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Anyone who says, "I don't want a fat partner because of health issues" is a liar. As other posters have stated, it's because of appearances, not health. Maybe if you're 0ver 65 and looking for someone to spend your golden years with, I'd buy it, but if not, you're fooling exactly nobody.

How do you that they are lying? Appearances are a factor, but maybe a family member, a friend, or a co-worker had health problems that were caused by being obese. It is the same thing as not dating a smoker because of potential health problems caused by smoking.

I have many good qualities. I'm a member of MENSA and recently had some creative writing published. I work at a major metropolitan newspaper as a WRITER (in New York, of all places) and am the youngest person at the company, and just got my first promotion after being there for five months. I volunteer at a homeless shelter, wrote a 400 page dissertation in college, graduated from said college with honors, and am politically active.

But when I was fat, none of that mattered. FAT negated ALL OF THE ABOVE, and nobody cared who I was or what I was, because in the public eye, all I could ever hope to be was FAT.

Now, all of a sudden, the phone rings off the hook? Aren't I the same person? Didn't I have feelings, merit, and worth before I lost weight?

Physical appearance is a part of how you are. If I met a nice woman that I wasn't attracted to. Then I might be friends with her, but not date her. Also many people who lost weight often feel better about themselves. Therefore many people aren't the same person after the weight loss.

I have a younger sister who is obese and has an eating disorder. The girl is afraid to leave the house because of the nasty people outside who stare at her and make comments. When she comes home from college, she lets me know it was a good day by saying, "Nobody made any remarks to me today." How very sad.

Some people can be rude to fat people, but this is a two way street. Some fat people can be jealous, angry, and bitter. They put down thin women by calling them "Barbie dolls", bony, self-centered, high maintenance etc.

Anyways, all of this is simply to try and explain to those who don't get it, that weight gain is rarely a simple issue of being lazy or overeating. The issues involved are complex and many.

Most people can lose weight with a good diet and proper exercise. I think some people make excuses for their weight.

I've never seen a foxy asthmatic hurt for a date. But don'tcha know, people who have asthma statistically live shorter lives. Also, someone beautiful may have poor genes or diseases that run in their families, such as breast cancer. I don't see an attractive woman sitting across from a guy telling her, "It's just not going to work out. I mean, your grandmother had breast cancer, and so did your mother and sister. I CAN'T DATE YOU FOR HEALTH REASONS."

My heart bleeds. How horrible it must be for people to yell "Barbie" at you when you walk down the street, as opposed to being afraid to leave the house because last time you did, a car filled with teenage boys pulled up next to you, threw trash at you and heavily implied, "You make me want to hurl, you disgusting pig." I don't know any skinny people afraid to leave the house because they can't eat at a restaurant or walk to the store without people staring and making remarks at them.

I wonder why you did not quote my earlier statement about scoliosis and asthma here? Yes, I am making excuses. My spine is crooked and I deal with chronic pain. That's no excuse for not getting up at the crack of dawn to bust my butt at the gym so that guys I wouldn't date if you paid me would consider me "acceptable".

It breaks my heart to see so many overweight women who I CAN TELL are delightful, wonderful, intelligent, and kind people be overlooked and ignored by people who don't bother to look past the outside. I have fallen in love with people who weren't the most attractive people in the world, but I looked past that and ultimately found them beautiful. Quality people do the same.

I have dated people that weren't that attractive because of their personality, but there is a limit to that. I'm not going to date someone who I think is completely gross. Many other people feel the same way.

I feel the same way. I would rather be single than date someone with a "gross" heart and a "gross" mind.

It's not the not dating someone you're not attracted to spiel. It's the referring to other human beings as nasty names that I take issue with. Quality people don't negatively comment on other people's appearances, not to their faces and not behind their backs. There's not an issue with not being attracted to people. There is an issue with cruelty, a lack of compassion, and a lack of depth in assuming that it is easy for a person to lose weight if they really want to.

It breaks my heart to see so many overweight women who I CAN TELL are delightful, wonderful, intelligent, and kind people be overlooked and ignored by people who don't bother to look past the outside. I have fallen in love with people who weren't the most attractive people in the world, but I looked past that and ultimately found them beautiful. Quality people do the same.

And with this particular issue of someone gaining weight after marriage, it's especially heinous. It's supposed to be "til death do us part", not "til your fat butt gets too big to tolerate." If something like weight could destroy a marriage, why bother ever getting married? Most people do gain weight as they age.