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Posted: 1/9/2008 10:26:24 AM | | Something else that would save time should anything ever happen is someone knowing your password (or where to find them) so it is easier to get into an account like pof and see who you have been talking to. It wound up being very handy for me a few months ago when I was very ill and a friend was able to let people I talk to daily know what was going on. | |
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fay98
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Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 77 | |
| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/9/2008 10:40:16 AM | | Thank goodness I don't live in Missouri....Good Luck Kitty! | |
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Posted: 1/9/2008 10:41:49 AM | Well I give you a lot of credit b/c I can think of a million tiimes I have heard this story before and the person being stalked does not do anything about it.
We need more people like you who take matters seriously from the very start and charge the guy...
Good for you...
Creepy experience for you...but in your defense you did nothing wrong...you did everything right all the way from the meeting to pressing charges....
Hope you luck changes....and you find someone who appears at your door invited... | |
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Posted: 1/9/2008 2:55:52 PM | What is scary about the incident is that you obviously opened the door and was within arms length of such a nut. I don't open the door if I don't know you.
Being stalked is terrifying and it's why I pack heat now (at home) and am aware of my surroundings.
I'm glad you are safe. | |
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Posted: 1/9/2008 3:12:29 PM | are you sure you haven't been reading too many horror stories before bedtime?
i am so very sorry if that is true, but seriously i find that hard to believe. | |
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Posted: 1/9/2008 5:58:21 PM | This post is something that everyone should read before considering going on a date with someone.
I came across a post tonight which suggested that married and taken people and those looking to hang out or friendship should be banned from POF. What a totally inane posting taken in comparison to content of the post I have just read.
It is something I have already come across and actually think it would be a good idea if there was a way of making it possible. Rather than banning someone because of their personal relationship status surely it should be that there are individuals, such as the one this woman had the misfortune to come into contact with that should be banned.
I imagine it would be almost impossible to do because there would be nothing to stop them from reregistering with a different profile and doing exactly the same as they had done before.
However, there is something to be said about there being somewhere someone could be reported to because of their conduct that could then be monitored and to be fair it would not be reasonable to ban someone on just one persons say so but if it were the case that several people made the same comments that actions could be taken and even if at that time it is something that prevents just one person falling foul of this individual it would be worth it. What's more, the fact that there are many other dating sites and that they could even re-register on the same site again, the chances are that person would no doubt only behave in exactly the same way as they had before and if reported in much the same manner as before they would end up getting banned once again.
The question in my mind right now is whether this man has been reported for his actions if this is where he met this woman? It is really frightening to think that even though a restraining order could be put in place against this man having any contact with this woman, there is nothing to stop him from doing what he did to someone else on here!!! | |
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| Oh....My....Gawd!
Posted: 1/9/2008 6:35:06 PM | Message #80
are you sure you haven't been reading too many horror stories before bedtime?
i am so very sorry if that is true, but seriously i find that hard to believe.
It happens all too often and be glad you find it hard to believe. That means you haven't been one to deal with this kind of insanity.....
YET.
No one of us is immune to it. And no matter how careful you are, some illnesses aren't clear to the naked eye.
Ted Bundy comes to mind....... Charming, handsome, educated.... a real "catch". | |
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Posted: 1/9/2008 7:49:07 PM | I have a very attractive 40 y/o female freind (Dana) that I've known for over 6 years . I was her rock through a messy divorce to a cheating control freak she was married to for 10 years and two kids. It was the hardest thing for her to finally get back on that horse and begin dating. What she ran into out there in the dating scence was plain ridiculous and she became disgusted with "todays scene" after only a few short months, so she gave it up for a while. One day a co-worker of hers invited her over for her daughters baby shower and she attended with a nice gift. Oddly, her 26 year old son was also present with the ladies during the shower. Dana had no exchange with him other than a single "hello" the entire afternoon. She was conservatively dressed in a knee length skirt and a nice sweater. She did note that he did "gaze"directly at her and made a few "suggestive glances" in her direction which she ignored. Dana is an attorney, this kid is just a punk . She parted that afternoon without incident. A week later, she began noticing a Saturn with "flames" painted on the hood parked across the street from her house late at night. When she left for work in the early AM, sometimes it would still be parked there. She soon recognized this kid from the babyshower. She came home one day and in her mailbox (no postage) found a hand written 4 page "love letter" from him detailing explicitely what he wanted to do with her. Alarmed, she called me for advice. I had her call the Police to get it on record and headed over. He was STILL parked there