| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 5/24/2005 5:45:50 AM |
Technology has rushed nothing. People just learn faster and know what we want faster.
Duh! That's why I said "We've allowed technology to rush us". If you don't think automobiles, drive-through windows, cellular telephones, hell, telephones for that matter, and the like have afforded us the opportunity to ignore everyday simple life blessings then you are LOST! | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 5/24/2005 8:04:26 AM | You know for centuries people have been unhappily married.
Women were basically prisoners and slaves for centuries. They did not even have the right to vote for much of history. They didnt get equal pay for work... they were treated as BENEATH a man... this was thr social norm. If they had a bad husband they had the choice of being a social outcast or being miserable.. some of them snapped.
There have been choices for them too... they had easy accesss to legal drugs for one and also there were mental hospitals pre 1950's. They did not have birth control... often many kids.. they were overworked with the kids, house, making meals.
Not all but many marriages were KEPT... but not considered happy.
Women got sick of it and revolted on a large scale and that is why things changed...
Now what you see is this:
with technology of the internet... most people are using this as a easy access to find others to use for short term relationshhips.. marriages, to decrease boredom... and pathetically to not be lonely. marriage is no cure for lonliness you know.
If you arent looking for short term, say so. Dont trust blindly... this is common sense.. why dont people use it ? If your looking for short term say so.
Dont accpet what you dont want... stop asking someone who doesnt know what they want to give you a try...find someone who has your values.... do not fear being alone... also: for a woman it is said its better to be alone. As history has not proved marriage has been good for women... why marry unless it to stay married?
Those who jump bed to bed lose the ability to love and be a partner.. so why mess with them?
Everyone creates their own enviroment by the choices they make. With the ease of divorce today women are no longer forced to stay in bad marriages with bad husband who mistreat them.
If you are not finding love... stop looking. Learn to love yourself. Finding someone to love and love you does not require you go out and date or sleep with 200 people.
You make your own choices in one way or another... you get what you ask for in o0ne way or another.. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR.. YOU MAY JUST GET IT.
As far as your prents conty... that was rare. It also is rare today... no more no less. | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 5/24/2005 8:47:01 AM | WOW,, Kitty...
that was Greatly put... ( one smart kitty that knows how to prowl)....
 --
I AGREE for THOSE that come in these sites and wanting a better lover.. SAY SO..
I AGREE for THOSE that are here on a pretense and can't love "THEMSELVES" let alone others.. you GET what you deserve... ( PUT A REAL PROFILE OUT) 
I AGREE we make the choices and that Marriage is NO solution to Lonliness - a better person does come around..... ya just have to know when to grab him/her....  
REDDRESS!!  | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 7/24/2007 12:56:14 PM | | in this modern throw away world we lose sight of what we really need to what were sold. if you know the value of your yr'self do not sell yr'self short. I wish you all the best you deserve it | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 7/24/2007 1:00:07 PM | wannagitaway..
that is nicely written...haha
you couldn't be more right. | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 7/24/2007 1:12:15 PM | | Just be thankful arranged marriage isn't a popular tradition among Americans. I couldn't imagine marrying some woman my parents chose. | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 7/24/2007 1:15:38 PM | Cntrygrl101, as far as I know, 26 is fairly young. I am 40, will be 41 in November, and I am still single.
My mother's second marriage was really great for the most part. Yes, they would argue and my dad would lose his temper. However, they loved each other very much. They were also best friends.
I hope that some day I will find myself in love and be best friends like my parents were.
