baby on her own. Yet she is left to raise the child on her own and it is held against her since she is the one who is being responsible and raising the child. Any man would be crazy not to want to get to know a woman who is strong enough to raise a child or children on her own. I have 3 children all the same dad and it just didnt work out. That doesnt make me a bad person. IF a single man/woman would take a step back and look at what a single parent goes through on a daily bases then I really dont think it would be such an issue. Being a single mom has made me a stronger and better person. I might have to work 12 hour days and get only a few hours of sleep everynight to make my life and my kids life good but its worth it.. Us single parents (men/women) need love too. Dont be so quick to judge... We are all good people and deserve a chance.. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/7/2007 8:54:58 AM | Lizbeth: Anyone that talks to me realizes I am intellegent and have no mental limitations. So I have never had the problem of anyone thinking my limitations were mental. At least not now. As a child I did but that was solved by me working hard to get ahead, as anyone should do.
Which brings me to another point, if I have more money than a single mother what do I owe her? Why should I risk what I have on a romance that could fail when children that I did not create could profit from? 60% of all second or 3rd marriages fail so the odds are that if I marry a single mom I would end up paying to support her and her children and paying for their education right? So why take the chance? It is all risk for me and no reward.
I noticed on another thread you are encouraging someone to go after child support from someone when it is not a family court matter but a civil matter as her ex has not paid his portion of the rent. The very fact that a simple civil matter can be turned into a family court matter will scare some men away from dating single mothers. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/7/2007 11:09:17 AM | Well ladies and gentlemen I am 54 yrs old I dated when my husband died . I was in two long realation ships that last 11yrs first one, second one was 5 yrs. I didn't like that fact that my first one wasn't a good father figure for my son so I had to let him go The scond one was a doctor wasn't too crazy about my children. In the beginning they are charming and all father like a dream come true.Not here to judge all men just the few that make life hard on us single moms, like we have to give up our children for them. I think it's the insecure men that are not sure of themselves and don't know how to handle their own responsiblity or not stable /comfortable in a realationship with children. I had 4 beautiful children that came frist in my life I gave up dating to foucs on them to make sure they had a healthy life . I am now the proud mother of a computer wizard classified a genus and my girls are gifted girls both professional.. and of course my youngest one who just came home from pritave school who came from my second marriage who wanted me to ship my older children to boarding schools. Guess who got shipped out? Right he did! Our chldren are our gifts from God we are to cherish , guide , love, protcet, love them and teach them in the way of the Lord. We as parents are our chlidren first educators remember to be aware of who comes into your lfie. Uless you are sure of them invite them into your life....Our price and treasures are our children . Wonderful things happen to them that are patience ...  | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/8/2007 8:57:31 AM | another thing I havedated a few single moms who complain a lot about how tough their life is and how they have a horrible ex bla, bla bla,. I dated one single mom who ran back to hear ex for the sake of her kids. I understand that but she complained about him non stop.
When dating someone why would you want to hear about how bad someone from their past is/was? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/8/2007 1:15:33 PM | OP asked a question..I am giving my reasons....let's not foreget the number one reason in Canada not to date single mother's...loco parentis? Why should someone else's children be the responsibility of someone just because they choose to have a relationship with a single mother?
It does not make sense and can be used by some as a cash cow. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/8/2007 1:17:40 PM | | I have yet to have a single woman with no kids date me and complain about an ex or have one us me the way a few single mother's have and then they hide behind "In te best interests of the child" as a reason for doing so..all it takes is one or a few bad experiences to cause people to talk so blame the single parents that give others a bad name. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/8/2007 3:57:59 PM | | The OP asked a question which you have replied to over and over and over again yet all you really do is stick your foot in your mouth. You have repeatedly insulted and belittled single mothers. Then you go on a rant about the law here in Canada. I know that there are several new posters to the thread and they may not have read the numerous times you have repeated the same old song and dance...so for their benefit...carry on. I'm sure they would love to read 20 more pages of you ridiculing us. Just remember while you get carried away with your ranting that we are human beings and are very very tired on the whining and complaining about us. It's a shame you have basically destroyed a decant threat which started out fine but here is goes again. Pretty much ever single mother who has posted to this thread now knows what type of a fear monger you are and your intense dislike of us. They are know you seem to be enjoying flaunting your nonsense and ignorance of us as people. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/8/2007 5:39:52 PM | I just posted a similar thread. It is very annoying to say the least. One time I was told he had feelings for me but did not want to raise a family again... Hello? I am not looking for a daddy for my kids, they have that. I am looking for a partner for me! Shesh...
Claire | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/8/2007 7:42:59 PM | | Well I don't know what the laws are like in Canada, but in the US if you're not the biological or adoptive father of a child, you are not required to financially support him. It's a shame that single men that are supposedly looking for a partner are so quick to assume that she is somehow conspiring to take him to the cleaners! I mean really! I am a single mother of a 10 y.o. boy and I currently make 3x the salary my ex-husband makes. I do not constantly ask him for $$$; I encourage him to be more involved with his son; and I show my son that as an adult I not only take care of all my "adult/parent" responsibility, but I relish the opportunity! I appreciate more the strong women on this world that are attempting to raise intelligent and worthy "citizens" of tomorrow....maybe some of you single men without children could stop thinking you're above it all and start at least recognizing reality. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/9/2007 12:48:06 AM | What pisses me off even more so, is the guys who try to be the "NICE " guy, and pretend to enjoy your kids, just so they can get into your pants. YA DONT FOOL ME!!!
and hey, btw, since when was i asking for a guy to become my childrens new father? perhaps this is what they have in mind when they see single mother, and then run, or try devious acts that fail!
i have being raising my kids on my own, thank you, and have been doin fine by myself, i never once said i was looking for a new daddy...im my kids' mom AND dad all rolled up into one!
just wanted to vent! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/9/2007 1:08:28 AM | Stick to your guns 101,
I think kids bring the balance to a strong home vs a house, of course you have to be cut from that cloth , IE being family orintated etc.......
