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Posted: 1/4/2008 4:10:57 PM | I am not looking for a man who can go all night , just once ,maybe twice  would be fine with me . Once, twice ,a week is fine too ,not looking for every night . I don't think my request is unreasonable . I would be more understanding if this happened on down the line in our relationship ,because I know people get older and health issues and such, but I am just not interested in starting out a relationship with oral only .
As someone else mentioned in this thread ,oral is good ,but its not the same as actual penetration . I like being hammered  | |
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Posted: 1/4/2008 4:17:06 PM | Ryan ,
the age tends to accompany the experience and knowledge of what sexuallity is all about... comprehension that a simple touch, kiss, look is a great complexity in itself consisting of pleasures and satisfactions on multiple levels...besides the obvious "SEXUAL" | |
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Posted: 1/4/2008 4:24:32 PM | | I liked the term "plowed" or "pounded" myself Sugah. Maybe "drilled". Reamed. Slammed. Bounced. Hammered is good too though. | |
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Posted: 1/4/2008 4:28:25 PM | I suppose we are all getting older and it's not like we are 18 anymore (except for the 18 year olds that is)! Any good relationship between a man and a woman is going to be more complex (if it's going to last) than just the sexual aspect. Learning to accept what someone can do (or maybe not as often as he/she used to) is part of being considerate and loving in a relationship. Any serious relationship requires us to weigh the pros and cons initially, and sometimes those things change as we change and other aspects change their importance as we get to know each other better.
Seems to me that if you are looking for a well rounded relationship then it would be a good idea to focus on the whole relationship. And honesty is always the best policy. If this is a serious issue for you then you should be able to communicate that to someone that you care about and that cares about you.
Sometimes it's not the question so much as "when" you ask the question. Personally, I think it's a mistake to take sex too seriously. Once you reach an age where children are a thing of the past (and you are thinking about grand children  ) then sexual intimacy is a fun time with someone you love. -- well, that's what I think anyway...   | |
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Posted: 1/4/2008 5:40:37 PM | I have no idea about the whole night. That's why I was like Do people really do that? Poor woman. My married life the longest encounter was 15 min. I just can't imagine alllll night. I guess I don't have that good of an imagination.
I'm not trying to be dirty but I got married at 19 and at 36 I 'm getting a divorce and I don't mind saying the thought of having a sexual relationship scares the Heck out of me. I didn't get around in school and I really am stumped about what happens next in my life. And beside do I really want someone else to see me naked? I didn't even have male Drs when I had my kids.
Also I'm a nurse and I worked long term care for 11 years. TRUST ME the last thing to go on a man in the urge to have sex. I had a 102 year old little Mennonite man hit on me. Offered to get me in the family. When I didn't respond he asked if I knew what that meant. I said yes Mr L but I am married. he goes I'm not she died! She really had died about a year before! Poor guy must've broke his heart when I turned him down because he died 2 weeks later. | |
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Posted: 1/4/2008 6:58:11 PM | | All night? That would be the legendary Taurus male. Find one. You may be the one asking for a break! | |
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Posted: 1/4/2008 7:20:11 PM | Yikes... trying to tip-toe thru the tulips on THAT one would be hellacious!!! As much tact as there is, unless you were a doctor talking with him about the problem, I doubt that there is an easy way to ask this question. I suppose if they bring up the possibility that it would only be "an oral only" situation, then you should probably be nicely blunt.
Dunno, sweetie... this one takes me frosting right off my flakes! Good luck, and maybe some of these good peeps on POF can help! | |
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Posted: 1/4/2008 7:58:43 PM | | I love to give oral and my partners seem to enjoy it, and after expressing so I have had a potential lover ask me point blank....can you get a woman off with your****in addition to being good at oral?...I wasnt offended and appreciated her willingness to share her...interests | |
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Posted: 1/4/2008 8:17:54 PM | | Hell, I know alot of guys my age who have this problem, and I don't think its performance anxiety and Im in my late 20's! It could have been just me but I doubt it. | |
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Posted: 1/4/2008 9:10:38 PM | | The only thing to do is stick with young men for lovers. That is what they are there for. Older men are going to be creaky, limp, and growing hairs in their ears that nature forgot to provide a reason. Older men are a total waste of time in the bedroom and out of it. We have come and gone, risen and fallen, had our day in the sun and retreated into the shadowy world of neglected uselessness. There is no kind or tactful way to remind a man that his sexual happiness ended decades ago. It is better to avoid the subject, take a young lover, and then simply avert your eyes should anyone long of tooth try to impose a smile. | |
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Guess
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Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 36 | |
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Posted: 1/4/2008 9:50:50 PM | | Op Maybe you didnt understand that you are the fuel,so it is pointless to ask a question like that in a mail or a chat. | |
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Posted: 1/4/2008 9:56:24 PM | Dunno, Tyrone....
My last penis was 58, and could not only get the job done with little or no stimulation other than watching me walk towards him across the room, or walking behind me up stairs....LOLOL....but he could also stay hard after orgasm and get there again. Twenty minutes later, after a little oral encouragement, on both our parts....he could get there again. Oh, and he had this little trick where he could keep going until you told him to "cum". I think he was an adept playah in his younger years, LOL...
Now granted. I've not had that many men over the age of 40. Actually, 3 to be exact, and two of them couldn't get it up. So.......dunno. But this 58 year old - too bad he didn't have more to work with. He would have been the favorite of every lady within 250 miles. (He was one of those that had a lot of aches and pains....so positions were a difficulty for him) | |
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Posted: 1/4/2008 10:15:52 PM | | I wouldn't confuse the two, however, if it's a real concern, you may just want to include it in your profile ... how you deal with those in RL, hmm, take them for a test drive, just don't waste a lot of time getting to know them first. | |
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Posted: 1/4/2008 10:29:51 PM | Simply just ask .
