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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/5/2008 2:59:01 PM | | I agree with Dianna, you can tell alot from a couple of phone calls. Their sense of humour, if they can hold a conversation, their intellect, their confidence, plus checks out if they have a strange high pitched voice, which would put me right off!! | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/5/2008 3:07:07 PM | I would *much* rather meet up first, I really don't like the idea of chatting on the phone before meeting. Email, IM, etc are all fine of course, but I want to have had a face-to-face conversation before phoning.
For me, I think as well as your reasons it's partly also the "so that's what they sound like" thing - for some reason that just seems "better" when it goes with the "so that's what they look like in real life" thing too. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/5/2008 3:13:37 PM | I'm with Pink and Diana on this one...
Phone conversations are the next logical step after emails and IMs, and you can get a better "feel" for who the person is, what makes them tick, by hearing their voice. As Diana said, being able to talk to them by phone, anytime, lets you know that they really are single. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me!
The man I am currently chatting with lives in the US, several hours away from me. We actually progressed to phone conversations more quickly than I am used to, but as we know each other from the forums there was already a comfortable connection. He has a very nice voice, and is genuinely a very nice man....
To Pink, I tried to email you but am just under your age limit. I'd like to ask you something. Thanks. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/5/2008 3:21:00 PM | I have a bit of a "phone-phobia" (loong story, maybe later) and I'd MUCH rather write e-mails, till i'm comfortable with someone... Then, graduate to the phone, then meeting. (guess I'm slow)once I DO get talking,.. I can talk till the sun comes up, if you're interesting enough.Quite a while back.. I had this one woman talk to me till the hand set would start"beeping" low batt. one day, I replaced the battery handset and went to a land line cord phone,.. & never got any sleep! But,.. I find I enjoyed it Oh, and all you need for "safe phone sex" is a zip lock baggy for the phone, a spray can of Lysol,. & you're good!    | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/5/2008 3:27:11 PM | I absolutely have to have a phone conversation before I meet a person. You can tell soooo much more on the phone, than you can via e-mails. I want to hear his voice, the cadence of his words, if the conversation is forced or flows smoothly, and if he has a sense of humor and quick wit, or if he is a more serious type of person. I feel it's a lot easier to type words, than speak them. You can stop, think about it, go back and re-read his/her e-mails, etc. You can't do that via the phone. Phone conversations are improvised. You either can carry on a good/great conversation, or you can't. Yes/no answers won't do.
You'd be amazed at the people that can have a conversation via e-mail, but barely talk once they get on the phone. It's like pulling teeth! I only go out with guys that can hold their own on the phone. At least I know that if we do meet, there won't be dead air at the table. I'm a talker (and a listener), so I like men who can talk about anything. That's just my preference. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/5/2008 3:31:36 PM | Man, I'm worse than that: I don't like emails either. I just think it doesn't feel real until you meet up for coffee/chat in the real world.
Makes it really hard meeting folk off here, I don't know why, maybe I just like to meet folk, and yak over a drink/coffee. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/5/2008 5:03:18 PM | Yes, I would rather skip the phone conversations at least for a little while at first, until I get to know the person better. What's the rush? I don't see why they insist on having my number right away and get upset when I refuse to give it to them.
They act like I owe it to them or something. | |
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naeco
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Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 36 | |
| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/5/2008 5:25:07 PM |
Yes, I would rather skip the phone conversations at least for a little while at first, until I get to know the person better.
Yeah, but the OP is talking about skipping straight from e-mail to meeting, without ever talking on the phone at all in between.
Personally, I have to talk to them at least once. It's an extra tool to figure out if you are dealing with a freak or not. And sometimes it goes very well. With my last g/f, we e-mailed two or three times, and decided to talk on the phone for a few minutes and set up a date. That phone call went really well, we clicked perfectly, and that one phone call ended up being almost three hours long, because neither of us wanted to stop talking.
