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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/18/2007 10:43:12 AM | I listen to logical reasoning. I specialize in working with kids. Understand that some single mothers aren't truly looking out for the best interests of the child. They would rather fight with dad over money, time, children, anything..just to get into a drama with dad and "win"(but who really does?) is more important than the psychological and emotional damage they are inflicting on there child. I understand also that dad can be the aggressor showing young sons it is okay to push women. Then young son starts pushing and bullying at recess. Showing daughters what to possibly look for in a mate.
I am a mother and a father. At the park, I am there the days moms there or the day dad is there. Have met some great friends.Some are single parents. It's the fighting with the ex that bothers me. Not the children. I love kids. Would have and might still adopt.
My children have never seen fighting like that. I would not choose to blend my family into that. I also have preferences.
Some men might look at me and say, she gets no money.(Father signed away rights to children) For me, that was better. Some men might say she is out looking for my wallet because of that. It's there perogitive. Either way however I still would have done it that way. I wanted what was best for mine and so I weighed the pros and cons and decided no drama, get out early, take what is mine and leave the rest behind. Make a good life for self. Teach your children by example. I like good manners, myself. Affectionate children with a happy outlook is what I have. Though they are not perfect angels all of the time. I find in the grocery store observing people usually that my kids are awesome. Find a job. Find a life purpose. Find a way to balance and you will have accomplished alot. I tell this about myself to show other single mothers/fathers there can be hope, there can be light at the road we have chosen to travel. When you are enjoying your life. Law of Attraction is understood(you get what you focus your mind on) so better to use it for what you want not what you don't want, you meet like minded people. Whether they become someone you date or someone who becomes a lifelong friend. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/18/2007 4:09:00 PM | | I have no problems being friends with single mothers. What some single mothers do not understand/realize (not all but some as some do realize it) is that you can be a friend to the single mom and friend to the child or children without getting romantically involved with a single mom. Many forget about the friendship factor and paint men who will not date single mom's as shallow. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/18/2007 5:08:39 PM | | I've had the same problem, my son is no angel. For me they don't normally run till they meet him. It's hard I know..but keep looking I've met a couple men that have treated my son better than me...Unfortunately I felt no connection with them. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/18/2007 5:24:33 PM | This thread was started by a woman simply raising the question. I, and the other male respondents, were simply responding to her question. What's the beef?
I did not, and will not, bash all single mothers. I recounted my individual, albeit, painful experience. I moved on and continued to date single mothers, although my negative experience has certainly influenced my decision-making process. That can't be helped. It's only natural.
That's why forums, such as this one, were created. The woman raising the question now has a myriad of answers to why single men don't like single mothers. Hopefully, she will be able to digest the information and draw her own conclusions.
If I were to ask a question, I would hope to receive point and counterpoint responses, as well. However, respondents need not be subject to bashing from other respondents for communicating their SOLICITED OPINIONS.  | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/18/2007 6:27:36 PM | Buffettville:
If you read these forums you will find that many will bash those that do not agree with how a certain sub group thinks. I this case some single mothers (not all but some) will bash any man that responds and says that he will not date a single mother and provides valid reasons why he will not. Some (not all but some) want a feel good forum and do not feel people who are not single parents shuold post. But when they ask why no one will date single mother's who else can answer that question but men who do not date single mothers? | |
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Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 808 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/18/2007 9:02:26 PM | "Ok guys fess up tell me why kids make you run"d
This is not a simply clear cut dry question to answer. Each person is unqiue and has their own desires and wants.
Different guys run for different reasons.
Some men dont have kids, as is Johnes case and they do not want to be involved with kids that they did not create.
Other men scare easily from the seriousness involved with children.
Committment can be an issue.
Some men are immature, young and cannot handle children.
Some men feel rushed as some moms will introduce the kids early , drawing to the family way too quickly.
You will find single dads with children, more open to dating a single mom, than a single male with no kids. But that certainly is not the case for all single males without children. My ex wife remarried and he has no kids for example.
I've only touched this, but the bottom line is all guys are different and have different reasons for dating different people, weather its a lady with or without children. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/19/2007 12:31:24 AM | Im a single mother of two. I have the same problem. And yes, I get angry. Sometimes I wonder if my anger and lack of trust are rediculously obvious when I man looks at me. Do I have" screwed over single mom of two written all over my face?!!"
