| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 1/19/2008 7:40:44 AM | what does it say in the "desired relationship type" spot?
Although i didnt add pix, it also took a direct question from my GF- "How come you didnt update or delete your profile?"
I said, "Oh, sorry, I will do it right away."
And did. (change it that is, have gotten too addicted to the forums to go away entirely.)
Ask him straight up. Some of us forget subtle yet important details and need to be reminded with a 2 x 4 in the head once in a while.
the new pict (knowing you took it) without other meaningful changes from your perspective is grounds for bing miffed.
Go get that 2 x 4. | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 1/19/2008 9:25:34 AM | If I read it right, the profile contained a photo you took of him? That is low.
<div class="quote">IMHO.....
- 98% of people on the internet are very jaded and very suspicious and if anything they are very reserved and detached .
- 1.999% are reasonable and have a good attitude and will meet and give it a shot .
- 0.001% will fall in love and get engaged without even meeting ! (that is wild! )
I'm probably part of the 98%.
Darn, cedar77, I was just getting ready to fall for you! | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 1/19/2008 9:38:00 AM | Well, look at it this way, OP...
do you have ANY idea how much it would have cost him to get "great 24 hour on-demand sex from a hot, blonde, young chick who thinks she's loved" for NINE DAYS STRAIGHT, including probably meals homecooked by you....if he hired a hooker to do that? (Think "Pretty Woman")
OVER TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS.
So, flying to meet you and screw you and have you fawn over him for nine days was WELL worth the cost of the plane ticket. He probably has quite a list of chicks like you going....so that every time a vacation comes up, he's got the B&B with Benefits already lined up.
Pretty smart dude, I'd say.
Too bad that kind of crap doesn't work for us women unless we are under 25. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
Anything that sounds too good to be true, USUALLY IS. | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 1/20/2008 5:39:24 AM | | Come on! You believed him? Maybe I am not very trusting. That would have totally turned me off and I would have run like hell. I understand that you can have a strong connection with someone over the phone but marriage? I don't think so! Honey, have more confidence in yourself. | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 1/20/2008 8:28:23 AM | | Sometimes, we have logic and what Icall emotional logic. Dependent on our state of mind at the moment is the logic we use. If your lonely and sometimes down and want more, and want it now (time period) we get caught up in the emotional logic. Logic and commonsense simply states you can't fall in Love on a telephone. No one can. | |
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PamBam
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Joined: 12/17/2007
Msg: 56 | |
| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 1/20/2008 8:35:40 AM | | I think that he is married, and this is a pass time for him. He also falls under the category of "Sociopath"! The nine days that u spent together he probably told his wife he would be on a business trip! | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 1/20/2008 8:41:42 AM | When I first got my computer and went online, I "met" a guy who lived 2200 miles away. We chatted on msn and yahoo and we played a few games like yahoo pool. Then we did the phone thing. Our 'communication' lasted quite awhile - 8 months and we both decided that since we "Seemed" to have so much in common, inc. great rapport that we should meet - BEFORE getting emotionally invested.
Being mature adults we were both quite aware of the fact that we hadn't met and that That was the Only way we would know if we were truelly compatible - ie the chemistry thing.
Long story short - I borrowed a car, my long distance 'friend' popped for the gas and I took the trip. We met. We had a fun week and I came home. We are Not a match! lol
Had he started telling me he 'loved' me before we met, I wouldn't have taken the trip and would likely have stopped our chatting. "love" is not a word to use flippantly, nor is it one that I would hear and take to heart from someone I'd never met - in person.
I agree with the poster who said "Some people shouldn't have computers".
A.S.is
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 1/20/2008 9:36:27 AM | "He started telling me he loved me over the phone"
HELLO..... who does that..... MEN.... Why do they feel the need to through that word out like bait on a hook. How can we be so gullible to swollow it hook, line and sinker.... how desperate are we????? | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 1/20/2008 12:13:03 PM | That whole situation sounds scary to me! I would have had my running shoes on when he was talking engagement without meeting me.
