| How many women would get married again
Posted: 1/15/2008 2:06:30 PM | see from a couple of the responces that a few women have the idea that, not only they wouldn't marry, living together wouldn't be an option on top of that.
That's not an idea, that's a choice or preference.
These women also want long term just not in the same house hold... Isn't that kinda throwing the intire idea of being a long term couple out of the window? What future could one actualy expect from a situation like that..... Whats the piont of even getting involved??? I'm not knocking them,just kinda baffled by this type of logic. Sounds like someone that's been hurt bad & is affriad to give it one more shot....
Not really - I myself if I ever got involved again (questionable) would rather do a duplex, separate places or a real big house so I can get my space somehow. I like to know I can get away and isolate when I need to, and those situations have guaranteed space in em. Marriage isn't really my thing...so I don't plan on doing that, never have.
For me it's not a hurt thing, it's a free spirit/living alone for years thing. I like the fact that when I am home I don't have to answer to, talk to, or deal with anyone until I am ready to. Someone moving in (or vice versa) would mean going home wouldn't always guarantee a nice quiet evening/day when I wanted it. I like to be alone without someone else taking it as having anything to do with them.
Sometimes getting involved long term and seriously is a lot easier when you know it's not going to monopolize your life. People don't have to be together 24/7 in order to be involved. | |
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| How many women would get married again
Posted: 1/15/2008 4:56:07 PM | I'd love to be married... To the Right Man..... I'm already married to my job, but if I found a mate that I love as much as I love my job, I'd consider it.
I'm divorced, and don't want to go through that again. He was a great guy, couldn't have picked better, but those little differences that we thought were ok in the beginning, turned out to be mountains.
If I find someone else who I think could be it, I'm going to make darn sure we have more in common, and we both want the same things in life. It's not fair to either of us to only be looking for a solution to right now...
CowTrucker
Chapman, Kansas | |
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| How many women would get married again
Posted: 1/15/2008 5:11:01 PM | Marriage is a public confirmation of a private commitment. It is when we declare to the world that we have chosen this person to spend our lives with. Is it necessary? Not in today's world. But in my world I want to make that declaration to the world and have someone declare that about me. I also believe the commitment would be deeper on my part than when living common law. I would only live with a prospective mate if there was an agreement to marry within six or eight months of living together. If we cannot make a go of a commitment within that time we will not be able to create an ongoing relationship and need to move on.  | |
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| How many women would get married again
Posted: 1/15/2008 6:27:15 PM | i would consider it a huge step to date someone who lives in the same town!
my marriage basically consisted of me doing all the work. literally. i did all the laundry, cooking, cleaning, dishes etc. plus i worked full-time. me ex-husband drank. and did little else.
i realize not all men behave that way, but i have no inclination to put myself in even the possibility of that position again. i like my own living space and lots of down time.
i might consider a long-term relationship with someone, but he'd have to live at least 10 miles away. | |
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| How many women would get married again
Posted: 1/15/2008 8:51:06 PM | I guess I would. Never thought I'd say that again, but I'm a one man woman. Vows are important to me. If the right guy ever comes around again, I would do it. | |
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| How many women would get married again
Posted: 1/15/2008 9:10:25 PM | | I have been married and divorced twice..the first time, I was young and stupid, the seond time, I was just stupid!!! I don't think I will ever marry again. I do not want any more children. Marriage is good if you plan on raising a family, if not why bother. Either she will screw you, or you will screw her. If I met a man and fell in love, I would just want to live together in harmony. | |
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| How many women would get married again
Posted: 1/15/2008 9:22:14 PM | Back in the "stone age" there was a reason for getting married. Women were considered "property" and so were children. As a matter of fact, women usually had to come with a dowery. In order to protect that property "they" invented marriage.
I don't see a need for it anymore. Lots of people have children and arn't married. Women don't need to be married to buy a house anymore, plus we are more independent and can take care of ourselves. Well, most of us are.
I think it's romantic to get married. But I wouldn't do it the legal way. I'd do a spiritual ceremony. I mean, isn't that what it's supposed to be about anyway?
