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| Tall Men VS Chunky Women
Posted: 1/8/2008 12:11:47 AM |
My ex-wife was 6 years my senior and has soured me on the idea of dating an older woman (yes, even a few years). Wow, we have a lot in common... I don't want to date women 6 years older than you either. Or the men for that matter. | |
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| Tall Men VS Chunky Women
Posted: 2/29/2008 10:36:29 AM | | well I can say as a "short" guy only 5'7 that it totally blows when you see a person you want to talk to and there profile says they want a guy 6ft+ but hey at least it saves me some time lol | |
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| Tall Men VS Chunky Women
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:08:17 AM | Everyone has a preference. and i'm cool with that.
But when they rip on someone just because they don't fit that preference, not cool.
/Your mileage may vary. | |
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| Tall Men VS Chunky Women
Posted: 2/29/2008 5:57:21 PM | When someone feels the need to rip on someone else for whatever reason, I consider the source... it means they don't feel that good about themselves and need to criticize other to feel good.
That a gift. It means I don't need to waste my time with them. I think it is very nice of people to wave those red flags before I am involved. | |
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| Tall Men VS Chunky Women
Posted: 2/29/2008 11:52:29 PM | 'Why is it "OK" for a man to voice his opinion on his preference of a womans body weight but when a woman voices her opinion on a man's height she gets all kinds of negative comments?'
Because you can put the fork down, exercise and lose weight while you are born with the genetics that make you the height you are and nothing on gods green earth will change it. | |
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| Tall Men VS Chunky Women
Posted: 3/1/2008 2:22:31 AM | At one time, black people were considered to not be human. Things in culture develop and change.
A lifetime of calorie counting and exercising, led me to some conclusions. When I completely gave up working at it at all, I lost weight. What if weight was more due to genetics than to self discipline and a perception of laziness? What if consistent dieting was in some way causing a certain amount of weight gain? What if a trillion dollar industry, (do not fool yourself, this is exactly what it is), was making money from something that is genetic... playing on perceptions, insecurity and fear, rather than actual science?
What if weight was more due to genetics, rather than to self discipline and your perception of laziness?
When your working out and dieting, consumes your life, yet you still are not thin, it's probably genetic, and there is not a lot you can do about it. Just because someone has genetics working against them... of either gender and they are heavier than average does not mean they can diet and keep the weight off. A reasonable level of exercise is important for your overall health, no matter what your weight is. So is eating well balanced, nutritious meals. But if keeping yourself thin is your life's work... or requires dramatic and risky surgery, that results in you having diarrhea for the rest of your life... I am thinking you are missing out on life in general.
There is a really great article in the New York Times about this study from last May:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/08/health/08fat.html?_r=1&8dpc=&pagewanted=all&oref=slogin | |
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| Tall Men VS Chunky Women
Posted: 3/1/2008 3:26:11 AM | not everyone can just "put the fork down, exercise and lose weight" some are like with tall people... made that way, genetics can also make u fat just like it can make u tall, short, blue eyed or cat eyed.
simple answer is, some guys are just a$$holes and so are some women, always be the better person and if u receive something like that, just delete and go on with ur day, those that need to spend their times searching out profiles to make comments on have nothing better to do with their time and simply aren't worth the effort either.
people have a right to state what they want on their profile as well as other's have the right to comment on it as well... | |
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| Tall Men VS Chunky Women
Posted: 3/1/2008 8:30:59 AM |
Because you can put the fork down, exercise and lose weight while you are born with the genetics that make you the height you are and nothing on gods green earth will change it.
Let me share a secret with you, quite often it's not the fact that a man is short that is preventing women from wanting to get to know him, it's the whining and the complaining that we shouldn't hold it against him because he is short. And, your premise that it is okay to bash a woman because she "can put the fork down, exercise, and lose weight" is not only judgemental and it shows you to be a mean and petty person, and NOT someone I would ever give the time of day to. | |
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| Tall Men VS Chunky Women
Posted: 3/1/2008 8:33:06 AM | I think we should give the fork to SSG.
