| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 2/6/2008 9:22:54 AM | Yes, he saw that cute, blonde, sweet photo you have posted, and he fell in love with "the IDEA he had of you." His imagination put him into a fantasy world. He probably had sex with you many times by looking at your photo on his laptop, while in bed... probably had a blow-up of the image. He probably talked "dirty" to you, while looking at the photo and "jerking" himself off in his bed, without you even knowing it. Well, then you REALLY MET, and guess, what? You didn't act like the fantasy he portrayed. His imaginations of you were EXACTLY THE WAY HE WANTED IT. This is sad. This is part of the addiction of internet dating, and thank-you for this information, because it OPENS OUR EYES into the insights of "getting carried away in our own thoughts, isolated, alone, with no interaction in the real world. This is CYBERWORLD. This feel more and more like a science-fiction movie of the future! | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 2/6/2008 9:44:34 AM |
It happens... I am sorry you are faced with the confusion and hurt.
He imagined a "you" and fell in love with his own fantasy. Meeting the real you didn't live up to the fantasy he had created. He couldn't tell you, likely out of embarrassment, shame... because he'd have to admit what a jerk he was and face hurting you. So, he bailed.
Don't take it personally... just remember in the future, nothing is real until you really meet.
Margot hit this nail right on the head. he fell in love with his perception of you, not who you really are. The moral of the story? NO MORE ONLINE "RELATIONSHIPS". if you find someone you're interested in meeting, set up a meeting within 2 weeks of talking. thats enough time to get a vibe from them but not enough time to start building up a dream boy/girl in your head. if they dont want to meet, move on to the next one.  | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 2/6/2008 10:01:04 AM | | What I find interesting is how does a beautiful blonde with 130 people on her favorite list end up with a guy who dumps her? Now, I'm not saying you had 130 guys after you but surely you had a selection to choose from. What are the odds you'd choose the wrong guy? Hmmmm.......... | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 2/6/2008 10:54:39 AM |
What I find interesting is how does a beautiful blonde with 130 people on her favorite list end up with a guy who dumps her? Now, I'm not saying you had 130 guys after you but surely you had a selection to choose from. What are the odds you'd choose the wrong guy? Hmmmm..........
Why does that have anything to do with choosing? Even meeting someone and falling for them, you can get dumped. I don't know how many favorites I am on, but I know that I am not meeting someone that lives in TX, yes, bowolf, you are adorable, but really, has nothing to do with it. Reality sucks. | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 2/6/2008 11:10:57 AM |
Yes, he saw that cute, blonde, sweet photo you have posted, and he fell in love with "the IDEA he had of you." His imagination put him into a fantasy world. He probably had sex with you many times by looking at your photo on his laptop, while in bed... probably had a blow-up of the image. He probably talked "dirty" to you, while looking at the photo and "jerking" himself off in his bed, without you even knowing it. Well, then you REALLY MET, and guess, what? You didn't act like the fantasy he portrayed. His imaginations of you were EXACTLY THE WAY HE WANTED IT. This is sad. This is part of the addiction of internet dating, and thank-you for this information, because it OPENS OUR EYES into the insights of "getting carried away in our own thoughts, isolated, alone, with no interaction in the real world. This is CYBERWORLD. This feel more and more like a science-fiction movie of the future.
wow...... | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 2/6/2008 11:24:42 AM | Sorry, but you set yourself up for this. Who in their right mind would believe someone is "falling in love" with them, and they haven't even met? He was telling you what he knew you wanted to hear.
A relationship takes time to nurture and flourish. You just don't "fall in love" via emails and phone calls. At least, not most or anyone I know!
Good luck.
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 3/31/2008 10:06:37 PM | I've been in a situation where I was constantly on the phone with a woman before....that in itself doesn't mean one doesn't have a life, it just means that there is enough compatability for the next step of meeting. Anyone who tells me that they truly love me prior to our meeting would most definitely have me concerned!