Breaking up is hard to do, whether you've got a piece of paper or not. | |
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| How many women would get married again
Posted: 1/15/2008 9:44:05 PM | | Whenyer strange mentioned the type of set up I would consider (after my last 2 flops). I think duplexes or adjoining houses would be spiffy! No marriage (too much legal tussle at my age). But, yes, adjoining houses with a long term committment and a loving relationship-AWESOME! | |
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Beedo
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Joined: 1/6/2008
Msg: 61 | |
| How many women would get married again
Posted: 1/15/2008 9:55:44 PM | I loved being married, I looked better, felt better, and quit smoking for two years,
It's funny to me when I hear of people letting themselves go, or having less sex?
Totally opposite happens to me within a commitment.
Just dont do it with someone thats not the one, your both immature, dont know yourself and , if your standing there thinking.. this will last about three years ... Listen to that voice, back out even if you are wearing the dress!!
" It lasted three years to the day when I moved out"
We both admitted it was for the wrong reasons, but you know it took five years for me to really recover, I loved being Married a lot, and miss a lot of what it gave me.
It was very hard to divorce even as I knew it had to be done, It made me really see it is NOT to be taken lightly at all, only when it's wrong is it just a piece of paper, And because of my divorce I can also see that when it's right..It will be and mean a whole LOT more than a piece of paper, and I WILL do it again Guaranteed with the right person, with a clearer understanding what those Vows mean. | |
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| How many women would get married again
Posted: 1/15/2008 11:45:44 PM |
How many women would get married again
Not me. No reason to.
We live in a disposable culture now days.
I don't think this is quite true. I think that if our grandparents had had options, they would have exercised them.
I also don't think it's relevant. I have a profound need for peace, quiet and space of my own. That's not available when I'm living with someone or married. It's not even available when I'm dating.
I'm also eccentric, not in a harmful way, but in a way that makes me socially a bit confusing and unpopular. I don't mind this. I don't need to be popular, but I've found that most men expect me to be. At the very least, they expect me to be a lot more malleable about it than I am, and get hurt and offended when I stand my ground.
Certainly, I've never met a man who thought I was fine the way I was. Women, yes, but not men. No, I don't try very hard, but I don't understand why I should, especially since being alone and not trying is a lot more pleasant and productive than being with someone and trying.
Loneliness might suck, but aloneness is a great pleasure. | |
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| How many women would get married again
Posted: 1/16/2008 12:22:16 AM | Oh good lord I wouldnt!!! Couldnt pay me enough.
Did that for almost 17 years.... :::cough cough:::: ...... It just isnt something I am interested in experiencing again.
Call me jaded! har har
^T^ | |
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| How many women would get married again
Posted: 1/16/2008 12:30:35 AM | Okay, this is very non-PC to say but...
I wasn't the girl dreaming of white picket fences and the frothy dessert-type wedding gown so... It was no skin off my ass when I decided to go through with it for my ex and my family. Were they the right reasons? Well, my only mistake was marrying a friend instead of friend and lover and doing it for everyone else because I thought it was expected and about time... And I wanted to set an example for my daughter who was 9 when I had my one and only wedding and married her step-dad when I was 32. (And I did set quite the example! A bad one!)
If it was THAT important to my partner... And he was fully aware that it doesn't mean as much to me... I would do it again if I really did love him and saw a future that included us flipping each other's neck wattle while rocking on the porch and listening to the loons. But it would be for him, not me.
Since my dad's dream of walking me through the trees down to the lake to meet my intended has been met... Since my mom's dream of the big party and friends and family gathered for something other than a funeral has been met... Since I have demonstrated already to my daughter that one should be careful and not make the same mistake twice has been met (variety of ways, not just my marriage mistake)... The expectations on me are non-existent.
I'm confident that the next time I'd be giving more of a gift instead of doing what I thought was right or expected of me.
And I'm fine with that. For the right guy.
If that makes any sense at all. | |
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| How many women would get married again
Posted: 6/6/2008 12:24:05 AM | To 'Live Together In Harmony' .. would be _Ideal_..!!!
Divorce...just as a Word .. is an Ugly term..!!
Still .. I'm not Above the Certificate .. if it's _Necessary_..!!
