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| Love and Sex
Posted: 1/9/2008 3:05:04 PM | | In case some of you haven't yet experienced real love (especially if it is reciprocated) -- and not just lust. Love makes sex 100's of times better. | |
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| Love and Sex
Posted: 1/9/2008 3:09:13 PM | love and sex are two seperate feelings.
of course it is nice to love the one you are having sex with.
but sex is not love.
love is not sex. | |
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| Love and Sex
Posted: 1/9/2008 3:25:23 PM | I believe love and sex can be two different feelings. The urge to have sex with another need not have anything to do with love. I have also loved many people (men included ) with whom I have not had sex. At my stage of life my sexuality is connected to my heart. So no deep emotional connection, no sex.
Romantic love most often includes sexual expression of that love. But I believe committed love can leave sex behind if there are some physical or emotional disabilities in one of the partners. I believe committed love can rise above the need to have sex in most circumstances. I would not leave my partner just because he was not able to have sex with me. There is much more to loving than sex. | |
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| Love and Sex
Posted: 1/9/2008 3:38:30 PM |
In my opinion sex is a physical activity which serves to satisfy a human urge or instinct.
I know a lot of men who would say the same thing. I know men who can have sex with woman after woman, different ones each day of the week.
That isn't me.
For me, sex is an extention of my love. I express my love through sex...among other things.
However, I can love someone without sex. IMHO, laying in bed with his arms wraped around me, stroking my hair, looking into my eyes, kissing me gently is very satisfying! | |
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| Love and Sex
Posted: 1/9/2008 4:25:54 PM | Great question...
God can love everyone on this earth and he dose not have sex with any of us.
Mothers can love everyone from their hearts.
Grandmothers can love everyone in the family and friends again in their hearts.
Men however.. are not quite the same...
Some men can love as Santa Clause loves a child. This is a different kind of love
Men's love is special but only if they understand there kind of love and what it means to be a man..
The love a man has for his parents is respect and gratitude.
the love he has for his best buddy's is admeration and respect.
the love he has for his coworkers is loyalty.
the love he has for his wife is a sensual desire, along with respect and admeration for having all thous dang kids.. but still loving him after wards.. lol
The love a man has for his kids, is special it never should cross the line and it is the most amazing fatherhood a man can feel in his life, he is a hero to his children it is wonderment. the love a father feels for his children is amazement... God's creations,
but what is love, can love and sex be separated,, Yes.. YEs in dead..
When love and sex is not separated then we get Rapes, incest and abuse. Some men do not understand the different in love and they do cross the line...
Love is a feeling from the heart, it is empathy, for a human. But most people now a days do not know what empathy is.. most of the 40yr olds have not learned this and I know that for first hand..
A man asks a women out on a date, but with in 10mints he wants to have sex with her, he wants to take her to a quit place, or motel, or back to her place regardless if kids are there or not.. all he can think about is sex... I WANT SEX THE MAN THINKS.. This is empathy.. he dose not have it for a women... he only knows what his needs are and how he feels and that he is aroused.. but he dose not even care if she is not interested in him, .or if she is bing made out to be a pleaser toy to him..
Sex is a feeling from the body and the brain, it is a heart beating racing, thumping, palm sweating, grown growing feeling. Most women and men get this on Love at first site.. or should it be called.. Passion... Yep...
Because men know what it is like to have sex with a women or man.. they want that feeling to never ever leave ever again.... and women know this... and use it to their advantage at times...
Women and men look at sex much differently..
A man sees a hot body and wants it...
A women sees a Husband and father and partner for life.
So Love an Sex are not the same...
When a women puts both of these together.. it is MAKING LOVE...
NOT ' HONN'Y I WANT SEX'..... is is Honny lets make love please i am in the mood..
When we have Sex and then love we lose the meaning for making love it is no longer.. that is were the word.. Duck with a F... comes from... We take the Love Making out and we have just hot sex.. or craappy sex for most.. lol
Men and Women.. Let's learn that lovemakings is a priceless gift to your partner and it should never be taken for granted, even if your partners are ill, or sick.. for the vowels are .. for better or worse, sickness and health, in death do us apart...
so don't cheat on your wife's for you just want sex with out love.. and women.. Stay away from married men.... I am a victim.... lol.... but i walked away with everything so in the end.. i benefited.. lol Pastor Julie | |
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| Love and Sex
Posted: 1/12/2008 2:34:13 AM | I've been in love a few times and still love a few.