Maybe. I dont know if my personal insight will help answer your question. But in my opinion, single mothers seem to be stronger women with stronger personalities who know what they want. And why wouldnt they? Weve already" Been there and done that" with the father of our kids, and we are smart enough not to go there again! Yes, we know what we need, and we are not afraid to say it. I think this scares men. If your a struggling single mom they think your hunting down a daddy to take care of you and your kids. If your successful in your career, they are intimidated and afraid you might outshine them. Or maybe they feel you come with too much baggage or drama with kids and an obvious ex. Either way, your screwed. So how do we find a middle ground here? How can we attract a good man without having them run off as soon as they hear, " I have kids." Im going to call it the "first date dont ask dont tell policy." When Im out on my next date date, Im not mentioning that I have children. Its not that Im ashamed, I just dont want a man to be thinking about all those scarey things when hes looking into my eyes or whatever. I want him to find a connection with me as an individual first. I want him to look at me as a woman first, not a mom. Being a mother may be worth mentioning if we make it to a second or third date. But its nice to enjoy that first date without seeing the wheels turning inside of his head when the kid or kids are brought up. The cold hard reality is, single mothers are stereotyped by men. When a son goes home to their father or mother and says "Hey, Im in a relationship with this wonderful strong woman, and she has 2 kids" they dont get a big smile and a, "Im so happy for you." They get a great big look of concern and a " Are you sure your ready to go there, thats alot of responsability." or a "She sounds like trouble to me, how much exactly do you know about this woman?"
My profile clearly states that I have kids. And I dont have much luck, or I wouldnt still be here on POF. I truely beleive that one of the first things a man looks at if he reads our profiles at all, is that little section. Do you have children- Yes/ No. If you have Yes, more than 50 % of them move on to the next profile. Its a shame really. So I dont know about you, but I think Im willing to withold a lil of that info........atleast through the first date or first few POF chats. Men NEVER tell us everything up front. So why should we? Bottom line is that men have been brainwashed against single moms. .thats why they act like asses about it. Good luck to you. I hope this lil strategy works for me.  | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/19/2007 1:25:33 AM | Well I am a guy and I was a single dad while my two kids were growing up. Maybe if more guys brought up their kids rather than leave it to the mother when things dont work out then they would have a better understanding of what its like to try and keep a relationship going when one of you have kids. To be honest the reason why lots of guys dont date single mothers is because they are to lazy to make the extra effort it takes. They have to work just that little bit harder in the relationship and have to make allowances for the kids feelings too. Not all guys are up to the task but the few that are are often blessed with seeing the true potential of the single mother in all her glory. Dont worry girls there are guys who will stick around, and the ones that wont ain't worth it anyway.
Stewart. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/19/2007 3:22:04 AM |
OMG I thought it was just me. Thank you for making me realize I a not alone. Ok guys fess up tell me why kids make you run
Well firstly you have to understand that just because a woman CLAIMS its her kids that put a bloke off doesnt actually mean its true
Many men wont want to date a single mother because of HER
Because she is a neurotic nutjob
Because her "personality" is basically a collection of interwoven and unresolved issues, resentments, fears and negative expectations
Because she has no concept of treating a partner as either and adult or an equal because she spends most of her time with kids
Because she has spent far too much time on her own and just cant "do" relationships anymore
Because she has little to no inome but expects a lifestyle she cant afford to be provided
Because she doesnt have enough free time TO date someone
Because they arent sexually compatible
Because their personalities dont "gel"
and countless other reasons linked purely and totally to the mother
But they will rarely want to accept those are the reasons let alone say its the case even if they DO know the real reason the bloke ran for the hills, instead they claim it was because of their kids
Where it IS because of the kids however, sometimes it will be because of the ages as most people will have done their stint at parenting already and wouldnt choose to have another infant, so why on earth would they seek the exact same limitation via someone elses offspring?
