| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/6/2008 5:14:25 AM | To 2Blovedeternal, I enjoy our lengthy chats too!!! Unfortunately I will have to cut back on the number of calls as my hours at work have been cut back....wah!!!
  
To IMWhatIM,
I also hate talking on the phone, finding email much easier to deal with. But 2Bloved and I never seem to run out of topics!!! The plus side of phone conversations for me is that one man I was very interested in last year could chat for lengthy periods on IM, but when we had our first phone conversation couldn't do anything but utter the occasional "Yeah" or "I see." We soon lost touch after that. If he can't talk on the phone, what would he be like when we first met face to face. I like to talk, but enjoy it more when my tablemate adds to the conversation. If I wanted to talk to myself I would stay at home, lol!! | |
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OLT4U
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Joined: 12/21/2007
Msg: 52 | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/6/2008 5:24:43 AM | skip phone conversation before meeting? hell no...
that phone conversation will tell me if I want to meet someone or not. I don't feel like you do at all. I'd rather NOT meet someone if I can't talk to them awhile first.
emailing to set up a date, not the way to go... people can say or be anything online... when your talking to someone on the phone, you can hear how they talk, how they breath, get a sense of their personality.
I've turned away from several girls after talking to them on the phone due to things like chaos in the background ( kids out of control) heavy breathing ( sickly and maybe fat too)... dull and depressing sense of humor and many other things.
I also like to get a full name before meeting someone and check on them to make sure they exsist, and not married before meeting them.
I feel your treading on a dangerous path to meet up with guys from email, it says your only looking for sex and you may run into someone who is more than you can handle. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/6/2008 5:32:47 AM | | Absolutely right. Not only is it awkward talking to a complete stranger on the phone....a voice is very intimate. I think there is a greater chance of actually liking the potential date if you see the whole person, especially eyes, which is difficult on the phone. If, for instance there is a lovely man out there, who has an "unusual" voice, it would probably by off-putting enough to avoid dating him......so, in short......talk AFTER the first meeting.......from experience! | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/8/2008 3:38:26 AM | OP.
I agree the first time talking on the phone, maybe a bit on the awkward side. I still would rather talk to the person at least a few times on the phone though for sure before ever meeting. Yes, IM and email is nice, but in my opinion a person really needs to hear the other persons voice to get a bit more personal feel for who they are before meeting. You can tell a lot from a persons voice and you can learn a lot about them from how they respond to you over the phone. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/8/2008 3:42:55 AM | | I am not crazy about the phone convo's either. I would rather just talk through email/im for a bit and then meet. I am not a big phone person, unless I already know you. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/8/2008 7:21:39 AM | | I agree - I emailed a bit and and then went to a meeting. I have ot talk to people on the phone quite a bit for business that I don't know, so I'm not interested in talking on the phone more at home. If you feel comfortable - I say go ahead and meet. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/8/2008 8:05:28 AM | | There have been some good points made here, but I would like to share my story with all of you...I always liked to make a point of having at least one telephone conversation with the person I was meeting....then I started e-mailing one guy (on another site). I asked if we could chat on the phone so I could hear his voice, etc. He told me his phone was not working. I made a decision to meet him anyway, and lo and behold, he was deaf. Talk about awkward....I was immediately upset that he had failed to mention that particular bit of information. I wasn't as upset that he was hearing impaired, but that he had in a sense lied to me. Plus, we met at a local bar which was loud and dimly lit...so much for reading his lips. Needless to say, now whenever I meet someone, if you can't talk to me on the phone for a few minutes beforehand, there will not be a meeting. Live and learn, I say!! | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/8/2008 8:19:40 AM | | I'm exactly the same OP. I hate telephone conversations with someone I haven't met in the flesh. I'd much rather meet and get the conversation flowing in person, plus it means you still have something interesting to talk about. When you meet someone in a bar etc, you haven't had telephone conversations before, and everything seems more fluent, but for some reason most men insist on it, I think it's to check out if you sound like a fishwife before they make the final effort. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/8/2008 8:32:47 AM |
A phone number that you can call anytime tells you a lot about the man.(He lives alone and not married or has a GF
A phone call will let you hear his voice and test out his sense of humor
A phone call will let you know if he can carry on a decent conversation spontaniously with you.
A phone call will let him know if you are running late for the date and to let him know you arrived.