Sex is different. I limit myself to a single sex partner out of respect.
Love is more of an involuntary overwhelming, obligation to a person.
Sex is sharing that feeling clenched together in a sweaty madness. WOOT! Sex for me is more of a friendship issue than love. If she makes me mad I'm not so much in the mood. If the friendship/relationship is going well I want to rock her world. Love is the lasting feeling. Sex has an ebbe and flow. | |
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| Love and Sex
Posted: 1/12/2008 7:40:47 PM | | Guess you could have sex without love but I don't wanna. Sex is soooooo much better for me when I love my partner. It takes it to a whole different level. Less inhibition on my part. | |
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| Love and Sex
Posted: 1/12/2008 8:08:15 PM | | While they can occur separately, I don't think that I'd engage in sex without love or that I'm capable of engaging in casual sex without falling in love... | |
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Beedo
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Joined: 1/6/2008
Msg: 34 | |
| Love and Sex
Posted: 1/12/2008 8:50:50 PM | Love and Sex are certainly not the same thing, It must be Love is more important,
otherwise I'd been out running around a long time ago and when the mood just strikes me.
One of the best scewers for a lack of a better word was also one of the biggest liars and thieves I'd ever known, he tried hard to get hold of me lately even as he is married.
His wife is willing to completely support him, they have no children, he just dont want to work.
She's paying a big price for that a$$, one I wasnt willing to pay once I found out what he was really all about.
NOW if he touched me I'd consider it rape, He would NEVER turn me on.
I'll take a man having difficulty performing who has a big heart over some active lying cheater any day, I know how to pleasure myself if needed.
There are so many ways a relationship can work depending on the individuals concerning these issues, That's why I've been willing to resist jumping into just any ole thing just to have something, I want a good match, I want it to be something that actually survives the hard times, and that may or may never happen, its better than selling my soul for some screwing. | |
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| Love and Sex
Posted: 2/11/2008 5:53:15 AM | Love is a feeling to love others and there is a different kinds of love,sure you can love someone as a person,as a friend,but to be in love with some one,this a different special or certain feeling inside our hearts and you want to be with that person,that certain special pleasant feeling and reaction toward that person and you 'd like to have a strong relation and you care about that person and in your thoughts all the times,that is love and sex will be great in this because it will be the act of given and express more about love and should make the love more strong and continue stronger.
Only sex, is the lust,which does not contain any of that pleasant feeling it is just to satisfy lust burning but no love in it. | |
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| Love and Sex
Posted: 2/11/2008 6:04:12 AM |
Do you believe that love and sex are separate feelings?
Yes
Can you love someone without necessarily having sex with them?
Yes
Or do you think that sex and love go together?
Yes
In an ideal world, sex and love go together. Sometimes, for physical as well as emotional reasons, one member of a partnership is unable to perform adequately with their significant-other. Does that mean the love has gone from the relationship? No. If one partner finds they are able to be aroused by another person and strays outside the previously agreed upon boundaries of behavior and has sex, does that necessarily mean the relationship they are in should be terminated? Hell no.
A couple have been together for 15 years. The male develops an inability to gain an erection and sex becomes virtually non-existent within the relationship. Would his partner leave him because she is sexually deprived or will her love for him keep them together?
There have been times in my life when my physical condition made it impossible to get a decent erection. There are more ways than coitus to satisfy a woman and I practiced them much to the enjoyment and pleasure of my particular partner at the time. Sometimes I was on a medication that prohibited me from using Viagra. Again, there are other stimulating means of satisfying your partner.
I think sex is sex and love is love. "Making love" is not necessarily "having sex" and vice versa. But that is my approach to the subject. And, it is important that all people involved agree. | |
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| Love and Sex
Posted: 3/2/2008 2:42:40 PM | Hi. I some what agree with you but on different points. I beleieve you can love some one without having sex with them.
