| When they prominently say DANCING
Posted: 1/10/2008 6:41:32 AM |
As far as taking that nightcllub incident out of proportion, if you knew more about it you may have done the same thing.
Feel free to tell us what you do, but don't EVER presume to know what I or others would do. No, I would not have done the same thing, under any circumstances. And if I ever was with a woman who I discovered did something like that, I'd drop her like a hot potato. Sorry, stalking isn't my thing, and that meets the definition. | |
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| When they prominently say DANCING
Posted: 1/10/2008 7:37:24 AM | The original point was asking why almost EVERY female profile says dancing and it is not really accurate to call yourself a dancer if you do it twice a year when your cousin gets married or you are at the company picnic.
Hi Eddie,
I have looked at quite a few profiles, both men and women. I certainly notice that a lot of people do list dancing as an interest. But, rarely if at all, have I seen someone claim to be a dancer. It is simply an interest, something they enjoy doing or might enjoy doing whether it was in the past, now, or in the future. That is totally fine. I think for many if not most, dancing is something recreational they have fun doing now and then. Who cares if they are "good" at it or not. It is the joy and fun they experience while doing it that is important.
prettyladyfisherman | |
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| When they prominently say DANCING
Posted: 1/10/2008 8:28:33 AM | Dancing? Certainly they love to dance.
I go to single dances a few times a year. Every time I went, the dance floor is full and looking around the hall, I typically see more women than men.
I took tango and salsa lessons a few years back. The same here. Most times we had to pair a few ladies together because of a shortage of men.
Dancing? A quick hint to all the single guys. Do you want to meet some wonderful ladies? Take dancing lessons and you will have a great time.
Doc Sage  | |
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| When they prominently say DANCING
Posted: 1/11/2008 3:07:12 PM | Nobody says you have to be a pro at everything you do. Why not just do it because you enjoy it and no other reason?
Agreed. I list a lot of "interests" on my profile and my degree of competence or knowledge in each of them varies from the "damn good" to the "help seriously needed" category. One part of growing as a person is the willingness to try new or unfamiliar things and no one is a pro out of the starting gate on anything.
Far as being out of shape.. Ima tell you that in no way precludes enjoyment of dancing.
Heck, enough dancing and the shape will take care of itself (as long as other factors are accounted for too of course).
Dancing is a socially acceptable way of being close to your partner. It's readily available in almost any bar that you go to, and gives you something to do besides drink yourself into oblivion or choke to death on the clouds of cigarette smoke.
And in states where smoking is not allowed in bars -a law I have mixed views on[1]- that leaves only the "drinking into oblivion" as other options.
Lastly... the fact that a man is willing to at least try to dance, whether he's a pro or not, tells me a lot about him. He is adventurous. He likes music. He is not super self conscious and hell bent on what other people think of him. He will go out of his way to try and please his lady, even if it's not something he utterly enjoys. He is a sensual man that enjoys contact with his partner.
Good points -all of them. Dancing also (as you noted in a slightly different way) gives the man a socially acceptable excuse for a bit of bodily contact with some kinds of dances...long as he does not overdo it of course 
I've danced with a man who was 30 years my senior and had a wonderful time. I've danced with a man who had an artificial leg and also had a wonderful time. He gave me a cheeky grin and whispered that he liked to just stand still and hold the woman while she danced. Honestly that's what most men seem to do.
Well, it depends on the dance. If I know it reasonably well, I will participate and even (I know this will come as a shock to many women) actually lead. If not then at the very least there is still some exercise to be had as well as some fun of course.
Last but not least.. there's the old bar standard " He that doesnt dance, doesnt get laid! "
Really? I have never heard that one before 
Note:
[1] I think businesses should be able to apply for a waiver exemption from the state law -and I say this as a non-smoker. (People could then choose to go or not go there as they can anywhere and there would be more choice on the matter than there is now.) | |
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| When they prominently say DANCING
Posted: 1/11/2008 8:38:39 PM |
3) dancing maybe like sex to a woman, but playing in a band or acting on stage is a bigger rush than dancing,
I have heard women say that the way a man dances is the way he makes love, very scary in some instances! As for being or not being a "rush", it's more like a runners' euphoria for me.