'Betcha she could make a great shank out of it !!  | |
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| Tall Men VS Chunky Women
Posted: 3/1/2008 9:49:26 AM | About 7-8 years ago I decided to lose weight. And I did, I lost 60 pounds... it was a lot of work. After about 45 pounds I joined a gym and spent lots of time at the gym. 2-3 hours every night at the gym. I was obsessed with weight loss. But it didn't matter how much weight I lost... when I looked in the mirror I didn't see the size 10 looking back, I saw the fat woman looking back.
My life was consumed with losing weight, every waking moment I thought about food and what I could I could and couldn't eat. I spent lots of time mentally planning my meals. I'd walk every morning before work and then spend hours at the gym in the evening.
You can't live life that way...
And then my gym partner bailed, not a big deal I've been going there a year I can go by myself. And then some things happened in life that had to be dealt with immediately. Then I transferred for my job and the weight slowly started going back up.
I am exactly where I was when I started losing weight 8 years ago. I'd like to lose weight... but it has to be for me. When I'm ready to do it... I will. But I will NOT become consumed by it again.
When I get mail from stupid men who say things like "dog in road" because of one of my pictures it infuriates me. How dare you insult someone you don't know because of some extra pounds on their body.
I have a preference on height with the men I date... I want them to be taller than myself. But then I'm only 5' 2" not hard to accomplish.
Everyone has a preference on what they want the person they go out with to look like. We all do. I wouldn't bash someone who didn't want to be with me because of my weight, that's their preference. I have my own preferences that would offend some people. But there just that... my preferences. | |
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| Tall Men VS Chunky Women
Posted: 3/1/2008 11:24:14 AM |
Because you can put the fork down, exercise and lose weight while you are born with the genetics that make you the height you are and nothing on gods green earth will change it.
Cleanup in aisle 3, angry short man spillage! | |
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| Tall Men VS Chunky Women
Posted: 3/1/2008 12:11:40 PM | I always wanted the Tall men....Being 5'9" myself. But with age comes wisdom.... Alot of nice things come in smaller packages and boy do they aim to please!
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| Tall Men VS Chunky Women
Posted: 3/1/2008 12:28:59 PM | My preference is for men taller than I am in heels, since when I go out, it's 4" stilettos. I like to wear them, I don't have any desire to look taller... I just love those damn shoes. This being said, I am happy to meet and/or date men shorter, if they are buttheads.
A big part of my reason for the preference, is that I have found is that a lot of short men have a really spiky attitude, whereas big guys are more laid back.
My oldest son (22) is 5'6" and the others are over 6'. I made sure he did not get the attitude and have never allowed his brothers to tease him. Oddly, he is a really nice, really grounded young man, and has had no trouble finding and keeping a girlfriend. He has had the same one for two years now, and she is 1" taller in flats and neither of them seems to have a problem with it. In fact, they are devoted to each other, despite the fact they live 1 1/2 hour apart, both work and go to school full time. I have never heard him once complain that he was shorted 9pun intended) in the height department, whereas his father has complained about it a lot. More men seem to have a problem with it, than the women I know. | |
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| Tall Men VS Chunky Women
Posted: 3/1/2008 12:40:57 PM | Mominatrix,
I ask this question with full respect
A big part of my reason for the preference, is that I have found is that a lot of short men have a really spiky attitude,
So these guys represents me? I have no problem with my height, but I'm getting painting whole brush thing. | |
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| Tall Men VS Chunky Women
Posted: 3/1/2008 2:18:03 PM | I'm totally happy with my height, no short guy syndrome/Napoleon complex etc etc. I've dated women of all heights/shapes and ethnicities and sizes BUT one thing I CANNOT do is MAKE myself taller. No biggie if you pardon the pun.
