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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/20/2007 7:41:30 PM | John, I try so hard not to single you out, even to avoid threads you are participating in, but you make it difficult!
<div class="quote">Would you enter a relationship were you were risking everything and the other person stood to gain everything but risked nothing
What the hell kind of comment is that?!
Doesn't everyone take a risk in entering a relationship? If anything, those with children take more of a risk, since their children as well as themselves, could be hurt. How could you, who purport to be so "pro family values" not see that? If you are talking about financial risks only, rest assured there are plenty of golddiggers who have yet to procreate. Relationships are about matters of the heart, not the pocket!
None of my business, I know, but I suggest you either buy a bride overseas, or seek counseling. Easier, & cheaper; get your head out of your ass! | |
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~*~
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Joined: 10/7/2007
Msg: 827 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/21/2007 1:38:39 AM |  ^^^^^^^^^^^
 "AMEN TO THAT"
I've said this once,i will say it again.
"What happened to Sharing and Love" Where do all these "VILE" money orientated men come from???????????????
Is this how your Mothers taught you to be, "SHALLOW"!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/21/2007 3:00:50 AM | Thats a very reasonable view of things Enlish,, Its nice to see that some women do look at all of the possibilities instead of just shouting the odds, but isnt it also fair to say that 99% of single mothers stae thry have children on their profiles, and as such,, any one that may show interest would have seen the fact that you have children,, so unless that particular man,, would like you to be something other than yourself,, then I really dont see why the hell they would contact you !!
But not all men are that shallow, happy fishing English.
Andy
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/21/2007 7:40:49 AM | Well having counselled loads of men who had been the only earner in their relationship/marriage and then when it ended found themselves living in a bedsit or small flat with a few boxes of possessions while their ex, and often her overlapping replacement were living in the house they had spent years or even decades earning the money to pay for it I'd hardly call it "shallow" if they had learnt from the experience and were being far more cautious next time round really
It seems that most of the time when a woman is criticising a man showing some reticence and common sense about protecting the things he has accrued BEFORE meeting someon they havent really got much to lose themselves and are the lower earner of the two
But when a woman is the higher earner OH BOY do many of them whinge and whine about not wanting to date someone on a lower income and not wanting to "support" someone with "their" earnings, usually preferring to meet someone on a similar or higher wage
So its hardly the case that women are excluded from not funding someones elses lifestyle that person cant afford by themselves is it? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/21/2007 9:46:58 AM | ^^^^^ Have you noticed that when a woman says "money is not important", she always leave the "HIS" out of it?
But hey, it's "for the children", isn't it?
"What happened to Sharing and Love" Where do all these "VILE" money orientated men come from???????????????
Let's see. Family court. Seeing our brothers, fathers, uncles, etc. being shafted by divorce. Seeing our mates being evicted from their houses and from their children's lives by a vengeful ex-wife. Reading about how a woman can marry a guy for a few years and ditch him, taking a big part of his fortune and securing spousal support in the thousands of dollars. Seeing men being made pay for children that aren't theirs. Reading about false DV accusations, restraint orders, etc., while some women, instead of trying to understand why we are wary, dismiss all our concerns with a "you're shallow" (of course, being concerned about my own wellbeing is shallow).
Do I need to continue? If you think we're "vile" because we are interested in our own wellbeing, you only confirm our misgivings: you don't care about what happens to us, provided that "your" needs are being met.
Is this how your Mothers taught you to be, "SHALLOW"!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm better being "SHALLOW!!!!!" than being "BROKE!!!!!!"
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/21/2007 3:09:31 PM | Its the instant family from RONCO. Yes you to can have all the responsibilities, heartache, pain, and joy of a real family. Simply add money and stir!
Side effects may include loss of retirement, bankruptcy, homelessness, despair, and depression.   | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/21/2007 4:44:55 PM | Well, I think we already defined why men don't date single moms.
About why single men don't LIKE single moms.... because they love to dismiss all the important issues of a relationship with a "he's shallow". I don't like women who think men should sacrifice their lives in the alter of her and her children's needs. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/21/2007 5:56:35 PM | Mlsaarln:
I live in Cnada...we are forced by the courts to pay child support for ex step children if you marry or live common-law with a single parent that has cstody of children from past relationships. There are many collecting support from ex step dad and bio father for the same children. Some collect from several men for the same child.