Of course, I'm HERE now since the relationship started slowly flushing down the toilet after about a year, but that's another story. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/5/2008 5:40:36 PM | | In the beginning of my online experience I had no clue why ppl wanted to do all this email and IM communication... after going to a few events having just spent time learning the online etiquite I realize that I don't like handing my phone number out right away either.... I learn much through email, IM convo's and when I get comfortable and we are talking about meeting I go ahead and give my cell phone... because awkward as it is when you really don't know them I like to hear a voice too... flip side of that coin, how long does one keep a phone number saved in a phone before it's ok to delete it? Do you realize how many men share the same name???? lol.... I periodically have to clean that out too... so makes you want to hold off on handing it out... do I sound shallow???? hope not... just a fact.... | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/5/2008 5:45:13 PM |
flip side of that coin, how long does one keep a phone number saved in a phone before it's ok to delete it? Do you realize how many men share the same name????
ha ha ........cute^^^^ When I periodically clean up my cell phone and I can't remember who he is.......it's time to hit delete. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/5/2008 5:50:21 PM | Could go both ways on this one.
Weeded out one potential date as every third word was swearing.
Otoh, found one gent that actually had a vocabulary. We did meet.
Still, it's the living alone thing. Land line is for contractors. "When can you service the lawn/pool?" etc.
Female protectionism. If cell is signal ring, I know who you are. Voice mail the rest.
Few people have my number and I'd rather keep it that way. Choices..... | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/5/2008 6:07:05 PM | | I am not really a fan of talking on the phone before I meet someone. I did talk to one woman years back and we had a great time but usually I do not feel enough of a connection. Besides what if you two get along great on the phone and bomb in person? That is a big letdown. Oh I don’t know. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/5/2008 6:26:53 PM |
I had one date (before I met the wonderful man I am with now) that was arranged strictly by email.
That was just down right stupid. Don't tell the guy you're with now. He may think twice about your intelligence.
If you don't talk on the phone it's just a blind date. So much easier and better and safer if two people can get a feel for each other by a couple of phone calls. After all isn't the idea to find and meet people we like instead of just going out on a blind date for the sake of dating? But I guess some just want to date and don't care who they meet. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/5/2008 6:31:20 PM | From my experiences, it is the women who always want to sit on the phone endlessly. I hate phones, and usually am on and off in less than a minute. I suspect most men actually feel that way...at least most of the ones I know. Women tend to stay online as long as you will let them. I have even had them stay online while talking...playing games on the internet...and one was getting quite drunk also...while on the phone for hours. I just never saw any real attraction to phone conversations...especially lengthy ones. The need to deal with that, drives me crazy actually. It is just not at all my cup of tea. I hate the phone!  | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/5/2008 6:31:30 PM | I'm with the OP on this one, but since I don't originate from North America I have a strange relationship with the phone in general. As a result I will let the phone ring if busy or not feeling sociable, frequently forget to check for voicemails, and people quickly learn that if they want my prompt attention they must e-mail!
But I digress.
I did talk on the phone with one guy before we met up, which is extremely unusual for me. We ended up talking for about 2 hours and then chatted for hours when we first met in person. For an abundance of reasons it was not a match made to last, but this guy became a steadfast friend. I guess there are some people you immediately click with, at whatever level. With others you need to warm up to each other, if at all.
My fundamental reason for not wanting to talk on the phone is that I normally find the phone kind of stressful and I'd rather go straight from one-dimensional e-mails to a multi-dimensional meet and greet in person. IM doesn't hold much attraction for me either (especially the sordid ones!)
A. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/5/2008 6:37:03 PM | | Well the phone conversation is a step up from e-mails/msn ... it's usually good before the meet to confirm they are close to who they say they are (male lol) ... but it's def. more awkward than messaging | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/5/2008 6:50:07 PM | from my own personal experience... the call can be made to early :( sad but definitely a fact... you find it tough to carry a conversation because you really do not know enough about each other to say so how was so and so that you went to the other day? Hence you end up filling the silence with hum's and arrrs, and making bad first impressions.
On the other hand I have met a man before having a phone conversation and many emails back and forth (enough to feel that there might be a good connection) only to find he has a voice like nails being run down a chalkboard, very disappointing
Oh and then there’s the so tell me what your wearing phone call lol ... hmmm fuzzy slippers fleecy night shirt rollers in my hair and my retainer!!! Please! Oh I forgot the olde face mud pack there didn't I …
So I am of the opinion that there should be a phone call when there is a good comfort level; once I have gotten to know someone and proceed to date them I want the calls more than the emails .
