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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 1/12/2008 8:56:58 PM | | Wow, great thread. Simple explanation: A man who is interested in having a family wants to be a FATHER. However, if you are not the daddy of someone else's kids, you will always be an OUTSIDER. If you are a single mom, look for a single dad and make your own little 'Brady Bunch'. However, men that are interested in dating are not really interested in rasing or being tied down to someone else's responsibility. The whole situation in this country is just sad as far as all this is concerned. it's no wonder so many people thrown themselves into their work or some kind of vice (gambling, drinking, pornography, 'sport-sex'). I don't feel sorry for many single moms (except for the ones who were left holding the bag by irresponsible men). However, I do feel sorry for the kids. I believe that kids need a mother AND a father to be emotionally balanced and healthy. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 1/13/2008 12:13:49 AM | You want to know the real reason many nice single men without kids run from single mothers?
It's like this, many, but not all single mothers were "party girls" in their younger years. They hooked up with all of the jerks, while passing up all of the so called "nice guys." They end up getting hurt by the jerky guy, and some times wind up with a kid out of it. Then they change from party girl to mother, and start to look for a nice guy. But many nice men are learly at this point, and it's heart breaking for a nice guy to see the girl that he wanted 5 years ago go home with some jerk that would never treat her as good as he could. Only to have her get hurt and then have her want to date him cuz he's so good. It puts the nice guy in a second class. She's basicly telling him, "You know I had to get the wild child out of me, and now I'm ready for a guy like you." My sister for example has 4 kids with 4 dad's. What kind of message is that telling good men out there?? To be honest, it's not a very good message, and it makes the man wonder if she will be faithful to him. Like it or not, but people's past will haunt them and people will judge people on their past. One very scary thing for all of you ladies out there is this. Many young good and successful men out there in their late 20's and mid 30's are actually seeking out asian brides over sea's They are very attracted to the "old fashioned" lady like behavior which is displayed by these gals. It has nothing to do with looks, but with trust. Many good guys don't want a gal with gaudy tatoo's, or that can out drink them. We also don't want to "challenge" you or try to "keep up with you." We just want a nice girl in whom we can trust. Sorry to rant and rave, but I just wanted to throw in my 2 cent's. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 1/13/2008 1:26:57 AM | LOL at the last response. I feel there's a lot of truth in it, but I re-iterate: I'm a so-called "nice guy" (quick resume: 20, don't drink or smoke, don't do anything illegal, lots of church and volunteer work, experience in a single-mother household, raising much younger brother and sister, job, car, military service, college, heading to law school, was engaged to the same girl for three years and never slept with her) AND I'm hoping to meet a young, single mother and sweep her off her feet with love. Haven't gotten any replies from one yet, though. What am I doing wrong? Am I just too tame and nerdy for them?  | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 1/13/2008 2:00:31 AM | | No your not doing anything wrong. truth is your just too young for them and you are going to school. Your not "stable" as of yet. However if you were 10 years older, a home owner, and make over at least over 50k per year, then my friend you look very appealing to many young mothers. They simply (not all women, but many) need to have their fun with the bad boys. Women want danger, they want thrills, they want a challenge, and most of all they want what they cant have. And they want the guy that all of the other girls want. It's like some sort of mini contest between girls, and in the end they get hurt and the guys that have acted like gentlemen are kinda expected to carry some of the burdon. Because they are nice, and "Nice Guy" = PushOver. Alot of gals (again not all but many) want a "Man" to show them thrills and excitment in the beginning, and a "Nice Guy" after they have had their thrills. | |
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hype6
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Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 1457 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 1/13/2008 10:43:04 PM | Ok
I have nothing wrong with dating single moms
But everybody i know tells me to stay away including woman in my family
With the laws being in place moving in together for a short amount of time lets say say 6 mounths does not work out ?
Am i misslead after 6mounths living together you get 50% of what i own and i have to pay child surport of the next 15 years?
Why should i not be scared !
Anybody can be good at masking a image for 6 mounths then say thats it then what?
And if i had you sign up a pren up i would be the jerk for not being trusting!
I would have to pay child support does not seem fair for a short relationship having to pay child surport for a child not staying in contact or even having much respect for because of such a short relationship
So i am scared because of the law
Hey i would be the first to pay child surport if was my blood kids | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 1/14/2008 5:32:36 AM | | Boy oh boy... These laws in Canada are messed up!!!! I understand they were ment to help young mothers, but instead, the laws have created a "taboo" about dating single mom's. It's like gambling with your life's work and achievements. No wonder the women in Canada are mad, since none of the really good guys will even look at them, let alone date them. LOL, you guys up North would have better luck with the Russian mail order brides, and we all know what kind of rep they have. And most of them are really hot!!! I feel for all you Canadian men, but on the bright side the only girls left over are the sincerly nice ones! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 1/14/2008 9:43:44 AM | hey pizza looks like u had or havin a bad experiance..... with someone else`s kids.....