And lastly..
and when was the last time a room full of people stood up and applauded you had sex?
Okay, I just quoted this cause it was funny as hell....I really don't dare say anygthing in response. I will say I've never been booed "offstage" before though, lol.
MS | |
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| When they prominently say DANCING
Posted: 1/12/2008 12:32:04 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^Agree with mikkisue^^^^^^^^^^^^
Dancing is a great way to explore someone's inhibitions and give you an idea about what sex might be like. Good thing to go do with someone before you take the step of having sex. Just my opinion (and experience). It's like a litmus test  | |
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| When they prominently say DANCING
Posted: 1/13/2008 1:21:20 AM | sorry east side eddie, but applying your logic to the interests you list on your profile --including "sports" and "solving the worlds problems"?!* ...hmmm.... maybe you should weed out a bunch of those and all of us dancers will follow suite with what we enjoy! i mean a woman cannot be "fat" and have a body of a 56 year old and still dance? but a man can list sports and not have a body of a 20 year old and a bum knee?  gee, even this banana can dance! | |
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| When they prominently say DANCING
Posted: 1/13/2008 6:29:11 AM | How can so many people, almost 1/3 of the people replying to this post, claim to be intelligent and SO BADLY veer from the question?
The original question:
So women, when you know a man simply does not dance, does that eliminate him from your pool? Would you not date maybe the BEST guy you could ever know because he doesn't dance?
Nobody said anything about "fat people can't dance". Well, I didn't... What I said was that if someone dances A LOT they would be in great shape because it such a strenuous activity. Someone decided that those words equal "Fat people can't dance."
I cited one woman I know as an example, one who dances at leats 5 nights every week, in a dance studio, with a proferssional coach, as she prepares for contests, and she happens to be in amazing physical shape because of it. The logic continues that if you have a strong interest in dancing and do it often, then you would likely be in very good physical condition from it. I would apply the same logic for people who ride their nike every day, run..... because in order to actively participate in those interests you would have to be in good shape.
I define the word "interest" as "Something I do very often as it gives me a sense of fulfillment".
So it seems like I need to ask the question again. Do you fear that listing an interest, giving the impression that the interest is such a huge part of your life that it is a "must have" feature in your prospective mate, might keep someone from contacting you and possibly you'd miss out on a good match?
I also found it hilarious that people who viewed my profile could even poaaibly take "solving the world's problems" seriously, particularly when right next to it is "professional sarcasm". If you read my profile and have seen my forum posts for all the years I have been here it should be obvious to you that my mission in life is to be a ball buster....
And as far as any "fat" comments you have attributed to me despite the fact that I did not say that, did you not SEE that I AM FAT myself???
Some poeple take POF in general WAAAAAAAYYYYYY too seriously. Lighhten up and try to discover that elusive trait known as "sense of humor" that you are missing.... | |
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| When they prominently say DANCING
Posted: 1/13/2008 7:05:00 AM | I enjoyed your post.
I am a professional Middle Eastern belly dancer with experience in most social and ballroom dance styles. I love to go out dancing and sometimes go out dancing alone, because I don't expect a date to want to do it. When I go to a club or Bar it is because I know the style of music they play. I go specifically to dance and not drink or hang on the bar. I do not turn down anybody who asks me to dance (based on their appearance or their lack of abiliby...unless I observe them doing that grinding hiney thing I hate!)
That having been said, I never would expect my date to be a good dancer or want to dance any more than he should expect me to want to go play golf with him.