Sometimes its the amount of kids someone has
Sometimes it will even be because of the possible significance to someone being single and on the hunt again when they have a child only a year or two old
Sometimes because the kids are totally out of control brats
Sometimes because the kids have been spoilt by the mum and resent overtly ANY attention their mum gives anyone other then them
Sometimes it will be because the woman tries to get the bloke to play happy families from the outset
Sometimes because they state quite blatantly that IF the relationship ever goes anywhere they shouldnt expect to have anything whatsoever to do with the kids re punishment and discipline even tho if they were ever living together they would be expected to financially and physically share in the day to day raising of them
Some women will display one or more of those traits or others, some none of them at all
But in the same way many women, and also many single mothers will refuse to date any drug users even tho SOME of them are perfectly suitable partners because they MIGHT have some of the negative traits seen in drug ABusers its just as reasonable for a man to avoid single mums en masse because of the likelyhood they might have one or more of those traits
Its only as unfair to the single mums who arent like that as it is to the drug users who arent strung out junkies, gander vs goose sorta stuff basically | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/19/2007 8:28:57 AM | There are many reasons why people will or will not date anyone. So for example this thread is asking why men will not date single mothers...fair enough. So should you not be seeking answeers from those who will not date single mothers? I have cerebral palsey. I am currently dating a nice lady. When I was not dating if I started a thread asking why no one will date a man with a disability it would do me no good to bash those that may provide answeers..if you do not want answers to your question do not ask the question. There are many good reasons to date or not date anyone we choose.
For those that say men who will not date single mom's are shallow or immature or too lazy...let me ask you this would you rather we keep silent on our reasons that we do not date single mothers. There are many good reasons not to date single mothers the same as there is good reasons for dating a single mom. it is a personal choice and last time I checked as long as we do not commit a crime we are free to make personal choices in Canada.
I have said this before but if you read these forums it can make the idea of dating a single mom a turn off. When someone explains why they will not date a single mother the single moms ascend "from upon high" to bash him. Not willing to understand another's perceptive on a public forum can say alot about someone.
For me personally..I have met some single mom's who are good peole and dated a few who were not great people. When you get the children brought along on date#1 it is off putting. When you get asked to buy things for children on date#1 2 or 3 it is off putting. When many single mom's do the same thing it creates a stereotype many experience. Plus we have laws in Canada that could make me pay support for step children if I marry a single mom and we get divorced..that is also a turn off.
I could date a single mom but to get seriously involved with them and their children through marriage just does not make ense as it could be a legal and financial liability so I do not bother taking the risk.
To single mothers who bash:
Would you enter a relationship were you were risking everything and the other person stood to gain everything but risked nothing? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/19/2007 9:30:04 AM | ^^^^^^^ Cunning_linguist ^^^^^^^
Good list and other comments, Again it boils down to what an individual is looking for and able to deal with, plus their age, where they are in their careers, ect…
Again using myself as an example like I did in my story a couple of pages back, let us look at where I was in my 20’s and how dating single Mothers just never worked out for either party.
20 something year old male, out of school, have a good job, enjoying a pretty good life .
I have no real responsibilities, or commitments to anyone but myself, I am free to come and go as I please, I can take off to the coast, the river, Vegas, ect… at the drop of a hat.
I have money, I can spend my money anyway I please, again nobody around to say otherwise.
My ideal partner is someone in essentially the same position in their own life.
Together we can run and play and basically be irresponsible 20 something kids together.
If things work out, we enjoy each others company ect… we can then plan for a life with each other, clean slate on both sides, no major past and or current issues to complicate our lives.
So as a single mom just what do you have to offer a freewheeling single guy that can offset the added baggage of young kids?
Obviously a 20 something single mom cannot just up and run off for the weekend, she can’t take advantage of the fact you just scored two tickets to tonight’s Skynard concert as she has no baby sitter. ( If your lucky she has no problem with you going without her, if not then you get the “ I can’t believe you’d go without me guilt trip”)
I could go on to list many other selfish self centered sounding reasons, but really it’s not selfish or shallow or self centered, it’s just that your lives are not currently compatible.
As any single parent will tell you, we come as a package deal, us plus our kids, unfortunately said package is sometimes a Pandoras Box.
Now, on to a couple of specific single mom posters, just as examples.
mustangsally0928 : You claim “ My profile clearly states that I have kids.”
I looked and no it doesn’t, under do you have kids you answered “prefer not to say” excuse me ??? this is a yes or no question, and you fail to mention kids anywhere else in your profile.
