| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 2/28/2008 10:28:01 AM | | I gather you pretty much are going to keep seeing the guy, keep getting used by him, and still dream that something different will happen. Well, it won't. Why? It's too easy for him, so why change? | |
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| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 2/28/2008 4:34:41 PM | | I dated a man for over 2 months and it was going great althoug hes a workaholic. The calls died for awhile.. then I was away at xmas. Came back- had no message from him. Went to his apt- heard a lady in there- he did not open his apt when I knocked. He later told me it was a couple visiting him. I also fou nd lipstick in his bathroom the next week- he claimed it was that couple that stayed there. I wanted to know what was happening and of course freaked about what I saw a nd found- he denied any woman. He told me(as I demanded to know either way!) he did not have time to commit as hes too busy but still wants to be friend and talk. I decided not to call him anymore. Then he starts calling me up just on weekends usually later at night- talking and asking me over. When we are together I should know the energy and chemistry is a 10 out of 10 and I am 43 no kid! He has been very sick too- the drs are trying to find out what is wrong, he usually cannot have sex at all either- so this is a big strain on the relationship. I confided its ok as I care so much for him Im willing to be patient..., then I had no word from him for 3 weeks. I left a message on valentine's day- told him how I really feel (for the first time ever) that I really dont want to see anyone else anad I am very happy with him and I feel there is alot of potential...and that even if it did not work I know we can be great freinds- we have this amazing bond- normally we talk ALL NIGHT til 600 am when we are together! So I met his buddy in a coffee shop and told him I did not konw if we were together or he was with someone etc-. His buddy called the man I like right up and the man I like called ME. He wanted to see me that night. I went over. He seems alot more attentive to me now. He even calls me baby again. But he NEVER said we were back together. In the morning he hardly said 2 words but it was very very early when we left.. I am dumbfounded. I know he KNOWs how i feel and I told him before if he does not feel im THE ONE for him dont waste my precious time! I am seeking a soulmate and its my goal- he knows this! Maybe he is having secodn thoughts now- distance and time does make the heart grow fonder. He is not one to open up. I wont contact him but if he does want to see me- I want to know WHAT TO SAY EXACTLY to him to find out what is happening on his end. I dont want to scare him off either!. Oh- he AGAIN told me there is NO OTHER WOMAN and I can tell hes not lying.............. I can see my whole future with this man but the sex thing is a huge huge issue. He usually goes to the couch to sleep he feels so bad that he cant please me at all....it does not bother me as much as I am sure it bothers him. He is younger than i am too! | |
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| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 2/28/2008 7:25:55 PM | my experience is that how a guy acts reflects much more about his feelings, than what he says.
when he opens his mouth, there are social pressures, fears, and well men do like to say the "right" thing so they don't get in trouble.
Pay attention to his actions. Do they say "baby I want to work on it?" I don't think so.
sorry
Silk | |
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| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 2/28/2008 7:38:44 PM | Like everyone has said, this guy is using you.
From what you have said you have made all the effort and have done all the pursuing. You went to see him. You offered your place for him to stay. You are doing all the giving and he is doing all the taking.
Kick the leech out and completely stop giving to him and see what happens.
You obviously are a kind hearted person and deserve better than this scumbalino. | |
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| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 2/28/2008 8:26:26 PM | He may be into friendship but he does not have the right intentions or maturity to develop a real relationship with you good luck fishing.
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| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 2/28/2008 10:00:14 PM | | As I've said elsewhere... Sometimes if you really love somebody the best thing you can do for them is force them to stand on their own two feet without you there to prop them up... | |
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| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 2/29/2008 12:49:22 AM | | it means your a convinient booty call for him, sorry but thats the way it is, dont give it up to him and see what he acts like, thats the tell tale right there. | |
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| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 2/29/2008 3:54:59 AM | I think you should put the shoe on the other foot and see if he likes it!
If he does not mind you dating others........ then he cannot have feelings for you!! | |
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| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 2/29/2008 2:46:44 PM | Does his living arangement in the basement depend on your good will?
Was his promise of working on your relationship made to bolster your good will and extend his stay in your basement?
He needs space and time to learn to trust you again?
I don't follow, did you promise yourself to him and go out and bang a bunch of dudes?
Personally the whole thing sounds like a load of crap and I wouldn't waste my basement or anymore time on this guy. | |
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| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 3/3/2008 4:11:35 PM | Kick him out.
He will only pester you when he can't get any from anyone else.
Tell him to sod off and don't look back.
Do it with a banana too. | |
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| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 3/31/2008 5:23:15 AM | | Stop wasting your time........ it's obvious that if he had no one else, he would want to use you to fall back on............... | |
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| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 3/31/2008 7:40:12 AM | | It means Miss, that he is worthless. He insults you at every turn and shows no regard for your heart at all. You know that you deserve respect and to be treated in an honorable fashion. This so-called gentlemen, could be classified as having a borderline personality disorder. The world is full of these people Miss. they believe they are only here on earth to satiate their own needs. they use and manipulate others. I know little of you but, my intuition and experience tell me that you long to be loved ergo; you wish to love too. Take care. | |
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| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 3/31/2008 10:33:36 AM | | It means he is narcissistic and only cares about himself.....move on and don't waste your time! There are plenty of fish....lol | |
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| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 3/31/2008 3:50:32 PM | | You manage to slip a couple "oh by the way" zingers in there matter-of-factly. Just started to date him again but you're living with him and he's dating others and needs his space. How'd he end up in your basement? | |
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| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 3/31/2008 6:03:46 PM | Are you insane?
No, really...are you insane?!
OK first off, unless you want to be the convenient woohoo for all eternity, boot his ass out.
I could go one with several other analogies but-do I really need to?
Seriously, don't YOU think you're worth better than that? | |
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| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 4/1/2008 1:00:35 PM | As a rule a guy says exactly what he means to say, Dont try to insert hidden messages or interpret it as more than what he said. The question is wether he's lying or not.
Lets assume for a moment that we were dating, it wasnt a deep connection for me cuz I was still looking elsewhere, I find someone else that I really like and go, 2-3 years later im back, I remember that I liked you but you werent exactly what I was looking for, hmmm, why am I back...cuz your familiar, safe, fun and someone that will give and that I can drop again when I find again what im looking for. Hmmm, thats kinda harsh, hope im wrong. | |
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| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 6/12/2008 5:03:47 AM | Wait wait wait...
He dumps you for another girl, moves for her and he says that he need to learn to trust YOU again?
Holy crap, tell this dude to get out of your house because he doesn't have a clue. And you need to tell him that since you have a great self esteem and can have the courage to do so. Otherwise, he is being a tool and toying you along and I doubt it will stop until you show him the door. | |
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| Guys - tell me what this behavior means
Posted: 6/12/2008 5:07:11 AM | It means he's using you for your basement and / or sex. He only claims to want more so he'll have his needs met. He could care less for your needs.
Change the locks and be done with this guy.
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Edited to add: Man I hate that! The OP is from January, I'm sure the OP could care less about this thread - Why do people continue on with threads like this? Sigh, all that vinegar gone to waste ;)
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