However, there is a intimacy with sex so i dont agree u can do it without feelings for the person. howeever, different people think different on this subject. some people are able to have sex without feelings. I heard men usually find this easier to do, but i know female friends who have one night stands just the same, so i think its just generally the way our society has become.
Great love and great sex together is usually the bes formula, what do u think?! | |
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| Love and Sex
Posted: 6/12/2008 6:02:38 PM | Sex has different meanings to both sexes.
Most females (except prostitutes and the prosmiscuous) will only have intercourse when they feel an emotional connection with the partner.
Most males can have intercourse without emotional connection.
In your scenario where the male has ED, the interpretation of sex here needs to be defined. If the woman is committed to him she can be very intimate with him without intercourse, there are other aspects of sexual acts without me having to be explicit here.
They willn stay together because of their commitment to each other, because love is ore than sex. | |
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| Love and Sex
Posted: 6/12/2008 6:06:04 PM |
Do you believe that love and sex are separate feelings? You're 53 and asking this? We're you raised by a sand bag? | |
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| Love and Sex
Posted: 6/12/2008 6:57:57 PM |
Would his partner leave him because she is sexually deprived or will her love for him keep them together?
As a man you are probably more interested in an answer from a woman. Now keep in mind that you may want to know the 'truth' and not the 'answer'. Why? Consider this: Less than a minute before my ex-wife admitted to having cheated, she said she never has cheated and never will. At that point she already knew she was lying, but she gave the 'right' answer anyway.
You need to differentiate
a) what a woman says she will do
b) what a woman thinks she will do
c) what a woman actually will do
a), b) and c) may be in line. She probably thinks it would suck not to have sex, but true love yada yada yada. I'd say rare but conceptually possible. I have more faith in the lottery.
If b) is different, she may act and talk in a supportive way but know better what will end up happening. She may want to be the second thing out of the door (after your sex drive), but she would not admit it to you and hopes it never happens, in which case her bluff is not called. She may leave you for 'another' reason though, like your new grumpiness, just to feel that she acted as she said she would.
c) could be different, if she truly thought she could handle it but she cannot. Over time she may realize that she cannot deal with it and act accordingly. She may feel guilty because she clings to a) and b), but she either cheats and stays with you or she leaves.
Furthermore, her mindset could change. The answer for b) could vary from one end of the spectrum to the other a few years down the road. That is a good excuse to pretend she never lied ("I meant it back then, so it was not a lie"). And at an early stage she will be convinced of her then-mindset and defend it.
=> Either way, what she SAYS will be supportive.
It is inconceivable to me how a woman could possibly tell her man (relationship, not FWB): "Honey, if you lose it, I am history".
Having said that, the feedback of any woman who has not actually been in a comparable situation is fairly useless for your uncovering the truth. It is like the question "Could you kill somebody?" - I could say 'yes' and not have the nerve to do it or say 'no' and do it anyway in self-defense. Who would have thought. The only people who can answer this are the guy who actually did it and the guy who chose not to and got shot, yet survived miraculously.
I would wager that an overwhelmingly positive answer is supported by only an underwhelming fact base. The grass is not greenER on the other side, it is green. Period. Sorry, but logically speaking I don't think you will get what you are looking for, unless you get truthful answers from women who have been there (and who is to say they don't have more skeletons than a graveyard). | |
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| Love and Sex
Posted: 6/12/2008 7:28:02 PM | hi, i'm actually not directly answering the post you put, but more like putting up an email i sent a girl recently. this girl is sweet, beautiful and sexy..but not the woman i want..
