| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 1/6/2008 4:48:19 PM | chewmanfu,
I am not looking to try to make him out to be a "bad guy" I think I am too close and have way too strong of feelings for him, so I am not using the clearest of judgement when trying to understand his behavior. I visited him in November and we talked about him moving back to our hometown. I told him he was welcome to stay with me. We talked during that time about our 'relationship' and he has always tole me I am very important to him. I did not expect him to move in and for us to have an instant exclusive relationship - but I did expect (apparently erroneously) that we would continue to build on what we had. At this point he really doesnt want to have anything to do with me.
I hope this helps to clarify. | |
|
| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 1/6/2008 4:54:55 PM |
I am not looking to try to make him out to be a "bad guy" I think I am too close and have way too strong of feelings for him, so I am not using the clearest of judgement when trying to understand his behavior. I visited him in November and we talked about him moving back to our hometown. I told him he was welcome to stay with me. We talked during that time about our 'relationship' and he has always tole me I am very important to him. I did not expect him to move in and for us to have an instant exclusive relationship - but I did expect (apparently erroneously) that we would continue to build on what we had. At this point he really doesnt want to have anything to do with me.
translation= she isn't going to kick him out and never talk to him again | |
|
| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 1/6/2008 6:26:35 PM |
translation= she isn't going to kick him out and never talk to him again "Where's the rent?"
"I'll have it next month."
(Yea, right) | |
|
| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 1/6/2008 6:41:46 PM | He's good to you when he WANTS something from you.... or when he's not getting it from someone else.
Go to the library and read that book... "He's just not into you" It's a quick read and might make you go... HMMMM he's JUST not into me!
You deserve to have someone into you.... that you're into as well!
There is another saying.... 1st time shame on you... 2nd time shame on ME.... How many times are you gonna regret ur letting him hurt you..... | |
|
| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 1/6/2008 9:30:41 PM | He's using you--plain and simple. The signs are all there. This guy has to move out of your basement and you need to get on with your life WITHOUT him.
Ask yourself what is the most self-respecting thing that you can do in this situation and then do it. Good Luck ! | |
|
| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 1/6/2008 11:16:25 PM | This is going to sting, but you need to hear this. So be prepared.
What he sees you as is what I used to call in my 20's the "low hanging fruit". What this means is the woman that I can easily manipulate to take whatever crap I dish out to her and keep her reeling enough to keep her around to continually use her until I am finished with her and I get what I want at the time. This person also defends him vehemently and sometimes violently saying "he is the sweetest blah blah blah" or he is the "best to me blah blah blah"
The bottom line is, every user needs a victim and guess what, you are the classic victim.
Until you work on the things inside you to change that, this and every guy who is immature enough to still live through this vein of existence will use you as well. And I am sure the next thing out of your mouth will be "not every guy does this to me, how can I be a victim", well not every guy chooses to do this but they could if they a>knew how or b> wanted to.
Now that the kick in the back of the head is over... I suggest to seek help through professional means. They will help you see your behaviors and what you are doing to attract people like this over and over. I know this seems disproportionate to your post but I just get tired of hearing people have the same posts and not "get it" as so many people say.
Take it as you will, just my 2 cents. | |
|
| |
| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 1/7/2008 7:38:47 AM | | You do understand the concept of being used, right? He's getting the best of all worlds. He lives in your basement, so he never really has far to go to "get some". You've allowed him to cast you off when he feels that you're getting too close. Words are easy...... He may say that he wants to work on your relationship, but his actions paint a very different picture. | |
|
| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 1/7/2008 8:43:58 AM | We don't know. We can't read minds.
We don't know. We can't read minds.
We don't know. We can't read minds.
We don't know. We can't read minds.
We don't know. We can't read minds.
We don't know. We can't read minds. | |
|
| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 1/7/2008 8:45:40 AM | ^^^ Hey... you just posted that elsewhere... I can read posts, if not minds.
OP, the word that comes to my mind is Codependent. Seems like you are enjoying this after all... So, good luck.
 | |
|
| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 1/7/2008 11:32:37 PM | He's using you as an anchor point to come back to in case things go bad in his life, because you'll accept him.
Best thing you can do is cut him loose and move on with your life. He will NEVER fully commit to you. He is only using you and does not love you. | |
|
| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 1/8/2008 12:25:36 AM | Jestrada71 is right on target.
Didn't you post a different thread about this guy? I believe everyone told you to get rid of this guy on that thread too. Are you just fishing for some reason to keep letting yourself be used? | |
|
| |
| |
| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 1/10/2008 6:43:59 AM |
We have had some arguments, and at this point he has told me he needs space and time - to learn to trust me again.
Wondering if there is something youre not telling us about why you broke up in the first place? Were you caught in the neighbors basement with another guy? | |
|
| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 1/10/2008 8:42:51 AM | When someone shows you who they are, beleive them the FIRST time.
Maya Anjelou
Good luck sweetie. Look forward and NEVER look back. | |
|
| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 1/10/2008 8:53:58 AM | of course he says you are very important too him....why not? you provide the basement and the doormat.....
This guy is not a good person....accept that, endure the personal inevitable personal hurt, drop back seven yards and punt. | |
|
| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 1/10/2008 8:54:41 AM | "Don't make someone a priority if they are only making you an option"
You aren't even an option, you're just some he's already decided he doesn't want to be with, but you're good to fill time with while he dates around and looks for someone he DOES want to be with.
Get out, move on, stop taking his calls, you can't even be friends with him. And why would you want to be friends with someone that's willing to use you this way, anyway? | |
|
| |
| |
| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 1/11/2008 9:51:44 AM | Plain and simple,your just the back-up.When he finds someone else,your shoved away.Your a very beautiful woman ksbbw,go find a man who is willing to love you.I know he's out there. | |
|
| |
| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 1/11/2008 5:25:00 PM | I'm sorry if I'm just reiterating what everyone else has said, but I find it sad that you obviously have feelings for this person and he is exploiting that for his own convenience.
If he was interested in having any kind of relationship with you, he wouldn't date other women, PERIOD. If he is testing the waters to see what else is out there, he is not interested in being in a relationship with you and he never will. I feel for you and I find it repulsive that someone would use the genuine feelings of another person to swindle and manipulate them. | |
|
| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 1/12/2008 12:29:12 AM |
(he lives in my basement) // He claims to want to work on our relationship
That means one thing, he's just saying that to stay in your basement. That's it. He doesn't ever plan on "WORKING ON IT," so don't wait for him. Move on. | |
|
| |
Home
login 