Perhaps the men you meet feel somewhat deceived to later have you spring the previously unmentioned kids on them, I know I would have when I was your age. And I’d be gone, not because of the kids, but because of the deception.
mad-cow : You at least mention you have two kids, however you don’t mention their ages.
As I’m roughly in your age group this is information that would be important to me, I.E. are we basically on the same or similar pages in life, however are your kids toddlers, tweens, or teens, as each brings with it different issues based on their ages.
Sadly also you are in Canada and will be dealing with the ‘Socialist’ Locco Parentis laws I’ve been hearing about, While I may have no problem dating we would definitely be maintaining separate households until our kids were 18.
little_mermaid : You also mention multiple kids, but also do not state their ages, now from the pics you have posted they appear to be close to my son’s age so we are atleast on somewhat similar pages in life and I would not avoid you based just on the fact you have kids.
brbdwre : You also mention a child but not his age, again looking back at when I was your age, I would want to know, as that indirectly affects all things when it comes to there being a relationship between us. But then you at least seem to know part of your problem,
“my son is no angel. For me they don't normally run till they meet him”
At least you know your problem, but can you resolve it ?
Now ladies please understand, I’m not picking on ya’ll, just thought I’d add a little perspective from a mans point of view, ya know since you asked and all.
Onward …… This was in another thread but felt it was pertinent …..
I saw this posted by a 30 year old single mom with a 13 year old boy:
When I hear a man has a kid(s), I'm thinking:
A. I'll never be a top priority. How much room does he have for me in his life?
B. How will he find time to get to know me? Have fun? Travel?
C. His income minus child support is not so condusive to the lifestyle I prefer.
D. Baby Mamma drama.
Though I don't rule out men with kids (and I do love kids) there are a lot more conditions on the situation I need to concider. That's just my reality.
Can you count the ME’s, in this post ? me me me me (she should sing opera)
And women have the nerve to claim we men are shallow ?????
Now just because the young lady above shows herself to be shallow, self centered and selfish, I would hardly lump all women into the same category, however it seems that because of the actions and behaviors of some men the rest of us get lumped into the ALL MEN ARE …… category way to often.
Oh well, to each his/her own, good luck to all !!!
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/19/2007 9:40:41 AM | Dont worry its not only men that run i,m a single dad with a 7 yearold boy but we all have some baggage in the closet just keep looking there is someone out there for all of us good luck... rod... | |
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btaf62
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Joined: 6/13/2007
Msg: 815 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/19/2007 10:02:59 AM | As mentioned before, it goes both ways. I am a single father with 4 daughters - and you think women run from you.
Bottom line is that people make judgements on people based on their circumstances not on the person themselves. I usually get along with many women but if they know that I have children, they move on. The big difference has been women with children or older women who don't have children for some reason or another but love children and can get past the single parent issue.
The bottom line is if they don't like single mothers, then either they are not mature enough to know a good thing when they see one or are just not interested in children. Either way, they are not the one for you. You just have to keep looking. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/19/2007 11:20:52 AM | OP,
I haven't really read the responses i just care about my response to you and that is. I can't believe you don't understand why that is and have to ask that question. I recommend listening to Tom Laicus you can google him to find out what station he is on where you live. He does an excellent job of stating how most men feel about another man's garbage. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/19/2007 11:36:25 AM | Oh man... OK... how bout single Dad perspective.
Kids are always a HUGE responsibility. For a single guy, taking on "another guys" kid is always a big challenge. Nothing says you had a past with another guy like a kid does.
He'll feel threatened or even possibly insecure enough that you may end up going back to "daddy" cuz it's a smart choice for your kid. Plus the fact that he may have to meet your "ex" face to face or that there will be the friendly reminder that he'll always be in YOUR life, even if it's disguised as a child. Besides, how the heck is a single guy supposed to understand how to raise someone else's kid?
He might feel that a kid is TOO much responsibility for him to help out, and even if you say, "it's not yours, don't worry, they have a daddy, I'm not looking for a daddy", eventually, it will lead to that at some point. And honestly, most men WILL see that as a fatherly nurturing aspect and will more than likely, take on that roll at the drop of a hat. We do like to take care of "ours" after all. Taking a leap of faith in that direction is a big and undaunting step for a single guy with few responsibilities other than how long can he get away with wearing the same pair of socks before they become TOO dirty.
