| Please give me your take on this.. Am I wrong for ending it?
Posted: 1/8/2008 8:21:47 PM | I guess he was little put off by your romantic jesture, but given its nature, you'll likely come across someone who appreciates the finer gifts you choose to endow.
Is it possible that you were a little too into the third party?
No matter how you slice it, someone who loves you should be respectful enough to provide you with closure.
Go open another door. | |
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| Please give me your take on this.. Am I wrong for ending it?
Posted: 1/8/2008 10:52:16 PM | Get over yourself SassyGurl.... maybe even slap the back of your hand or something. Shoot, I will do it for you.
Please please please.... read what you wrote, my friend.
Birthday surprise from your heart.... not good enough.... wanted a 3 way.... not returning phone calls... surfing for chicks..... redone profile....
I bet you a dollar you can add liar on that list too.... you caught him fair and square with a redone profile. That is enough.
I really would not blame you if you stuck bananas up his tail pipe, either one of them.
P.S. - I would say that I am sorry for your loss but you didn't lose anything worth having in the first place. Now, where was the nice guy you blew off before mr.jerk? | |
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| Please give me your take on this.. Am I wrong for ending it?
Posted: 1/9/2008 12:49:35 AM | Hahah Parry is a goof! "Since this thread was clearly started so " wayward- 3 some dude" will read it, I'mnow waiting with baited breath for him to come and tell "his side"
......should be fun!....(get the popcorn ""
Great idea, invite the ex here to tell his side of the story. | |
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| Please give me your take on this.. Am I wrong for ending it?
Posted: 1/9/2008 12:56:36 AM | Op,
I believe your actions justified how you felt for him, as well as his did for him...
Some men seem to be confused at times hense they say they are in love and then not call and ignore... so as you can see ACTIONS speak louder than words...
" His answer to my email was That he was offended that I was checking on him and that he was looking but not meeting anyone"---LOL!!! Gee why would he look if he though that he was in love and you were his gf and he trully wanted to make it work with you...
You were honest...why enter a relationship under false pretenses... appearently he doesn't see anything wrong with that....
Good luck in the future... at least you know that he sure as hell is not the one for you...
Think of it positively... One less that you have to think :hmm I wonder if he could be the one...
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| Please give me your take on this.. Am I wrong for ending it?
Posted: 1/9/2008 1:04:13 AM | OP as you knew he wanted a 3sum had he hinted before his 'romantic' birthday you arranged? possibly hoping you would take the hint?
he then dumps you/vanishes cos you came on too strong, rather than playful (ffm).
no loss really, but i think you will have him back and provide his fantasy as you've posted on here thats not the problem , he will read it no doubt.......
will still end in tears....... IMO
walk away and keep walking | |
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| Please give me your take on this.. Am I wrong for ending it?
Posted: 1/9/2008 1:06:33 AM | You did the right thing OP.....I guess sh*t like this happens.
IMO....if this wasn't discussed and agreed by both of you....it's not happening.
I agree with the poster who said that he got caught out....and wants to swing it around and make himself the victim.
Pfffft.....kick his ar*e to the curb.
Good | |
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| Please give me your take on this.. Am I wrong for ending it?
Posted: 1/9/2008 3:28:16 AM | You absolutely did the right thing. This is a classic case of a person, in this case, your man, thinking the grass is greener on the other side. Trouble is, it still needs cutting.
Good luck, i'm sure you'll find "The One"
Babs | |
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| Please give me your take on this.. Am I wrong for ending it?
Posted: 1/9/2008 3:48:41 AM | No offence - But wake up-He was after a sexual encounter-one he thought you would provide, and true love- come on.......
You have to ask yourself why he was expecting a threesome from you in particular....
Men are not quite the romatics we expect them to be, and you seem to have a made a huge error of judgement, HUGE- you must try to analyse how you have confused this slime bag for your true love so you don't repeat the mistake......
Don't be a victim or you will make this mistake again, look at the situation truly and you may find the signs of his in sincerity were probably tatooed on his head, but you misled yourself out of lonliness and the need to find love......
In ten weeks, I wouldnt have been so close to have bothered with his birthday, let alone be intimate, love is in no hurry......
It's internet dating don't throw caution to the wind, take a chance sure, but don't jump off cliffs without a paruchute.
I feel for you genuinley and admit in my teens and early twenties they may have put it over me too, but not any more.
The guy was a shallow man, and you need to see that and go about things in much more cautious manner......
Not believe everything a man tells you | |
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| Please give me your take on this.. Am I wrong for ending it?
Posted: 1/9/2008 3:56:06 AM | Sassygurl, i think if your delightful , charming ex is 0n here, you should NAME AND SHAME!!
As unfortunate as your encounter was, you have the chance to prevent it happening again, to another un suspecting female
You know you did the right thing, i hope you find someone worthy of your attention. | |
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| Please give me your take on this.. Am I wrong for ending it?
