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| Men are you a Protector or Provider...
Posted: 1/8/2008 4:17:33 AM | re the Opost:
Protector or Provider?
(c) ie neither. I am a lover and an equal partner (and a feminist, so that explains why "neither" of the Ps).
PS. The DJ's "pop philosophy" line is typical of ... pseudosophical nonsense "lines".
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| Men are you a Protector or Provider...
Posted: 1/8/2008 4:17:53 AM | Radio DJs are paticulary good at letting the talk flow without missing a beat so that means nothing.
In the days of the cave man the men did everything outside the cave. Hunting, wars, and most of the gathering too. Mostly because men didn't suffer from either extreme heat or extreme cold the way women did.
The women did all the stuff inside the cave. Cooking, cleaning, medicine (DOCTORS) not just nursing, all relegion, (the high priestess was around long before the priest)
When farming started the women helped in the fields but they still stayed closer to the home. Same practical reason.
In this day and age it's never true. We are all team members, family teams, community teams, and national teams.
We are all specalists interdependent on one another and the idea of protector or provider is passee. | |
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| Men are you a Protector or Provider...
Posted: 1/8/2008 10:03:17 PM |
they can. engineers, even trades people. lots of women enjoy these jobs, and i say more power to them.
I know, but would they of started it, as the men did…when land was big open space ready to be built upon….no….not then
I protect and provide for myself. Women can do the same, and stop complaining about a man if they don't need us so much.
we do need you….maybe we feel ur stepping away from u too much...makes us have to stand up on our own
Unfortunately, with a good percentage of "strong, independent" women, they are anything but. They still gravitate towards those types of men (sometimes with an unhealthy amount of resentment) or engaging in ongoing hyper gamy despite claims of "equality."
what have those men got? over you…nothing to lose?
I'm skeptical of finding my equal simply because it's either what women don't really want, or don't want the responsibilities inherent that comes with it.
is the confusion getting in all our ways in our search for the’one’
I don't think the (radio) mans comments have any merit.
It means you took something to heart that was really meaningless. You were very young and impressionable and for some reason it stayed with you,
While some women do need someone to protect them or provide for them (or both), current equality trends say that women don't *need* a man.
yes it did stay with me, didn’t realize how much til this thread. oh.. I need a man, for both P’s
I don't see how you can separate the two.
Personally, I'll d anything to take care of my woman - whether it be financially, physically, etc.
That's just how I was raised. That's what a man is supposed to do.
I was starting to wonder…glad theirs still these kinda men out there
How about friend, lover companion? That protector provider stuff went out with the Nixon administration didn't it?
your talking sexual partner?
Protector or Provider?
(c) ie neither. I am a lover and an equal partner (and a feminist, so that explains why "neither" of the Ps).
you too are talking sexual partners?…I’m talking husband material…the long run
In the days of the cave man the men did everything outside the cave. Hunting, wars, and most of the gathering too. Mostly because men didn't suffer from either extreme heat or extreme cold the way women did.
The women did all the stuff inside the cave. Cooking, cleaning, medicine (DOCTORS) not just nursing, all relegion, (the high priestess was around long before the priest)
When farming started the women helped in the fields but they still stayed closer to the home. Same practical reason.
In this day and age it's never true. We are all team members, family teams, community teams, and national teams.
We are all specalists interdependent on one another and the idea of protector or provider is passee.
passee…wow…now my own dad seems….passee….they just had their 52 anniversary 1-6th -08 | |
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| Men are you a Protector or Provider...
Posted: 1/8/2008 11:29:04 PM |
When I was about 19, an 'older' man off handedly remarked to me "(my name), men are one of two things, protector or provider". He said it so matter of factly, left it at that, resumed his on air radio show without missing a beat.
To this day, I still wonder about that. It was the way[i/] he said it..like 'everyone knows'
My question's, which are you? and why? Is this even true? What does it mean. Do all boys instinctly know this and forgot to tell us girls, til we are grown ups...