If you have never met you can't possibly know someone. Your mind will fill in the blanks and when you like someone youre not going to fill in those blanks with negatives. Then, when you do finally meet you discover they are not the person you built them up to be. Be careful in the future, you know what you want but also take steps to protect yourself. Good luck! | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 1/20/2008 2:03:23 PM | I think some people are in love junkies, they want to love but don't know how. Online is safe for them, they get the rush without having to worry about the big picture. Once they meet they can't deal with real life complications of a relationship.
I can understand why you're hurt and try not to let it change your kind hearted nature because you must have had good moments with him to talk to him for so long. Try to remember those and forgive him for being a weak person. Never let a damaged person take you down with them.
Or I'm completely wrong and he was another online predator. Anyway it works, you have to move on and stop thinking about what you did wrong and learn from the experience. | |
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valann
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Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 63 | |
| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 1/20/2008 4:51:15 PM | It is unfortunate that you had to meet such an A but the world is full of them.
You appear to be a very sweet person and there are people out there who will prey on someone like you. But keep in mind that you did nothing wrong. He was the one that was dishonest. Is sounds as though he has some mental issues going on. Like someone said earlier, maybe he is living in a fantasy world.
You are lucky to have found out now how he is than to waste any more of your time on this loser.
People who play with other people's hearts are trash in my book. Life is too short for such crap.
Next time, be on your guard. Don't fall so fast or too easily. | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 1/20/2008 4:54:45 PM | That is exactly what I wrote on my profile........"Do not tell me things that you think I want to hear if its not true"...I would have been alittle nervous about someone telling me he brought me a ring before you even met him..That would have been a red flag to me that he was not all there.........Sorry just my opinion..he is a player..... | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 1/20/2008 6:36:59 PM | | To begin with if someone is already talking about rings even looking for them and I haven't met them, I'd be thinking fatal attraction. Words in e-cards and on the phone don't mean anything. It seems you fell for what he was selling and are now put out when the walls come tumbling down. | |
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Jet7
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Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 66 | |
| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 2/6/2008 5:44:07 AM | | Basically. You failed the attraction test. He was not as into you as he thought he would be. Move on to the next adventure. Long distance never works, unless you are constantly turning your head the other way when they fool around. | |
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Jet7
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Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 67 | |
| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 2/6/2008 5:45:28 AM | Also, attention everyone:
If someone tells you they are falling in love with you before even meeting RUN the other way!!!! That shows major flaws in their character and sanity. | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 2/6/2008 6:27:18 AM | you actually went and met a guy that sed he luved you and considered you two engaged before you had ever met him?
Crazy stuff. How desperate are you? I would have ran far far far far far far far far far away from that nut case. | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 2/6/2008 6:31:59 AM | OP,
you have to ask?
you either need to hear the most positive things or you ignore the negative or are desperate.
The guy LIED.
For whatever reason, YOU never even questioned this. YOu believed what you wanted to believe and disregarded the rest. ( to quote Mr. Simon )
If you were to read:
1. She falls in love with a guy over the course of several long deep telephone conversations.
2. he professes undying love and devotion.
3. He talks about engagement and "looking at engagement rings "
4. They make like bunnies or get along famously for 9 days.
5. He's never seen again.
6. He's on to the next girl without even looking back.
7. she can't understand what just happened.
Would YOU think that she was a little slow?
There's two people involved in this one: one did the lying and the other did the listening. ( to quote MR. Simpson ) . It is up to you to question the most patently obvious lie.
this sort of thing seems to happen a lot.
The site attracts these predators who are quite smart in finding needy or semi -desperate women.
There is a warning somewhere on here that advices against revealing too much on their profile or becoming overly involved too soon or too quickly with people.
Be careful next time. And look at how you allowed this to happen. The guy may be a jerk but you didn't question anything at all.
A couple of women respondents noted that although the guy was living in a fantasy world ( i think he just our and out lied ) , you certainly were living in a fantasy world as well. He seemed to snap out of it upon meeting you or afterwards. I think that he got what he wanted and is on to the next prey.