He may feel that you won't have enough time, patience, strength, energy, etc to devote to him. We're men and we get a bit greedy when it comes to attention from women. Why do you think we always want our mommies when we're sick??? See where that attention comes from? It's bred into us growing up.
Scheduling with children is nightmareish. I've a lot of single mom friends and I tell you, a lot of times it's difficult to co-ordinate the time to meet up to socialize, never mind dating or a serious relationship.
A single guy would have to adopt his entire way of life to accomodate you and your child. You can't just up and leave to go out to a movie, dinner, etc and so forth. You and now he, will have to think about things like babysitting, taking the kid with you, etc, which will lessen their overall "good time" or "quality time" with you.
And then there's the overall cost. Kids are expensive to raise PERIOD! What single guy wants that? Tough call no matter how GREAT you are, in his mind, that's what's going on. That's just the way the male brain works... I apologize to you for our inbred genetic codes.
I'm a single Dad so I do understand both sides of the equation. Before I had my son, I dated women with kids, it's tough to do. And being a boy... we're lazy... we don't often stray from the easy path.
Hope that helped a little. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/19/2007 3:03:12 PM | I married a single mother of two "supposedly" adult daughters and it didn't work out, basically, because of a severe lack of discipline. She assigned them menial chores, which they rarely completed, which were followed by feeble threats that they knew would never be carried out. They played the woman I loved liked a fiddle.
But, since I was not their biological father and they considered themselves "adults," the family cat had more right to intervene than I did. Afterall, it was his litter box that wasn't getting cleaned. I, on the otherhand, was held in contempt for not becoming a father figure -- not for the daughters -- but for the youngest daughter's boyfriend. His "single" mother had gotten remarried and his new stepdad wouldn't give him the time of day. Hell, the boyfriend, of whom I had great relationship with, practically lived with us. He slept, with her daughter, in our house, at least five nights a week. I made my thoughts about that quite clear, but was told, in no uncertain terms, that he had been part of the "family" longer than I had. So, score the cat, 1, the boyfriend, 1, and the husband, 0.
Although this may sound like the trials and tribulations of a typical household, if not rectified, as in this case, the future reflects the past. Shortly after we separated, the eldest daughter was charged with forgery and got away with it because her mother refused to prosecute. Then, three months later, the same daughter took a man's life in a hit-and-run while she was drunk. She got time served while awaiting trial and then released to her mother because she had no prior convictions. Justice? Discipline?
In the meantime, they both became pregnant out of wedlock, one for the second time.
Now, it appears, there are three more single mothers wondering why single men don't like single mothers.
Oh, I almost forgot, she divorced me because she wasn't happy being married, anymore. That was the extent of the explaination I got from her. Her parents apologized to me, the "best guy their daughter ever met," and told me I was better off without her. So, no, I didn't tuck tail and run. I still loved her. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/19/2007 4:13:57 PM | Yes to be sure Tom Laicus spews alot of garbage. Certainly for me I would not be attracted physically or mentally to a fan of Tom Laicus. Certainly if your looking for a man who might be a little dim on the classy scale that would be a good venue.
Date who who you will. My kids are younger, I don't feel the need to bring them into my dating whether that is online or whatever. Here don't feel I have to say anything about them. A picture paints a thousand words. Out in the world people have approached me with or without my kids.
Sometimes one of them will push me to go talk to a guy because he is the right size or has a laker hat like mom. I have found that as sometimes I can be reserved quiet my kids have helped me to be more approachable. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/19/2007 8:00:08 PM | | Mustang - I think it's only fair that the guy knows that a woman has children up front. It's a very important factor that shouldn't be left out. And think about it this way, those same factors that make dating a single mom daunting to many childless guys are at the same time attractive to many single dads. Why? It's a matter of being at the same stage in life and having alot of similar experiences and likely a similar lifestyle. All other things being equal, it seems to me that it's best that single parents date other single parents and vice versa. There are always rare cases where the opposite works. But more often than not, heartache is the result. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/19/2007 11:20:14 PM | Just letting you know, I removed the Yes from "Do you have kids" section and the rest of my profile last night after I left that post. Its only been one day, and Ive already gotten twice as many emails. Before last night, my profile did clearly state that I had children. Though I did not have an entire paragraph devoted to them in my profile, It did state I am a single mom new to this area.....I chose to delete that info after reading several of the posts that men had left. After reading some of those posts I felt I needed to make that change in order to prevent men from holding my motherhood against me ans skipping me all together. I dont beleive not telling a man that you have children on a first date or first chat is a deception. I changed it to Prefer not to say. Putting NO would have made it a deception. It gives me the opportunity not to be judged on the spot. From what Ive read, thats exactly what men do when you mention you have kids right away.