Thank you for your post. | |
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| When they prominently say DANCING
Posted: 1/13/2008 7:08:55 AM | | Dear Eddie, you define the word interest as.."I define the word "interest" as "Something I do very often as it gives me a sense of fulfillment". I, coca2 define it differently. I define it as something that interests me, no matter when or how often I do it. I love to travel , yet I can't do it all that often. I love to dance, cook ,ect.. yet I don't get to do it all that often. I am interested in all of that. And as I stated before, I would not negate a man because he did not dance. | |
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| When they prominently say DANCING
Posted: 1/13/2008 7:31:14 AM | i have 'ballet' listed as an interest. does that count? i had to retire from it when my hips went bad.
i do dance well, but if you want to talk social dancing, i only do dead shows and reggae. i can't dance to the crap they play in clubs these days. live bands are a different story.
honestly, if a person knows their right foot from their left and can count to eight, they can dance. how well they dance remains to be seen. if they want to dance, they can. if not, they don't. i don't think everyone should dance, but i think everyone can. i have yet to meet someone i couldn't teach as long as they have the interest. | |
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| When they prominently say DANCING
Posted: 1/13/2008 9:28:34 AM | I dance. I take Country dance lessons 3 times a week. There are not many places to go to country dance around here, so our classes hold their own dances. I'm not the world's best dancer, it doesn't come natural to me, but I am getting better at it. I enjoy it very much. I line dance and couple's dance when I have a partner. Two step, cha cha, and waltz.
I would consider dating a man who doesn't dance, but I would hope that he would give it a try, or at the very least accompany me and enjoy the music on occasion. But as long as he didn't stop me from dancing, it would not be a deal breaker. | |
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| When they prominently say DANCING
Posted: 1/13/2008 5:12:26 PM | How can so many people, almost 1/3 of the people replying to this post, claim to be intelligent and SO BADLY veer from the question?
It is called a "forum" and things rarely move linearly on forums.
The original question: So women, when you know a man simply does not dance, does that eliminate him from your pool? Would you not date maybe the BEST guy you could ever know because he doesn't dance?Nobody said anything about "fat people can't dance". Well, I didn't... What I said was that if someone dances A LOT they would be in great shape because it such a strenuous activity. Someone decided that those words equal "Fat people can't dance."
Not necessarily. Weight is gained through consuming more calories over your body's maintenance requirements than is expended. Even if you dance for three hours a day and (perhaps) burned 900 calories in the process, consuming a double cheeseburger and a mcchicken from the McDonalds value menu afterwards and you have wiped out whatever calories you burned in the dancing.
I define the word "interest" as "Something I do very often as it gives me a sense of fulfillment".
I do not define the word the same way you do.
So it seems like I need to ask the question again. Do you fear that listing an interest, giving the impression that the interest is such a huge part of your life that it is a "must have" feature in your prospective mate, might keep someone from contacting you and possibly you'd miss out on a good match?
No because I do not define interests that way and make it clear in my profile -or at least I think it is reasonably clear.
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| When they prominently say DANCING
Posted: 1/13/2008 5:47:56 PM | I wonder if I had said "camping" how empassioned these replies would have been? Th eoriginal post wasn't even realy ABOUT dancing specifically, just about "AN INTEREST" though I chose dancing as the topic.
Okay. You list CAMPING as one of your keen interests. A guy hates camping so he passes you by. However, you go camping once per year. By listing camping, you imply that every weekend you pack up the Winnebago and head for some state park. Your possible life mate doesn't ever write to you because he hates camping.
Put in FISHING. Or KNITTING. Or SEWING. Or UNDERWATER WELDING.
Will anybody get the point here? There is a huge difference between your interests and things you might be interested in. Your interests are things you do. Things you are interested in are things you might get around to doing or do once a year.
And I am done responding here. This turned way off course and it's getting ridiculous. | |
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| When they prominently say DANCING
Posted: 1/13/2008 6:13:42 PM |
There is a huge difference between your interests and things you might be interested in.
For someone accusing others of not being intelligent, you seem to be a bit slow to understand yourself. Take a long, slow look at your sentence above, particularly the words I've highlighted. It should be obvious, to any reasonably sharp reader, that there's most definitely NOT a huge difference between things that are "interests" vs. things that you're "interested in." In fact, the huge majority of readers, as this thread would appear to have made obvious, managed to figure out correctly that those two are basically interchangeable in the English language. If you should choose to assign your own meanings & definitions, different than the meanings obvious in the English language, please don't accuse others of a "lack of intelligence" for not agreeing with your own nonstandard definitions and meanings! | |
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| When they prominently say DANCING
Posted: 1/14/2008 8:36:13 PM | In response to Eddie's question, (as I understand it....)
