| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/8/2008 3:37:02 PM | | FWIW, I have found that politics isn't the best subject to discuss on first dates. There are lots of things that I too am very passionate about, but women generally don't want to hear about that kind of stuff. First dates are usually just about small talk and the like. I like to have deep discussions about things, but have found that a first date isn't the best venue to get up on my proverbial "soap box".......I think that most women are turned-off by that. You are served best by avoiding such topics as religion, sex, politics, etc. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/8/2008 3:40:55 PM | packagedealx3 wrote:
Quite often we answer our questions if we reread our own thread post.
That's because quite often questions are simply statements in disguise. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/8/2008 3:47:58 PM | The worst things to discuss on the first (few) date(s) are:
1. Politics
2.Religion
3.Ex's
4.Problems in general (Mental,Physical,Job etc.)
I think if you are really involved in something, it should be and needs to be discussed. If you are a total right winger and the date is a total left, often you aren't going to agree on anything. Why waste time?
Religion to me is important. I have not gone out with a guy because of his "sheep" attitude.
Ex's, think that depends on what you are discussing about ex's, if you are just slamming them, that won't look too good.
Problems in general that is something I have read a few posts on, things people didn't tell you before the first date. I think that depends on the problem, physical can be important to talk about. Physical things can effect what activities you do.
Work problems sometimes needs to be discussed. If you have to get up early the next day to go to work and have to change your date plans, it can be an important date discussion.
I am not sure how sex missed this list...but I think that someone that would go overboard in a discussion about sex would end the date pretty fast.
Drugs and music are often discussions, as in feelings about doing or being around illegal drugs and what kind of music you like. I know that I don't want to go out with someone that would only like country.
The thing about rules on a first date is that there aren't any. It is up to the couple going out and how far each is comfortable with the discussion. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/9/2008 10:28:24 AM | being someone who is also very interested in politics and world religions i would say the following is outdated and ill fated advise
"Topics like politics and religion are things you talk about when you know someone
a lot better".
you can indicate on profile that politics is a big aspect of your life and in what ways it is, and you should. if someone cannot respect what your doing then you are probably best to be rid of them sooner rather than later.
someone that cannot respect the following comment isnt religious, they are fundamentalist morons >>"" religion is a choice, all religious beliefs are based on speculation"
for me, ppl who cant even concieve that any idea other than there own is valid is not worth the space they take up on the planet. all things perhaps are not possible, but many of them are at least probable. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/9/2008 2:33:00 PM | Good point, #30.........I actually happen to like discussing things like that myself, but 9 times out of 10 it is a real turn-off with most of the women that I have met. Guess I just keep meeting all the wrong ones! (At least this is what everyone keeps telling me!)  | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/9/2008 2:50:43 PM | daveb951:
"Liberals and the far left are the ones most intolerable of another point of view. All others ( Dems, Rep, Indep. Libertarians) would have no problem discussing politics or having a different point of view concerning politics......"
The truth is, anyone on the far ends both liberal AND conservative are intolerant . . . not just liberals. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/9/2008 3:07:57 PM | The truth is, anyone on the far ends both liberal AND conservative are intolerant . . . not just liberals
THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT.
being a liberal myself, its those far to the parameters of any party or philosophy which are the intollerant ones. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/9/2008 3:15:53 PM | | Politics may best be avoided on the first couple of dates or meetings, but if you are passionate about your political beliefs and you live your life by them, then politics might not have to be overtly discussed for you to get a sense of where the other's political leanings may lay. If you are in agreement, then you will have lots to talk about. If not, well, it might be difficult. I have very strong political beliefs that are very important and reflect my basic philosophy and outlook on life and I would have a very difficult time being with a winab who did not share them. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 1/9/2008 4:05:34 PM | | There may be some couples who decide never to talk about politics - though perhaps in retrospect Eva Braun might have had a happier life if she had, on occasion, just tabled the odd enquiry..... 'Your'e too busy annexing the Sudentenland? And you promised me we were going for a picnic with Josef and Magda.....' | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 9/28/2009 8:24:09 PM | In my personal opinion, politics has a major effect on a relationship. For example, I am a big 'L' Libertarian. If you are not familiar with what a Libertarian is, we are basically socially liberal and fiscally conservative.
