| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/26/2007 9:11:20 AM | Byn:
I live in Canada and in Canada you can be forced by the courts and government to pay child support for your ex step children. It is the law here.
Jonick:
I tried to send you a message but you do not accept messages from someone over 34 years of age so please send me a message/e-mail.
I do love your attitude, It is refershing to read a post from a single mom that is realistic about dating. I do see your point about child moestors. Can I give you the perspective of a single man with no children that would not do anything to hurt a child? Okay here it is:
At the risk of sounding repetative I had one single mom who after date#1 went well invited me to her home for date#2. Okay fine but I did not know her well and did not know her 2 children who wrere ages 9 and 12. As a single man I would rather wait to meet the kids until things are established between the woman and myself (I think 6 months is too long 3 months is good for me but I am flexible on that issue as long as it is not too early in the dating process) I declined the invitation as I do not know what this woman may have coached her kids to say (while I believe most children do not make up child abuse stories I know of a few cases where the child made it up to get attention.) I also do not know at this point if the woman would make a faslse accusation of rape. So that fear does work both ways. I also have cerebral palsey and can be easily physically over powered so I do have my safety concerns too. If things go well and it is time to meet the kids all should be comfortable with it and not have the situation forced upon you.
Jonick I also have your back if other ladies attack you on this thread for agreeing with certain points men have
General post here:
A poster posted on this page what his reasons were/are for not dating single mom's and he was attacked so why ask a question if you do not want to get an answer. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/26/2007 9:20:14 AM |
A poster posted on this page what his reasons were/are for not dating single mom's and he was attacked so why ask a question if you do not want to get an answer.
John you're the only man that posted on this page so far. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/26/2007 9:26:52 AM | When I hit the post button it as close to the bottom of the previous page (the poster who got bashed) and my message was posted on the next page.
But seriously many give answers and get bashed for it...so why ask the question? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/26/2007 10:02:41 AM | well John when I read a post such as this:
She decided to have a kid without a husband. This
demonstrates terrible, selfish values. It also shows
that she thinks of men as sperm donors ( the OP even called her daughters father by this derogatory term) and child
support payers, NOT husbands & fathers.
then my opinion is that this person has sociological issues that need to be addressed by a professional counsellor. My childrens father was there father not a sperm doner, just because we did not get married doesnt mean a damn thing, other than we decided we didnt need a piece of paper to prove to one another that we loved each other. In the end it didnt work out ( 8 years ) we parted but both of us had a chance to raise our child and neither payed child support to the other. The father and I are still very much a part of our sons life even though he is a young adult now. And any man that expects me to be single or not date for the rest of my life because I have a child can kiss my ASS!!!! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/26/2007 11:06:49 AM | But wasnt the man who was "attacked" spouting extremely acidic generalisations many of which didnt quite meet the grade to be factual, but instead looked more like it was bitterness speaking
So yeah, these are forums, and as you pointed out someone shouldnt be miffed at a response, but arent the posts youre complaining about ALSO "responses"?
A discussion doesnt consist of only two posts, one from each of two people. They are ongoing and each response posted should also not be posted if the person doesnt want another response to their response
Which sort of makes your point a bit of a misnomer and borderline hypocrisy seeing as youre defending one persons right to respond whilst criticising other peoples right to respond to his responses to earlier points
Dya feel me?
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/26/2007 12:35:52 PM | Funny how this thread became so lost as it grew. So the answer is maybe. Some guys like dating woman with kids some dont. We have also discovered that responses of any kind are responses regardless of the point of view being offered up. I suppose that sums it up nicely. To bad ya'll ain't in Texas!!!!!! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/26/2007 12:43:31 PM | Cunning:
I see your point and agree with you. Anyone can post their views on these forums. I will say that the posts should be respectful even if many will not agree with them. My point is that many times a question gets asked and it is as if some people do not want an answer but a "feel good thread" Anyone can post a response to any post but please keep the name calling out of it..that is my point. As soon as a man posts resaons for not dating a single mom he is called shallow..rather than call the posters shallow why not ask what their reasons are and learn from it? Maybe they have had bad experiences and from them telling you their experiences you might learn what not to do in dating as a single mom.
I do think single mom's should be treated with respect. However I think a few posters on these forums should respect others as well. My major concern with dating a single mom is the the potential legal liability I could face for paying support for children I did not create. A single parent in some parts of Canada can collect support from more than one person for one child. It is not uncommon for a single parent to be collecting child support from the biological parent and one or more ex step parents/spouses as well. The law is scaring men away from single mom's (at least in Camnada and the OP Lives in Canada.)
