| Sincerity and Honesty on online dating.....
Posted: 1/8/2008 5:11:43 AM | It's frustrating to encounter the 180 with someone.
I know I'm not the only one, so I'm not going to try misdirection on here and blame online dating. Internet girlfriend/boyfriend hunting, want for a better description, has it's pitfalls just like trolling the bars or clubs for your significant other. Let's stay on point; POF isn't a bar or club. You're here online or you initiated your POF account for the same reason so just be honest about that. If you're here NOW for the forums, then that's something else. However, that's not the point here; I throw that out here just for perspective.
Anyway, if I'm feeling that friend vibe with the person--either I don't feel she's attracted to me or vice-a-versa--I won't go further. I'll actually tell the person. Gee, what a concept? Respect and/or honesty!
I won't lead the other person on. I believe in taking my time, but not wasting my time. This may seem like semantics, but it's not.
If someone pulls the disappearing act on me, as OP laments, I'm not going to hunt the person down. If after seemingly giving me the cold shoulder, she suddenly messages me or calls me; yes, I'll ask for an explanation. Life's circumstances can get in the way of dating. Sometimes you can be truly sick or work too late a couple of nights, for instance. If she's aloof, I just let her go her separate way.
However, I'm not going to make someone love me--too depressing. I'm not mad at them because that insecurity of the need to miraculously disappear is on them so if anything I feel I'm getting off light before any real emotional capital is invested.
In fact, I always make it clear when we start talking off POF the very first day. I tell everyone without fail, "Don't go through the motions with me because I hate that. I want people in my life, friendship or otherwise, that actually want to be in my life." | |
|
| Sincerity and Honesty on online dating.....
Posted: 1/8/2008 8:33:35 AM | Honesty ...hehee ...You're having a laugh
Check out the pictures of some of these "average" body types
Check out the pictures of "non smokers" with a cigarette in their hand
Honesty ! .....some people can't even spell it | |
|
| Sincerity and Honesty on online dating.....
Posted: 1/8/2008 10:52:24 AM | I think it's all subjective.
When I had myself down for 'dating' I had an informative and witty profile (cos I am witty ) Described lots of truths about myself and I believe that being this way has lead to me being disillusioned andto some extent, being taken advantage of.
With hindsight, I recognise that some men were wiley enough to use my honesty and openess about emotions et al and I was too naive to notice that they were actually just playing with me. I (stupidly) believe people when they tell me their "truths", find it very difficult to spot liars and cheats (ok, so online dating is probably not the best medium for someone like me LOL)
But, now that I've decided to choose the "friends" option, I can sit back for a while and just take time getting to know people. Doesn't mean I'm going to be dishonest or insincere, just learn to be more cautious about telling people truths and feelings.
Well, that's my 2p worth | |
|
| |
| Sincerity and Honesty on online dating.....
Posted: 1/8/2008 12:23:44 PM |
ista bubba...ever try choosing the dating idea and practicing the friend idea?
What a simple idea, I obviously couldn't see the woods for the trees, D'oh!! Thanks for pointing that out and when I change back to "dating" that's certainly what my plan will be!! | |
|
EyeDye
|
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 31 | |
| |
| Sincerity and Honesty on online dating.....
Posted: 1/9/2008 1:37:52 AM | I myself have always been honest, whether it be on my profile, or messaging/chatting to someone.
If it gets as far as going on a date (rarely lol), I am honest and open when we meet.
But I have also been told I am TOO honest and open.
Seems these days, you can't win either way. Maybe there is a happy medium I have yet to learn.
If one is on here to find whatver it is they are looking for, whether freindship, LTR etc, Isn't it right to expect truth and honesty from the beginning? and not pretend we are something we aren't?
As for profiles, one can only glean so much from it anyway. The only way to find out who anyone really is, is by taking the time to get to know them.
as EyeDye said,
Patience is indeed a virtue, but I have come to realize that it is somewhat lacking when it comes to dating.
(Not very good at posting, so hope you all understand what I mean) | |
|
| Sincerity and Honesty on online dating.....
Posted: 1/9/2008 7:09:57 AM | | I practice the "WYSIWYG" method of profile writing. I even ask people that I meet off sites such as this if I presented myself truthfully and if they don't think so I tweak my profile. As others have said, do people really think that you won't notice if they are radically different IRL? | |
|
| Sincerity and Honesty on online dating.....
Posted: 1/12/2008 10:35:41 AM | Well just for the record ...I have never in my whole life known anyone that is or was 100% honest all of the time ...we all try to be honest but frequently fall short of the mark ...because we are human !
I have been dishonest and will no doubt continue to be dishonest in the future ...just like everyone else here ...we are dishonest when it suits us ....there are no levels of dishonesty, we are honest or we are not ...white lies included
So for me at least ...sincerity is just as important as honesty ! | |
|
| |
| Sincerity and Honesty on online dating.....
Posted: 3/12/2008 7:41:54 AM | A persons actions usually speak volumes about their character,so you usually can figure out pretty quickly who's being sincere and who's not............. | |
|
| Sincerity and Honesty on online dating.....
Posted: 3/12/2008 3:18:29 PM | | Ouch. This is my first time trying this site, and I'm not trying to be something I'm not. Women have these feelings that detect lies. I wish I had that intuition. | |
|
Home
login 