..a friend = true friendship between a man and a woman of similar age has to have some sexuality.. otherwise it's jut goofing around.. the same way between true friendship between two guys has to have some kind of competition.. oh i digress, this isn't the point. the point is - and hey i could be in the wrong chat - i am posting this email in the Love & Sex forum, appropriately so, and i'm doing this because the woman i want to love, and love with all my heart (= my pretty babe, significant other), did the same at times when she wanted to communicate with me (i know, funny right).. ANYWAY
hi xyz,
i wrote you a while back.. i might have written you a few emails actually, i don't remember the exact number..
anyway, this email is to welcome you back to this site, i noticed you were inactive for a long (relatively long) period..
you look great in your main pic.. great to me means beautiful, you look beautiful..
i wish girls didn't get mad when you wrote them babe: there's babe = i want to screw you, and there's babe = i want to give you the sweetest affection. and yes, guys that want to do that aren't necessarily unmanly (they also want you for sex), it's just that they focus more on your heavenly aspects and making sure they keep that smile on your face.
are these words of wisdom or of agony, a man complaining of heartbreaking agony? i don't know.. the agony part may be far-fetched, but some girls have no mercy = no God when it comes to not giving those guys that actually aren't like "yay it's all fun and relaxed, i'm not trying to methodically find a way to love you".. c'mon it's the guys that put in the effort that are worth the while.. when you find someone you really want, that person (=girl) has to do some understanding that, hey, he IS trying to find the best way to connect, it's a thoughtful process too
bye
B | |
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| Love and Sex
Posted: 6/13/2008 1:35:58 AM | Not even sure the OP is still around; but it's one of those threads started by one question, and hiding another. Like most men, he supposes that sex revolves around his erection, and that's it. These are the same guys who go out and take viagra 'just in case', god forbid there was ever a time they can't 'plow her 'till the cows come home'. I would think that by now, we're firmly in the 21st century, and most know that the myth of every woman coming every time by intercourse alone (especially in missionary position) is just that. So, there are all kinds of other ways to achieve sexual satisfaction.
Now, the original supposition is that love and sex are two seperate things. They are. But when we love someone, who is also the object of sexual attraction, things get complicated, so it's natural to get confused about it. Then you wind up linking the two. Yes, it's wonderful to be in love with someone and be sexually attracted to them, but it's not necessary at all in order to successfully pass along your genes; just think of the number of children born that are not the offspring of the 'father' (not to mention all those 'baby daddies' and 'baby mommies' out there that are the result of one night of 'meaningless sex', who were never a couple to begin with, their lust overcoming better judgement and 'love' never being involved at all). Historically, it benefited a woman more to have both these feelings linked in order to increase the odds of the man staying with her, to support the children he fathered. For the male, staying with her was not as important as was impregnating more females so as to increase the number of offspring with his dna. So much of our behavior appears to be genetically influenced, and yet people still refuse to accept that possibility. Love and sex? Great together; but like pizza and beer, great apart as well. | |
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| Love and Sex
Posted: 6/13/2008 5:33:20 AM | Well my parents certainly love each other...but my mom mentioned just the other day that neither of them have any libido right now which is sad to her but still, just the same, they ain't getting any and they still have love. Married about 40 years now.
When I was "happily married", so to speak, there were periods of time where our libido waned and we weren't banging in the bed very often. We still had love though and no we didn't leave each other.
Of course...I think often, barring external stress (jobs, kids) or health issues (meds, diseases), if a couple has lost their lust...often that is a sign of problems in teh relationship that aren't being resolved. And if there is love...well, if the problems don't get resolved the love will die too. first goes the lust, then goes the love.
Kaylie | |
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| Love and Sex
Posted: 6/20/2008 1:45:59 PM | Love and sex are separate.
You can love your kids, parents, siblings, friends, without having sex with them.
Regarding one partner being physically unable to perform the act of sex, there are ways around such a disability. Plenty of couples use toys to supplement when the partner is unable to, although they are intimate in all other ways than through intercourse. | |
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| Love and Sex
Posted: 6/20/2008 3:36:34 PM |
Do you believe that love and sex are separate feelings?
They can be. We can and often do combine them, but they do not have to go hand in hand.
Can you love someone without necessarily having sex with them?
We love our families, right? Do we have sex with them? No. So obviously you can.
I personally have to LIKE whoever I sleep with. Generally, if I'm not necessarily IN LOVE with someone I'm having sex with, there are at least fairly strong feelings there (attraction and I like them.. think they're cool, etc...) if no desire for a real relationship exists.
My friends that I really like (and I imagine I love them in a familial way).. well.. I am not boffing them. | |
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