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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/29/2007 8:05:52 AM |
Not sure why you cry foul,
I cried foul because you said that women think men are shallow & self centered for not wanting to date single moms, that's all.
As to you, John, many have had bad experiences dating, period! I'm trying not to pass judgment, but I do suggest that you look inward, as you seem to attract "users". Why on earth you would date someone who brings ANYONE, let alone their children, to their first meeting with you is beyond me! Yes, your law seems, on the surface at least, unfair, but there are lots of women who will take your money, if you let them. The quality of an individual that causes them to take advantage of others does not come from having experienced childbirth, you know. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/29/2007 8:26:26 AM | When "In the bests interests of the child" is used an excuse it can make you rather cautious. Governments use that phrase to justify certain laws and courts do the same.
When single mother's use the phrease it makes me more nervous. I have my opinion and my choices and no one can make me change my mind.
I have a choice and will exercise my choices. I may be open to dating single mom's when the laws change and I meet one that does not want me to just support her and her child. Untilthen...I will not do it. | |
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Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 879 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/29/2007 10:01:25 AM | "The quality of an individual that causes them to take advantage of others does not come from having experienced childbirth, you know"
Exactly.
If your being used, it your own fault for allowing it. Make better choices as to who you date.
Look within there single mother critic.
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/29/2007 12:47:51 PM | I have never been used by someone that did not have children.
What about the women who have muliple children with mutiple men? Or those who collect support from multiple men for one child? Why could these women not make it work with one of the father;s or the father figure for the sake of the child? | |
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Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 881 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/29/2007 3:13:21 PM | | ^^^^OMG, your way to close-minded...People change Johne thats why. No one should stay with someone just because of the kids...Sometimes it is better to move on and often times when that takes place, all involved are more happy. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/29/2007 4:42:05 PM | Men are put off single mothers coz they know they will always come a poor second to the kids.
Also a man wants to spend quality time with a woman, thats hard if there is a kids sat across the room.
There is also the cost of looking after someone elses kids.
Why would I want to bring up another mans child ? | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/29/2007 8:48:38 PM |
What about the women who have muliple children with mutiple men? Or those who collect support from multiple men for one child? Why could these women not make it work with one of the father;s or the father figure for the sake of the child? Probably not unlike the women who get multiple gifts from multiple men. As far as the women not making it work, had no idea it was solely up to the woman to "make" a relationship work. In a erfect world, the grass is always green & men & women alike live up to each other's expectations. Alas, this is not a perfect world.
I will take you at your word, but I have to tell ya, John, your posts point toward the fact that you easy prey, in a sense, for the type of woman who would use a man. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but neither I,nor any of my friends who have kids have ever used a man for his money. I have never even introduced my kids to a man, let alone brought them with me on a date! Who one chooses to date is their own business & I would never try to convince anyone otherwise. Dating single parents is akin to dating two three (or more) people at the same time. i cannot help but be offended, I guess, when you seem to talk about single moms collectively, though, as if they are all of a type & all responsible for their failed relationships. Personally, I have met some pretty f'd up men, incapable of sustaining relationships, who have never procreated. My theory hasn't changed; users will be users, regardless of parental status. If they didn't use the fact that they have kids as an excuse for their character flaws, trust me, they would have those same flaws & find other variables outside themselves on which to blame them.
Date whomever you choose, but in plain English, STOP PICKING ON US | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/29/2007 8:58:25 PM | | I, for one, prefer single moms. Being a single dad, I'd rather date a single mom as she will understand the demands I have on my time. And her being a single mom, and that I love kids and love being a dad, its a bonus in my eyes. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/29/2007 10:29:40 PM | Men are put off single mothers coz they know they will always come a poor second to the kids.
Also a man wants to spend quality time with a woman, thats hard if there is a kids sat across the room.
There is also the cost of looking after someone elses kids.
Why would I want to bring up another mans child ?
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Exactly.
Actually wrong - a poor second is still f*cking good considering if the b*tch has 2 kids hopefully from the same man - sometimes 2 kids with different fathers and YOU WILL BE A MISERABLE THIRD TO THE KIDS -- ain't that a b*tch -- you will be one sorry ass motherf*cker paying the motherf*cking bills and literally become the **** of the relationship..Most likely to happen if the mom has a sh*tty job and the kids are still young.. So to all those men, take caution when going into long term relationship -- THE RISK is there but whether it will happen is definitely likely. Everything is risky in life and FORTUNATELY, SOME risks are avoidable if more awareness and logic-consequence are involved. Please use your head -- not because a mom with 2 kids is super hot -- you have to get to live with her -- YOU MIGHT GET STUCK if you follow the HEAD between your legs.. Use the real head and brains... Getting laid is not worth sometimes for a lifetime of suffering.
AGAIN, surprisingly i will date a single mom with 1 kid if SHE HAS A BETTER job than I do and if the father is cool or absent in the picture. I BELIEVE everyone makes mistake and should be given a second chance cause sometimes, sh*t happens beyond anyone's control. Otherwise, I WILL move the f*ck on if the mom has a shitty job and she always fight with the bf/husband/ex..and she has 2-3 kids...F*ck that...
