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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2005 9:06:30 PM | Very well said. Your children don't need a new mom or dad, they only need someone to be there in good times and bad. The biological parent (s) are the ones who have all the say. All you can do is be silent.
If given a chance to date a single mother I wouldn't let children stand in my way. The relationship is with them not their kid (s). | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/2/2005 9:23:32 PM | MY dear mitgrad,
Do I sound bitter? Well that is because I am. But i am sorry that I let that come through when I was trying to give hope to the many single moms out there. Because there is hope. I did go on a tangent and for that I am sorry. There are many good men out there that do love kids and want to be with single moms. | |
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| get over it guys kids are only human like u....
Posted: 6/2/2005 10:36:56 PM | Well i get it all the time they dont have a problem with me its my kids id rather be a single mum if thats the case...........Men i dont think there is any around these days most of em are mice run scared with there tails behind them.....kids are only human as well and lets put it this way guys next time you date a single mother look at it like this kids grow up and have lives of there own just like you did so there not gunna be around your feet forever. | |
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| get over it guys kids are only human like u....
Posted: 6/3/2005 6:51:42 AM | My goodness ... read through this thread. As I began scanning it, what lept out at me was the number of guys who said they would ONLY or PREFER to date single moms. Sorry, but there are some people like me (yes, I am a single parent, let the hypocrite comments begin) that prefer not to date single parents. I have my reasons. Yes, they are quite selfish. It doesn’t make me a bad person or any less of a man. Everyone has there own set of preferences - likes and dislikes - and it is up to them to find someone who fits those preferences. Yes, I have had women tell me quite honestly they are not interested because I have a child. I appreciate their honesty and I don’t think any less of them. I refuse to be upset by it. Somehow it seems less shallow than someone telling me they don’t want to date me because the only six pack I have is in my refrigerator.
It’s a fact of life, people. Being a single parent is going to turn some people off. But it also attracts others as it is a sign, in their opinion, of responsibility, commitment and character. I have dated women who have told me one of the things they find most attractive about me is that I am such a good father. So, please, stop the “whoa is me” BS that proliferates this portion of the forum. You can moan and whine all you want that some people won’t date you because you are a single parent. You can put them down and express how ashamed they should be for being so selfish and self-centered. Or you could brush it off like any other rejection and move on. | |
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| get over it guys kids are only human like u....
Posted: 6/3/2005 6:58:28 AM | | Dig, I agree. But we both know that will never happen. There are some people who come here with no other agenda other than to bash single parents. And those who argue with them only feed into the warped, twisted pleasures they derive from it. I say, ignore them. That’s what I do. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/3/2005 1:27:00 PM | I think you are looking in the wrong places or at the wrong men. As far as am concern if you read my profile I prefer to meet a women that has kids, and also I know several men around me “of my age” that are involved with women that have kids.
Keep looking there is a lot of us out there. | |
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| get over it guys kids are only human like u....
Posted: 6/3/2005 2:59:47 PM | YamIhere,
At this point I would say that most of the ladies that I have talked to online and found more than a passing interest are single moms. A couple are teachers, one is a working to become an RN, one has been unemployed for a year or two and is seeking work... I also have really enjoyed talking to a single gal who is 24, no kids, and working on her PhD in Statistics. Being a single mom is NOT a requirement I have, just seems to be common among ladies I have found interesting. Honestly, intelligence and personality are more what I seem to look for, not parenthood.
That being said, I might be considered rather ecclectic in my interests, and maybe that keeps some single women from expressing interest or choosing to take the time to get to know me. While that can be a bit annoying, I am who I am. My friends and co-workers consider me a good father, as does my family. I don't have a "woe is me attitude", but I do consider how well someone I meet interacts not only with me, but how they may get along with my son. He's my first priority, and there are women out there who may not want a kid right now, or another one... to each their own.
I married a woman who had 2 kids already and was married for 7 yrs... not the kids fault about the divorce. So, I am rather selective in who I even consider dating/meeting, etc. Again, I have no hard feelings for/against childless women, not everyone wants kids of their own. I do want to eventually find the right one for me though, and she will need to accept and love my son as well as me, whether we have more kids or not, is open for discussion, her having/not having kids though of her own isn't a major factor for me, generally. I am neutral of that matter.