Don't throw me in the box as being bitter, I'm not and couldn't care less if decide to pass me over due to my height. I'm not everyones cup of tea and no single woman is everyones 'perfect' woman. The OP started off with height/weight. I could be as big as a house, I could eat all day and refuse to exercise. Why is it wrong and why do you take it so personally that I say that weight gain/loss for MOST people is a CHOICE.
Yes, some people DO have medical reasons for being larger, it may also be genetics....but walk down any street or go into any mall and ask yourself if all these people have genetics or medical conditions. The answer is not as grey as you try to make it, some people are lazy and don't take care of their health/appearance etc.
I'm no Charles Atlas/Arnold(in his prime ;-) but I'm not the size of a couch either...why? BECAUSE I MAKE THE EFFORT! I could sit on my ass each night and pound bars of chocolate like they are made of air but I CHOOSE not to.
Get off the personal comments and be objective. | |
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| Tall Men VS Chunky Women
Posted: 3/1/2008 2:55:59 PM | ^^^ You may be fine with your height and good for you if you are. I would not presume to judge you for how tall you are. While I would not be opposed to dating someone who is of a shorter stature,I would not be interested in dating you because your post smacks of insensitivity and cruelty which is not attractive to me.
I'm sorry if you find that this is personally insulting to you, I am suggesting that you not personally attack others, merely pass them up as potential dates if they are not what you are looking for. | |
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| Tall Men VS Chunky Women
Posted: 3/1/2008 3:26:44 PM | 'Because you can put the fork down, exercise and lose weight while you are born with the genetics that make you the height you are and nothing on gods green earth will change it.'
This was my original post on this subject, the 'you' is a collective and not specific to the OP, I didn't read her profile and have no idea of whether she has weight issues or not. Not that you would know I didn't check but the poster asked a question and based on the QUESTION alone I made the above comment. You have yet to throw your side on the height issue nearly as much so perhaps you have a bias?
...'judgemental and it shows you to be a mean and petty person'...your words! well, who is the kettle and the pot here? Please re-read what I wrote and base it on that. If you notice I am NOT gender specific about weight, it is a HUMAN issue. Men AND women are overweight by a greater degree than ever before, you know that I'm not making that up. All my friends freely admit that they could lose a few Lbs-both men and women, its just a matter of doing SOMETHING about it. | |
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| Tall Men VS Chunky Women
Posted: 3/1/2008 3:36:15 PM | ^^Thread title is "Tall men vs Chunky women" so I assumed you were speaking of women, not men when you are making your comments. Assumptions can get us in trouble, I apologize if I misread your meaning.
I've dated men of short stature, and as I did say, that is not a issue for me. I have preferences, sure, we all do, I prefer that a man is taller than me, but being 5' 4" I have lots of choices. Even then, I've dated men my height, and really that was not an issue for me either. If a man is comfortable with himself that really is all that matters. I'm fine with a man shorter in stature, taller in personality. | |
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| Tall Men VS Chunky Women
Posted: 3/1/2008 4:00:43 PM | [^^^^ I want hair like yours!  ]
LOL thnx alibabble...
to the short dude with the comb-over... have a  and chill out... if u dont want ppl to make comments about ur comments then word ur comments differently... dont make urself sound like a self-centered a$$wipe... the OP was asking why is tht men get offended and abusive if a woman states she wants a certain height minimum and guys can freely say they want a toothpick... | |
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| Tall Men VS Chunky Women
Posted: 3/1/2008 4:05:03 PM | | I apologize for not making myself clear...sometimes my mind jumps two or three steps ahead and my fingers are still reaching for the keyboard! ;-) | |
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| Tall Men VS Chunky Women
Posted: 3/1/2008 4:07:33 PM | evil_kitty
Please read the prior to last post I made. Thanks for the nice comments too, you are a real sweetie.
BTW Do men really get away with anything said/preference about a woman's weight? Read this thread for answers that may astound you. As other folk have mentioned anyone is free to make their own preferences known and for that we can be thankful...so we can avoid them. A prior poster wiser than I said that and I'm not going to argue on something that is so plainly the truth. | |
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| Tall Men VS Chunky Women
Posted: 3/1/2008 4:34:38 PM | There is a difference between having a preference and being an a55hole about it.
