| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/25/2007 8:20:08 PM | im sorry cunning i didnt mean to offend u or pigeon hole u in ne way but........ i did say u made very valid reasons as to y men dont like to date single mothers i agree with all of them and as u remember from my previous post especially the noisiness in the bedroom one lol.
but if u will recall i stated my dating rules and also risking being gang bashed by women everywhere (as i am a woman) by the last thing i stated.
my opinion is u are dating the woman not the child i am aware some men assume they will have responsibility of the child before they get to know the mother but in this case its not the case if she is any kind of mother she wouldnt let neone take responsibility of her chiild money wise or other if u made the child then fair enough but if u didnt tell her no ur child u pay u chose to bring him/her ur responsibility not minne its that simple she doesnt like it then i say oh well ur loss.
againg cunning im sorry if i offended u
jo | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/25/2007 8:30:08 PM | and just replying to ur comment about how we dont think they run from us
well i personally dont think its my child they run from its me lol im odd i know my faults as u can tell im very opinionated i have a whole world of oddities so 9 out of ten times its prob the mother i agree with u there
jo | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/25/2007 8:47:06 PM | jonick:
I have had a few single mom's bring the little ones on the first date (without telling me first) and expected me to pay for a meal for all of them. That is not a good first impression. I have had almost all of them bring the kids into the situation way too soon. I have had a few ask me to pay their rent by date#3 and ask me to buy their children things..are they dating or looking for fimancial security? I also find many (not all but mamny) use the date as a counselor should a date not be a time to get to know the other person and try to move on from the ex? I have had 2 single mom's say they will "put the screws" to any man they get involved in a commmon law relationship with or marriage if it does not workout and they know the law will side with them as I live in Canada. They also talk about getting serious too quickly and want you to meet the children way too soon, it can be over whelming if not handled properly.
I think that is off putting and the single mom's wonder why some hestiate to get too involved.
You raise some good points though..I wish more single mom's thgought like you do. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/25/2007 9:00:22 PM | johne,
I understand now why u feel the way do and id have to say i dont blame u mate but...........not all women are that way im not i dont expect neone to pay for my son hes my responsibility not urs or ne other mans .
i'm gathering u read my post that stated my dating rules if i assume correct then ill say this i stand by it every woman should follow them rules not only do u not know her she doesnt know u not being rude or nething but how does she know ur not a pedophile or a psycho i firmly believe kids should not be ivolved till well into it like 6 months if possible by then u should know being the male what u want wether it be her or not.
maybe im not normal thinking 6the way i do but im not only a single mother but also a step child and i know wahat its like being introduced to a man whos not ur father and its scary and my mum thought the same way as me and since i had my son ive stuck by my rules .
i understand johne ull have no further comment from me thats against u neway unless i dont agree lol
jo | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/25/2007 9:33:28 PM | johne,
also as per the bringing the child on a first date comment ladies have u heard of babysitters, grandparents the childs father/s and if u cant afford a babysitter then u dont go on a date its not a childs place to be on a 1st date 2nd date 3rd etc if u hope to have ne chance of meeting someone give the guy a chance and leave the kids out of for atleast a few months unless ur destined to be alone by all means be honest and upfront tell the potential date u have a kid/s give the date a head start.
and as per rent and buying everything sooooo not the guys responsibility its YOURS u chose to have the babies u support them not the guy esp if he aint even their father.
come on ladies ur letting us all down with the few that are spongers.