Make your own mistakes and succeed on your own but nobody in society owes you a darn thing if you make a mistake and vice versa, you do not owe anybody a DAMN thing if you make something of yourself. I do not agree with AA, I do not agree with marijuana being illegal (I personally do not smoke it), I agree that every state should feel free to have their own laws and if you do not like them you need to move.
Abortion? I do not care.
Welfare? 6 months max and you cannot vote while you are sucking the government's nipples.
War? We need to fix our own problems unless a country is directly threatening us.
Taxes? Flat retail.
Sin tax? Leave everyone the hell alone.
Oh and if you need nanny government to hold your hand and tell you what to do, GTFO of the gene pool. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 9/29/2009 1:38:59 AM | | unless you like arguing with people about stupid stuff that doesnt matter, then a. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 9/29/2009 2:02:30 AM | Two things that will always divide people are religion and politics. I have my opinions and so will anyone I meet. Yes, there are the "fence sitters" and I find them rather boring. Often, they are also the passive person who would rather let the wife be beaten or child abused than get involved. Some will call themselves a "moderate." Rush Limbaugh told the truth when he stated, "There are no famous moderates."
If I hide or hold back just so I won't offend someone, I'm doing a disservice to them in learning who I am. That doesn't mean I have to go out of my way to offend them or talk politics all the time but I shouldn't restrain just to avoid hurt feelings. I'd rather date someone who would engage me with thought, challenge me, provoke me with ideas and keep my brain active. That being said, I'm also not likely to date someone who has thought well of Fred Phelps or marched with Code Pink.
I jokingly refer to myself as a cross between a libertarian and a reformed anarchist. I don't want to take over government but I do want to abolish eighty-percent of it. I favor the FairTax and I believe current military along with retired military shouldn't pay taxes, ever again. US Representatives should be limited to three four-year terms. US Senators should be limited to two six-year terms. Representatives should not be allowed to run for the senate without a minimum of two calendar years out of office. Neither representative or senators should be allowed to run for president without a minimum of four calendar years out of elected office. I hate abortion but respect individual rights. The Framers did not intend to count pregnant women twice.
I suppose I could meet the female version of James Carville and might enjoy such a person. But, I really hope she has hair. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 9/29/2009 2:42:37 AM | | I'm arguably libertarian but I feel more comfortable with the label "capitalist" for my political beliefs. If the potential romantic interest isn't big into politics, that's fine, but if she is and is competitive about it, I don't see it working. I debate politics daily. I'm very competitive and very stubborn. I've had budding relationships crash and burn because they would try to push their socialist ideas on me and I would explain economics. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 9/29/2009 4:06:23 AM |
When on dates is it okay to talk about politics?
I actually bring it up early. Like you, there's certain things I'm passionate about (equality for homosexuals for example), that can be deal killers for me. Others aren't deal killers per se, but can be if we (the potential and I) aren't able to find a "mutual respect" for our differences. Why not figure this out sooner rather than later? Why emotionally invest in one another, then find out it won't work because our philosophies are too different / we're unable to reconcile those differences? | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 9/29/2009 6:21:15 PM | The way I see it, political and religious views are important topics that absolutely SHOULD be discussed on the first date. Or better yet, discuss those things before hand so you will know if a first date would even be worth your time.
If the first date is between to people who don't really have strong religious beliefs or political views then I guess it wouldn't matter in that case. But for people who have strong convictions regarding their political and/or religious beliefs, then avoiding such topics is simply not an option....unless you don't mind dating someone who may not understand your deepest concerns, darkest fears, and brightest hopes. Doesn't sound like the beginnings of a great relationship if you ask me. | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 9/29/2009 7:18:42 PM | ^^^^I agree with what he said.
I think you should put it in your profile! This is a very hot topic. I would not want to waste my time with an extremist and I hate talking politics. I would never date a conservative because I know we would clash like oil and water. Get it out in front and that way no one is surprised or disappointed. (At least about political opinions!)  | |
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| Politics and dating
Posted: 9/29/2009 8:11:08 PM |
The way I see it, political and religious views are important topics that absolutely SHOULD be discussed on the first date. Or better yet, discuss those things before hand so you will know if a first date would even be worth your time.
Thirded. If these things aren't very important to you, nevermind then! But when they are, and it is natural to you to talk about them, you should go ahead and talk about them. There are rare exceptions - anyone who's interested in the matter probably knows of Carville and Matalin, who reportedly do not talk about politics at home - but I believe they are indeed rare. Most of us do best with those of similar passions and might as well get that out of the way from the start. | |
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