You sir, are being an a55hole about it. | |
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| What's Your Fried Egg?
Posted: 3/1/2008 4:34:55 PM | A big part of my reason for the preference, is that I have found is that a lot of short men have a really spiky attitude, whereas big guys are more laid back.
Oh not THAT again.
My oldest son (22) is 5'6" and the others are over 6'. I made sure he did not get the attitude and have never allowed his brothers to tease him. Oddly, he is a really nice, More men seem to have a problem with it, than the women I know.
Oddly he is really nice? I know lots of nice short men. I don't see any relation at all between being short and tall and being nice. Most short men I know are happy and have a girlfriend/spouse who are also short, but not necessarily shorter than them, but around their height. Although I live and work in a mainly Latin and Asian community, where most are not tall. I remember growing up and having the issue of my height being brought up by other people, men and women, they seemed really bothered by the fact I am short. The comments didn't bother me except when I started to hear them repeatedly. Along with people spouting off how short men have Napoleonic complexes etc. I'm not saying there aren't any short men who have Napoleonic complexes but along with them are tall men who are pushy because they use their height to intimidate people, but is this the norm? Are most tall people pushy, are most short people angry? I don't think so. But then again I'm not a woman pushing short men away. I would suppose many men of all sizes don't respond to rejection well, so if a man were repeatedly shot down for the same reason I guess in those situations he would get an attitude; as well as women who are shot down for their weight. But I don't see short men as being less courteous or having bad attitudes among the men I interact with at work, or socially etc.
They did this study where they tested ideas like one the above, and asked questions such as "are redheads more hot tempered than others? And the responders said 'yes'. Then they asked them to think of the redheads they knew personally and if they were more hot tempered than others, they answered 'no'. They asked a series of questions like that, societal beliefs held about others, and most responded with a 'yes it was true', but when they were asked to think of the question in terms of specific people they knew most said the societal beliefs were inaccurate. They found most people held on to societal beliefs and images about others even if their personal experience differed. Not to negate your experience, if this is what you've gone through then so be it.
Yes, some people DO have medical reasons for being larger, it may also be genetics....but walk down any street or go into any mall and ask yourself if all these people have genetics or medical conditions. The answer is not as grey as you try to make it, some people are lazy and don't take care of their health/appearance etc.
True that we have control over our weight. Eat less, exercise more, and you'll be thinner, BUT will you be thin? If nobody overate, if everybody ate healthy and exercised, would everybody be slim with the exact bmi? We've all known people who can eat a lot of food and not gain weight, they are thin; why wouldn't the reverse be true?
I'm no Charles Atlas/Arnold(in his prime ;-) but I'm not the size of a couch either...why? BECAUSE I MAKE THE EFFORT! I could sit on my ass each night and pound bars of chocolate like they are made of air but I CHOOSE not to.
I'm the size of a couch and I don't sit on my ass each night and eat chocolate bars like they are made out of air. This is another myth, that because someone is fat they eat these obscene amounts of food. Again, we all know people who just shove the food in with little control and are huge because of it. But one can gain weight over time and in the end it's a matter of it all adding up. From what I've heard on TV from medical doctors such as Dr. Oz most Americans are fat due to eating as little as 100 more calories a day. Do you know how small something is with a hundred calories? I've also heard that if you add a glass of wine a day to your diet without taking anything out, you will gain ten lbs in a year. I hear comments about my weight all the time such as "oh I bet you've had a few Big Macs in your time", actually no. I tend to eat a single patty hamburger, no fries, diet coke. I eat a good amount of food, but I don't eat massive amounts of food, double patties, chili cheese fries on the side etc. How many calories do I eat? I don't know but when eating with others I eat the same or less as most non-overweight people. But anything extra adds up over time and activity is important. Although I am far from lazy in my daily duties, regular exercise is really helpful.