Posted: 1/9/2008 4:22:18 AM | Hi again, I just read your profile and I thought you were older because your photo was so small, I haven't meant to be hard at all just realistic as I am nearly 45 and have younger girlfriends who make this mistake all the time and I wonder how the hell you can flal in love so many times in such a short period of life
Excuse I am a cynic and can confess to only one real love experience don't expect to find true love jsut comfort and caring and respect
I do know men and the whole true love thing will probably have them running for the hills, it screams of life long and death do us part stuff
your past is a good indication of your future if you don't change things for yourself you say X's not X and you have now added this one to the list.
True love is not about romance or sex or any of the things your talking about, and it will probably take you unitll all your precious children are grown and you have had time to discover yourself alot better.
I think the best advice is perhaps your too fresh and inmature in the heart to be doing this and you may be better to discover yourself spitiually in art class or an acticity where you can build a friendship and learn to love someone short or tall..
the universe works in mysterious ways and perhaps your true love is really short and a cowboy and not a caucasion or hispanic after all, you have already put criteria on love and that can't be so.....
you may even need to learn to love perhaps....... Do you really know what was missing in the last relationships, obviously love, mature love
your a mother and that is true love, when you love aman as much as your children their will be no X, you dont have X children, love doens't simply stop.......
You will surrender to love and have to over look all the faults and the problems and learn not to react and accept and to bare...
True love is always Tragic, so stop with the fairy tales and accept the truth that being a single mum is lonely and you need to be fullfilled, but it is a road you are on and one that will be long and suffering if you don't wake up to the facts of life and learn to be patient expect your true love to be filled with faults annoying and frustrating, and not normally the best looking guy on the block either, but he has to put up with you also,
It is a two way street and so many of you want to find someone to walk down a one way street going your way and that is not going to work........
That guy was shallow, but without knowing it and without insulting you, haven't you been a little shallow where True love is concerned also......
you cant' afford to be knieve with so many children to protect and you need to teach them about love, talk to people who have spent their lives with one true love, they will tell you it isn;'t as easy as you think.
If its true love you seek then first find out what it is, alot of men are walking around with broken hearts already or just are not that deep, men will tell you their lower body part will sometimes say jsut about anything to get satisfaction and you have to protect yourself, Hold off and slow right down, talk to men yoru not dating and get their real advice
you have done the right thing asking th equestions , I hope you appreciate sincerly the answers. | |
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| Please give me your take on this.. Am I wrong for ending it?
Posted: 1/9/2008 5:09:34 AM | you never said there was anything wrong with a threesome and it was supposed to be a romantic jesture ????????
( post 35)
ah ha...
well then.. the truth comes out. You promised him something for his birthday and then didn't give it to him !!!
is that really how it was?.. because your original story makes no sense.
For all you know he could have rented a swanky hotel room.. ordered 12 dozen roses for thre room, bought 3 bottles of expensive wine, 3 boxes of cake, 3 bottles of lube and was all set to go... then you didn't follow through with the birthday plan.
To be honest, this story you told us has a big hole as to why he would be thinking he'd be getting a threesome on his birthday and whats missing may be the part of you telling him thats what you were going to do for him, which may have disappointed him.
I feel he is the one who ended it because for all we know, with this new information you gave us in post 35... you could have just been leading him on
so
you could
obtain expensive
gifts
from him.
would be intersting to hear his side of this story as there are 2 sides and yours has a big hole in it. seems to me the actual arguement was over WHO was going to bring the other girl.
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| Please give me your take on this.. Am I wrong for ending it?
Posted: 1/9/2008 7:01:11 AM | My guess is he's a Seiinfeld fan. That very situation was an episode where George wanted to dump his girlfriend. He needed a way to get her to do the dirty work , so he brought up the 3-some thing, expecting her to be horrifed and bail.
Instead she was up for it , and found a willing friend.
At which point George had to do some fast thinking and bail himself.
Life does imitate art, quite often. | |
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| Please give me your take on this.. Am I wrong for ending it?
Posted: 1/9/2008 8:15:03 AM | No...you are definately not wrong in ending this...you, and everyone else deserve so much better!! I just went through a similar situation with a guy...i also met him on POF and had been talking with him here, and on the phone for about 3 months, and he talked to me every day, and one night we had an argument, and i went and looked at his myspace page, which i really do not know why i did not go there sooner, but to my suprise, there was a woman there, leaving comments like; "See ya this weekend" and "love ya" and that sort of stuff, so i wrote to her, and told her that he had been talking to me, and she was really hurt, as he had not been honest with her either, and she had been traveling to see him for seven months, every weekend, and thought that they were a couple!! Well, now her and i are friends, and she is a wonderful woman, and he has nobody!! Just remember, that people can only do to us, what we allow them too, so always stand up for yourself, and being alone and lonely, is always better than being in a relationship, and feeling lonely!!