when I arrived. The Police arrived and had him out of his car questioning him. He claimed that he was "waiting for a friend". I informed him that he will be dealt with severly if we catch him back. He scoffed and laughed. I wanted to put him down right there! The Police at that point could NOTt charge him with anything and left him with a warning. End of story right? Not quite...he came right back a week later and would sporadically circle her block and of course the Police did not catch him (this went on for another month), nor could they be bothered staking out her house, so I handled this task myself. All the while, Dana showed her co-worker (his mother) the letter he had written her to which she replied...what can I say, the boy has a healthy libido and you are an attractive lady...I can't blame him! Dana warned this co-worker repeatedly that he was in danger of prosecution, or worse if "certain people" got a hold of him. She sneered and replied "whatever". It didnt take too long to catch him parked down the street at midnight again. Lets just say that the situation was handled in a most unorthodox way by unidentifiable parties in a most physical manner. He was left without his faculties, which was how he was found when the Police arrived... "a tad roughed up" in his car and charged him under local anti- stalking ordinance. He never returned after a month in the pokey. Dana actually felt safer selling her house and moved into another county before her mind was at ease. It is a a dangerous world out there ladies and gents. I strongly suggest that it is NOT unreasonable to acquire proper weapons training and arm yourselves. Sadly in todays world, for some it may be an acceptable reality. If you dont feel comfortable with a firearm, at LEAST invest in mace, pepper spray or some other nerve agent. And before any of you dare get on my case regarding firearms, save the argument. I am Ex-Special Forces Military and you will convince me on NOTHING. I am nearly stating a position that you MAY or MAY NOT consider. The Local Police and laws on the books do NOT do NEARLY enough to protect victims in these situations. and please recall, Dana herself is an ATTORNEY! I'm also not advocating having your aquaintances track these nuts down and beat them to a pulp either. Each nut job is case specific and proper judgement must be exercised. In this ever increasing litigous society, cover your bases well. I am sorry that Bucsgirl had to deal with this, but it is becoming more common. I am pleased that you were not harmed and applaud your prowess in handling this particular situation. Do not let this obscure your opinion on dating online, but do NOT ever let your guard down now and WATCH YOUR REAR VIEW MIRRORS ! Take care all :)
Randy in Ohio | |
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Posted: 1/9/2008 8:12:05 PM | That's horrible.....Now I understand why people keep warning me about this whole dating process. You've really opened my eyes about being more careful. I do keep profile copies but how much good are they to you if you had been harmed or worse?
One point though...in this day and age, if you even exchange last names or home phone numbers, your address is easily attainable though many online sites or reverse directories.... Makes me happy my neighbors look out for me too. Glad you're okay. | |
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Posted: 1/9/2008 8:35:03 PM | Thanks Randy MSG 69, for the story.
I find it rather amazing how many women have posted to say no way, you must be joking...
In another post, an woman stated her concern of a POSSIBLE stalker, when he moved from his state, to her city, where he didn't know ANYONE; he said he got a job there.
The girl had only met him once, and decided he wasn't for her.
A large majority of the posts were negative to this gal, and they told her to get over herself...
ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? A man moves to your city after meeting you, and says he wants you to show him around, and the girl shouldn't feel alarmed???
Then again this comes from a society that loves to blame victims of rape.
What is even sadder though are the women still thinking this is a joke posting... Wake up ladies.... | |
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Posted: 1/10/2008 10:05:27 AM | The mind boggles it really does!!!
There is nothing at all funny about this posting or the one about the stalker and I am amazed that people find it unbelievable or think it is a joke.
A possible stalker? Not only a definite stalker but also one with some serious mental issues. Alarmed? It would be absolutely terrifying!
What is it in this posting that can be considered to be a joke? Because what man would move to another state after meeting a girl once? There are people that will move anywhere to be near someone they have a fixation on and without ever having talked to them let alone met them. | |
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Posted: 1/10/2008 10:13:41 PM | Wow all these stalkers are really making it hard for us charming wonderful men to actually find friends to hang out with. I set my profile to "friends" or "hang out" not because I'm some delusional psycho but its that I've often been told I'm one of those people who often keep to myself, and after you get to know me then you realize that I'm just big fun loving goofball, and you may find somethimg meaningful with me.
Now that is a very scary story. Sounds like good self defense course would be necessary in this case. What a nut job. Happy you're safe, and wack job is now spending time where he should stay.
Well hopefully better things will happen to you since this horrible experience. Stay safe, & heres to much better experiences in the future.  | |
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Posted: 1/10/2008 10:23:45 PM | | Wow, that is crazy! Thank God that your neighbor is nosey. Who knows what could have happened. I definately would have been freaked out. | |
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Posted: 1/10/2008 10:24:12 PM | Yep... I can relate...
I ran into a girl while living in the UK that turned out to be a real whack job. Went out on a couple dates, and she was ready to pick out dinner plate patterns.
