| A nightowl living with a morning person....
Posted: 1/9/2008 2:17:44 AM | | OP, that sounds like a really stupid reason to ruin your relationship. Do you need to have your own way all the time? Are you too selfish to let your po man get some sleep? Why don't you try having a serious conversation with him and with a little love you can work it out. That's how most people solve their problems! What is your problem lady? | |
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Guess
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Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 27 | |
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| A nightowl living with a morning person....
Posted: 2/22/2008 6:10:20 PM | ime, can a very big problem.
My ex-wife and her family, my in-laws, could all sleep to 9 AM or later on holidays in our little holiday house. I was up a 6AM, walked 2 miles into town to find a paper, coffee, read for 3 hours, then walk back with croissants, pain au chocolat, etc for their breakfast. I still got complaints about them hearing me leave a 6 AM.
The other problem is one going to bed an hour or 2 earlier than the other, and taking it personally when one don't retire at same time.
Synchronizing sleeping time is key point to negotiate if you can't really solve it. | |
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| A nightowl living with a morning person....
Posted: 2/22/2008 6:13:54 PM | | OP.....I think it is absolutely necessary to be in sync with eachother......night person with night person....morning with morning....you need to like to watch the same types of TV shows.....be able to do what you love to do in your home harmoniously.....enjoy being together comfortably....If your mate likes living in a cluttered home and you do not.....forget it ....it will never work !!!!...Neither one can change...nor should they....I truly believe that making a happy cave....is the key to a happy relationship !! | |
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| A nightowl living with a morning person....
Posted: 2/22/2008 6:14:18 PM | | A morning person who needs to go to work doesnt need a night person keeping them awake all night. This is not just rude but dangerous too if they have to drive to work. | |
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Guess
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Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 31 | |
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| A nightowl living with a morning person....
Posted: 2/22/2008 6:38:26 PM | | when i lived with my ex husband bedtime was strictly quarter past ten, if i went to bed and he stayed down later that was ok but i was never allowed to stay down longer. been on my own almost 21 months and divorced since last september it is fabulous to go to bed when i want | |
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| A nightowl living with a morning person....
Posted: 2/22/2008 6:45:04 PM | Thanks... guess......I KNOW I'm right ...on this one.............been there.. done that........And I can't stress it enough....
It's like giving up a piece of your soul.....never again..... | |
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| A nightowl living with a morning person....
Posted: 2/22/2008 6:53:58 PM | | Interesting...perhaps a form of my former married relationship...I traveled on business...not the same thing but still gives space, either by time or absence..can be turned to an advantage as long as each of you can make the effort on occasion to accommodate one another...weekends come to mind. | |
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JRydel
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Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 35 | |
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| A nightowl living with a morning person....
Posted: 2/23/2008 6:57:02 AM | | That's another reason why my ex and I didn't last - I was a night owl and she was a morning person. We both worked second shift at our jobs, but after work she liked to come home and go to sleep while I liked to stay up for awhile and be intimate. | |
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| A nightowl living with a morning person....
Posted: 2/23/2008 7:08:56 AM | But is this really a valid reason for breaking up? Aren't we supposed to celebrate our differences (as long as we're not too different). Sounds to me like a case of a right howler and a moaning person.
Sorry, not enough sleep last night. Can't make up my tired mind which of the two I am. | |
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| A nightowl living with a morning person....
Posted: 2/23/2008 7:55:59 AM | | i have done it and it was hard...my best friend does this with her boyfriend as well...they are great together and both make sacrafises with sleep patterns to make it fair...she works days and he works nights for the most part...he will wake up earily and drink a lot of coffee so they have time together...she will stay up late to spend time with him even if it means she will need a nap when she gets home from work...depends on the people involved and what there willing to do to make it work...me and my ex didn't break up because of the schedule differences..but it was harder to go out together cause we both knew we needed to stick to the schedules we were on to make a living...even my parents did this...after i was born my mother switched to night shift and my father stayed on day shift..they took turns taking care of me and enjoyed the time they did have together...there still married and this summer going on 32 years of marriage...my mother was always tired but didn't care as long as i was happy thats all that mattered to them...very rarely did i have a babysitter because of this... | |
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| A nightowl living with a morning person....