You go girl...you will do better, if you want better, don't ever settle for less than you deserve!!
Cheers!! | |
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| Please give me your take on this.. Am I wrong for ending it?
Posted: 1/10/2008 7:23:56 AM | You are well rid of him because outside the potential that he will cheat on you, he shows lack of character by refusing to accept responsibility for his behavior and blaming everything on you. He wants everything on his terms and I assume you are unwilling to live with that, as would any normal human being.
You are right about the hell and high water thing; if he cared you would see an effort to right the problem but instead he thinks he can blame you and you'll forget his part in things. Kudos to you for breaking it off now rather than accepting his lame excuses for his bad behavior.
I guess I need to reread the thread now but I imagine if comments were made about the threesome, it was probably in jest and not something she was ready to do at this point in the relationship. Even if he rented the Taj Mahal, he should have discovered whether she was serious. And the whole threesome angle makes this a why do you want this dude anyway thread.
Wow, after rereading the OP's reposts, there is a huge amount of speculation about this twit and his three-some. Bottom line, WizeChicklet was right, you caught him doing something wrong so he turns it on you that you were doing something wrong in catching him. I pulled the same sh*t on my mother in high school. She fell for it, you didn't. | |
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| Please give me your take on this.. Am I wrong for ending it?
Posted: 1/10/2008 7:31:15 AM | | I agree that he would have been history after he commented on his dissapointment on bday. I would have to ask the question that most have asked though, why keep calling him? When a guy doesnt call or return calls, its because he is done. When we continue to call, begging for them to talk to us, its a show of weakness and desperation...I think he just wasnt that into you.....So sorry for your experience. | |
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| Please give me your take on this.. Am I wrong for ending it?
Posted: 1/10/2008 7:50:29 AM | op, i don't think you're wrong for ending the relationship on your part. you mentioned about a 3some for his birthday, was it talked about previous to his big day? how often have you and he talked about 3somes? if it was never brought up before then it's pretty much his escape hatch. bring up something that she's not interested in and she'll back off...as he would think. he's not returning your calls only because he lost interest in you or maybe never was. i'm sorry but maybe he played you in hopes that he would use you as the 3rd person for his 3some. you are aware that some people that never experienced things like that tend to back off. it's up to the person that they're with to try to persuade them into getting what they want. then he blames you for checking up on him with noticing his profile change and updated pics, if he was really interested in you then he would have hid his profile as well and not be logging in on a daily basis let alone from time to time. sure, women keep their profiles hidden or sometimes where it's seen but change their settings as well since some women like to talk to their female friends.
some women hear the phrase "i'm falling in love with you" and feel as if they're ready to take the next step. like i said above, men have to persuade the woman that they're with to coax them into getting what they want. it's the other way around with women including another man in a 3some.
my opinion, you never really had this guy from day 1, sounds to me like he was just playing you. my word of advise is to just walk away from him, forget about how you felt about him and what you've done. eventually you would meet a guy that means what he says when he says "i'm falling in love with you". just relax and keep an eye out for guys like that...the players that is. | |
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| Please give me your take on this.. Am I wrong for ending it?
Posted: 1/10/2008 8:44:47 AM | | No doubt this guy was an absolute cretin, and I genuinely sympathize with your anger and frustration OP. Regardless of what happened with his birthday and what not, with the litany of excuses he rolled out and then trying to blame it all on you, well, he likely never really had much in the way of feelings for you. That's his bad, and hopefully next time you find someone more deserving of your affections. But come on, you already know damn right well you did the right thing by dumping this loser, don't you? Hell, I can even understand the urge to torch him for the loser he so clearly is, but wanting and doing are two different things. You obviously posted this thread with a sense of vindication, knowing full well he will almost certainly happen upon your posting. Do you think someone like that will honestly feel bad to see himself cast this way in such a public light? Not at all, he'll just move on to the next well-intentioned and trusting person. He's a creep, and I'm sorry he hurt you; just chalk it up to experience and move on. And remember, the opposite of love isn't hate; its indifference. | |
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oshan
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Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 71 | |
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| Please give me your take on this.. Am I wrong for ending it?
Posted: 1/10/2008 9:07:10 AM | No completly in the right, coming from another guy, you were just his tag along, his "good time for now" kind of thing. And ten weeks into a relationship in my book you could have some pretty strong feelings, but love?? I dont know about that. Im not ruling out the possibility of that ever happening but i guess if i loved someone i would try to put everything i could into and my profile wouldnt have even been on here any more. Well good luck with that
A friend | |
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| Please give me your take on this.. Am I wrong for ending it?
Posted: 1/10/2008 9:52:59 AM | | He backed off and stopped being responsive. H E L L O. Just one of many red flags. I liked what msg 6 said about intentional sabotage. It's done often than you think. The only mistake you made was not quitting sooner. | |
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