I dont need anyone to be my sugar daddy and help care for me and my children financially, and I dont want them to think that. I am not needy or poor. I am very successful in my career and I make a better living than most married couples. I own my own home and all that good stuff. So you men arent happy about women mentioning they have children right away, and your not happy about women waiting a measly date or two before bringing it up either. I think we deserve the right to have men see us as individuals first. Thats all we want. Its like we are being branded or something. I am a woman who is sexual, enough room in my heart to give as much love as I get, I do have time for a meaningful relationship, and my children are not infant lil screaming brats. (15 and 10). I find that most of you men out there are just worried about how much of our attention you may or may not get because not only do we have kids, but we have jobs. Well, yes we work too just like you men do. We arent all on public aid. My kids are old enough that yes I can pick up and go out for a nice night out. I dont have to worry about a sitter and things like that. But you men dont even ask those types of questions. You just assume we are all needy people who wont be able to give you 100% and that all our children are infants or brats. In some cases, maybe it is like that. But not here. I explained why I am choosing not to mention I have kids on the first date. I think after reading some of the comments men have left that I have validated exactly why. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/20/2007 12:01:23 AM | I put that i have a child, and even talk about him (and his age) in my profile.
Mustangsally.... of course you are entitled to choose when is the appropriate time to mention being a mother, and you sound like an excellent one I'm sure.
But for me, although i wouldn't bore a woman to death with my son's exploits, I would consider it a natural part of the getting to know each other.
I love to hear what makes someone else happy or proud and it also give s me an insight about whether we may or may not be compatible. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/20/2007 2:41:14 AM | | well said... u have restored my faith in genuine guys, i once went out with someone who i loved and still do, he got to know my son afte a few months when i thought the time was right, only for him to tell me " if you were on ur own it wood be perfect, but u have a son, i cant be with u " and ever since then i have not bothered with anyone. my son is my best friend and will always come first. he is my world | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/20/2007 6:10:31 AM | i'm a single mum too, i understand your frustration, but i can also understand why some guys wouldn't wanna take on a "ready made" family..
sometimes it's because of the kids father - will he always be creating additional stress.. is he someone who belongs in the "ex-files" or as a poster boy for "psycho ex"..
sometimes it's because he fears he could never love another mans' child as much as he would his own so doesn't wanna get involved
sometimes it's because he doesn't want to take on the responsibility of another man's child... he wants to harvest his own oats, so to speak..
sometimes it's because he doesn't like children
sometimes it's because he's done with raising kids and wants to sit back and relax now
sometimes it's because he doesn't like the way the kid/kids are being raised and disagrees with the parenting
sometimes it's because he wants a "girlfriend" figure, not a "mother" figure in his life, someone independent and free to come and go as he is
sometimes it's because he's scared at the prospect of children, never had much to do with them and isn't sure if he's ready for a family, is uneasy as to how he'd fit in
sometimes it's because he fears it'll be an additional drain on his finances/time/whatever, that he's not willing to risk
and sometimes he doesn't wanna date a single mother because he doesn't wanna risk hurting someone (both woman and child) who have already been through enough and he knows he's not ready for a long term commitment
to each their own
but ya know, that makes the guys who *are* willing to be involved in a family of more than one, even more special, because you'll know that they wanna be there.. they choose to be part of your family, even with the extra stuff that entails (and isn't it better to know after the first date or so that they're not gonna hang around, before hearts and hopes are involved)
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/20/2007 7:09:05 PM | Let's be honest. Most men do not want to date you and your daughter. They want to date you. You should make it clear that you are not looking for a father for your child, you are looking for a companion for yourself. It is an obvious given that as a single mother you are a package deal.
@english lass -- well said | |
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