In addition to the emotional drama. It is just easier for me to get serious about someone who does not have children then I can have my own family and not the responsibility of someone else's family. | |
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Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 834 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/21/2007 7:06:26 PM | "we are forced by the courts to pay child support for ex step children if you marry or live common law"
That is incorrect. I have posted cases where there has been marriages and there was no support ordered for the ex step children.
ONLY in cases where the marriage or relationship was longer in duration or more significant does the court order support. There are many issues and factors involved before a judge will order such support. Usually the parent has to take over the "parent role". Stop making it sound so cut and dry that you automatically have to pay support...its not that easy. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/21/2007 7:17:20 PM | | Actually, even if a couple has been together for 10 years, there may still be NO support given. My ex is the only real father that my daughter knew. I receive no CS from her stepfather. I never asked for it and the judge never ordered it. It goes on a case by case basis. For anyone to say that it is automatic is incorrect. For anyone to say that it must be long term and that the step parent must take on the role of parent for this to affect them is also incorrect. The courts determine this. I am not the only case in Canada for which this is the case. It is irresponsible to give a blanket statement which is incorrect. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/21/2007 7:37:18 PM | You see Canoe, you're missing the point. Ok, so you didn't ruin his life. That was your decision. But, if you had decided to make of his life a living hell, you would have all the backing of the law to do it.
That's the thing. You call irresponsible to give blanket statements. It is more irresponsible to gamble your life and wellbeing on a woman's decision. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/21/2007 9:26:59 PM | I am well aware of where you live, John & I agree that, at least on the surface, that doesn't seem fair. However, that has nothing at all to do with what I was saying, unless of course you believe that all single mothers look for men to have relationships with for the sole purpose of breaking up with them & collecting cs. Single mothers (or fathers, for that matter) are not a subspecies unto themselves! If you pick a user, you get used, period! Unfair legal treatment is no excuse for judging those who may benefit from it. Does every single mother in Canada go to court to enforce this law upon the stepparent of their child(ren)?
I have stated before & will say again, I have no problem with anyone's choice of whom to date. If your fear of possible financial loss is so great, don't get involved with single parents, but why the need to incessantly slam all single mom's? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/21/2007 10:04:58 PM | Oh wow,
I'm new to Plenty Of Fish, and just found this particular forum. I realize I may be a bit late in this reply, but cannot resist after reading this. Goddard, what to say to you? I have never seen anyone try so hard to purposely come across as such a Pedantic Arse.
Is this your version of the "mental masturbation" you were referring to in your earlier post? It seems quite clear to anyone reading that your not letting anyone in on the "real" action.
Also, you may want to have that inferiority complex assessed.
Then with any kind of luck you can find a forum that actually is of your own interest. (Not self-serving of course).  | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/22/2007 12:12:52 AM |
Does every single mother in Canada go to court to enforce this law upon the stepparent of their child(ren)?
Well not being in canada I can only assume/hope thats not the case
But firstly, women who earn enough to not even have the option of doing this will, I suspect be no more or less wary of dating someone on a lower income as women do tend to be far more "worried" about that mismatch than men even when there are no kids involved
Secondly, as someone being "that type" wont be apparent or detectable until you DO split up, just exactly how is someone to know a single mum IS that type when they initially meet or mail them or at any point until they break up? Without tattoos on their foreheads or a dating form of a pre nup which I would guess would be worthless anyway its impossible to tell, so even if it was only 10% who would, 100% COULD and theres no way to know if your "1" falls into the 90% or the 10% is there
I have stated before & will say again, I have no problem with anyone's choice of whom to date. If your fear of possible financial loss is so great, don't get involved with single parents, but why the need to incessantly slam all single mom's
But that I DO agree with lol | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/22/2007 12:55:12 AM | | I think i can answer your question. I have dating single mothers but when it comes down to the kid its always on the back of your mind the kid is not yours or the father will get involed many men are just scared i think | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/22/2007 9:15:41 AM | See part of the problem here is that I live in Ontario. In Ontario if a single parent has to apply for welfare guess what welfare does? They force the parent applying for welfare to sign a document allowing welfare to garnisshee the pay cheques of the other bio parent and the most recent ex provided the ex lived with that parent and child for 12 consecutive months. If they do not sign the document they do not get welfare. So even if single mom does not want support from ex step dad she may be forced to take it.