If you wish to subtle, try telling the new guy a funny little story about the “last guy i dated”
who “couldn’t get it up” .
That should cull the herd. | |
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repa
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Joined: 12/18/2007
Msg: 40 | |
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Posted: 1/5/2008 2:31:10 AM | | well maybe you can give him some viagra if that problem occurs? | |
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Posted: 1/5/2008 10:53:22 PM | | Not sure how to react to this whole thread. Much of it seems presumptuous. I'm now 55, soon to be 56. It has been a while since I was in an all night ****athon but I do know that it was less than 5 years ago...so, the age thing is not exactly a gauge for performance expectations. For one thing, take some of the far out of shape ladies who seem to just lay there expecting a guy to immediately be aroused by their cellulite and sags. If there is no appeal then there is no natural reaction. Ive known women my age who are very sexually stimulating with whom I've had no difficulty being aroused in her presence. I've also known younger women with sweet and pretty faces that did nothing for me and I was anxious to get the bedroom action over with. So, just because a guy will doesn't mean he can for just anyone just any time or just anywhere. Yah, I'm not the youngster full of hormones that I used to be but as other posters have said, the quality and experience is much more important to many women than the mere physical ability. The few women I've known in the past 10 years have by far been more satisfied with the cuddling and foreplay and afterglow than with merely a hit and run marathon. I have no interest in a woman who is only driven by sexual fulfillment. I can get sex fairly easily. Lots of women are simply in need and desire a physical relationship only. Myself, that's cold and not fulfilling. My manhood is not challenged such that I feel the need to belittle myself by being a****ound. I am far more hungry for a warm and fulfilling relationship with love and respect. While I'm interested in that to find me I'm dating and meeting women and not foolish enough to think every woman I meet is willing to give up her independence to enter into a committed relationship...but the issues is not that...the op wants to know about a man's ability to perform sexually... take it from me... there are some who can't but some of the time it's because the woman simply doesn't have a clue how to be sensually stimulating. | |
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Posted: 1/5/2008 11:19:18 PM | | I'd suggest sometime after the first passionate kiss and before the second. | |
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Posted: 1/6/2008 4:02:43 AM | I have had similar problems in the past. That is a sensitive topic nevertheless. The best policy is to be straight forward with it and state what you like sexually.
My girlfriend married a guy who was using Viagra during courtship. He never told her before marriage. Her newly wed husband found out that he has a heart condition and no longer can use Viagra. He mislead her to believe that she was getting the full package deal. There are plenty of women who prefer oral and this wouldn't be a big deal. She wasn't one of them. My advice is to bring this topic up early to save you the awkwardness.
Best of luck | |
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Posted: 1/6/2008 4:07:08 AM | Take them too the bedroom.. and if it comes up to say hi, well.. ill leave the welcoming party upto you.
Otherwise, just remember, thats not the only way they can please you !! | |
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Posted: 1/6/2008 5:08:57 AM | | nope, I would never ask. if we would happen to have a sexual encounter, I would find out . but then again, you cant' make that determination after only one session. the first encounter can be awkward and only after an undetermined amount of times can you see if you are compatible. there are ways to enjoy each other, without sexual intercourse. don't ask, not classy, you'll find out soon enough. | |
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Posted: 1/14/2008 4:17:04 PM | Listen, kids:
It ain't that big a deal. There are plenty of workarounds if both of you are creative enough. Which usually turns out to make "workarounds" unnecessary. I like Spence's take on this.
Gadz. I would NEVER ask a man this question before meeting him. Sexy is an attitude, not a a look or a great shirt or a friggin' picture of yourself with your Harley. Confidence is everything and works every time. No need to deflate it before you have any idea of what sort of chemistry might occur.
Is there anything much better than taking the roast out of the oven to check on how it is coming along, and having someone come up behind you and hugging you with their hands under your sweater so that you can't tell exactly why your glasses are fogging up?
Kay | |
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Posted: 1/14/2008 4:31:07 PM | if i felt intimate enough with a man to ask him that question, i wouldn't..
time would show whether or not he could and if not, then there are very effective drugs out there if needed/wanted..
i'd think asking the question could put undue pressure on the bloke so that it might cause the very condition under discussion..
thankfully there are other ways to be satisfied, for both parties..
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Posted: 1/14/2008 4:53:11 PM | | Op You mentioned that you smoke and date men who smoke. It is a proven medical fact that nicotine affects the flow of blood, it a vasal contrictor. As and adult know its the boold flowing to the penis that creats and erection. Wht else have Phizer and the other drug makers made Billions of dollars selling ED drugs? I was a heavy smoker and suggering from ED until I stopped smoking. Wounder of Wounder guess what came back to life? LoL Thats not to say its just smoking that casues ED but it is only one reason males have this problem. Other issues can of course be blood pressure, life style as well as other things! | |
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Posted: 1/14/2008 5:20:39 PM | Smoking most definitely damages small blood vessels, and being over weight doesn't exactly help either...
As for as a man being able to get it up, you're right it's not really something you can ask without being either vulgar or insensitive. Of course, a little vulgarity at the right time can be a major turn on. Imagine being at a coffee shop, meeting a gentleman and you're feeling the chemistry, and when you finish your drinks he says "so, what's next?" If you respond with "A true gentleman would take me home and f*ck me until I couldn't walk," you will see his nostrils flare. Honest.
As to your question... I'd say, just assume that they can perform. Maybe not right out of the gate, but as they get comfortable being with you and you take the trouble to turn them on, you should be able to get him into the saddle. | |
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Posted: 1/14/2008 5:33:45 PM | Might just be the men you are meeting..older worked for me,even when I was younger, an older man for the most part is the best imo. | |
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