| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 9:49:58 AM | | He might of had a good time on the date, but not a good enough time to end his search. Basically, he is keeping you on the hook (forgive the fish pun), so that if one of the other ladies he's been talking to (who he thinks are better than you), decide one of the other guys they have been talking to (and like better than him) works out, there you will be, already for that second date. | |
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| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 9:50:36 AM | I write off people who vanish (at any stage, before or after the date) as being abducted by aliens. If I am really upset about the vanishing act I let my guys (aliens) know that the abductee should go through anal probing... lots of it.
I am just a spiteful person, that's all.
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naeco
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Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 28 | |
| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 9:52:07 AM | Sounds to me like they were hoping for sex, didn't get it, and didn't want to invest in more than one date for it.
Either that, or we're only hearing your perception of how the dates went, and their side of the story may be different. | |
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| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 9:52:27 AM | maybe after 1st date, plan the 3rd! tell him you are not really into second dates....but would like to see him for a third date!
Lol i should be happy never getting 2nd dates...
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| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 9:54:21 AM | | Lol Naeco..then why do they say they've had a good time? or do guys make a habbit of saying a load of crap? lol | |
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| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 9:59:25 AM | | they may have a good time but just are interested in having anything further with you. | |
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| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:02:19 AM | Cheer up, OP. You're not alone. I've had more one-time dates than you can imagine. Each one of them telling me crap like "we have an amazing connection," "you're the one" ... blah, blah. Then we'd have a date and they'd disappear. Not disappear from the dating site, mind you. I'd almost bet this has become some type of weird popularity contest to the long-timers of the internet dating sites ... like "I wonder how many dates can I rack up in my lifetime?"
It is sad that the distraction level is so high that so many get the "greener grass" syndrome. Whether people realize it or not, a supermodel is NOT going to sign up.
And if more people were realistic in their relationship goals, there'd be a couple thousand happier people in the world. | |
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| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:03:28 AM | Then at end of 1st date a simpe it's been nice...speak to you online sometime would be fine.
They don't need to make plans that they know they have no intention of keeping to and when they get home they could text to say...sorry i can't make second date.
Rather than wasting my time stringing me along...I then keep the evening free they said they wanted 2nd date on...and turn down other guys thinking i am going on a second date.
So not right...very bad manners and i doubt they'd be happy to have me do it to them. | |
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| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:07:57 AM | | Welcome to internet dating love. And i can assure you the same thing is happening here on my side of the pond as well. | |
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| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:09:21 AM | Sounds to me like you are too eager... smacks of desperation... Next time a man says... he'll call and "maybe" you can get together again soon... respond with a "Maybe" back!... Men need to know you are valueable and worth pursueing.... not ready to just drop everything from the get go.... for him.. scares them off in a flash!
As for reading men on a date... best to put on your reading glasses the first moment the date begins... watch his body language.. his listening skills.. does he hold a conversation.. an inquisition.. or a monologue... get the book on body language.. it helps in so many circumstances....
And if he still gives you all the signs of being interested... don't just send an email thank you.. Call him later and tell him you enjoyed your date, it keeps the conversation open ... Men do appreciate it! So many second dates go awry from just not being a little out there when it comes to communication...
Girlflower on dating hiatus... | |
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| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:12:17 AM | | I think they don't wanna spend the money for a second date, but I bet if you suggested my place or your's for the second date..it'd be on! | |
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| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:12:24 AM | | Why does she seem desperate? She just wonders why the guy didn't call back and she didn't say that she did anything to appear too eager...I have never had any luck with calling men, if they are not going to contact me after a date that says they didn't want to... | |
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| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:13:18 AM |
Rather than wasting my time stringing me along...I then keep the evening free they said they wanted 2nd date on...and turn down other guys thinking i am going on a second date.
This is why you don't commit yourself exclusively after one ,two or even 3 dates to someone without talking to that other person first.Go out on other dates .Why wait around for a guy to call. | |
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| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:14:50 AM | Exactly
I am not desperate and i have no problem with an honest guy who says...i had a nicve time, but don't want to meet up again.
I don't expect every guy to like me and i have more respect for a guy who is honest. | |
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mj999
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Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 40 | |
| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:26:53 AM | I really don't understand why people complain when they don't get 2nd dates, I think this behaviour is somewhat immature. You need to grow-up a little OP and not be over-sensitive.
If someone does not ask you on a 2nd date, they are NOT wasting your time, on the contrary, they are immediately sending you the message that the chemistry or whatever, was not there. Isn't it better to find this out sooner rather than later?. It does not matter what they say at the end of the date; most won't say, "sorry, I had a lousy time, you're not my type and I won't call you again", of course they will try to be polite and even lie a little, what else would you expect from a perfect stranger?. If you don't get a 2nd date, assume the interest wasn't there, don't get upset and move on, c'est la vie. | |
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| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:31:14 AM | tiggerkaz... your only 35! You are in your prime girl! Never wait for a guy at this stage of life... if he doesn't call you.. it's his loss!!!
I divorced at 38.. joined singles groups and learned very quickly not to wait on any man.... if they said they pick me up at 8.. and wasn't there at 8 they knew... they'd find my car gone at 8:15......