I am with you here. However, until the first meet, the phone in my book should be limited. Why? Because you are being tested, not casually talking. And all assumptions are really on the other person's head, not based on reality. Once you meet, and you want to spend 5 hours on the phone, go for it. But not until the first meet. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/8/2008 8:54:54 AM | | I don't like to give out my phone number. I also have limited patience for Email/IM (my computer and I have NO chemistry) My opening is usually - 'would you like to meet for coffee?' It doesn't matter how well they come across in email/IM/phone, the only way for me to establish chemistry or not is in person. I would rather meet someone in a public place and not leave them with my full name, phone number etc. It is about safety of my person. For a lot of you, it sounds like you are trying to keep emotionally 'safe' and figure out who you can trust to meet and give a chance to. I give everyone a chance if they are willing to spend 30 min over coffee. I also have no problem with saying, "It was lovely to meet you, good luck in your search". and if I do, I think it is best that he not have my phone number in case of weirdness. I use this site to meet people, and while I meet a l0t, very few get a second date and even fewer get a third. I have made some great friends and met a lot of great guys that just were not for me. We could have wasted a lot of time on email and phone b/c we were compatible and could chat but there was just no chemistry. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/8/2008 9:08:59 AM | | I agree with smart cookie. I read in a psyc book that out of what is said only around 20% of that is in the words themselvs. The rest is tone, inflection, cadence, and the main is body language. Now you can get more of that on the phone, but face to face is the only way to get it all. I have met a number of women online. There have been very few that get weeded out over e-mail. I have on the other hand found out that there was no connection with a number of them over the phone. That being said I would rather skip all that, and go right to meeting for drinks, or coffee. There is no replacment for face to face. I usually try to skip e-mails. They are to impersonal, and I cant spell. So I offer my number. If they would rather talk online I undestand. There is a big saftey factor there. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/8/2008 9:30:27 AM | | Emails are a good way to break the ice and get to know someone. It should not be subsituted for an every day correspondence in getting to know one another. If you feel comfortable chatting with that person via email/IM, then why not pick up the phone. What you afraid of? Live a little. You can still put your number on private so the person won't call you, if you don't want them to return your call. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/8/2008 9:41:20 AM | | I do not like chatting on the phone unless I get a great vibe from the guy. I would rather do a meet and greet, I have done the phone thing but I prefer not too. I am not that chatty on the phone unless I am comfortable or know the other person - so I don't want the conversation to be a struggle, he may judge that as a first impression and you know how that ends. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/8/2008 9:42:48 AM | | I disagree and am surprised to find myself in the minority. I have to hear a woman's voice and the way she speaks before I meet in person, even if it is just a brief call to set up a meeting. You can assess voice attraction, intelligence, articulation, etc. You can do none of this by e-mail. It seems to be a generational thing as most people here who prefer e-mail seem to be younger. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/8/2008 9:48:40 AM | if i've IM'd/written with a chap for a bit and he wants to move to phone i'd prefer using skype - less chance of him tracing the phone call and where i live from that and less invasive - he can still only chat to me when i'm on the computer... but we can still hear eachothers' voices.. plus you can see eachother and it's free! 
if i'm to the point where i'd like to meet him, then i've obviously decided i like the guy and have some measure of trust in him, so would chat via phone to arrange the meeting details if he wanted to
the phone opens up my home-life to him - which means it includes my kids.. if he were to leave a nasty message on the answering machine, if he were to become a nuisance caller, then it would affect them too.. so, i'm very leary about who i give my number to | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/8/2008 9:50:52 AM | | I disagree and am surprised to find myself in the minority. I have to hear a woman's voice and the way she speaks before I meet in person, even if it is just a brief call to set up a meeting. You can assess voice attraction, intelligence, articulation, etc. You can do none of this by e-mail. It seems to be a generational thing as most people here who prefer e-mail seem to be younger. I bet all of you have cell phones too! | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/8/2008 1:59:25 PM |
So you think you can't be traced using Skype? Anything you do on the computer can be traced. Go ask someone who knows more about computers.
i have heard of ISP addresses being used to trace people and i'm sure it can be done.. but i don't think quite as easily as googling a reverse 411 (in canada) with the phone number.. of course, i could quite easily be wrong - i'm the first to admit to technical ineptness | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/8/2008 3:34:07 PM | It's totally necessary to speak on the phone, just aim to keep it short. Make up a lie, do whatever you have to and get off the phone after 10 minutes or so.
What if he sounds like Alvin and the chipmunks? What if he swears uncontrollably right off the bat? What if he breaths heavily (in a creepy way) at the sound of the word "children." What if he purchased a secondary "beater" vehicle that particular day, which is a red van that he plans to spray paint the words "FREE CANDY" on the side of it? Crazy people would tell you stuff like that, truuuuuust me. Maybe not to that degree, but they certainly can't act normal for any length of time.
I guess from a woman's perspective it's different. Not to sound like an ass, but there is a good chance you'll get free drinks or a meal just by skipping to the "meet" part of it. As a guy, I like to give a woman all the rope she needs to trip herself with.
I'm no cheap ass, but dating does get expensive ... and I do pay if a woman can get me interested enough to meet her. Gotta use what tools I have to weed out the crazies! | |
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