Attraction is a big part of love. However, there has to be more than that. It is about having things in common and having things to learn from each other. It is about sharing thoughts and feelings. I am not really sure, though, that one can describe in words what love is really about.  | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 7/24/2007 3:57:22 PM | | I got married at 18 , had my daughter at 19 and my son at 21. I was divorced by 24. I thought I was in love. What the hell did I know, other than the fact that there was this man who "loved" me. Or so I thought. He constiantly told me how great and wonderful and beautiful I was. Who couldn't love that right? Then when things started to sour it was "who's gonna love you with 2 small kids blah blah blah." And to me that posed a very interesting question indeed. Who was going to love me. It took me a few yearss but I found the answer to that. ME!!! I was gonna love me and I do love me. I can honestly say that once I came to that realization that if I loved me then someone else would...it didn't bother me at all. A few years ago I met a man and truly found out what it was like to be loved uncondtiontally. Unfortunatly it didn't work out for us however I know that there is someone out there and that it does exisit. Getting married just for the sake of one reason or another is up to the couple. It is so easy to just say "well if it doesn't work out there is always divorce". However when two people love each other I mean truly love each other they will try and find a way to make it work with divorce being the ABSOLUTE last resort. | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 7/25/2007 5:35:04 AM | | I think love exists for some at best. I know when I got married I was 35 and I basicly settled the marriage lasted 5 yrs we had more downs then ups though her bi-polar disorder took its toll on me. till I didnt want to come home to my own house! So I filed for devorce and got devorced yrs ago! Ive never met my soul mate if that even exsists I cant find a woman worth getting involved with the few Ive met play way to many head games and they waist my time what little off time I do have. I decided today to just give up! I use to think since I work 2 jobs and own my own home and have plenty of things as well as plenty of love to give. That I would find somone wow have I been fooled! I guess my worst fear will come true after all I'll grow old and alone till the day I get to die it wont be by my hands just by natraul causes cancer or a car accident or a plane crash what ever it is its all in Gods hands. I grew up and still am a strong believer in Murphys Law! What can go wrong will! | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 7/25/2007 7:06:53 AM | Just when i was completely sold that the "real love" "painless love" didn't exist, IT FOUND ME & came to me! My first real love, I thought, lasted 20 yrs. My first love 16-36. Wanna hear something scary, I fell in love after the first time he nearly knocked me out! I believe he must love me so much, he can't control himself. Needless to say that we did eventually incorporate an non-violence approach to our relationship. Then the mental abuse took place. We slowly put each other spirits out! Real love does exist, the kind that lasts a lifetime. I found it when i gave up on it! This wonderful man, was scared as well, we were able to connect, Intellectually, Physically, Emotionally, as well as Spiritually. This connection is too precious to ignore. I now repulse acts of violence and prejudice. I never want to accept pain in my life, but if it comes my way again, I will truly embrace it, because it has prepared me for this moment all my life! wow, might sound cheezy, BUT! I LIKE CHEEZY! Thank you for this posting... I needed to hear the truth, people's truth about their experience with love!  | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 7/25/2007 7:15:39 AM | Not sure why we have to look harder, lots of ppl in this posting who knows what true love should be! Check out these real people! Lots of true love in here! Eeks! yay!  | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 7/25/2007 7:55:23 AM | OPie, the differences between what you want and expect from people, and what you get, are lessons about your fantasies, and not about those other people. You simply have an idea of people and relationships that was never universal, never even normative. You want your ideal to be the norm, which is ridiculous. The whole point of an ideal, it's reason for being desired, is that it is so different from the norm.
I'm not a religious person, but I don't have to be in order to point you to the Ten Commandments. Somebody came up with a short list (ten!) of rules for human behavior. There isn't anything in that list that people will do on their own, like eating every day or playing with their children. No, those are laws, rules intended to call people to ideal behavior. And one of them is about adultery, isn't it? As in, don't do it?
There is your absolute proof positive that, in "olden times" (How old are you?), people were fvcking each other outside of marriage willy nilly. Otherwise, why would anyone bother to publish that prohibition? People like to fvck, and not only for some monogamous ideal. And we always have. Certainly, some more (LOTS more!) than others. And some never even once.
There's nothing wrong with what you want for yourself, OPie. I hope you find it, or something even better. But your sentimentality is causing you unnecessary pain and confusion. (Sentimentality is nostalgia for things that never existed.) One thousand years ago, or 5,000, or more, some other girl was fooling herself with exactly the same fantasy. In exactly the same world. With exactly the same kinds of human beings.
Cheers!
Vulf | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 7/25/2007 9:41:18 AM | Cntrygrl101, what your parents had was very rare & special. It may take you a long time to find the right person,
or you might be as lucky as they were. The world is a very big place, there's no way of knowing where "he" is.
But shieldvulf is right, what you are seeking is an ideal, something very out of the oridnary. Love isn't always
that spectacular, but that doesn't mean that it can't be just as special, in its own way.
You may have to modify your goals somewhat, but NEVER give up on your dreams.
People who don't have dreams, don't have much | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 7/25/2007 10:10:52 AM | Sure it does, as long as no conditions are put on someone......