If he says he'll call and he doesn't ... just be too busy to wait... you only have some terrific years to enjoy your youth still and a very long time to be an old lady.... and yes I respect an honest.. you and I can be friends speech... but I never count on it (heard it too many times and guy came back, lol).. and I never seek affirmation for a second date! For a 35 year old lady there are soooooo many men to meet..... !!!!!!
Kick back and meet as many men as possible at this stage.. the right one is waiting to meet you...... and appreciate you and he'll tell you upfront.. wow .. I can't say goodnight because I don't want to loose you!
Aaaaah the good old days... sigh
Girflower on dating hiatus.. | |
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| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:31:29 AM | read the whole thread b4 u post Mj999...then u will realise i dont care if i don't get asked on 2nd dates.
I care that they ask me on 2nd date...keep me dangling then vanish...too coward to taxt tpo say they have chjanged their mind lol
Why can't people read? lol | |
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| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:43:18 AM | | This happened to me recently after a second date...but on the second date his cell phone rang, he claimed he "had no idea who it could be", then was in a rush to leave and was very uncomfortable. It was obviously another women, do men think we are stupid? Who needs men who are players anyway? Sometimes it's better to be alone than put up with the BS. | |
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| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:47:01 AM | Well when a guy tells you he has enjoyed your company, that he thinks you are nice...you tend to think he's telling the truth lol
Maybe he did enjoy your company and thought you were nice.
-Maybe that wasn't enough for him.
-Maybe he didn't feel all warm and fuzzy inside when he thought of you.
-Perhaps he didn't see long term potential.
From your quote above, I don't think he was lying to you. IMHO
Post Script....how is he leading you along after stopping things after 1 or 2 dates? | |
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| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:50:45 AM | He leads me on by saying he wants a second date...asking me how i feel.
Why care how i feel if he has already decided he isn't going to see me again?
Why say he wants to meet up again when he don't?
Why not just be honest?
honesty or so ppl say is what they want...yet they can't be honest themselves. | |
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| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 10:53:31 AM | Tiggerkaz, others:
Hi!
Marius66 told you right, “OP.....ignore what is told to you after the first date.....wait until you are actually on a second date to make up your mind.”
No matter how many times you write to an interested party and no matter how many times you spoke with them on the phone, until you meet them you don’t know if they are what you really want entirely. Also, the first date means nothing but a true introduction, which means that the other party could also be dating others as well even though you might not be aware of this going on. I believe that is what dating is all about, so most men and women will tell you. People don’t owe anybody the entire truth until the parties are truly into a relationship, so anything goes at a dating site and that can turn us all into gamblers, lol.. If a person is looking for something, permanent that does not mean before the first date or after the first date that it is going to work out that way.
Besides, I think that even if you think you know a person, you don’t just because you spend hours on the phone with them or writing them, that is what I call a veil, so the hours of talking is just building the itinerary. Once you meet them that is when you get down to the bottom of the itinerary list. Now the REAL things take place, so if after the first date they are too chicken to be straight up with you then they will never know how to be entirely honest with you even if you were building a permanent relationship with them in the future. So do you really want a second ,third or fouth date with someone like this? Besides that reason, they could have been juggling a few dates at the same time, and liked one of the other dates better and didn’t have the respect in them to explain to you why they will not ever talk to you again. Besides many people believe that they don’t owe anybody an explanation with the person they only had a first date and even a second date with is over.
This happen to me also, but I was the one that came out with why I didn’t want to further spend time with him. We got along great through e-mail and we got along even better talking on the phone, but when we finally meet on our first date, which was a blast I didn’t want a long-term relationship with this man I met. I could see having fun with him, but I had no desire to get involved with him other than a friend, but he wasn’t feeling the same way and I could tell. He was into me more then I was into him. Friendship yes but boyfriend NO! The next time we talked after our first actual date I told him in the best way I could and I have not heard from him since. Neither have I been on another date with him since. Therefore, it worked out the way it did.
I personally believe that if you going to start something being a decent person and end it in the same like manner it began. This way no body gets their feelings hurt in a bad way. Not to say that disappointment will not follow, but at least you were straight-up! You can walk away feeling that you did the right thing. By the wayside, I didn't sleep with him either, ever.
So there you go, take what you want and leave the rest.
Cheers!
Chela  | |
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| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 11:11:10 AM | You can't control what others do. Maintain your own goals and with a little luck perhaps you'll find your "perfect" match.
Bobcat | |
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| One date then nothing!!!
Posted: 1/6/2008 11:22:35 AM | It is pretty simple - Men avoid anything that may cause a scene. So they say they will call. I always take my clue from a couple of things they say or do;
They are not interested if:
- if the date ends right after dinner or movie ( or early) and he doesn't suggest continueing elseware - like coffee or a walk.
- if they say your are so "nice" or "geniune" or "cute" - they are not that interested usually.
- if they don't hold the door, try to hold your hand or try to sit close - probably no chemistry
Put any of the two above and there will not be a call.
If you are really interested why wait - email them and tell them short and sweet how much you enjoyed the date. Ask an open ended question and see if he responds. | |
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