I'm a goober. | |
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| Men are you a Protector or Provider...
Posted: 1/9/2008 3:18:32 AM | From post 32:
I had written: Protector or Provider?
(c) ie neither. I am a lover and an equal partner (and a feminist, so that explains why "neither" of the Ps).
Post 32's comment on my comment:
you too are talking sexual partners?…I’m talking husband material…the long run
1. The term "partner" applies to LTRs
2. There is nothing specifying marriage or LTRs or STRs or FwBs or whatever else in the "protector or provider" dilemmatic mumbo jumbo philosophising of the DJ. Where does the "husband material" question come in, in 2008? lol lol lol
That is the problem with those pseudophilosophical one liners that DJs and some other pop gurus like to "drop" in discussion : They are so vague, like the Oracle of the Delphi, that they really have no real wisdom value.
And to use another philosophical one liner, popular inter alia with statistics professors (like mine, lol): In the long run, we are all dead (that is what long run means, so long that it exceeds peoples' lives, at least in this milennium! ......
As per marriage, there is the pre-"Married with Children" Peggy and Al Bundy era and the post Married with Children one!!! lol lol | |
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| Men are you a Protector or Provider...
Posted: 1/9/2008 3:25:58 AM |
we do need you….maybe we feel ur stepping away from u too much...
I have no conscious interest in being protector or provider anymore.
It is ingrained, either in culture or biology but I'm working to weed it out.
My job is to have fun now.
Screw responsibility. | |
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| Men are you a Protector or Provider...
Posted: 1/9/2008 10:13:51 AM | edit:
we do need you….maybe we feel ur stepping away from ustoo much...
where are the ladies? sure would like to hear how u feel...Protector or Provider...is this something u 'instinctively' 'feel' from ur men?
or is it an old-fashioned...outdated....is it in our dna...what is happening to girlie girls...are they becoming extinct....
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| Men are you a Protector or Provider...
Posted: 1/9/2008 10:23:19 AM |
I protect myself from women who are looking for a provider, so I guess I am both at the same time.
was that a joke...so oldfashioned girls...ones who just want to be a housewife and mom...
are at a loss...
well no wonder gals are taking up the provider role...for theirselves...they surely cant just lay down and die.... | |
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| Men are you a Protector or Provider...
Posted: 1/9/2008 10:32:26 AM | Those so-called old-fashioned girls seem very modern when it comes to every other aspect of relationships. And so you have a new version of marriage, in which the man provides and has no say, at all. Mick Jagger sang about not being your beast of burden, and he walked for miles, his feet were hurting. Then he mumbled something about, um,
I'll never be your beast of burden
I've walked for miles and my feet are hurting
All I want is you to make love to me
The thing is, it is my strong and natural desire to protect, provide, cherish and all of it. And that has come to be a major liability in modern times, because women do not reciprocate any more, they use and abuse, if allowed. And so said Mick and we all agree. | |
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| Men are you a Protector or Provider...
Posted: 1/9/2008 10:43:03 AM | those words of Micks u just put up , i'm sitting here crying....involuntary crying...just busted outta me....my face is all wet
thats what my BF has been trying to say...oh god....what is going on
he in hospital now...trying to save a foot...they wanna amputate...and he has 'walked for miles'
what is a Beast of Burden? | |
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| Men are you a Protector or Provider...
Posted: 1/9/2008 11:12:00 AM | | I was protected and provided for on a 50/50 basis for the first 20 yrs, now its my turn doing it on my own. I learned a lot on how to do things, now I do the protecting, providing, pay the bills, cook the meals and take care of hubby till its time to walk into the light. Marriage or any relationship takes two people to make it work, that takes committment and follow-through. I don't think its old fashioned, its just reality. I'm not a girlie-girl, I have no problem running a household and have a job thrown in for good measure. Women have the protector instinct just as strongly as men do, even animals in the jungle have the female doing all the hunting and providing. | |
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| Men are you a Protector or Provider...