Note to OP:
When there is total unconditional love for someone, and they are totally accepted for who they are, what they look like, what they do, and their past good or bad-------> that equals REAL LOVE and it does exist.................... | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 7/25/2007 10:34:18 AM | | Wow, I have thought this many times. I think in the age of the internet and everything else that is out there it is so easy to become focused on something or someone else. We all want what we can't have and when we have it we don't want it anymore. There are few people these days that are raised with the values that my parents have and my grandparents had. Sad but true. | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 7/25/2007 10:44:28 AM | So, HB1615, is one of those values you got from your 'rents something about making broad, negative generalizations about people you don't know? Because you've got that one down!
Cheers!
Vulf | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 7/25/2007 11:37:20 AM | [So, HB1615, is one of those values you got from your 'rents something about making broad, negative generalizations about people you don't know? Because you've got that one down!]
Wow who stole the cookies out if your lunch box today? I think my post was directed at many including the "we" I used that would include me. | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 7/26/2007 4:24:50 AM | | Its to bad that her parents didnt teach her how to form a sentence! My parents and grandparents were all raised in good wholesome loving families. The Womans Lib came along! I have no problems with them wanting equal rights and striving for better jobs. Yet it floors me that when it comes to dating they claim (even the to young for me ones)! That their old fashion and have the belief that the guy should pay for everything. They make good money they should pay if nothing else at least for themselves and get a babysitter for their kids, instead of bringing them on the dates so they save the money on hiring a babysitter and their kids get a free meal! Im not waisting my hard earned money on them or their kids! You had them you support them! | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 7/26/2007 4:43:55 AM | They make good money they should pay if nothing else at least for themselves and get a babysitter for their kids, instead of bringing them on the dates so they save the money on hiring a babysitter and their kids get a free meal!
Really the children shouldn't be brought into an argument. Where is the father that had them?? Did you ever think to ask about that one? It takes two to tango. Remember that.
Alot of people seem comfortable having their first meeting with children around. A first meeting isn't a date. Too many times I see men turning a first meeting into a date of some sort. Nothing wrong with turning it into a date if you both clicked and are curious about getting to know one another.
The problem is communication.
I see and hear people do, then they complain. Had you communicated your expectations from the beginning you would have both been on the same page.
| |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 7/26/2007 4:54:58 AM | It does. I hope to find that someday. I have an aunt and uncle that were married when they were 16. They are still married today. In their late 50's now and they are still in love and playful when they are together. They are best of friends.
^^^^That is what I want. It's difficult to find someone who enjoys the same activities you do, who has the same sense of humour, who is easy going, etc etc. | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 7/26/2007 7:12:20 PM | | Welcome to my world, I refuse to settle for anything less then true love, I haven't, and yeah... It sucks. Oh well, half the fun of exploring the world is finding other souls that share a kinship with you. | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 7/26/2007 7:21:26 PM | | True love and companionship obviously does not exist anymore...... At least it seems as if it will never for me, since it never has .... | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 7/26/2007 10:55:16 PM | Yes, it does. And the thing is you won't ever find it. Not if you are actively pursuing it. If you pursue it you will act desperate, and that will sink you. Nobody wants to fall to a hunter; that is simple survival. Why do people go after the "bad seed"? Simple. Whether they are or not, they appear to be enjoying themselves. Like attracts like and don't you like to enjoy yourself? So what do you do? Relax. live the type of life you want to have and you become and attract what you live. Then one day when you least expect it, love will find you. You just have to be open to the possibility.
It may seem stupid, but has anything else worked? | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 7/27/2007 11:31:21 AM | | Cj300zx.......I bet you don’t have many dates with that attitude. God forbid that us women should ask for equal. Stop dating underachievers and you would not have that problem, or is just that a successful women that makes money would not touch you with a 10 foot pole! FYI , before you flame anyone on their sentence structure better check your own grammar. | |
|
| Does Love Really Exist?
Posted: 7/27/2007 11:43:23 AM | I'm delighted to second HB's emotion!
Equality is not the same thing as uniformity. And nothing changed in etiquette - nor even in common courtesy - with the recognition that women are people.
For instance, it was never "the man" who was expected to pay. It was, and is, the person who makes the invitation. The person who accepts the invitation is the guest, and is to be treated.
Besides, does any man really think a woman should have to pay for the privilege of listening to his bad girlfriend stories?
Cheeese!
Vulf | |
|
Home
login 
