| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/6/2008 7:38:54 PM | | get to know the person on the phone with a two or three or four conversations first....too many control freaks out there | |
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| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/6/2008 7:47:27 PM | | That is a frightening story. Hope all goes well for you. | |
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| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/6/2008 7:49:50 PM | Ok... That was enough to totally convince me to delete my profile. I am new at this and have dealt with a stalker for 16 years and am not willing to take that chance.
I am so happy that things did not get worse for you... Take care of yourself and be safe. | |
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| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/6/2008 7:53:00 PM | Wow, that's a major problem.
Sorry you ran into one of the Nuts, of which there are many.
I'm glad for my dog... and a tiny community of people who know who lives here
and where strangers coming around would be instantly noticed! | |
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| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/6/2008 7:54:04 PM | Thank you Gerry,
I did indeed get to know the person before we actually met. I hem-hawed about three weeks actually and did not pick up any red flags from this person...he seemed quite normal actually..and maintained even through the first meet.He even maintained that distant communication afterwards, as if he was holding out for his safety...that is what makes this all so weird and SO unusual. I just thank my lucky stars for having the back-up.
I aopreciate your concern. | |
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| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/6/2008 8:03:04 PM | Kitty hun I am so glad you are okay.
I went through somthing very close to this about 2 years ago.
I had to get a no contact/restraing order against a man I had only went out with once. He did the following me home thing too.
I had to move and change my phone numbers. Even bought a different car.
It makes you feel very violated and hunted like an animal.
It's very stressful and I would suggest you talk to someone about your feelings, even just a close friend.
At the very least a couple of massages at the local spa to relieve the stress from your body would help.
Take Care
Deb | |
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| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/6/2008 8:13:10 PM | Holy crap batman-- I have this married friend who has been out of the dating scene for about 10 years. She keeps telling me that she does not approve of meeting men online and i keep telling her it's very safe--ya just meet them first in a public place etc.. NOt a darn thing bad is gonna happen and this is how it's done in 2007. I hear this very frequently from her and so now i quess i will be a little more careful about this whole meeting people online thing. Yikes !!!! is all i can say. | |
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| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/6/2008 8:17:45 PM | If you met him here..I would suggest reporting him to the Admin... with your police report number and your restraining order number. They might not be able to do anything in a legal sense but at least it would be documented.
PLEASE be careful
Get a small notebook also and WRITE everything down.. from the incident until you no longer think he is a threat
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| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/6/2008 8:47:32 PM | Already been done..but we cannot control the content here.
One small part of making this site safe. | |
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| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/6/2008 11:03:04 PM | Yep, this happens both online and off.
As I always say online is just an intensification of the off line world.
There are plenty of nutty people both male and female. I had one would would stand in front of my apartment complex and stand there night and day. Everytime I called the cops she would split. It didn't end until a friend of mine who was a cop caught her trying to carve my name into my car with a butcher knife that they had some evidence, along with her past history to lock her up. They actually per her in the hospital cause she tried to kill herself many times before but tried it in front of the cop when she was caught.
There are crazy people out there. | |
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| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/6/2008 11:14:38 PM | | That's really scary! I'm glad you're ok! | |
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| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/6/2008 11:28:08 PM | | creepy stuff but it could happen anywhere really. the guy next to you at the bar or the person behind you in line at the store. shit happens, carry a gun or a taser and definately get a large dog. | |
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| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/6/2008 11:35:41 PM | Here's an idea... And if the guy really likes you, he'll go for it.
Someone I had met in the past was nervous about meeting someone online because they had never done it before. So I sent her a scanned copy of my drivers license. Then she could send that to a friend or whatever on the off chance she never returns.
In Texas there is no SSN number on the license so I don't know what they could do with the info anyway other than use it to report you to the police.
Here's another tip. It's a lot easier to locate people than you think. If I have a last name, many counties allow you do to online property searches by last name for free. Or you could go to publicdata.com and find out where someone lives. So hold out on giving out that last name until you are sure about the guy. | |
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| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/6/2008 11:47:01 PM | I'm not too 100% sure about this story quite yet.....
.... so the guy heard you say "call the cops", and then I suppose he just happily waited for the cops to turn up and 'haul him away' or something?? Don't think so..... sounds like a very considerate and cooperative stalker to me.
Now no doubt anyone watching another like that out of romantic interest is a kook. But, just a thought, is it illegal to have someone under surveillance? Don't private investigators do that for a living, legally? Just for different reasons? I'm curious. So if you confronted him and told him to stop watching you, and supposing he agreed to get lost, why would the cops haul him away? If he persisted after you said stop, ok there's an established pattern of intimidating behaviour. If its that easy to get hauled away based on any woman's say-so, I wonder if this situation has ever been abused by women? Makes a person think about if anyone is safe as they suppose in this 'sea of luv'. There's kooks male and female, after all.
Now I am sure this stuff happens lots folks, I just had a few points to bring up, thats all. | |
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Posted: 1/7/2008 1:13:37 AM |
.... so the guy heard you say "call the cops", and then I suppose he just happily waited for the cops to turn up and 'haul him away' or something?? I was wondering about this too. She didn't say that he overheard, but it is hard to see how he wouldn't have -- unless she invited him in. I think perhaps there is a bit missing from the story.
Scary stuff happens. Women get grabbed in public places in broad daylight. People being around doesn't mean the people are going to help, unless it's that kind of community: people are capable of ignoring screams and just walking on by. If you think about it too much you'd get too terrified to ever go out alone, let alone to meet up with a strange man who has decided he likes your photo.