Got so bad after the second date, she'd follow me around town, cause scenes in public places, and literally hang off me, trying to keep me from walking away. In the end, she broke into my house in the middle of the night to "talk about the relationship"... I called the police.
I'm 6'1", 240lbs, a pretty big guy, and I was actually scared of this B.
I'm just trying to say, in a roundabout way, that we're (us guys) aren't all nutbars and crazies, and don't let the bad apples affect your optimism and hope in meeting someone right....
All the best! | |
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Posted: 1/10/2008 10:35:26 PM | Naeceo in msg 12:
What difference does it make how long she knew him? She DIDN'T invite him to her house, he secretly followed her.....you don't really think a guy like that would be forthcoming the longer she waited to meet him do ya?
OP: Wow, so glad you're OK! | |
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Posted: 1/10/2008 10:56:57 PM | | OP: Glad to hear you are ok. I've read most to the posts on this thread and this has really opened my eyes to the on-line dating now. Several of my friends including my family that know that I have my profile on a dating site are very concerned about this. | |
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Posted: 1/11/2008 1:34:59 AM | Ya should have pushed him off the banister and kicked him till he quit breathing... now it will be your fault the next time he does that or worse to someone else.
geesh... | |
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Posted: 1/11/2008 1:47:36 AM | | I would say that is very scary . make you wonder about online dating.I know there is alot of good people on here but you have to remember this an easy way in for stalkers and nuts.everyone needs to becareful male or female. I am just glad to see you got it stopped before things went to far.best of luck and be safe | |
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Posted: 1/11/2008 2:05:28 AM | I will track this post as I am presently being stalked by a policeman. This officer has come to my door twice, once at 4:30 a.m. and again at 10:45 p.m. stating that "they" are looking for the former tenant. He demanded that I open my door so he could see who he was talking to. I have a combination door along with a wood door. The next morning I immediately began asking my neighbors about this tenant. Was told he had a mental illness and had a couple of "rowdy" females living on and off with him. I dismissed this incident.
Three weeks later, at approximately 10: 45 p.m., I was sleep when awakened by a knock on the door with a different officer outside of my door. I opened the wood door so I could identify the male. He had a skull cap on with a leather police bomber jacket on. He had no name badge on his jacket. I listened quite closely to what he was saying. Called the police station and demanded to speak with a supervisor. Was told to call them when and if they return. This all has been within the past two months and I cannot give much more info as this is still "pending"...Now, this scenario IS A LITTLE NERVE RACKING BECAUSE IN THIS CASE I CANNOT JUST SHOOT, KARATE CHOP, NOR ORDER THE "BEAT-DOWN KICK-ASS" END ALL FINALITY that would put this to rest.
I want to write this because there are two ways of looking at psychos: Are they stalking you or are they harrassing you? The Police and the Courts are the ones who get to "Name That Tune."
In addition to this, I will add that women are just as guilty as men when looking at this scenario. It doesn't matter where or how you meet someone that determines their psychotic state. The internet is just one avenue to meeting someone. If a person is a stalker or harrasser, he/she is going to do just that. There are dangerous people everywhere - you just have to be on-guard at ALL times. Stalking and harrassment has been going on since the Book of Genesis. But I know for sure one thing: I have never had any run-ins, involvement, or prior conversations with the police! | |
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Posted: 1/11/2008 5:37:58 AM | | yes its a bit scary being single these days you just dont know who/what youre talking to? im working in mental health, and visit ppl in their homes, its opened my eyes into the 'goings on' in society - to an extent where its quite putting me off getting to know anyone? | |
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Posted: 1/11/2008 9:28:01 AM | | No...I remember Fatal Attraction....YIKES!!! | |
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Posted: 1/11/2008 12:44:04 PM | That was my answer to someone on page one who mentioned that it doesn't only happen to women...it also happens to men!!
Glad you are ok OP....and I will definitely be more aware from now on!! | |
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Posted: 1/11/2008 12:55:30 PM | | This is one of the most frightening stories that I have ever read on here. I'm glad that you are ok and it is a good thing that you have a nosy neighbor. I know of a couple of women here who have had to obtain restraining orders against men met here. Be careful everyone. | |
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Posted: 1/11/2008 4:41:30 PM | The problem with online dating is that you can chat for months and talk on the phone.... but you are only being fed information that they hand you... so in essence you don't really know anything about someone no matter how long you drag out the process... and psychotics are able to appear normal... it's also sort of like seeing the same ppl in a bar week after week.... you don't really know them ... you just see them.... you work with people every day.... but you really don't know them either if you have no contact outside of work.... people who are are predators in society walk the same streets as you and I and hold jobs and go to school.... I think of Ted Bundy...
In Missouri you can check a person out on missouri case net and verify court records about people... I have been told there is a free site for Kansas also.... but I'm not above checking someone out first... | |
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