This guy sounds like he is a troll... a user. | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 4/15/2008 11:07:38 AM | First of all, NEVER fly to meet a guy from the internet. Always make them come to you. It's much safer that way. If they do come to you out of state make sure you only hang with them for a max of three days. Three days should give you enough time to see how they are for the most part in my opinion.
Any guy who is talking about marrying you before even meeting you is possibly clingy and one you want to STAY away from anyways. Trust me on that one.....
He could have very simply have forgotten to take his profile down. | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 4/15/2008 1:04:47 PM | That's not difficult, and I never get why women miss the answer on this one.
To whit: He got what he wanted, and now he is moving on.
End O' Story.
Men are like that. Not all, but the ones who won't tell you up front sex is mandatory are typical POS that can't be real men. They won't step up to the plate, like most women, and say what they really want.
This is the internet, 2.0 Relations. It doesn't get better, but the Force may be with you Young Skywalker. Every dog gets a bone, and everybody has a dog day.
Ladies, men have simply adopted your age old tactical strategy to YOUR game.
You now have to live with the consequences of the monster you created.
You sound like a good gal, keep trying, forget his skank ass, and move on. | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 4/15/2008 1:07:07 PM | OP you've been played. He never meant a single word he said. His parents probably never knew you existed. He played you, woo'ed you and got in your pants. Now that he's gotten that out of his system, he's trolling the waters for another fishy. Engagement rings for someone he hasn't even met yet? WHY would you want someone like that? Fly by night is what that says to me.
Don't invest so much emotion in someone who may not be real. Phone calls? Great. Real life one on one? Better.
If it sounds too good to be true, it usually is. It sounds like he was over the top if you ask me.
Forget about him and move on. | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 4/29/2008 7:01:45 PM | | He apparently changed his mind. People will pretend verses being honest. You weren't so bad to spend time with but odviously his feelings changed after spending time with you. I think you both got wound up in the fantasy. | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 4/29/2008 7:06:05 PM | | He apparently got what he wanted and is still on the hunt for fresh meat. I am coming to Texas soon and I will be happy to help you forget about him if you would like. I checked out your profile and this guy has rocks in his head to be still looking after being with you. | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 4/29/2008 7:08:48 PM | | I would have immediately thought he was nuts and avoided him like the plague. He got what he wanted and now he is on to his next conquest. You cannot love someone you do not even know. He was waaaay full of Sh_t. Can't believe an adult woman would fall for that. | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 4/29/2008 7:19:40 PM | you know when your wanting something bad and you feel it with every bone in your body.. you want it to be true specialy when ther is someone telling you everything you want to hear... you react because everyone is searching for that one person their one companion!!
but mama actions do speak louder then words and you cant trust or believe or follow your heart untill you meet the person and make sure that the feelings are the same with their Actions! He did play you he got what he wanted now hes moving on tothe next girl because hes got this since of PIMP rolling around in his brain.. It sucks but you gotta move on darlin! | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 4/29/2008 7:48:01 PM | I guess it goes to show us all that if it is too good to be true.. it IS too good to be true.
I think Margo got it right.. and I have run into guys like this before.. run away fantasy guys.. and when they meet you and spend time with you it isn't that they find you revolting or anything it is just reality comes home to roost.. and they either can't or don't have a desire to go from imagination to reality. So I guess it is easier to move on and find someone else.
I just had a guy who I had high hopes of seeing on a regular basis move on and fail to tell me hahaha.. Basically I think that it was easier for him to find someone closer to himself (I was like 45 miles away) and with his high stress life I don't much blame him. I feel sorry for him though cuz I am a hell of a woman.. oh well you snooze you loose right?
So I think lots of guys are into fantasy relationships.. or in for the excitement and thrill of it.. and that isn't hard to understand cuz so many people are hurting.. And I don't think they do this o purpose I think they slip into something.. and get carried away.. and then reality sets in .. and they sorta just move on..
It sux but it is what it is.. | |
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| Help Me Understand What Happened
Posted: 4/30/2008 11:27:04 AM | | i am sure you gave him sex in those days or you must have a flow he doesnt like.who buys engagement ring for somebody they never met in person.get away from him he sounds like a cook. | |
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