To anyone who wrote " sometimes people want or need to live in a fantasy world " as if it were Okay to do so, i disagree wholeheartedly. That is a sign of some nuttiness and/or desperation. | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 2/6/2008 6:35:22 AM | | SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST NUTS. NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS, IF A PERSON CLAIMS HE OR SHE LOVES YOU AFTER ONLY A WEEK AND YOU BOTH DONT SPEND VERY LONG TIME TOGETHER, THAT PERSON CAN FORGET ABOUT YOU AS QUICK AS THEY GOT TO KNOW YOU. REAL LOVE TAKES A LONG TIME TO DEVELOPE. IF HE TRUELY LOVED YOU, HE WOULD NOT HAVE DROPPED YOU SO QUICKLY. HE MUST BE REALLY NUTS, OR JUST WANT TO PLAY GAMES. LOVE IS A WORD THAT WE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO TAKE LIGHTLY. ITS A VERY LOADED WORD. JUST REMEMBER THAT WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND, YOUR A PRETTY WOMAN AND I AM SURE THERE IS A MAN OUT THERE SOMEWHERE WHO BELIEVES IN TRUE LOVE NOT JUST PLAYING AROUND WITH IT. GOODLUCK, AND I HOPE ALL WORKS OUT FOR YOU. | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 2/6/2008 6:59:13 AM | It is hard to believe there are so many gullible people out here. While we all would like to think that most of the people we correspond/communicate with on datelines are essentially as honest as we are, the fact remains their are scammers, con artists, sickos and weirdos, who get their kicks by causing emotional stress and drama in the lives of innocent and well-meaning people.
I hear horror stories every day. The best defense you can use to keep from becoming the subject of one of them is to remember the caveat, "If it seems to good to be true, it probably is." Trust no one and verify, verify, verify. There is nothing wrong in asking a potential date his driver's license and social security numbers so you can do a background check on them. You may not even have to spend the money to perform the check. If he won't give you this information, he is probably someone you don't want to get to know better. | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 2/6/2008 8:00:43 AM |
SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST NUTS. NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS, IF A PERSON CLAIMS HE OR SHE LOVES YOU AFTER ONLY A WEEK AND YOU BOTH DONT SPEND VERY LONG TIME TOGETHER, THAT PERSON CAN FORGET ABOUT YOU AS QUICK AS THEY GOT TO KNOW YOU. REAL LOVE TAKES A LONG TIME TO DEVELOPE. IF HE TRUELY LOVED YOU, HE WOULD NOT HAVE DROPPED YOU SO QUICKLY. HE MUST BE REALLY NUTS, OR JUST WANT TO PLAY GAMES. LOVE IS A WORD THAT WE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO TAKE LIGHTLY. ITS A VERY LOADED WORD. JUST REMEMBER THAT WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND, YOUR A PRETTY WOMAN AND I AM SURE THERE IS A MAN OUT THERE SOMEWHERE WHO BELIEVES IN TRUE LOVE NOT JUST PLAYING AROUND WITH IT. GOODLUCK, AND I HOPE ALL WORKS OUT FOR YOU.
hi michelle,
you may want to take the caps off. I noticed from your other posts that you always use caps so you probably don't mean anything by it.
Maybe it means nothing anymore but once it mean that the person was either :
1. yelling
2. putting emphasis on a part. Not the entire post.
I don't want to offend you or hurt your feelings. Sorry if I did.
The pretty woman comment is interesting. | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 2/6/2008 9:04:32 AM |
To anyone who wrote " sometimes people want or need to live in a fantasy world " as if it were Okay to do so, i disagree wholeheartedly. That is a sign of some nuttiness and/or desperation.
Ah come on, you know what almond joy's commercials used to say, "Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't." | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 2/6/2008 9:21:26 AM | Yes...OP...you sound like you live mostly in fantasy and not reality.
How can a relationship (not involving Prison Love) turn into an "engagement" w/o ever meeting the other person?
You can't lose what you never had...
And you never really had..anything..
Did you? | |
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