Posted: 2/23/2008 8:04:11 AM | I think as long as the night owl will respect that the morning person is trying to sleep, and the morning person is QUIET in the morning it is a non issue. Adults should be able to compromise and accept each others body clocks. I get by on 5 hours a day or less and I always have. I can stay up to midnight and get up at 5am with no problem. But my I am usually doing work or reading late at night.
But if the night owl is expecting a partner to party with them till the wee hours then it is not going to work. | |
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| A nightowl living with a morning person....
Posted: 2/23/2008 8:41:55 AM | | I agree that it can be a big issue, but I also agree with carolann0308 as well. It's something that can be worked on. If you can't work through something like that, you are goign to have problems working through bigger issues. | |
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| A nightowl living with a morning person....
Posted: 2/23/2008 9:37:13 AM | | I think it could work if you each learn to be respectful of each other. I am neither a night owl or a morning person; meaning that I don't like to stay out late, nor does my brain function for the first two hours after I wake up. | |
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| A nightowl living with a morning person....
Posted: 2/23/2008 11:19:02 AM | IMO, I really can't see this as a problem unless it involved shift work, which would have impacts on lifestyle, shared free time together, a shared social life, and more importantly around the responsibilities children etc. What’s the real impact of only a few hours on either end of the traditional night owl’s or morning person’s day?
I’m not currently in a relationship but as I recall (always having been a ‘morning person’), I was usually up at 5:00 and at the gym at 5:30 fairly often. If I need a few groceries I’d have time get those done too . Once home, my then ‘night owl’ mate had usually fed our kids, and was finishing his shower in preparation for work. Sure he was up later than me some nights, but we still lived our life on the same basic schedule--we both had jobs that required a 9:00 a.m. start. We were also both people who needed some time to do our own thing, and this was usually hard to find in our blended family. | |
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| A nightowl living with a morning person....
Posted: 2/23/2008 11:49:38 AM | | There is another term "aritmic person" it has nothing to do with heart conditions as many may think. There a bunhc pf people like that and they can adjust to either schedule. As a result even if only one person in a couple an aritmic one he/she may adjust over time to be either a morning person or a night person. | |
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Kazoom
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Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 45 | |
| A nightowl living with a morning person....
Posted: 2/23/2008 2:51:28 PM | | "A nightowl living with a morning person", this can be a good thing not having to share the bed at the same time if one of the partners is a godzilla in bed. I started working nights just so I could get some sleep. | |
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| A nightowl living with a morning person....
Posted: 2/23/2008 3:29:50 PM | | Im a total night owl but have been with people who are not. For me I simply had to change my bodyclock. A relationship will never work if your out of sync! I have a few sleepless nights and then I manage to turn my self around eventually. Past couple of weeks Ive been up till 6am and then slept all day, then met someone and they wanted to meet when Id normally be asleep! So ive had to change it and have to change it anyway really, I mean shops are normaly closed when im ready to shop and thats no good at all! | |
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| A nightowl living with a morning person....
Posted: 2/23/2008 3:36:39 PM | | Oh and i forgot to say if I have a partner who needs less or more sleep than me thats fine. I had an ex who used to get up at 5am every morning and thats just not me. It wasnt a reason we split by the way but he totally respected me not getting up till 8ish and he's do a few jobs and get breakfast ready, get a paper and enjoy his peace for a few hours. Even if we didnt get up at same time Id still be ready for bed usually when he was cos I just needed a bit more sleep than him but if I wasnt tired or watching something on the tv he wouldnt force me to bed. That is selfish in the same way as me making someone stay up with me. There has to be compromise and if there isnt any then I can understand why a relationship falls apart. I couldnt have lived to my ex's schedule anymore than he could live wit mine but we did have good communication on this issue. | |
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| A nightowl living with a morning person....
Posted: 2/23/2008 3:51:15 PM | I knew a couple where she was a night owl and he was a morning person. They had business at home and most of their days spent around the house. He was getting up at 6am, while she barely around 9. At 10 pm he was sound asleep while she was up often till 1 am. Because of their different sleeping patterns they had considerable amount of time for themselves - so much needed privacy in their relationship; it worked for them perfectly and gave them time apart from each other despite being almost all the time in the same house.
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| A nightowl living with a morning person....
Posted: 2/26/2008 1:20:22 AM | | I am a naturally nocturnal person, which is the main reason why I post so often here. It drove my ex nuts. But then again, everything drove her nuts. She hit me one time because she did not like the way I combed my hair. But I digress. Excuse me. | |
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