GUYS IM RISKING BEING GANG BASHED COS I AGREE WITH U LOL.
john i know uve had some pretty bad experiences but dont let it ruin u from us few good ones
jo | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/25/2007 10:29:08 PM | rockondon,
its not that we dont think u like us its that its alot to expect of a man if the relationship works out to take on the father figure role of another mans child.
i mean occasionaly it might be because of certain personalities but more often than not its because we come with extras!
jo | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/25/2007 10:53:34 PM | spongebob
ive just read one of ur previous posts about how u sometimes pay for everything ...........more fool u love im not saying nething against all of u single dads but sponge some of them are just looking for someone to do the dishes lol ur making it easy for them by letting them think that ull pay for everything and theyre getting away with it they need to learn the same way we did the hard way.
sorry sponge but i dont agree with what ur doing
jo | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/25/2007 11:37:07 PM | Maybe not spongebob, just assesses each person on there individual situation, after all isn't that what it's all about. Yes theirs both bad and good of each sex, but you know i would much rather take the risk and think optimistically of someone , then presume someone is bad until they prove otherwise. I realise I'm not a single man unless a single father is still categorized as a single man.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is if i was single my decision would encompass everything (compatibility attraction values) not just one specific criteria. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/26/2007 12:06:08 AM | sadly, I get the OPPOSITE
I am a father with residential custody of THREE children and I generally search out women to date that have children because aI figure we would have plenty in common and understand routines must be followed.....in most cases it almost seems as if they become jealous because my time is devoted to my children, yet I'll bet things would be different if I DIDN'T have my kids because the women would expect me to pay MOST of my attention to them and THIER children
There are two sides to every situation, why is it common for men to accept single mothers and THIER children but not ok for women to accept single MEN and thier children?
It's like I'm being punished for being the better parent | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/26/2007 5:18:54 AM | 7 Reasons to NEVER date a Single Mother
Single mothers. Well, here are MY issues with them
(This pertains to a woman who had a kid and never
married, or divorced her husband because "She wasn't
happy". If she had a good marriage and he died, then that is totally different and the below doesnt apply).
1: She decided to have a kid without a husband. This
demonstrates terrible, selfish values. It also shows
that she thinks of men as sperm donors ( the OP even called her daughters father by this derogatory term) and child
support payers, NOT husbands & fathers. What will
happen if you knock her up? Get ready to pay up for a
kid that you won't get to be a real dad to.
2: In some states, you can be responsible for child
support by just living with her. I don't want to pay
for kids that aren't mine. Do you?
3: False allegations of child abuse. It isn't likely,
but I don't want to take that chance. Getting branded
with a big "M" on your forehead (For Molester) will
WRECK YOUR LIFE. It will never go away. Too big a
risk.
4: Relationship aren't easy as it is. Add a minor
child and it really complicates the issue. Do you want
to deal with her kid(s) too? You won't be their dad
and they will know it.
Their mom already #$%#@# up their life by not having a
dad for them, and is $%^&^%$ it up more by bringing in
"Revolving door boyfriends" into their life.
5: Lots of single moms but not all have financial problems. You
could be obligated to help pay for sitters, food,
braces, on and on. For children that aren't yours. Get
the credit card out!
6: There is NO reason to date one. Millions of women
in this country are single with no kids, and in every
age range. Go younger if you have to. Don't waste your
time with a woman that has PROVEN that she doesn't
want a husband for her and dad for her kids. Do you
think she will change her mind for you? That she will
forget her utter contempt for husbands and fathers
just for you? Sure she will.
I run into single mothers once in a while, and when "I
have a kid" is revealed, that's the end of the
conversation for me. I will be polite but I will still
walk off, because I don't want anything to do with
them.
7. You will always be last on her list of priorities. Her kids and her ex and everyone else she ever knew will be more important than you, and she will do her utmost to rationalize this bad behavior. You will be last in line after her children , herself, her dog, her family, possibly her ex, her friends -- if you as a man are happy to accept that - well its your choice | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/26/2007 5:29:27 AM | Yahh roo, I couldn't have said it better myself!!! Same thing goes for dating single fathers. I don't want to be number 2 on his list and only seen as an alternative fu**ck buddy because his wife left him.
