| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/12/2007 2:28:02 AM | so the more kids u got the harder it is 2 find a nice man 2 love me dosnt matter if u have 1 r 7 wen u got the single mother tag u get weirdos askin 4 one nighters coz they think u so easy how wrong men lol
wen im d8 a man i dont go on n on about my ex y should i he got nowt 2 do wit it plus some women get on fine wit their exs!!!!!!!!!!!!
also on a d8 i either pay my way r at least half so am i after the money????????? lol | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/12/2007 2:41:06 AM | its a sad boring myth that men run when they realise women have kids.
yeah ok maybe 3-5 years or so ago it was true but now a days its more than possible to find a nice guy when your a mum, in fact many men admit to prefering single mums.
i have 4 kids and met a fab guy on here who also has kids, we manage a long distance reltionship and are due to be wed next year..
so hang in there, when you least expect it..you'll find him. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/12/2007 7:56:54 AM | | Hunny, the guys that turn and run when they hear you have a kid are totally not worth your time. I cant tell you how many times thats happened to me, quite honestly I'd rather know upfront then to have some meathead drag along. Besides would you really want to be with someone who resents your kids?!?!?! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/12/2007 9:02:04 PM | | Maybe you should be looking to date single fathers. I have dated single moms in the past and will admit sheepishly that I tucked tail and ran. It's one thing to want to have kids but to be thrust into parenting...Some of us just weren't or aren't ready for it without a little parental...Foreplay if you will. I am now however a single dad of four children. Ah the tables have turned! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/14/2007 1:00:09 PM | | That may seem like an infair question. I suspect that there s more depth to hat is actually happening. As for me, I am single andwhether my date is a single mom or not, it is irvelant to me. From my viewpoint, it is the fear women mght eel once a guy becomes "too attached." I am ready, willing and able to support my family. Som single moms are "looking" for a certain kind of package -- have their cake and eat it too. If I met a single mom, my main concern is what are future goals and is marriage a possbility. Some women don't want to even think about that. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/14/2007 2:14:39 PM | | As i man i feel obligated to respond. Why would you as a single parent consider dating an individual who would not accept all that comes with raising a potential step-child. Simply keep your standards for dating high and put your childs interests first. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/16/2007 4:06:58 AM | I dunno about other guys, but here is my take on this. If a woman has a child and doesn't tell me about the child thats a red flag. I'll usually move on, because I need to be able to trust a girl in order to get close to a girl. If a girl just springs this information on me after I've been dating her for 3-4 weeks it's just not ok. However, if a woman is upfront about it and I'm attracted to the lady I'll keep dating her. I like kids! Oh, but it is a huge turnoff if the woman says she doesn't want anymore kids. Why? Because I don't have kids and I want a kid, so I'm not going to sacrifice having a child of my own. I'll just keep looking.  | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/16/2007 4:13:42 AM | Are men affraid of meeting the kids?
Well, for me I'd say yes. Mostly because you dno't know if they'll accept you or hate you because you are not there real dad. Also, we men aren't comfortable if the baby's daddy's are still in your life. Why? Because most Baby daddy's use the children as an excuse to still be in the womans life. We new guys can't say anything about it because, they have the right to see there children. So it really puts us in an uncomfortable position. Make sense? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/17/2007 9:01:13 AM |
Lizbeth
Johne is just voicing his opinion and he is doing most single men a favor. It does not mean that it will stop or deter them from dating single moms but it will surely be a warning just in case the sh*t goes down, at least they know the reason why.
Swimming with sharks does not obligatorily mean you gonna get bitten but given the nature of the environment and survival needs, there is always a risk. The same analogy goes to dating a single mom even though the percentage is not as severe. There is always the RISK factor BUT some people are just lucky not be screwed over while others are. The RISK is an operant existent one but whether you want to take it is your choice. I would avoid this RISK at all costs - the question of realizing it might be well too late my friend - the court is after you for a casual live-in relationship which you think is minor. You really cannot move on your life. Any other girl would not want to date you if they know you paying child support for another man meaning less resources on your part to contribute to her.
End to End this discussion, MOST people do not like risks - especially if they are inevitable and you are on the losing side. Better not take them or you might likely regret. My advice only-you are free to go against my point of view but IN the event of you getting f*cked up, do not get back to this forum and complain about your mistake. Your CHOICE..Your Life...Your Consequence
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/17/2007 9:09:55 AM | Visually addictive
How can you be not right?