Not everything on this planet is geared for just adults and the dating scene.
Some of the best dates i've ever been on over the yrs involved kids at waterslides and go-cart tracks.......just good old exhausting fun and games.
There's alot of people out there I'm sure will agree. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/9/2007 8:14:06 AM | If you want to date and meet someone who has their life put together, you have to stand out from the crowd. I think that's universal for everyone, whether you are a man or woman, regardless of your age, regardless of how many children you have out there.
Most single men aren't going to date single mothers. This is pretty obvious. Most, probably close to all, of the single men with the most dating options aren't going to date single mothers. The worse the single mother's financial situation, the less likely someone will date her. The more children she has, with each additional child, the less likely someone will date her. The more trouble she has with her ex husband or ex boyfriend, the less likely someone will date her. The older she is in life, the less likely someone will date her.
I think single mothers have to be realistic. There's a tiny pool of men that most women will find interesting and desirable, whether they have kids or not. Out of that tiny pool, an even smaller number are open to dating a single mother for the long haul.
I think the hard question becomes - How does a single mother find a way to make herself stand out and be unique to those men?
Unfortunately, society and modern dating often has the man having to prove his worth as a mate to the woman. When it comes to single mothers, I think they have to accept that the tables have turned. They themselves has to show how they are unique from most single mothers out there and dating them can be rewarding and manageable. I don't think most single mothers think this way so I think that contributes to a lot of them being dateless. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/9/2007 12:22:13 PM | Single men who choose to not date a single mom on the basis that she has children are most likely short sighted and therefor probably not really worth a long term investment on the woman's part.
Date people for who they are and if you like them.. not the circumstances or things surrounding them.
Geez.. this isn't rocket science, people. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/9/2007 10:02:12 PM | Most single men aren't going to date single mothers. This is pretty obvious. Most, probably close to all, of the single men with the most dating options aren't going to date single mothers. The worse the single mother's financial situation, the less likely someone will date her. The more children she has, with each additional child, the less likely someone will date her. The more trouble she has with her ex husband or ex boyfriend, the less likely someone will date her. The older she is in life, the less likely someone will date her.
I think single mothers have to be realistic. There's a tiny pool of men that most women will find interesting and desirable, whether they have kids or not. Out of that tiny pool, an even smaller number are open to dating a single mother for the long haul.
I agree. Women shouldn't be so offended. That's just how it is. However, it's not sexist. It'd be exactly the same with roles reversed. It's just not nearly as common to have the father be the full time custodial parent, that's all.
I'm speaking as someone who is single and childfree, and would do the same if I met a man who had kids. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/10/2007 9:15:07 PM | ^^^^^^^^^Wow! I think with those last tthree posts...all us single gals can pack er up...and go home to our litter of kids!......*(just a hint...that was sarcasim)
So men are concerned about the finacial situation of a single mom?....geeze....from what I have read...I dunno why! Apparently single Mom's can extort multiple child support payments from almost every poor smuck that dates them...so if your the new guy coming in....it's easy street for you isn't it?........and for those posts where a single Dad won't date a single mother because all the trouble with the ex.....I would question that "single Dad's"..." denial issues" with his own circumstances....gawd......(is this microphine on?)......no worries...I think that single women and single parents are very accustomed to dealing with the throw backs....^^^^ of the above posts I see here!!..........sheesh......did someone actually write..."for the long haul?"....speaks volumes to me........next! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/11/2007 9:15:54 AM | Lizbeth:
You can not collect support for dating only if you marry them and if you have had kids previously and you have custody of the kids...but for those who do not want to pay child support for someone else's kids, they will aviod dating single mothers. What does a single mother bring to a relationship that can benefit the relationship that a woman with no kids can't? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/12/2007 2:16:57 AM | omg some men im a single mother of 3 not by choice if i had my way i would of stayed in my marriage but my husband walked ok 4 him he gets them on a fri.
i never imagined that this would happen 2 me but im gettin on wit it coz a childs love is way beta than any love a man can give at the end of a hard day i get a cuddle and no selfish man wantin his dinner slippers etc.
i cam on here 2 find someone 4 me not a dad 4 me kids they got one thanx lol
one man i encounted on here was so rude sayin that he hated single mothers n that my children were another mans casts off so i replied back wot would happen if he had a daughter and she b left in the lurch (as a lot of women dont choose 2 do it alone) his response would b that wen he did have children it would b in a happy family home(so i think he was sayin that mine wasnt-fool ) and there would b 2 parents!!!! but things happen i told him like becomin a widow r partner havin an affair leavin 2 b wit that person.
i said nothin more but wot goes around comes around
i dont expect men 2 d8 me just coz i looked up their profile and i dont wanna feel like i should b grateful wot response i get im a person still young and i want 2 b happy if im happy then my kids r happy
single mothers have been predjuiced 4 2 long now that we all sit in our council houses collectin dole money
wen realitie is that we can b more hard workin than some women coz we kno that its all down 2 us 2 have a nice house food on table (as most of us dont receive any money from kids dad) etc etc
wen i do d8 a man i dont intrud my kids straight away i tell them about my d8 then if things turn out ok then i will take them 2 the park then they will meet(only happened once lol)
but at the end of the day it happens 2 alot of ppl just sad selfish individuals that think they kno best that we only after a daddy 4 our kids and a way outta our council houses then they r missin out on acheiving something magical like xmas, school plays, first acheivements etc etc then they aint worth knowin!!!!!!!!!!!!
makes u wonder 2 y they on this site and y so long lol tc xx | |
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