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/26/2007 5:46:48 AM | Actually Jonick (post 613) I have to disgaree there, a "maternal" instinct applies to children someone has carried themselves or whom they bonded with
admittedly some, maybe even most women are pretty easy going where a blokes kids are concerned, but its nowhere near all
Its quite common for women to be interested in how a man does face up to his responsibility to his own kids if they dont live with him, but its also quite common for them to start to resent any time he spends with them once they are living together, which IS still an aspect of a maternal instinct on a psychological level
This is because to her, the "pack" then becomes her, him and HER offspring, anything devorted elsewhere is subconciously seen as being taken from the mouths of her kids, the ones she is maternally responsible for
In these instances the interest in his commitment to his own kids was merely to ake sure he would face up to the responsibility of raising her own, once thats established his continued commitments to his previous kids then becomes a bone of contention and sometimes subtly via sniping, prolonged silences, withholding sex and other methods he is subtly "trained" to spend less time with his kids and more time in the providence of hers and other times its openly and blatantly objected to by things like bemoaning him having them stay over even if it was known he had them for entire weekends before they lived together, making them feel unwelcome ot just avoiding being around them when they are there via various means or accusing him of still wanting his ex when he has to see her to collect them or for other reasons even if she is also already living with someone
So yeah, you would THINK a maternal instinct should preclude such behaviour, infact I was surprised myself when I started hearing accounts of it. But when you look below the surface at the intricacies of the maternal instinct its NOT a universal "all child" encompassing instinct, also, many single mums will have spent years having to account for everything down to the most minute detail and the last penny which creates in them a scarcity rather than an abundance mentality which in turn makes them fight for every ounce of every resource they can get whether its needed or not. And to them their mans time and money will be viewed equally as a resource
I do have to agree with an earlier poster, it is a pity more women dont have the same views you proport to have
and its far more common that you would have suspected | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/26/2007 5:49:27 AM | Oh yeah, almost forgot, its a discussion board and youre a stranger
Nothing you could ever say would offend me, I dont mean this in a nasty way, just stating fact
But words on a screeen stating the views of complete strangers are totally irrelevant and have no bearing whatsoever on my life mood or disposition, and when they DO start to affect you its time to stop logging on and grab some perspective
So causing offence is something you dont have to worry about | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/26/2007 6:01:59 AM | no 1 Single mothers aren't always to blame.
no 2 For every single mother there is usually a father some where.
no3 All the women who accuse men of molestation have been married to that man and he is the father of the children. this is a very common way for women leaving a relationship to use abuse of their ex's and to make sure that the mothers gain custody of their children. yes it is abusive and shouldn't be done but not all people are rational when leaving a relationship that has gone wrong.
No 4 You cannot be held responsible for the financial responsibility of another mans children in case of a break up of a relationship unless you want to. some men become adoptive fathers of children and continue that role even after the relationship with the mother breaks up.
no 5 there are lots of men who deny that their children are theirs when a relationship goes wrong. this is also a result of the pain of a relationship going wrong and an inability to deal with the problems being faced at the time of break up.
no 6 there are dna tests that can be done to prove who is the father of a child, alot of men are now doing these tests in secret. they are easy to do and the results are pretty conclusive.
no 7 nobody wants to raise a child on there own it is a very hard job for two people let alone one.
no 8 single parent have as many financial problems as happily married couples you don't have to pay for anyones kids if you don't want to. and i advise you not to if you want to donate to a charity see the smith family.
no 9 noboby will ever find the perfect family or partner. if your looking for that you will never be happy because it doesn't exsist.
no 10 good luck.
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/26/2007 6:22:06 AM | yahh roo
i dont know where u get ur ideas from but u are so far from the issue its not even funny
women dont accuse of molestation unless there is PROOF heard of it have ya.
yes women do put their kids first wether ur a single parent or married with a husband but the man doesnt come last id say it would be a tie.
if a single mother sponges off a guy its because shes looking for someone to move in and support her and her 10 kids and i say more fool u guys that fall for it.
im gathering some woman done a real number on u yahh or whatever happened to poison u against single mothers ..........................GET OVER IT or turn GAY because if ur not willing to open urself up ur going to be very lonely.
jo | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/26/2007 6:35:22 AM | cunning
as a step child id have to agree with what u just said in ur post my stepmother eventually got rid of me and my 2 brothers with a simple telegram.