Notsponge:
This is just my personal opinion but to me a single mother who has adult children is exempt from me not dating her as I would have minimal to no obligation to her adult child. In Canada you have to pay part of the child's university costs as well of the parent requests it...it is those with small children who already collect child support from 2 men for one child that worry me. (And yes a single father could be doing the same too.) | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/26/2007 12:55:40 PM |
My point
..has been done over to death in every thread you participate in. The only diff. is the title of said thread.
feel good thread"
..while the threads you start ask the same question over and over. They generally consist of "why do SM's want my money?" threads. AKA-pity me threads.
I do think single mom's should be treated with respect.
Great. Then you can start by washing off the same paint color thats on your brush. Case by case basis instead of lumping. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/26/2007 4:09:32 PM | spongebob
as u said everyone is different in the dating situation i agree with that what i do not agree with is the single mothers who take their kid/s on dates and expect the guy to pay for everything, or ask for rent money or bills to be paid it isnt right if the guy wanted to pay for everything he would have had the kid with u.
no u shouldnt stop dating sponge just dont allow guys to use u thats all im saying.
jo | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/26/2007 4:15:02 PM | johne
thanks for having my back i was thinking that women everywhere were going to hunt me down lol.
as i said before everywoman should follow my dating rules they are simple and not that hard to follow and if u dont have a bad attitude u might be able to keep him for a wk lol
jo | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/27/2007 7:25:31 AM | | to that statement i would have to say that a single mother like in my case the guy she is tryin to date willnever have to deal with the father he left and is never coming back. now in a single father situation the mother of that child is always around unless dead" not tryin to sound cruel but most women dont want to deal with the "baby mama drama" | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/27/2007 6:08:16 PM |
Giddy up
Shit...you put this shit up and that is my dream come true never thought about such ingenious way to sum up. You make men with good rationale and moral proud. Noone - not one motherf*cker says it better than you do. BOTTOM LINE -- dON't F.u.ck with single mothers because u will be f/u.cked beyond perception
Single mom or father ain't worth dating unless you have too much time and/or too much money on your hands
Keep up the good posts and make all good men proud...
Thanks
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/27/2007 7:34:08 PM | | ya know i get the same thing when ladies find out about my daughter....for instance i didnt tell her that i had a kid and 2 weeks later i kept the car seat in the truck and she was like its her or me you choose....needless to say my kid comes first | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/28/2007 3:51:42 AM | | I know from experience that if a Woman has one Child then the man is second and always will be.If she she 3 Kids then He will always be 4th .Men want to come first...I know kids are Moms priority and that is a Natural thing but when she keeps saying and I have heard it loads of times as well as read it in a load of profiles."My Kids Come First and Always will" then W omen need to understand they are giving out a signal to the Man that he will never Truely Have a Top Seat in Her Heart for Him because all the Top Seats are taken by the Kids....So He Runs.... | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/28/2007 4:46:28 AM | I think part of the problem here isnt one of coming directly after a child
Where there is a decision that IS a clear choice, IE going for a meal with a partner or having your childs birthday party then its obvious the bloke should lose out, and just as obvious that the bloke should not only expect to lose out, but, if there is any hope for the couple should WANT to lose out in that circumstance
But there arent many situations that fall into that criteria
Where its actually a problem is either where the single parent with lets say 2 kids, ALWAYS puts them first, totally
So even things that could be easily moved or altered to give some essence of equality to the partner on the none important stuff, some compromise and flexibility could happen it doesnt. Where the bloke is ONLY slotted into time thats left over , and in many cases where that spare time is what comes after her friends, work colleagues, down time and pretty much everything else
IE, she wants to carry on living EXACTLY as she did before starting a relationship, and is only willing to give up her spare time and not change anything at all compared to how she was before the relationship started
Thats like starting a job after being unemployed for a few years and STILL wanting to go to the pub for three hours every lunchtime, STILL wanting to watch a film every tuesday and thursday afternoon, STILL wanting to go out till 3am every night and STILL wanting to sleep in till 11
Try doing that when you have a 9-5 and see how it works out, and its no different with a relationship, BOTH people have to make some changes, infact both should WANT to make some changes to make time for each other, some of which to be time alone
On the flip side, some people DO actually want to take preceedence over someones kids, these people just shouldnt be dating someone with kids, and anyone with kids should have the self respect and consideration for their kids to kick them to the kerb instantly
Problem is that niether type tends to realise they ARE that type, and will almost invariably regard the other person as a member of the other group feeling THEY are the blameless victim
And also in a lot of cases both fit those profiles and neither is blameless and the relationship in all three variants is more like a battle of wits than a relationship and therefore just isnt worth having
Some single parents should just accept they cant function as part of a couple because they have just been on their own TOO long
And some people should just accept they dont have the maturity or confidence to date someone who has kids | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 10/28/2007 6:37:16 AM | I don't mind dating single mothers, but it seems almost impossible sometimes. I can understand children take priority in your life most times, but saying you want to date but never making the time doesn't make much sense to me.
I think some single parents need to schdule some time for themselves instead of always planning things around their kids. | |
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