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| How many women would get married again
Posted: 6/6/2008 5:22:28 AM | (I am seriously considering a relationship where my partner and I would have separate households. At this age I can do that as I am not having any more children. I like my space... and I appreciate men more when I don't see them day in and day out.)
^^^^^^^^^A-MEN to that hunny theres nothing like leaving a satisfying date and goin back to your own house that lacks underwear on the floor, muddy shoes on the carpet, and stubble in the sink!!!!!!!!!!
so with that NO!! i would never remarry!!!! i finally got rid of my burden why latch on to another!!?? | |
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| How many women would get married again
Posted: 6/6/2008 6:51:46 AM | I've been down the holy matrimonial road three times before and I can't forsee myself taking another trip down there anytime soon. It'd have to be with someone that really rings my bell so to speak. So while it is a POSSIBILITY....... the thought is not really *there* in my mind.
In a discussion with a mixture of friends whom are married/single/living together over margartias the other evening. I proclaimed, I was gonna order myself a male blow up doll, buy a tuxedo and get him dressed and run up to the city hall and demand someone to marry us......... lol
Seemed logical after 32 ounces of margartias in my system but now I look back and crack up laughing at the very thought of it all BUT then again I would have gained a *inflatable* husband who didn't talk back....... and if he pissed me off so bad, I could just deflate him and put him away until I was ready to play again. 
Edited to add:: I would prefer to live in SIN for many years before considering getting hitched again. | |
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| How many women would get married again
Posted: 6/6/2008 8:08:54 AM |
I think duplexes or adjoining houses would be spiffy! No marriage (too much legal tussle at my age). But, yes, adjoining houses with a long term committment and a loving relationship-AWESOME!
I used to think so too...until I realized that if things didn't work out, now you'd be either buying out the other person, trying to sell and move to solve the problem, or wind up living next door to someone you used to date and saying hi to a lot of their dates on the way in our out of their side of the house.
So...put the houses about a block or two apart, and that's much better...then it's awesome. | |
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| How many women would get married again
Posted: 6/6/2008 9:12:21 AM | I am becoming more and more like Ravenstar........I would probably not get married again for I do enjoy my own space alot....however, a great commited relationship with someone who feels the same way about non-marriage and is willing to live in separate abodes while spending frequent time together would be the best of both of our worlds.
I love my alone time intertwined with my time with friends and with a lover/partner/whatever he is referred to....I enjoy the feeling of sharing emotions and thoroughly enjoying a monogamous intimate relationship together. I also treasure the hobbies, dinners, theatre, concerts and just being together and would not mind spending days for short periods of time together; but at some point I would want him to go home or me to leave his house to do the things I want/need to do or want to do alone and to have time to regroup.. and to enjoy time with my other friends, my children and my siblings. | |
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| How many women would get married again
Posted: 6/6/2008 1:19:42 PM | I seriously doubt I will get married again. I highly underestimated the difficulty of marriage and apparently my choices were not all that good. Between the odds of it working out and the emotional and financial fallout of when it does not work out, I would not opt for marriage at this point in my life, but I am older so that probably makes a great deal of difference. I also do not desire to live with someone. The two houses and a steady relationship is what I seek.
I would advise someone younger to marry if they are careful in their choices and don't feel pressured by society to be married just for the sake of appearances. | |
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| How many women would get married again
Posted: 6/6/2008 1:35:48 PM |
I used to think so too...until I realized that if things didn't work out, now you'd be either buying out the other person, trying to sell and move to solve the problem, or wind up living next door to someone you used to date and saying hi to a lot of their dates on the way in our out of their side of the house.
I used to think that I was the only one that had this point of view.
When I was younger I also thought the duplex idea would be perfect.
As I got older, I decided that my man really needs to be good 15 minute walk away.
That way we can get some excercise when one goes to the other's place.
Like a warm up at the gym. My family used to laugh at my eccentricity, but they
don't laugh anymore.....they're starting to see the wisdom behind the practicality.
Marry? Probably not. If it's really important to him, maybe.....but I'd still want 2 residences.
Can't abide someone in my space & in my face 24/7.
It is a private committment for me, I don't require public / legal verification.
~mizz
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