PS I need to have at least one call so that he'll recognize my voice when I call to ask where the heck am I ? am I really that lost ? **** very directionally challenged individual**** | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/5/2008 7:28:29 PM | I was surprised to read that several gals did not want to give out their phone numbers early in the process of getting to know men. Did you know that you can put *67 directly in front of the telephone number that you are dialing and the person who receives the call sees that it is "restricted"?
I have no hard and fast rule as far as the methods used to communicate with prospective dates. Each man is different and I evaluate at the time. When his profile is interesting and his emails or IMs are 3 word answers, I always ask if he is a typist or maybe using a blackberry. Often that is the case.
Sometimes, he's messaging 2 or more women, also. In that case, I usually ask him to get back to me when he has time to concentrate on getting to know ME. If it appears that he is laboring to get many words typed out, I suggest maybe telephone would be easier. Many men are very happy to skip the typing and go to telephone. Some offer me their number immediately. And, I set up a day and time for a "phone date" so that my "restricted" call will be expected.
On the other hand, there are times when the man has asked for my telephone number and I explain to him that I prefer to keep my anonymity until such time as we agree to meet. On most occasions, they praise me for wanting to keep safe...and gladly furnish their number. On 2 occasions, 1 man stated that if I don't reveal my number he won't give me his. The other man said, if I was hiding my phone number, he wondered what else I had to hide.
I told them both that I understood and I felt we would not be compatible anyway, since he was unable to grasp the situation, and I left them both with the question, "What would YOU say if it were your sister, daughter or mother who was in my situation?"
If there is enough conversation flowing, interests are alike, and distance doesn't involve much planning, we go directly to meeting. I know when I feel that comfort level and it has always been fine. There are other times when I feel a few phone calls are in order to establish a comfort level.
I have been a professional communicator for many years and have no problem meeting new people. I am grateful for that ability. I have no particular advice......except, of course, for the information on *67.
Communication is fun....I always look forward to it.
Sincerely,
Knittin Kitten
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/5/2008 10:24:48 PM | I rather Enjoy our phone-chats . .
I could talk for Hours . . [and H a v e ] . . but...
we realize what Long-distance charges can do for ones finances . . !!
That lovely , sultry voice, though . . . . .  Siiiiiiiigh . . . .
I only hope that something unforseen doesn't happen in the next few months . .
Life is sufficiently depressing . . without 2 more broken hearts . . !! | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/6/2008 12:03:08 AM | I'm quite happy with never using the phone. If someone wanted to meet I'd probably give them my number in case they need to change things at the last minute or can't make it, but I'm perfectly fine with not having spoken to them before meeting.
I fully agree with the OP that a phone conversation with someone you don't know tends to be very awkward. If you're meeting in person you can always fall back on the situation(lots of traffic, busy coffee shop, whatever) and in IM or Email you have much more time to prepare, think and edit your thoughts. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/6/2008 12:38:52 AM | I am with the OP on this one. I think think the whole "phone before meeting" online protocol thing is kinda loopy but hey, to each their own.
I am on the phone all day for work. The last thing I want to do is be on the phone more with yet another perfect stranger. I would instead like to cut to the chase and meet them in person to see what is what. At least I can't gauge anything over the phone that I can't do better in person. I have always interpreted it as an emotional and safety thing for women but that is just my perspective.
I would be much happier without that unnecessary step but again, that is just me. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/6/2008 1:26:19 AM | | I think a phone call is good before you meet,it gives you a sense about that person your going to meet,I think your crazy not to want to hear their voice first,talk about meeting blind.to be honest,your not interested enough if you don't,plain and simple.To me email is so incredibly lame,and totally void of any sense of emotion ,so why would you want it?your really just asking him to send in a resume,because your not sure if you even want to meet him.for me,I like women who can skip THAT step, its all about the connection to us,not typing down our thoughts to send off to who knows where for someone to read and mabey get back with more inane typing,how pathetic is that. great for business ,but a rediculous time waster if you think any girl is going to be impressed with an email,yeah right. | |
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