See often we do not know what a person will do after a break up. I briefly dated a woman who told me that if I got seriously involved with her, her and her daughter were a package deal and if I ever left she would make me pay. She also complained alot because her ex was going to court to get visitation rights and she felt that any man she was with was her child's father. I asked her if we had a child together and broke up what would happen? She said I should just shut up and pay and she would do what ever she could to stop me from seeing the children as it woud not be convienant for her and any man she is with is the father. See how some people think? That is enough to scare anyone off.
I do not wish to risk being held in loco parentis so to be 100% safe I do not date single mothers. That way I will not be responsible for someone else's responsibility.
To all of you who defend single mothers what do you say about those who collect child support from multiple men for one child? Does that pattern not send off warning bells?
What do you say to anyone that thinks making someone pay for someone else's child?
It is clearly unfair. Plus dating single moms is too much drama..drama I do not have in my current relationship with a woman who does not have any children. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/22/2007 10:47:05 AM | It is clearly unfair. Plus dating single moms is too much drama..drama I do not have in my current relationship with a woman who does not have any children.
I am happy for you, John. You overcame a challenge. We all have challenges to overcome or conquer. Reasons for living this life. You more then anyone should know how it is to have a challenge(s) to face in this lifetime. People who have faced and conqured a challenge should be hope for others. If this makes me sound like a do gooder( as I believe the cunning one suggested somewhere along this blog of slam.)
so be it.
Happy Thanksgiving to all. The men who won't date us, The men who hates us.
The men who want more. The men I adore. Even to those men, who were shown the door. (or maybe they ran as fast as they can with wallet in tow and a legal doc. )
Really though don't date us. Better for everyone when you know what works for you. But to hate on people and not like people(which is the title of this post) based on there parent status seems not only futile but even ridiculous. The people who dissed you in some way are the ones who deserve your scorn not a stranger out in the world or the single parents who live down the lane.. | |
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Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 843 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/22/2007 10:52:29 AM | haha ^^^^obessed by any chance?
i love how i come into the forums and read the same thing from you. In various threads to boot.
"i do not wish to be held in loco parentis so i do not date single mothers"
ok thanks for the feedback...we have heard you state this ohhhhh about 500 times.
"what do you say to anyone that thinks making someone pay for someone else's child"
"its clearly unfair"
WRONG..its not unfair if that someone took over the parent role and played a significant role in the childs life..Why after so many years should he/she be able to bail tuck tail and run.
"plus dating single moms is too much drama"
really well i think dating someone with an obession, addiction to educate others about single moms would be the KING of too much drama. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/22/2007 11:24:27 AM | | So why is it fair to collect support from mu;ltiple men for one child? Why is it fair that the government comes after you to lower welfare payments. You not not predict the future so as I result I will protect what is mine. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/22/2007 4:32:42 PM | Here is part of the problem:
If you say you do not wish to date single mothers (many not all but many) will bash you for it. It is like saying those of us who will not date single mothers are strange. In fact we are very normal so is anyone who chooses to date or not date anyone. If you want more dating options maybe you should get loco parentis laws changed.
I have a few friends that are single mothers. Do I hate single mothers? No I do not. I just do not want that lifestlye for myself and all of the risk and drama. If I am to change my lifestyle it will be for my own flesh and blood or for a child I adopt. I will not change it to suite someone else's responsibility.
Just because you will not date a single mom does not mean you hate single mothers.
We have choices and I am free to make mine. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/22/2007 5:05:22 PM | Ah, now I see :
In Ontario if a single parent has to apply for welfare
Welfare mothers make better lovers! (heard of Neil Young?)
Please, John, get back to your current relationship & leave the single moms alone!
Happy Thanksgiving! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/22/2007 7:56:24 PM | | No rock hunter I'm not missing the point. So I did not go after him. Big deal. CS is not for the former partner. CS is for the child. In Canada, even if you turn down CS, the courts usually ignore this and appoint someone to represent the child. They will then apply for support on behalf of the child. It could be that my ex got lucky with the judge that dealt with us. Who knows why they didn't in my case. I am just proving the point that you can not make a blanket statement which says that something will happen when it is not guaranteed that it will. You can not say that you will be held liable for CS of someone else's child if your relationship splits up when it is not guaranteed to apply to all. My case proves this. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/22/2007 8:13:12 PM | Emigrate to North Carolina, I have never heard of such a crazy law. Why should any woman expect the step-father to pay child support? The biological father should be required, the adoptive father should be required, the step-father who raised the child from infancy til separation from the mother is iffy. I can understand why men in states or countries who are required to support children who are not theirs would avoid getting involved, but what about where there is no legal requirements? | |
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