Yes, when an interest is stressed their profile, I have been known to pass that person by. For instance, when I read a profile with an emphasis on his motorcycle, riding with friends, pics of his bike etc., I almost always pass that one by. I want to date a man for who he is, not the image he tries to portray, or the romanticism of the biker lifestyle. I'm more apt to reply to a profile that gives me a clear idea of his humor, his personality, how he thinks.
So, possibly, others would see my interest in dancing in an unfavorable light too. Their impression may be of someone who hangs out in bars, drinking, smoking, chasing men. They may think I would insist they learn or force them to go with me at the very least.
Even if a profile doesn't stress an activity that I don't enjoy, but merely mentions it, certainly that colors my impression of that person. Your profile paints a picture... some use watercolors, some use oil.
MS | |
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| When they prominently say DANCING
Posted: 1/15/2008 8:27:12 AM | I know that the OP is done here now. He did state that " Will anybody get the point here? There is a huge difference between your interests and things you might be interested in. Your interests are things you do. Things you are interested in are things you might get around to doing or do once a year ".
I disagree with his definition here. I feel that they are both the same. For example , I am interested in cooking and cooking interests me. I also cook as much as I can. To stay on topic..again.. I would not dismiss a man if he did not dance. | |
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| When they prominently say DANCING
Posted: 1/15/2008 10:22:06 AM | well, for me, i've been dancing since i was about 8 years old. i did some ballet, but mostly jazz, and progressed to cheerleading in high school. through high school i took dance classes where we did most everything from ballet to swing.
i currently dance with my college's dance team and i also frequent night clubs and bars. if you go there, you'd definitely see me dancing. i tend to do more of a go-go dance, but i do go to a club where one room is entirely salsa, bachata and cumbia; mostly latin dance. i dance in my car, i dance in my room, i dance at work, i dance all the time. | |
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| When they prominently say DANCING
Posted: 1/15/2008 10:28:27 AM | | Dancing is different for everyone. For me, it's locked up in my apartment dancing to the TOP 40 lol. However when I go out with friends, we hit a salsa club, or reggae club and dance the night away. | |
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| When they prominently say DANCING
Posted: 1/15/2008 10:59:20 AM | | Eddie .... if you want a cut & dried, simple answer, then make your initial post that way. Your original post had a little "veer" of it's own.... so everyone else veered a little too. Your post may have been crystal clear and direct in your mind but that is in your mind and without hearing your voice stress the part you felt strongest about .. then we all sort of pick on the words that perhaps we feel stronger about. Perhaps the outcome would have been the same. These posts always make me smile and sometimes laugh. Ever notice that cows do not walk in a straight line across a field? People are sort of the same way, especially when there is a time delay in responses. If we had all been talking in person, you would have easily been able keep the responses in line until you found out what you wanted to know. Frustrating..yeah, ridiculous..somewhat, funny..absolutely! | |
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| When they prominently say DANCING
Posted: 1/15/2008 11:46:15 AM | So is it okay if one dances in the privacy of their home when they clean house..if we are not professional dancers?..and if we do it seminaked does that make us really bad??..don't get angry..just a little humor,you do like sarcasm correct?..lol | |
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| When they prominently say DANCING
Posted: 1/15/2008 9:31:03 PM | I fully understand what Eddie is saying regarding interests and whether someone would not contact you if your interest ( eg dancing ) was something they had no interest in .
However , I believe that when someone lists their interests they are trying to round out their online personality , give a little more insight into their personality,etc.
Personally , I don't contact anyone who mentions too many interests that are similar in nature eg offroading, motorcyles, etc ,that would mean not just a different interest but different lifestyle than mine .
I list dancing as dancing is a passion of mine and I'm very good at it be it ballroom , freestyle or whineing (only some peeps will get that reference lol)
Would I date someone who doesnt dance...absolutely ..in fact most of my long term relationships were with men who didnt dance. However I also list my family and music as a passions and if someone didnt like children, dancing , AND music, then then would have little in common with me .
The more information we put in profiles, the more we can find of interest in someone.
The only profiles I would not take a second look at are those who dont list ANY interests... How boring ! lol | |
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