You could also get into a horrific accident travelling to your date, or going shopping. or going to work. It makes sense to take precautions but you can't actually protect yourself completely. | |
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| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/7/2008 3:35:14 AM | Yes skyblu, you missed that portion because I tried to keep the post brief and to the point. He told me that I was "his girl" and did not believe that my neighbor would call for me....she went back into her apartment to call as I was in the hall talking to him. Not an iminent threat apparently as he did not leave. I thought that would be the cue to get him out of my face...but it did not work...so I asked him more questions about how he watched me this afternoon. He was more than willing to share those with me and was all too willing to talk about his accomplishment in being able to trail me.
Apparently two cards shy of a deck as he was more willing to talk about how he followed me and did not recognize the fact that I was calling authorities. | |
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Posted: 1/7/2008 4:15:24 AM | What a nutter!
I guess in hindsight thank god he saw no wrong in what he had done and decided to tell you all about it. He could have easily made up some lie.
I find it wierd though..I had a stalker once..he used to be a friend but he wanted a relationship with me...seriously full on and heavy.. I wasn't interested so cut contact. Follwoing that he would always tell me that he was outside this place or that place and had seen me through the window..he seemed quite happy to text me and tell me when he was watching me...spooky.
Good luck with it but sorry you had to go through that. | |
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Posted: 1/7/2008 4:46:05 AM | This door swings both ways. I'm a sixty year old guy and I've met some really "strange" ladies recently who are doing some weird stuff. Not get too paranoid, however, let's widen this post to include warnings about pic's with kids in them by tagging this:
IMPORTANT BULLETIN: UNCOOL TO POST WITH YOUR KIDS ON THIS SITE WHERE POTENTIAL PREDATORS LURK. KIDS SHOULD NOT BE USED AS SALES TOOLS TO MARKET YOURSELF. PLEASE PETITION POF TO CHANGE THEIR POLICY ON POSTINGS WITH CHILDREN TO AT LEAST MASK OUT THEIR FACES IF POSTED. FOR WIDER COVERAGE OF THIS MESSAGE, PLEASE COPY & PASTE INTO YOUR OWN PROFILE...THANKS.. .
It only takes one to ruin it for everybody!! | |
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| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/7/2008 5:22:42 AM | | Please do not give too much info to skyblujeep.......... his reaction seem stalky creepy to me...........I know I'll get slammed for this but for him to go so totally out of context with everyone else and almost saying he does not believe the OP makes for a wierd feeling.............. | |
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| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/7/2008 6:22:20 AM | The point to forums is to spark discussion and debate. Whether the story is true or not is immaterial.
I believe the OP, as my first ever online date (from another site) turned into a stalker situation. One steak dinner and the guy thought we were destined to be together for life.... or worse. He didn't know where I lived, but tried to follow me home after our dinner. I made a stop at the police station to file my first report.
Once home, after stopping at a few places to make sure I wasn't being followed, I started receiving hundreds of phone calls on my cell from this guy. Literally hundreds a day until I changed my phone number. Thank goodness for those and the emails he sent, which also went into triple digits daily, as they were used against him in court.
I have an issue with those that say "Make sure you get to know them a little before going out with them...." As if a few phone calls is going to unleash some whacko's demons!
We can take precautions, but sh1t like this happens to the most cautious individuals.
All we can do is follow all rules of personal safety and hope for the best. If you get the occasional mental patient you deal with it and move on.
That first and only situation didn't deter me for too long. A couple months and I got back in the driver's seat again and just made sure I checked my rear view mirror...... | |
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| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/7/2008 8:28:23 AM | As others have stated, it goes both ways for unstable people.
A former co-worker whom I'd been out with a couple times still calls occasionally, and if I don't pick up my cell, she calls the house at all hours of the night. I haven't seen her and we haven't worked together for almost a year and a half. It's been a while now since she's done it, but man...........that was strange.
On another occasion, I met someone for dinner and that was it. For months and months she called and emailed me telling me she thought "We really had something special and she wanted more." It was just dinner, nothing more, and I did nothing to lead her on. I didn't want to be mean, but I finally had to tell her I was a little spooked with her calling all the time and asked her to please stop. Thankfully, she did. | |
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| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/7/2008 9:16:34 AM | Oh that's just creepy ! I'm glad you're okay !
I live in an apartment complex and most of my neighbors are single women and we look out for each other.
It's soooooo important to know each other's schedule and where-a-bouts.
My neighbors and I have a "danger phrase/question" we made up to use if we're ever in trouble and need help. Like...... if there's someone is holding a gun to you, or if they need the police...or somethin' ain't just right...so it's an odd question and we change it sometimes. It used to be "I like what you did to your hair".
I know, I know...it sounds like overkill but ya never know when it'll save a life. We also have a common password.
In this case a neighbor clued in, a guardian angel doin' her job. She was in the right place at the right time.....somebody was lookin' out for you.
Whew ! | |
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| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/7/2008 3:40:12 PM | FIRST FORUM RESPONSE EVER!!!!!
Is this what most women are dealing with today regarding dating? I'm at a loss for words, and feel ashamed of my fellow man. Please dont give up on the good ones kitty. | |
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| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/7/2008 3:59:34 PM | Yikes!!!!
I just recently shook off a stalker-type I meet HERE!!! We only had 2 dates and the guy was an absolute pain in the A**!! Wanted to know what I was doing every 30 minutes w/ text messages and phone calls, good grief! Called me a C**T, W***E, S**T when I told him I didnt think we should see each other again becasue I felt he was controlling and obssesive and he would smother me. No wonder he's still single HAHAHAAA!
Friends say I should stop using online dating (had a few bad experiences the past few months)...but your story proves that face-to-face can be just as risky! | |
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| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/7/2008 4:04:44 PM | | let me add...I know women as well as men do the obssesive/stalker type stuff as well. | |
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