Not one decent man would like in his right f*cking mind to wipe the ASS of another man -- sort of -- you f*ck up -- you clean up your sh*t
I am not a LEYKIS follower - AND yes i will date single mom (SEE ABOVE EXPLANATION).. some mommies were f*cked over by their ex and I am not going to punish them for that...some mommies are hot and great to date and they have a motherly instinct -- they are more mature than some young ass biatches who only care about partying and getting their ass drunk and fight over money and shit like that | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/29/2007 10:41:43 PM | Mad-cow
OMG I thought it was just me. Thank you for making me realize I a not alone. Ok guys fess up tell me why kids make you run.
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Kid make us RUN like crazy because of their mommies who POTENTIALLY make us VERY LIKELY TO pay the motherf*cking bills UNLESS the mommy has a good job, then i know that she ain't looking for a sugadaddy. Otherwise, most likely a gold digger in search for someone to contribute to the bills....I mean if you have a single mommy who makes minimimum pay -- how the f*ck do you expect her not to ask you money all the times.kids got activities and shit like than.
I WOULD TOO if i was a single mom and I got one rich ass bf -- I will make sure I get my FAIR share ---thanks god i am not a single mom or someone will be broke..... you cannot DEFEAT HUMAN NATURE ---- nuff said | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/29/2007 10:51:44 PM | MUSTANG SALLY WROTE:
Im a single mother of two. I have the same problem. And yes, I get angry. Sometimes I wonder if my anger and lack of trust are rediculously obvious when I man looks at me. Do I have" screwed over single mom of two written all over my face?!!"
Maybe. I dont know if my personal insight will help answer your question. But in my opinion, single mothers seem to be stronger women with stronger personalities who know what they want. And why wouldnt they? Weve already" Been there and done that" with the father of our kids, and we are smart enough not to go there again! Yes, we know what we need, and we are not afraid to say it. I think this scares men. If your a struggling single mom they think your hunting down a daddy to take care of you and your kids. If your successful in your career, they are intimidated and afraid you might outshine them. Or maybe they feel you come with too much baggage or drama with kids and an obvious ex. Either way, your screwed. So how do we find a middle ground here? How can we attract a good man without having them run off as soon as they hear, " I have kids." Im going to call it the "first date dont ask dont tell policy." When Im out on my next date date, Im not mentioning that I have children. Its not that Im ashamed, I just dont want a man to be thinking about all those scarey things when hes looking into my eyes or whatever. I want him to find a connection with me as an individual first. I want him to look at me as a woman first, not a mom. Being a mother may be worth mentioning if we make it to a second or third date. But its nice to enjoy that first date without seeing the wheels turning inside of his head when the kid or kids are brought up. The cold hard reality is, single mothers are stereotyped by men. When a son goes home to their father or mother and says "Hey, Im in a relationship with this wonderful strong woman, and she has 2 kids" they dont get a big smile and a, "Im so happy for you." They get a great big look of concern and a " Are you sure your ready to go there, thats alot of responsability." or a "She sounds like trouble to me, how much exactly do you know about this woman?"
My profile clearly states that I have kids. And I dont have much luck, or I wouldnt still be here on POF. I truely beleive that one of the first things a man looks at if he reads our profiles at all, is that little section. Do you have children- Yes/ No. If you have Yes, more than 50 % of them move on to the next profile. Its a shame really. So I dont know about you, but I think Im willing to withold a lil of that info........atleast through the first date or first few POF chats. Men NEVER tell us everything up front. So why should we? Bottom line is that men have been brainwashed against single moms. .thats why they act like asses about it. Good luck to you. I hope this lil strategy works for me.
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Finally after reading 1 trillion threads, I found someone who will admit THE TRUTH - snap back to reality literally -- I am sure if you were a man and dating - you would be just like them JUST BECAUSE YOU are on the other side, you see things differently - step in our shoes and you will MARVEL A DIFFERENT WORLD..AT least you dare to say the truth...and about NOT TELLING THE MAN on the first date -- this is so wrong --- does not matter if there is connection or not -- the kids is a turn off anyway - better be upfront rather than f*ck with his mind and get his ass entangled in a bunch of shit that he wishes he never met you..maybe that IS WHY MEN DO NOT WANT TO DATE SINGLE MOM because they only learn that they have kids after the first date - the motherf*cker feel betrayed and lied and he will be angry -- hence leading to all these threads...TRUTH hurts but it is the only way to reveal compassion..and patience is definitely a virtue...Peace out | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/29/2007 11:00:22 PM | SALLYMUSTANG
prefer not to say is YES for me cause if you do not have children -- it will be A DEFINITE NO - PREFER NOT TO SAY means YES to me
-Most men know this shit and would not f*ck around anymore...YES or NO is not that hard - -- it would not change jack even if you have kids or not...he will find that soon the HARD way AND i feel sorry for him - the sweetest deception..he will lose all his trust in you and it will be worse to even proceed further | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/29/2007 11:14:44 PM | dzine107
you damn right - now you see both pictures of the story -- who can blame us after all we are logical beings
I honor your honesty and unbiasedness in admitting the BIG WHY
Good luck in your search! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/30/2007 3:01:09 AM | parkerkimm,
YoYo........so I guess it is safe to assume..you like your Bi tche s........single? ones who are trainable?...no baby mamma drama?.....just a lil yummy mummy once in a while?