These guys are surely not worth your time and you are not worth their money too. WIN WIN situation. You did them a favor not dating them because they MIGHT (i am not saying they WILL) get broke if the courts turn in your favor, assuming of course if you are a gold-digger, the bio father is a loser and dependent on what states/country you are residing etc. There are many variable but there is always the RISK factor that should not be overlooked and if ignored, might be expensive and irreversible.
These motherf*cking single guys might not hate your kids but they hate to financially support kids that are not theirs..SOME of these motherf*ckers have a hard time buying a lunch for themselves, how the f*CK do you expect them to pay for another man's child. Forget it. The world is somewhat a selfish one - and like I said, if they not worth your time, f*ck 'em, do not need these assh*les and they surely do not need your baggage to empty their hard earned pockets...You win..they win.. they lose, you lose | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/17/2007 9:10:07 AM | Visually addictive
How can you be not right?
These guys are surely not worth your time and you are not worth their money too. WIN WIN situation. You did them a favor not dating them because they MIGHT (i am not saying they WILL) get broke if the courts turn in your favor, assuming of course if you are a gold-digger, the bio father is a loser and dependent on what states/country you are residing etc. There are many variable but there is always the RISK factor that should not be overlooked and if ignored, might be expensive and irreversible.
These motherf*cking single guys might not hate your kids but they hate to financially support kids that are not theirs..SOME of these motherf*ckers have a hard time buying a lunch for themselves, how the f*CK do you expect them to pay for another man's child. Forget it. The world is somewhat a selfish one - and like I said, if they not worth your time, f*ck 'em, do not need these assh*les and they surely do not need your baggage to empty their hard earned pockets...You win..they win.. they lose, you lose | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/17/2007 9:17:52 AM |
You are right ... you work hard to make your kids happy but the world is a selfish one...most men do not want the risk..you might be a good person but your situation create a somewhat risky environment...not being biased but it is human nature to assume and predict
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/21/2007 8:37:32 PM | Some men do not want to raise someone else's children...some do not like the fact that they maybe a second class citizen in their own home if they were to marry you. Some (not all but some) cater to the kids so much that the new spouse (if they get married) is expected to keep quiet and know their place and role in the family.
I have seen a few friends and relatives who have married single mom's and they are expected to shut up and bring in the money and keep the kids happy..they never go visit their family during holidays or on vacations because the kids do not want to see people they are not really related too. It can be tough when they have no say in things.
I have one cousin who was told by his wife if he did not shut up and accept that he could not watch sports because his step daughter hated sports and provide financially for the family and accept not seeing his family because there was no time to see them ever...thathe would be kicked out and living in Canada that means loco parentis!!
So there are many treasons..plus who wants some of that drama? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/22/2007 5:27:04 AM | im sorry but single fathers dont have it harder single mums do because u guys see as either damaged goods or just cant stand the thought of coming off second best.
single fathers i know from my friends are adored because they think they are the wonderful men who took on their kids when the mother wouldnt or other circumstances came about to my friends single fathers are like gods !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/22/2007 9:24:42 AM | great post jonick...but thid thread is not about single fathers it ids about why men will not date single mother's.
Disney we all base our opinions and attitudes on our experiences and what we witness in the lives of those around us. Men do talk about loco parentis and when one is held in loco parentis or has a bad experience dating a single mom we tell our friends...those of us that witness men being treated as second class citizens tell ur family friends and co-workers. It does not help the cause of the good single mom's looking for an honest relationship when some spoil it by treating men awful and expecting too much. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/22/2007 9:42:30 AM | I actually dated and then married a single mom about 10 years ago. It was hard to take on the resposibility but in the long run it was worth it. I adopted my little girl when she was 3. I had two more children with the woman I married. Now the hard part, she asked for a divorce last year. Despite the break up of the family I have three beautiful children that I love dearly. The oldest and adopted one has been the most distant, afraid she may lose yet another dad.
I have found the oppisite to be true. Woman find out that I have three kids and they bolt like a bat out of hell. This has happened not only once but 4 times in the last year.
You would think woman would like a guy that loves children, I am also a teacher, and until last year a home maker. Oh well, I turned my two bed room apartment in to a home for when I have my kids everyother weakend. Dont fret ladies, good men dont run from responsibility,they embrace it. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/22/2007 11:45:02 AM | Reality Check:
Ever think that maybe to some single guys the idea of getting involved in a relationship where the woman already has a child by another Man is not ideal?