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/3/2005 5:54:03 PM | Ladies Ladies Ladies!!!!!
Not to worry for We are here.
I am a SWM,44,6'4" blonde, stable and a recreational diver.
I work in the nuclear industry.
I am looking for a SDWF with 1 small child.
You absolutely must enjoy diving and water sports.
My limit is one child.
If you are her please respond.
I live in san diego.
I am serious, so be brave and email me now.
I am planning a dive to an exotic locatin soon.
That dive vacation would be all the more fun with the right LTR gal pal and "our little-one".
You must have a true interest in diving!!!!
Ron. 619-309-9992.
Iwould also like to let you ladies in on a secret, there are many men in my circles looking for a woman with/without kid(s), the problem is that most women dont know about or are not interested in diving.
We go to fun locations and beach parties, however, everytime the parties are seriousy short of women,???????.
Most of theses guys are 27+ and doing well enough to purchase expensive dive gear, ect.
ALL YOU LADIES OUT THERE WANTING TO MEET SOMEONE WHO IS A POSITIVE ASSET NOW IS YOUR CHANCE, AND YOUR LITTLE ONE CAN LEARN TO SCUBA DIVE-or at least snorkel- NOW FISH OR CUT BAIT!!!
DIVER DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/3/2005 6:35:31 PM | There is something I don't understand. The "I'm not looking for a father for my children" part.
If you want a guy for the long term, he will be in contact with your children, and will probably learn to like and even love them. But you are cutting him of that part of your family life. If he marries you, he will be always less than a complete member of your family.
The kind of guy who will date a single mother is probably the kind of guy who will want to be a father figure for her children. So you are pulling the rug below your feet yourselves. Am I wrong? | |
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swc
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Joined: 6/3/2005
Msg: 164 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/3/2005 6:37:26 PM | That is something I never experienced. Running because I found out that the woman I had a special feeling for had children. I've been in a relationship with a woman who had children from a previous marriage. Seemed the natural order of things to accept these children as I did her.
I can think of a couple of reasons why an individual may behave in this manner (strange as they may be!) but can't say I've ever behaved that way myself.
I must apologize for the ill-behaved men that attempted involvement with you. We're not all that way! | |
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Dell
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Joined: 1/21/2004
Msg: 165 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/3/2005 6:44:28 PM | tang, I think the phrase:
"I'm not looking for a father for my children"
Means that they aren't looking for someone to assume the financial/parental responsibility of raising their child. Most single moms have children who's father is an active participant in their lives. I would hope that anyone who chooses to date a single parent would also take the children involved into account and grow to love them too. | |
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swc
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Joined: 6/3/2005
Msg: 166 | |
| get over it guys kids are only human like u....
Posted: 6/3/2005 6:44:38 PM | Bravo! Unfortunately, from what I've read and know, most of these 'mice' really are rats! If they're in the relationship to manipulate you, Just for the Fun of it, it's best they scurried away!
Good men do exist out here still. Its just there are so many rats that we have a true struggle of trying to be seen by those wonderful single moms! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/3/2005 7:05:01 PM | Dell, I think that's unrealistic. If the guy marries a single mom, he will definitely assume some financial/parental responsibility with the children (I don't imagine a guy saying: "Dear wife, they're your children, buy them breakfast cereal with your own money").
What they are saying with this phrase, i think, is that the guy will assume these responsibilities, but he shouldn't expect to be recognized by it, nor having parental authority (like in discipline or rearing issues). So, at the end he will have all the responsibilities of a father, but none of the rights.
Do you think it is an attractive setup?
I think that a single mother, who wants a guy accepting her as package (she and her children), should be also eager to give herself as a package. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/3/2005 9:23:55 PM | tango:
What you said really hit me. It's such a truth. "I think that a single mother, who wants a guy accepting her as a package should be also eager to give herself as a package." You're right. I've dated guys before that didn't have a problem and were even eager to let my daughter come along, but if they said something to my daughter getting on to her or something for a thing I'd been fussing at her about for 5 minutes, I instantly thought, "Who do you think you are?" I didn't say anything, but I still thought it. I just can't say anything else except you're right. I don't think "not looking for a father for my children" meant really that, but again, it should. You can't expect to be stepDAD and not act like their father....disciplinarian and financial supporter. | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/3/2005 10:04:17 PM | Scuba: WTF? lmao
OT: it all comes down to preferences and interests and the individual approach by both parties regarding what each person is "looking for"...and isnt that the case ..whether we are single parents..or just single??