Pull your pants up....straighten your hat...and get off your momma's couch!...there is more to life than video games and a selfish attitude.
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/30/2007 7:22:50 AM | Luzbeth:
You know I respect you so this post is not directed at you.
If I did not bring the kids into the world or adopt them why should I play "daddy"?
I coach kids softball teams you can be a positive influence on a child with risking the potential liability that comes from living with or marrying a single mom. I am looking long term so I aviod single mothers. I do not want to pay for someone else's child.
Plus you have to get to know not just the woman but the child and if the child does not like you then what? You are done in the relationship. I dated one woman who's child told me I ws not her father and she would never listen to me. Okay fine but why persue a relationship where it would only be a battle?
You are not on equal footing when you date a single mom. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/30/2007 3:41:54 PM | | Well, let me tell you..Have never had a problem with mom's and siblings. Its a fact of life. If you want to call it a package deal, so be it. Have dated over the years and have never tried to be a dad to the ladies children because they already have one. But have always been a friend to thier kids. Me, I have been a single working fulltime DAD since my son was 18 months old. Remember..toilet training, no problem here. My son is now 17 and is in the air cadets..Good kid and going to Graduate high school this year. Oh i forgot to tell you my ex pays me support as well... 100 bucks a month doesn't go very far for the last fifteen years but its all good. I am only a 6% demographic in Canada. Being male and supporting and watching a child grow. I have dated and women always seem to wonder what its like to be a ready made mom. will never happen. He has a mom!! Just think the guys that turn around and run did it with their last relationship/marriage..who knows. Relationships can be a funny thing. Me, kids are the greatest but they know a fake when they meet em......TC just my opinion | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/30/2007 4:58:12 PM | Really classy...this single mother will stay single if this is what the pond is offering.
For me the TRUTH would be keep this guy from raising kids..being around kids. Gives me the creeps when guys refer to women as biatches and hos..you have a mother. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/30/2007 4:58:34 PM | Really classy...this single mother will stay single if this is what the pond is offering.
For me the TRUTH would be keep this guy from raising kids..being around kids. Gives me the creeps when guys refer to women as biatches and hos..you have a mother. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/30/2007 5:21:42 PM | It's hilarious to see men that will post on their profiles, "No offense, but if you have kids, don't even bother" and these guys are like in their 30's. Hellllllllooooooooo, a lot of women have children by their mid-20's.
Another really good line on these guys' profiles is, "I want a women who takes care of herself as well as I do." Ok, not all of us women are inclined to spend four hours in a gym each day so we can look like we're pumped up on steroids.
I have found a lot of jerks, perverts and dirty old men on here. They have unreal expectations (no wonder they are single!) and no clue as to what a real woman is like.
Keep your chin up, and don't give up. Someday, somewhere, somehow there will be a "Mr. Right" who comes along and accepts not only you, but your daughter as well.
Take care and good luck.
-Onya
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/30/2007 5:33:20 PM | Ok,
I'm a single mother of two. I have an EXCELLENT job. However, is this intimidating because of the fact that I am a very STRONG woman with a stronghold on MY finances? I don't need a sugar daddy, nor do I expect to be a sugar mama! I've had many men that want to date me and have me support them! I say, hell no! Been there, done that and ain't doing that crap again.
All I want is to have somebody to date and have fun with. My kids don't need a daddy stand in. I NEED companionship and that is all.
My profile states that I have kids and I don't cover it up. However, I don't need men in and out of my kids lives. Therefore, men aren't typically introduced to them until I know that there is a potential relationship there. Dating is fun, but not serious enough to introduce to my kids.
Is this deceptive? In my mind its not. You know I have kids, I'm not asking you to "step in and play daddy" or looking for my "sugar daddy."
Just dating. Period. The end! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/30/2007 7:07:11 PM | lil mermade
I mean it in a really good way.. sorry if you get offended...I did not mean biatch in the wrong way -- sense of expression -- just the way some of you would describe SINGLE men as A-holes..Nothing personal...
bottom line - I still respect single mothers as wonderful human beings - I just do not not like their situations -- that is all.. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/30/2007 7:12:44 PM | lizbeth
Trainable hahahahaha -- nope but baggage free YES YES YES -- you know what I meant by baggage - - - I do not mean more drama than I already got.. I want to avoid as much drama and conflicts as I can | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 11/30/2007 7:59:13 PM | | It can be a major challenge to come into the life of a child. This is particularly true when the child has secret hopes of his parents getting back together and/or when they reach their teen years. It can be a big deal for both the man and the child. | |
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