I ave decided that i want a man who has no baggage.... I may sound selfish but I dont want to bring up someone else`s children too.... I have bn there already... spent loads of money on other ppl`s kids cause he wasnt earning much money so what ever my kids had so did his two children ...... they were never treated different........You kno what they say once bitten teice shy.....
I dont need a man to look afer my children i work hard and get paid good money...... i dont receive no maintance off my ex hubby either...... | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 1/15/2008 6:46:18 AM | Like someone else said, its not just the fact that you have a kid that makes guys run.
I'm a single guy, been with single mother.
So many different things come to play.
different Lifestyle.
I know personally the way she raised her kids kinda made me cringe...her youngest was in diapers still at 4yrs old, still drinking from a bottle and could barely speak.
The kids never cleaned there rooms, toys ALL over the house, never EVER would they clean up after themselves. The kids ate junk food all the time(aka 2 full size bags of ships between 2 boys 8 &10, for brunch). never did home work, broke everything without getting punished, she would just get them new ones, and they cried anytime they didnt get their way and then she would just give in.
So totally different ideas of good/acceptable parenting, as well as many other different things come to play, such as does she want more kids, some women dont want more, and the guy wants more, but that doesnt come to light until later | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 1/15/2008 10:49:25 AM | | I have a BRILLIANT suggestion: If you don't like reading these threads, don't open the damn things. I know, I know, it's totally "thinking outside the box," but I'm more tired of the "won't this thread die" pointless stupid responses than I'll ever be of a thread I am disinclined to read. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 1/15/2008 3:08:11 PM | | When a single or divorced man begins a relationship with a woman with a child or children, reality is little other than quality time together is an issue. My experience while dating a divorced mom was simple...we spent time together when her son and daughter were visiting their respective dads and she joined me at my home and I would then go to her home on the weekends when her children were home. During the day we did something as a group and in the evening occasionally we went out to eat or spent the evening watching a movie or playing a board game. The year we dated went without incident until my girlfriend decided to move in together. Her son was 14 and her daughter was to begin college in 2 months. I'll mention here that I supported both her and her son the year we lived together. I happily spent time doing homework and attempted to spend quality time with the son involving him with the animals I raise on my farm while I maintained a full time job. Short version...He constantly complained about doing anything as simple as taking the trash out or occasionally feeding the animals when I had to work a double shift. Her daughter announced she had become pregnant and was dropping out of college. My new family packed up and moved back to her mothers house and now they all live together...Not all single or divorced men run from women with children...some of us would be thrilled to have a "family" ...its just often not as simple and clean cut as you think and sometimes its the women who places her children so far ahead of her mate or even her own wants that it can't work...no answer here...just another viewpoint! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 1/16/2008 1:23:33 PM | Ok, so I think I've had a moment of clarity!
There are alot of single mothers that I know where I live who have boyfriends. They don't seem to have any trouble finding a ltr when they want one. This goes for me too, I don't want one at the minute because I want to finish my studies before I settle. The issue with these mothers that I know is that they settle, not for second best, but for who is there. Maybe it is not a question of who does or doesn't like single mothers, but who us single parents would accept as a partner. We have mostly all had bad experiences in previous relationships and that makes us too picky, maybe. I think men know this about us and find this intimidating. I think it is threatening for a man to know that alot is expected of him. Not that I am suggesting that we shouldn't expect alot.
So there we have it. Most 'men' do not want to start a long climb to a pedestal that they may never reach. Fair enough.
Happy  | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 1/17/2008 3:35:19 AM | Has anyone noticed this tremendous pattern where thousands of women have been 'ditched' by their partners and left alone with kids?
"I come across a lot of single mothers who were treated bad or the father of their children ditched them"
There are always 3 sides to a story..... - her side, his side, and the truth.
Takes 2 to make something shit. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 1/17/2008 9:34:32 AM | You know what, what you have siad is very true.
However....
why would they date "these" types of men
in the first place?
It's simple really. When women are young, they want danger, thrills and excitment. They want to live in the moment. They don't want some guy who is in school preparing his life and getting his career started. He's a dork.
Then "they" get ditched by Mr Motorcycle or who ever, and suddenly want "This" nice man. How convient for these ladies. They think they can have their fun while they are young, and then think the can get their Mr Perfect.
Single mothers kind a get judged on differnet degree's
#1
Best case---She is a widow. This is not her fault.
#2
Ok case--She has gotten a divorce. Things did not work out, ok at least she waited till she was married.
3#
Worst case--She has multiple kids with multiple men. This looks like trouble.