Even if someone is shoving food in their mouth to the point that they're obese, why is this any different from the other million and one ways human beings hurt themselves and their lives? Because they wear it on the outside? Because of all the sins an American can commit not being societally beautiful is the worst one? What about crimes against people? I would say in American society the amount of theft which goes on is disgustingly common. And yet there are probably more negative attitudes and feelings expressed towards fat people in a day than there are against thieves or anybody else in society who chooses to hurt us.
What's your fried egg?
from a Bette Midler Concert:
I was walking down 42nd street one day,
I wasn't workin' 42nd street I was walkin
42nd street. And this amazing thing
happened to me. It was July it was about
89 degrees. It was hot, hot for New York
You know and I was walking east and this
humongous person was coming west. And she
had this big blue house dress on peppered
all over with little white daisies. She was
almost bald but sitting on top of her head,
forehead, you know on her forehead was this
fried egg. Which I thought was really unusual.
Because in New York City the ladies with the
fried eggs on their heads don't generally come
out until September or October you know. Here
was this lady this demented lady with a little
fried egg on her head in the middle of July.
God what a sight and ever, ever since I saw that
lady not one day goes by that I don't think of
her and I say to myself "Oh God, don't let me
wake up tomorrow and want to put a fried egg on
my head. Oh God. "Then I say real fast I say "Oh
God, if by chance I should wind up with a fried
egg on my head"; cause sometimes you can't help those
things, you know, you can't. I say to myself "don't
let anybody notice." And then I say real fast after
that "if they do notice that I'm carrying something
that, that's not quite right and they want to talk
about it, let 'em talk about it but don't let 'em
talk so I can hear I don't want to hear it." Cause
the truth about fried eggs, you can call it a fried
egg, you can call it anything you like, but everybody
gets one, some people wear 'em on the outside, some
people they wear 'em on the inside.
To answer the OP
I don't find it true at all that men get away with expressing weight preferences, nor age preferences for that matter.
The women rule the forums, at least the California one. I do find a huge amount of hypocrisy here in what a man is "allowed" to express and what a woman can. Not from every woman, of course, but a good amount. Nearly everyday I see men chastised for expressing something that if he were a woman would pass with no comment. It's often expressed, as it has been in this thread, that everybody is entitled to their preferences. But I regularly see men shot down for their preferences, not for the way they've expressed those preferences, but just because they have them. I came across this thread, maybe in another forum, in which a woman was debating whether or not she should date a much younger man. Men and women were all supportive, uttering the usual "age is just a number" axiom. But I've read many comments here from women harshly putting down men for preferring much younger women. Again, not because the way it was expressed, for often it wasn't expressed at all by a man but came from answering one of the many OP forum questions. On the other hand, women all the time have expressed how some jerk has trashed them in a private email for their choices. So life's a b!tch, what can you do? | |
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| What's Your Fried Egg?
Posted: 3/1/2008 4:39:47 PM | 'The women rule the forums, at least the California one. I do find a huge amount of hypocrisy here in what a man is "allowed" to express and what a woman can. Not from every woman, of course, but a good amount. Nearly everyday I see men chastised for expressing something that if he were a woman would pass with no comment. It's often expressed, as it has been in this thread, that everybody is entitled to their preferences. But I regularly see men shot down for their preferences, not for the way they've expressed those preferences, but just because they have them. I came across this thread, maybe in another forum, in which a woman was debating whether or not she should date a much younger man. Men and women were all supportive, uttering the usual "age is just a number" axiom. But I've read many comments here from women harshly putting down men for preferring much younger women. Again, not because the way it was expressed, for often it wasn't expressed at all by a man but came from answering one of the many OP forum questions. On the other hand, women all the time have expressed how some jerk has trashed them in a private email for their choices. So life's a b!tch, what can you do?'
Couldn't have said it better! I wonder though if there is something wrong with my keyboard that translates differently to the screens of certain female posters ...or perhaps they have some MASSIVE chip on their shoulders they can't quite get rid of. | |
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