if u expect someone to accept ur kids then u should acept theirs otherwise walk away ur only hurting the kids.
i can pretty much guarentee that ill be a stepmum one day i wont love the hild/ren as much as my son but i can guarentee i wont neglect them it goes both ways.
ive raised my son on my own since i gave birth with no help from his father that was my choice i stick by it but if a man was to come into my life i will not and wont allow him to take responsibility for my son he wasnt there when he was born he didnt help make him so y should a guy pay for someone elses kid.
i chose to live where i live so y should a guy pay my rent, or buy food or nething else for that matter.
u ladies that cant support urselves or ur kids ur hopeless u should never have had them if u cant support them.
to all the single men if uve copped a few baddies well for that im sorry but dont let it spoil u there are some genuine single mothers out there myself included.
jo | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/26/2007 7:38:54 AM |
spongebob
ive just read one of ur previous posts about how u sometimes pay for everything ...........more fool u love im not saying nething against all of u single dads but sponge some of them are just looking for someone to do the dishes lol ur making it easy for them by letting them think that ull pay for everything and theyre getting away with it they need to learn the same way we did the hard way.
sorry sponge but i dont agree with what ur doing
I can only please one person per day, today is not your day, tomorrow does not look good either.
You live your life the way you want and I will live mine my way. I dont think a man should have to pay for a date, especially if I asked him out. Times have changed were not in the 1900's anymore. I am more of a you pay this time, I will pay next time, type of lady....each to their own...If a man insists on paying fine but I dont expect it especially once the relationship is more serious. Oh and as far as the dishes go, I have a dishwasher and that also works both ways, you do them this time, I will do them next time.
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/26/2007 7:47:23 AM |
Single mothers. Well, here are MY issues with them
(This pertains to a woman who had a kid and never
married, or divorced her husband because "She wasn't
happy". If she had a good marriage and he died, then that is totally different and the below doesnt apply).
1: She decided to have a kid without a husband. This
demonstrates terrible, selfish values. It also shows
that she thinks of men as sperm donors ( the OP even called her daughters father by this derogatory term) and child
support payers, NOT husbands & fathers.
: Relationship aren't easy as it is. Add a minor
child and it really complicates the issue. Do you want
to deal with her kid(s) too? You won't be their dad
and they will know it.
Their mom already #$%#@# up their life by not having a
dad for them, and is $%^&^%$ it up more by bringing in
"Revolving door boyfriends" into their life.
There is NO reason to date one. Millions of women
in this country are single with no kids, and in every
age range. Go younger if you have to. Don't waste your
time with a woman that has PROVEN that she doesn't
want a husband for her and dad for her kids. Do you
think she will change her mind for you? That she will
forget her utter contempt for husbands and fathers
just for you? Sure she will.
I would be more than happy to get you a phone number you can call for counselling You need professional help
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/26/2007 7:53:27 AM | jonick Post 620, you will find that it IS actually quite common for women to make accusations of both child abuse (all/any form), or of violent behaviour towards themselves of threats of it in order to win ground in child access hearings with the hopes of either limiting an ex's accesss or having it denied where not only is there no proof but where its completely ficticious
Evidence is totally irrelevant, evidence is something that is needed for a criminal prosecution in a judiciary court, so those women wouldnt make that accusation there as doing so would be quite likely to see them jailed or fined
But, in a family court hearing they can claim whatever they want to claim and dont have to provide any evidence and its JUST a hearing to allocate access and isnt bound or confined by the rules that apply to a legal hearing as its merely a civil one (although often not THAT civil so I hear lol)
The reasons they would do this are pretty varied, some revolve around wanting to even some score or, if the dumped rather than the dumper just to get at the ex while they still can. But for some its more reasoned and is because some women think no other bloke would be interested if they had an ex hanging around, so they do their damndest to try and cut off ALL involvement in their life that ex has, which also includes them seeing their kids
In an "ideal" world all men would want to spend time with their kids and all women would want to encourage that, but we dont live in an "ideal" world, we live in the real world, and in the real world all of that and far worse DOES happen | |
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