| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/19/2008 6:19:18 AM | Yesssssssssss.
One or two phone conversations are fine, as long as they don't drag on and on. I've met guys who wanted to talk on the phone for three or four hours a night for two weeks before meeting, and I'm the type of person who can't talk on the phone for longer than half an hour without looking for an old pair of pantyhose to hang myself with. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/19/2008 6:29:03 AM | I totally agree too. I'm not a big fan of the phone. My philosophy is that the phone should be used for work & emergencies only!!! I really dislike chatting for hours on the phone, especially to a stranger.
If engaged in a phone conversation for more than 10 - 15 minutes, my the battery on my phone "mysteriously" begins to lose power. Hmmmm go figure. 
Emails & IM's are definately my preferred method of learning about each other. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/19/2008 6:32:29 AM | I have yet to meet anyone off this thing but I think I would need to talk to them first. Anyone can sit and type and email with no pressure but if you can't hold an impromtu phone conversation because its "akward" then its safe to say that person won't have much to say on a date... So I would rather save us both wasting time on an akward one sided conversation date and move on.
Every girl I have ever given my number to or taken a number from I have atleast 1 or 2 long conversations with before setting up a date. If she can't hold a phone conversation then I know we won't get very far so I don't bother trying to date them. Conversation skills are on the top of my priority list when looking for a potential mate so setting up a first date thru emails is a FAIL in my book lol | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/19/2008 6:42:02 AM | | I also do not like talking on the phone until we are quite well acquainted. In person you can react to body language, expressions, etc. On e-mail, you have time to consider what you are saying. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/19/2008 6:44:47 AM |
No. I have to talk on the phone a few times before meeting an online date. Haven't you ever talked to someone on the phone and knew right away that it was not a match? I would *never consider meeting someone that I haven't talked to first. I can tell a lot about someone just from a call versus online typing.
yeah same with me,
breaks the ice too if youve already spoke on the phone
i dont feel like its like a first meet when ive done the awkward bit | |
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NERO1
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Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 106 | |
| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/19/2008 7:45:46 AM | OP, agree...............
Phone calls with a virtual stranger are just a big time-waster. IMO.
Might as well just meet up with them and see what they are like in person. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/19/2008 7:53:31 AM | | Yup absolutely. I used to spend a lot of time e-mailing back and forth and talking on the phone. You share all kinds of stuff about yourself and then when you meet, it's "Oh no, that can't be him...I hope that's not him". I think it's best to meet as soon as possible, have a short coffee or tea. If there are no show stoppers, then arrange for a first date. THEN you can do the phoning back and forth. I also found that, on these sites, there are some people who are just looking for an e-mail or telephone chat pall to relieve lonliness and boredom. I got caught one time when it dragged on and on and they resisted attempts to meet. Without that initial phone contact it rules out those who are JUST looking to chat. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/19/2008 8:04:00 AM | | Doesn't bother me to talk with someone on the phone before actually meeting. Is kinda partof the "unwritten rules" of internet courtship. But everyone is free to date and meet however they like as long as both people can agree...I did meet a fellow once before talking with him on the phone and it turned out to be nice date, but I don't normall do that...We had gotten to know each other well thru email and it "worked" that particular time. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/19/2008 8:28:41 AM | Although I'm not a "phone guy", I preferred to talk on the phone before I actually met a date. With on-line conversation people have all the time in the world to come up with an appropriate answer. With Messenger, poor grammar or spelling usually impaired my perception about the person. With a phone conversation, replies were relatively spontaneous and nothing was mis-spelled or poorly punctuated. It gave me a better appreciation of the person before deciding on whether we wanted to meet and get to know each other better.  | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/19/2008 8:35:12 AM | ^^^ I totally agree with the last poster
I would prefer to skip the emailing and go straight to a phone call to setup a date. I hate emailing and waiting for an email back. I don't like sitting in front of the computer anymore than I have to. I can talk to someone on the phone and get a lot of things done at the same time. If I am typing an email, I have to sit here and do one thing and things get taken out of context a lot of times in writing.
If you talk to someone on the phone you get a better feel of who they are. Plus I want to be able to get a hold of each other if there should be a problem. I had one date that was an hour late because of an accident, good thing she had my phone number.
I won't go on a date with someone that won't give me their number. Makes me think they are hiding something. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/19/2008 8:36:00 AM | If you meet somebody at a bar, party, bookstore etc, and you were interested in them, wouldn't you ask them for their number. I don't see how that is any different than asking someone for their number after a few emails. In both cases, you are basically exchanging numbers with a stranger.
I don't think it is good idea to meet up without exchanging phone numbers first. If one person is running late, then they could call the other person to let them know that. Personally 1-2 phone conversations before meeting up is okay with me. I can figure out a person's voice tone, ability to carry a conversation etc | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/19/2008 7:09:14 PM | | I hate talking on the phone. There are few people that I will have conversations with on the phone. It's fine, like the poster above said, to call in case there's a problem on the way to meeting up. I used to like talking on the phone when my best friend lived 100+ miles away and I rarely saw him. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/19/2008 7:18:32 PM | | No I believe u should communicate a little thru emails then I like to take it the next step to the phone for 1 conversation then step 3 is set up a date or not. I don't like to waste time on the phone with someone. U can spend months on the phone with someone and really like someone very easily by phone. When u meet in person u may not like that person after 30 min because they are not what u expected. Happened to me many times. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/19/2008 7:29:28 PM | I can appreciate that phone calls take a lot of time out of a busy schedule. Maybe it's because my kids are grown and my work schedule fairly flexible that I prefer at least one phone call prior to meeting someone in person.