Just MHO
Nat | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/3/2005 10:13:09 PM | well I would like to comment on moondreamers comment about what single dads dont know what its like............yes part of what you say may be right!!!
I grew up in a very loving home situation with both my mum and dad together
and having that is what you seek in your adult relationship
I have been a single dad for 10 years............10 years of part time hell..............
and let me tell you what a single dad knows!!!
a single dad knows:
what its like to tuck his kids into bed only 2 nights out of 14 nights
what its like to drop his kids off sunday night and cry all the way back home
what its like to comfort his kids when crying for 2 hours on sunday before they go back to mums place
what its like to have your christmas plans changed at the last minute to suite her needs!! cause uncle joe and aunt sue came to town from regina or where ever
what its like to spend christmas alone,
looking at all those presents you wrapped last night
what its like to not be told about the upcoming school christmas concert, and try to get your kids to understand why you were not there!!
what its like to see your son with a broken leg or ankle or arm and find out it happened 5 days ago, and wonder how he was without you
what its like to be told I totally forgot to call you about last nights soccer game
what its like to break an arm at work and be on w.c.b and have your drivers licence taken away, your vehicle registration suspended, and your health care cancelled, cause you havent paid child support for 2 months, because you havent had a pay cheque for 12 weeks
what its like to have maintenance enforcement garnish your pay because your ex wife is being spitfull saying he hasent paid child support for 6 months, and it takes you 6 months and $5000.00 to a lawyer to prove in court that you have paid
what its like to have your ex place your phone number in her blocked phone numbers list, then try to explain to your kids why......" I have not heard from you dad"
and finally what its like to know she has maintenance enforcement on her side, but I do not have access enforcement on my side.....cause it does not exist.
all of the above this single dad knows all too well
I dont blame many guys for running from single mums ....perhaps some of you ladies should try living without your heart for a while, as in someone ripping it out of your chest by taking your family away from you.
so when single guy meets a single lady with a child or 2, and after a year or so you decide you would like another baby, and this is the man of my dreams, but you dont feel that way after the baby is born , then the guy ends up paying support to another lady and seeing his child part time. can you blame a guy for running
you may not see some of us cry in the open, but some of us do behind closed doors!!! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/4/2005 2:02:14 AM | I agree....I don't date men who don't have kids.....only someone WITH kids can laugh at a baby walking out the door with his diaper half pulled off(already taped on to keep him from it) and you realize he's dirty....AAAARRRGGG!!!!...lol....and when you can't just walk out hte door for a date at 9 pm on a school night...WAY TO GO daddysret! | |
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| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/4/2005 5:21:25 AM | TO MOONDREAMER1977
,you are right, i think no one should deal other as packeges,we are humane and kids are an important part of our lives, if you love a single mother then you must have much more love for her kids, dnt go for sex ,go for love,honesty and kindness,its what i think , i totally agree with you , | |
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Dell
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Joined: 1/21/2004
Msg: 175 | |
| Ever Wonder Why Single Men Do Not like Single mothers?
Posted: 6/4/2005 6:22:57 AM | Dell, I think that's unrealistic. If the guy marries a single mom, he will definitely assume some financial/parental responsibility with the children (I don't imagine a guy saying: "Dear wife, they're your children, buy them breakfast cereal with your own money").
What they are saying with this phrase, i think, is that the guy will assume these responsibilities, but he shouldn't expect to be recognized by it, nor having parental authority (like in discipline or rearing issues). So, at the end he will have all the responsibilities of a father, but none of the rights.
Do you think it is an attractive setup?
Well that would be your opinion.
Do I think it's attractive? Not the way you put it. I'm sure your perspective on life is much different (darker) than mine. I choose believe that most people are honest and good, you seem to think everyone is out to screw you or take something from you or bind you.
Ya sure did have a negative opinion for something you originally claimed to not understand. | |
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