Posted: 1/9/2008 11:38:34 AM | where are the ladies? sure would like to hear how u feel...Protector or Provider...is this something u 'instinctively' 'feel' from ur men?
or is it an old-fashioned...outdated....is it in our dna...what is happening to girlie girls...are they becoming extinct....
I'm a lady (I wont admit it in public though) I dont feel the need to be either provided for or protected as I do that quite well on my own. I do however feel the need for a man who takes his own responsibilities seriously. That doesnt include this somewhat outdated idea that women cannot provide for themselves so it is up to the male to do so. And exactly what are they protecting us from? Life, Stress, big bad boogie man. For every man that claims women live in a fantasy land of Knights in Shining Armour there is a man who believes that he is that Knight and believes that is his role.
To me girlie girls are the ones that opt out of the challenges of life and sit back and use that as an excuse for not contributing. ie traditional roles or girlie girl.
I wont even comment on your thoughts that women wouldnt have done such a great job in building cities, roads and the like. You may be a woman who has no drive and are not capable of that sort of thing but that has nothing to do with your gender more to do with who you are as a person. | |
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| Men are you a Protector or Provider...
Posted: 1/9/2008 12:35:25 PM | ^^^oh my friend, i have lived and i have contributed^^^
i do have a fierce mother tiger in me!! Over those I love and strangers who are being hurt by a stronger force, I have stepped in...and won
i wonder then...am i a 'tomboy' and a 'girlie girl'...a 'woman' and a 'girl'
am i a woman yet...when do we become a 'woman'?
i get very very angry at the press calling teen girls 'women'
someone put age as:
1-12
13 - 19 = teenager (for dam good reasons!) and so on
yet when a boy teenager gets in trouble..he stands b4 a judge and all sudden becomes Mr so n so at his ripe ole age of 15/16... | |
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| Men are you a Protector or Provider...
Posted: 1/10/2008 9:12:24 AM | So...I'm thinkin about this and it seems to me there is a difference.
"Protect" would imply keeping what one already has or owns.
"Provide" implies adding to or giving more than is already available. | |
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| Men are you a Protector or Provider...
Posted: 1/10/2008 10:15:50 AM | JG: Interesting question. I was just discussing this with my former last night. He was the MOST protective man I've ever known in my entire life. No one, and that meant NO ONE, spoke above a normal tone (yelling which his mother was infamous for), talked down to me, nor did they abuse my personal space, my home, my entire being without him keeping a lovingly watchful eye on me. Even when we were apart for a couple of months, I knew he still felt protectiveness and I knew it was still there, as well. Exactly as if we were together at the same place and time.
When it came to providing ~ I did more of that part of the relationship because I had the better job, the furthered education, the ability to provide that he simply did not. I didn't question that, it was what it was, and in my life ~ has always been. I figure it evened out in the end. I was with someone who would have protected me with his life, if needbe, and I paid the gas bill or whatever. Seemed pretty fair to me. Once fate took over and rendered me without him for some great length of time, I missed the protection factor. Today, he's still my confidant, the one person that would hold my heart with such care it would never break. I do have one female friend who is the same, so I'd say I'm quite blessed. For me personally, I'd much rather have a protector than a provider. I can pay my own bills ~ but there are times we need a tag-team-partner to get through this thing we call life. The funny thing ~ I protect him in exactly the same way. Disrespect sent his direction ~ my fangs come out and the split tongue follows. I figure fair is fair ~ he deserves my protection from all the years he stood beside me. When times were tough and I was extremely ill ~ he took care of me, protected me and provided, so I suppose respect and gratitude are the key. Just like my best female friend ~ no one speaks ill of her to me ~ that is NOT allowed. My son and his gf are two other examples, no providing needed, but constant protection. Maybe that is how this man feels about me ~ I don't need his "providing" skills, but we all need a little protection now and then. ~ JMO  | |
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