Sometimes a person's vocabulary, vocal intonations, or speech patterns are a turn-off. I'd rather discern that over the phone. And, a couple of times I've made tentative arrangements to meet someone, then an intervening phone call saved me the time and trouble.
So, I can see it both ways. For me, personally, I prefer a phone call first, though. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/19/2008 7:35:40 PM | I think talking on the phone, even for a short period of time is important when trying to see if there's a phone chemistry. Is this someone you wouldn't mind talking to on the phone. for instance, is this a voice you can stand for more than a minute or two? And if so, does the conversation flow or is there that dumb silence. True chemistry between two people encompasses much more than just the physical.
You can tell if there's a certain amount of chemistry with the initial e-mails and/or IM's. But then, I like to hear the person's voice. Does it turn me on or does it make me want to cover my head. Some people like my voice, and some prefer those more high pitched tones. And here's something important that I've found. If we don't get along that well on the phone, I find that are actual meeting goes about the same.
If there's chemistry and enjoyment over the computer and the phone conversations are good. then the inevitible meeting. Some work out & some are disappointing , but that's just the facts of internet dating. Bitter with the sweet.... | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/19/2008 9:09:45 PM | A phone number that you can call anytime tells you a lot about the man.(He lives alone and not married or has a GF)
A phone call will let you hear his voice and test out his sense of humor
A phone call will let you know if he can carry on a decent conversation spontaniously with you.
A phone call will let him know if you are running late for the date and to let him know you arrived.
Yes, in my experience, the girl usually offers me her phone # 1st, I don't have to ask. That's AFTER 4-8 e-mails back & forth & so on. Like a lot of men, the phone's not my best buddy. And in my last SO, the mature chick wore it down to where she wanted
basically a strictly phone relationship (3 blocks away! Figure that 1 out!). (Should've started charging her my usual rate, $4.97/min, but I enjoy charity work, to a point.)
I have the radio/tv voice, like thousands of other guys, since I've done that work. It's a plus in that my love would rather hear "What would you like for breakfast, baby?" in my familiar tone than the recent immigrant's @ a McDonald's microphone.
Especially after she knows what I look and/or feel like.
Of course, I don't diss anyone based on a 10-min or 2-hr phone call. And if / when I get dissed, we save each other time & effort, & we can still be civil friends.
I VALUE conversation, the exchange of ideas, feelings, challenges to her/your wit, etc. Getting laid & getting serious are on most everyone's agenda. But we have mouths for more than oral sex & eating, right? How about the music & the laughter?
Grey matter between the ears counts somewhat MORE than cushy slippery desire between the thighs. Oh, oh. I'm done ranting, attracting myself now. That's not cool. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/19/2008 9:40:27 PM | I was just thinking about this the other day. Someone asked me for my phone number, and I didn't give it to him. I don't want to talk on the phone for a lot of different reasons. On the phone you only hear voice and can't see body language. I have to have the whole picture. I prefer the face to face encounter first!!  | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/19/2008 10:47:31 PM | | I find it very awkward to talk on the phone to someone I have never met. I would much rather just go ahead and plan a brief meeting...where either could bail if they wanted to...wouldn't be stuck through a long dinner. If the meeting went well then exchange phone numbers. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/20/2008 3:36:08 AM | I'm with you, OP. For whatever reason, I'm just not a phone person. In general, I don't mind talking on the phone to arrange plans or to ask someone a specific question, but I don't really like talking just for the sake of talking, except to a select few people. I must confess, I've got a hint of ADD in a way, and I'm always doing three or four things at once. When I talk to someone via IMs or email, I can get away with that. If I'm on the phone, I sound distracted and people get insulted. If I am going to have a phone conversation with someone, I'd rather it be with someone with whom I've already got a good rapport going, otherwise there's guaranteed to be lots of awkward silences.
Aside from that, my phone number is a very private thing, and I don't like giving it out to just anyone. It's fairly easy to block someone from IMs and email should a date go sour (as I'm sure almost all of us have had happen before). There's no way to block a person from calling. | |
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/20/2008 11:58:18 AM | I really only like to talk on the phone long enough to arrange somewhere to meet with a person, Then go talk in person. I like to look at the person I'm talking to.
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| Anyone else rather SKIP the phone conversations?
Posted: 3/20/2008 1:34:57 PM | I live in a more rural area. I think it's necessary to talk on the phone first because in order to meet, one or the other of us would have to drive an hour or more. I have talked to people on the phone and I could tell by the conversation that there was no reason for either one of us to make the drive.
If I found someone I wanted to meet in this town, I would probably do a first meet without talking on the phone first. | |
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