| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/8/2008 3:45:18 PM | diana619..I agree with you......You learn a lot from LISTENING by phone. A few e-mails, then phone...then meet for that first Rendez-vous. That's my technique and it works for me. That way I save having to shave my legs for a date from hell... | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/8/2008 8:15:13 PM | I like to hear a guy's voice , before meeting, but I do have to agree that one can be just as easily mislead about a person with a phone conversation, as email, messaging etc.
I've had many phone chats before meeting which seemed to go really well, and be very pleasant.
Then the actual meeting is very awkward, when the persona created by the phone converstion doesn't coincide with " in-person" perception.
So I would have to say, I prefer just to meet for coffee etc, instead spending time in phone conversations that can't speak for the face to face impression. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/8/2008 8:21:20 PM | YESSSS, I'm not a basket case!....hahahahaha
At least not in this instance! LOL
I will meet someone who interest me in an email very spontaneously, but I'm not/never have been a fan of the phone call!... | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/8/2008 9:29:07 PM | | Glad I stumbled upon this thread. I thought I was the only freak that didn't like phone conversations. They feel so forced and I'm terrible at small talk. I always get the person on the other end saying "Hello, hello. Are you still there?". Good to see most of the ladies feel the same way. Now I don't have to feel guilty/weird if she gives me her number, but I continue emailing. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/8/2008 10:17:44 PM |
You're not alone, OP... I'm the same way. I don't hate talking on the phone, and will do so if the other person is really gung ho about it. But my preference is to do a reasonable amount of emailing - at least enough to get a sense of whether you even WANT to meet this person. If the answer is "yes", then I'm comfortable going straight to the cup of coffee (or whatever). I rarely talk on the phone even with my close friends. I guess I'm just not a "phone person".
Yup, that's me as well (although I do talk on the phone regularly with my mom and sis.) But I find phone calls with someone I haven't met yet very awkward, and seldom of any value. I've also had a lot of experiences with guys that seem to *only* want to talk on the phone and keep putting off a meeting over and over. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 1/13/2008 8:26:16 AM | | I agree. Those who tend to be real and sincere usually want to meet within a few days. The long,drawn out chats and telephone conversations indicate to me something wrong.In fact i had a long distance relationship awhile back with some lady in Idaho who always called,chatted extensively but never met. We had some strong feelings for each other but if it never materializes into something Real it truly seems a fruitless venture.Trust your instincts and where your head and heart lead you Is usually the most sound advice one can give. My hats off to you. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 2/22/2008 8:56:27 AM | Strictly on a practical angle, I like to exchange phone #s just before meeting face to face. That way if one of us is caught in traffic (legitimate excuse, and it happened to one woman I dated) and will be running late, it is VERY courteous to call. I was already at the cafe, and without email access, and she was driving, also without email access. Her short phone call saved a nice date from becoming an awkward situation.
G | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 2/22/2008 9:03:05 AM | | I actually meet people from here all the time. And at one point, I decided I didn't need to give them my phone number or vice versa since 90% of the time, there wasn't going to be a date after that 1st meet. Soooo....I skipped the phone part. Not only was the guy incredibly rude to the wait staff, obnoxious as h*ll, and nearly 100 pounds heavier than his posted pics.......he had one of the worst lisps I've ever heard in my entire life. Voices matter to me. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 2/22/2008 9:22:44 AM | Nope, a voice that gives me the creeps doesn't get to meet me 
Well, if I can't imagine spending hours and hours listening to an irritating voice or tone when we get serious... so better not start it at all!
according to stats, guys are equiped with fewer words... may be that's why they prefer to meet and get physical before words come out... just wondering  | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 2/22/2008 9:25:07 AM | I don't like giving out my phone number or calling someone until I get to know them better. Online or off. If they are creepy, they don't have the resources to bug the crap out of you. You can always IGGY them online. I think being cautious is better. Then there are those that want to talk on the phone immediately and don't want to engage in IM/emails. Why be on here if you are not going to get to know someone in this venue? That sounds like someone that is very impatient and wouldn't take the time to get to know someone.."lets do the process of elimination on the phone quickly"????! Take the time or forget it... | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 2/22/2008 9:31:20 PM | I insist on at least one phone conversation before I meet anyone. Sure, it's not a 100% in knowing somone, but it has helped me many times to decide on whether to meet someone or not. I feel it has saved me alot of disappointment and in one case, it probably may have saved my life. I once was emailing back and forth with a man who was about 45 minutes away from me. It would have been an easy meet as far as distance was concerned. In email, he seemed fine and like someone I'd really like to meet. No signs in his emails or his picture that he was not anything but normal. I insisted we talk on the telephone at least once before meeting, as I usually do. Let me tell you...he was the craziest man I have ever come across from a dating site!
About 10 minutes into the conversation, he started saying really crazy things. He NEVER stopped talking and I could not get a word in edge wise. At one point, he told me, he was contemplating suicide and had the gun in his mouth that very night, but a pastor friend talked him out of it. He told me horror stories of his dating life and his life in general. When I finally had the chance to tell him that we were not a match afterall, he became very angry and threatened me. If I would have been out somewhere with him and said this to him, it is hard to tell how he would have reacted towards me in public or not. This man was crazy enough to have done anything to me no matter where we were. I am a mental health nurse and there were no signs of this in his emails. I would have easily picked up on it.