She may be a great gal who in fact was just plain "young and stupid" But when we men see the kind of men your having babies with.(and if their some real winners, and I mean losers) well were just not gonna look at you the same way.
Men dont think about her being "young and stupid" we think tramp. I'm sorry but the truth hurts, but it's just what comes to mind. We think that your just going to keep going back to these guys, and take us for our money. Girls tell me now to worry about my money. But why do they worry about it so much. The number 1 hint I can give you single mom's out there is to be very open with pre-nups. Even bring up the issue. This re-assures your not after money and only his heart. if you can't do a pre-nup, then it says somthing like "Well, if it does not work out, at least I'll get some thing out of it" | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 1/17/2008 3:41:05 PM |
Has anyone noticed this tremendous pattern where thousands of women have been 'ditched' by their partners and left alone with kids?
"I come across a lot of single mothers who were treated bad or the father of their children ditched them"
There are always 3 sides to a story..... - her side, his side, and the truth.
Takes 2 to make something shit.
Firstly, I find it flattering that you feel the need to track my posts. It wont work sweetheart, I lived with a b*stard far more manipulative than you.
Secondly, why repost the same bollocks? You are more intelligent than that from what I have seen.
Thirdly, WHERE do your issues come from? You need therapy! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 1/18/2008 2:02:12 AM | "Firstly, I find it flattering that you feel the need to track my posts"
Track YOUR posts?
Get you're head out of you're arse darling.... lol
Are you really that educationally subnormal to not realise that people who spend time in the forums may come across each other in other on other threads? You weirdo... lol
"WHERE do your issues come from?"
"It wont work sweetheart, I lived with a b*stard far more manipulative than you"
MY Issues? lol Erm.... Im lost there...lol
Lets be completely honest here....
People cannot plainly accept other people's opinions on this site and therefore need to reply on the forums (where you should really be addressing the post and not the poster) to vent their anger.....
As the poster above said about the 3 scenarios of single parents....
The 3rd on is worst case scenario, and this is what I see mostly of.... and THIS is what I base my posts on... now if people add THEMSELVES into this bracket and reply with anger, for example - "Thirdly, WHERE do your issues come from? You need therapy! "
than there is no-one to blame but themselves.
My posts are not personally directed towards anyone.... and by replying to me rather than the posts, it only display's as to how much Ive really gotten to you.....
(not good really, on your part, I must say)........
You should try and not let people get to you so much.... (most of all me...) x
Now going back to the thread question.........
Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers? - No, I dont. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 1/18/2008 3:10:59 AM | just to add that i have friend of 12 years who use to be my boyfriend 10 years ago. he never wanted to marry or have kids. we split, i found another man, fell in love had my son only to find myself now single mum and supported by my ex boyfriend still single with no kids. you know what, he knows more about kids and when my son comes first and is wiser than my son's father. so please don't generalise, there are childless single man who have the know how with children and have never been day in day out with one and there are fathers who don't know proper with their own or any other children.
majority is relevant in only out experience, of what we have come across.
there is genuine reason why some single childless man do not want to be with single mum. my friend has low selfesteem and thinks he is no where near good to be role model to my son and to be honest i ca judge if he is or isn't and to be honest he is good enough. i know there are guys who do not respect women let alone single mum when they expect her to get baby sitter to go out with him. i say, they are the big kids and messed up so they are not worth the bother. if someone is constantly ending up with this type of man than try and see why there is attraction to such man, instead blaming them foe being 'not nice'. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 1/18/2008 3:17:38 AM | "so please don't generalise, there are childless single man who have the know how with children and have never been day in day out with one and there are fathers who don't know proper with their own or any other children"
^^^ So are you saying that people dont have to have children of their own to be a good parent? x | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 1/18/2008 4:17:00 AM | i so now how you feel cntrygrl101 i dated a guy that i was set up with through a mutual friend while i was prengnat with my youngest, he was ok for a while but after i had the baby (and no hes not the dad long story) he was like all freaked out cause i have kids.
i told him im like ok look your ok with it when im pregnant but your not when i have him... im like ok see ya then i dont need you in my life.
ive made a habit on this site so far to find guys to talk to that are ok with me having kids, i met a great guy that im still talking to we exchanged numbers on wednesday and since i wastn able to leave the house that day invited him over to hang out with me while my kids were napping, we had a great time together, and i hope it blossums into something more. but were taking things slow right now.
cntrygrl101 i myself had given up, but was given great advice from 1 of my best friends, to not give up! he is out there and when you find him he will sweep you off your feet, at first you maybe scared to allow the relationship to happen only because of being hurt before, but if you take things slow and he has patience im sure he will understand where you are coming from and wont turn his back on you.
so keep the faith girl he is out there trust me!!
good luck in your search
-jenn b | |
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