I am single, I have no children and if given the choice of dating a woman with a child versus one without and having the mindset of a long term relationship in mind, without additional information I'd choose the woman without the child every time. The reason is simple, she lacks the potential drama related to an "x" and she has the available time to spend during the initial stages of the relationship that would otherwise be taken up by catering to her children by another Man. This is all honorable and should be expected from a single mother, but she should not fault a single Man without kids if he choose to avoid the previously mentioned issues. Now it is possible that a single woman has a child or children without any X drama involved(if he's dead, far off or in jail) but still in that case, why pick up a family situation you didn't start when you can start your own with a woman that has no kids? There is so much to it especially if you are looking for long term. I had situations where I had to witness the "parenting" of the women I was dating and had to restrain myself from applying discipline to the child for fear the mother would be offended. This is a very awkward situation to be in and illustrates one of the faults of accepting a family situation someone else started. Also and this will be taken as controversial, sometimes a guy doesn't want to have anything to do with raising another man's kids. Would you rather that a single guy played th game of showing interest and then dumped you over him not showing interest at all because he knows where the road will lead? Isn't it more honorable to anticipate a traumatic situation looming and avoid it rather then to get involved knowing you will eventually break someones heart? Try to think about this dispassionately, sometimes things come down to a simple numbers game. One tries to maximize happiness and minimize pain, in an environment where so many women don't have kids or X drama why would a single childless Man willingly enter the Lion's den if they have the safer and more numerous choice of women with no X drama and no kids? In the past I dated Women with kids(exactly 2) but I could never see it going into a permanent situation after running into X drama or wild child brat drama, so I just stopped doing it, for me ultimately, despite the happiness of the relationship itself, it turned out to be more hassle than anything else so I avoid that situation. Does that mean that I think all such situations would fail? Of course not, but experience and the odds are against my finding an ideal situation so the best course of action for me is to avoid the situation entirely. I could possibly run into a woman with none of the mentioned issues and kids that are disciplined in exactly the way they should be and be willing to accept it but the chances are very low so I don't go looking for it. Everyone has their preferences based on what they feel they deserve or can accept based on their situation and past experience, barring preferences based on ignorance the dating choices people make should be left alone.
Keep focused on your goals and stop watching what others are doing or not doing, the right situation for you will eventually come along.
Regards, | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/22/2007 11:52:22 AM | The title of this post cracks me up. Its been going on for so long with so many pages spinning in different directions, that I still have a pretty good idea on what my first response was, but anyway...
No. I dont. I honestly dont. Who cares? I date single fathers. Thats my preference. Just as childless ones have theirs NOT to date single parents. The only part about it I find amusing are these funny lables put on single parents. Ah yes! We are wicked! Wicked I tell ya! RUN RUN! Run for the hill's!!! We will drain your bank accounts! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/22/2007 2:06:16 PM | Johne.....!!!
I don't begrudge your lack of intelligence. Maybe your family tree doesn't branch, maybe you were dropped as a child, maybe you ate paint chips that contained lead... I don't know the reason you're mentally stunted but my guess is your last S/O kicked your ass to the curb and hurt your delicate little feelings.
You are not so young anymore and most women at your age have children already and I dought anyone of them single with or without kids would date you after reading your posts in this thread. No wonder you are single and no wonder the past ladies kicked you to the curb.
karma my friend karma | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/22/2007 2:46:08 PM | notspongebob:
The original post was a question I can answer. I have dateds single mom's my friends have too I have seen the garbage and baggage of dating single mother's. I will likely never do it again...funny how those men making choices are shallow and not intellegent..but what about women who refuse to date single father's?
It is tthat very attitude that you have that cause some men to aviod dating single moms. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/22/2007 3:27:14 PM | I would date a single man with children if I were in the dating pond and I would not even consider not dating someone due to their dependants or lack of. Men and women go past the point of dating and enter into loving and lasting relationships and it doesnt matter if they have children, the only thing that matters is love, because when there is true love people are there for eachother and their children......
I understand that someone young may not want to be an instant family and I also understand older people being leary of single moms due to the stupid law of co parentis (which I totally and completey cannot fathom as it is a bullshit law) but the attitude you throw off on this forum is disgusting and uncalled for.
I have yet to meet a real man that got to know me that did not want to date me due to my parental status, and just so you know I think that any women who takes a man (not the father) to court for C/S after the relationship fails is not a women at all. I believe cash cow was the word I read earlier. However I dont believe in this day and age that if a man dates or becomes deeply involved with a stable, working independant mom that they would lower themselves to meet the criteria in which you speak hence, cash cow.
Many and I believe most of us women have to much pride to lower ourselves to the degrading way in which you are trying to imply in this thread. That is not fair and you are an ass for even suggesting it... Good luck to you and if a man my age decides not to date me due to my parental status then they are not good enough in my books to even be in the same room with me. And by the way I was only referring to you in my past post in this thread...no one else as it is only you I see trying your hardest to belittle the single moms. | |
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