I absolutely will not meet without a telephone conversation for many reasons. As others have stated...you hear their voice, their intonations and reactions to questions, it is a sign they are truly single and have nothing to hide, you can tell if they have a sense of humor or are boring to talk to or will even talk, it does give you the freedom to call if you are going on the date to say you are late or are lost.
I am so glad I talked to that man that night on the phone and did not meet him on his emails alone. That's just my opinion and experience, but it was enough to convince me. Even if it is not a 100% sure way of knowing, it is better than blind faith to me. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 2/22/2008 10:28:25 PM | | Diana619, I totally agree with you. Although it may be awkward at first to talk to a total stranger on the phone, you can get a good "feel" for them that way. I think it's a good idea. Just my opinion. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 2/22/2008 10:43:31 PM | I'm a guy and I can tell a lot about a woman over the phone. Attraction down to the chemistry level are based on these physical attributes of a person. A beautiful female voice is very attractive to me. It even compensates a person's look. I mean, Luciano Pavarotti is not that good looking, but he can win pretty much any woman's heart just by singing.
That said, keep the conversation over the phone short and sweet. I hate chatting on the phone unless you can't meet up due to distance reasons.
For a woman, if you don't talk to a guy over the phone before going to the first date. You are in for some big surprises. Phone calls are not easy for guys. It takes some guts to pick up a phone and call the girl to ask her out. Email or IM is too easy. You can spend an hour try to figure out how to word the invitation and never think about it again afterward. But the phone conversation requires you to improvise on the spot, talk and think at the same time. It's a good evaluation of the person's communication, education, and intelligence. Besides, like others have pointed out, exchanging phone numbers are for practical reasons too.
Even though I personally feel a bit nervous to call girls to set up a date, I wouldn't do it any other way. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 2/23/2008 12:15:33 AM | | I save a lot of time by talking to guys first before seeing them. I can usually tell by a phone conversation whether I'm going to enjoy meeting someone in person or not. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 2/23/2008 1:14:40 AM | I would never meet anyone without talking on the phone. Maybe it goes back to my headhunter days......but I can tell so much from the phone ...that I could never learn from emails. I can tell you that I've given my cell number to several guys that have never used it.
That tells me they aren't serious......and it goes no further.
If a guy calls when he said he was going to.......then you can pretty much count on him to show up for the date . However, the main reason I want to talk on the phone is to hear the voice......the strength of the voice, the comfort of that person in the conversation...just so many things. If you are uncomfortable talking on the phone, I encourage you to push yourself to overcome this.......you can sell yourself so easily on the phone......the lilt or
joy in your voice may do a better job of creating interest than all the emails you could ever write.
Becca | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 2/23/2008 1:25:23 AM | i think its important to talk to someone on the phone before meeting them. you can tell alot about a person from a few phone conversations. its not always just about chemistry, its about your safety as well. you cant tell everything, but i have had a few conversations on the phone, that made me realize i would not be comfortable to meet this person. and every person i have met, even if they are not "the one" i can honestly say they were safe to be around. Internet dating is not like bumping into someone at a coffee shop or a club, you cannot feel someones energy via a few photos.
but i realize ALOT of people these days are into text messaging and emails. i just think that is impersonal. i mean if you are truly interested in someone, take the time to connect. constant emails or text messages or trying to meet before talking on the phone are INSTANT DEAL BREAKERS for me. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/18/2008 9:19:24 PM | The one time I didn't have a phone conversation before meeting was the one time I got stood up... So no, I'd rather not skip the phone step!
I like the progression from e-mail to phone to meeting in person. Each stage tells me something different about who I'm dealing with--and since any guy who ends up with me is almost certainly going to communicate with me in all three ways during our time together, I want to know how well he does at each, as I figure he does with me.
--Ms. Flis | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/19/2008 12:59:01 AM | There's me. I hate phone calls. I'd rather drive an hour, knock on the door and talk then calling. But obviously it doesn't happen like that. I don't even have a phone actually. I use skype to call when I have to or quarters. So there's a lot of I'll call you back involved. But phonebooth's calls' prices have skyrocketed! It's now $0.50! I might well get a phone!
All that to say I prefer meeting people in person (or internet) first and then phone becomes a not too bad option. But phone before person really kills me. I suck over the phone! So you have to know it's only over the phone that I suck...that's why the 'in person' has to come first :) | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/19/2008 6:11:50 AM | | I like to chat online or email and get to know someone before ever giving my number out or talking on the phone. Like most, if you don't know enough about someone it seems awkward and uncomfortable. Honestly, I want to make sure I want them to have my number first. Like some others said you can weed out the ones with red flags before moving onto the phone. If I can chat online in IM easily then I usually don't have a problem with the phone conversations, but if there is a lot of time in between messages in IM I feel the phone conversation will be the same and try to avoid that. | |
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