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| The one thing that breaks the deal in forming a relationship
Posted: 1/10/2008 12:36:02 AM | First, I'll say that I can't stand the term "breaking the deal" or "deal breakers." Romantic relationships aren't a deal. Anyway, here are my non-negotiables:
1. infidelity
2. once the man and the woman are "an item," flirting with other women or exchanging contact info with other women
3. poor hygiene (looking unkept, smelling, yellow or brown teeth, dirty or smelly clothes, etc.)
4. has cats and/or dogs (I'm allergic)
5. smoking (although if it's light smoking it might be OK, but the guy better have a heck of a lot of great attributes to counterbalance that!)
Those are my top no-nos. | |
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| The one thing that breaks the deal in forming a relationship
Posted: 1/10/2008 10:13:37 AM | people who do not speak correct english. I can't even talk the way these people talk:
Why you ain't,
W here you is,
What he drive,
Where he stay,
Where he work,
Who you be...
Everybody knows it's important to speak English except these knuckleheads. You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth.
In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living. People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education, and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around.
The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal. These people are not parenting. | |
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| The one thing that breaks the deal in forming a relationship
Posted: 1/10/2008 10:26:03 AM | OMG-hairy body is a definite, defiinite, definite! COME ON!
And yes of course, bad hygiene (goes without saying), messed up grill and bad kissing.
But one that I haven't seen anyone post yet is: CONCEITEDNESS!
~Tracy~ | |
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| The one thing that breaks the deal in forming a relationship
Posted: 1/10/2008 1:17:17 PM | I don't believe a love relationship can be bartered or negotiated for. It's not a commodity. That's not to say that there isn't a lot of compromise and both of the above involved in the day to day life of being in one.
The only dealbreaker situation I could think of in my previous post was one where I was trying to develop a more friendly basis with a former client because I'd originally told her I didn't do that type of work except for friends in need.
And even then it was presumed they'd do their own nine times out of ten and stop relying on me if I could help them through a rough patch or I needed a bit of extra cash.
Then again, perhaps I'm taking the word 'deal' too literally. | |
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| The one thing that breaks the deal in forming a relationship
Posted: 1/10/2008 5:07:31 PM | Voodle,
Many of the traits I listed as deal breakers are mainly just a matter of immaturity. Like you said, if the person can't even discuss the issues reasonably, it will have a negative effect on the relationship. If the person cannot even see that he has a problem, there is not much hope. I have also had to work with people with these traits in the workplace, but why should I settle for someone with traits that have the potential to damage or even ruin a relationship and who does not recognize them as such?
Of course, if the person is willing to work on the negative traits and really wants to improve and become a better person, then I am willing to see where it goes and help if my help is asked for. The first step in making improvements in yourself is to admit that you have a problem. None of us is perfect, and I see in myself some things I want to improve and work on doing that. Not everyone will be able to take a step back and look at themselves objectively though. That takes some maturity it seems.
However, like you said in your last paragraph, if there is no growth in the relationship, and the other person refuses to deal with the issues, then that also signals the end of the relationship for me too. I believe in giving 100% to the relationship and the other person. I will also do everything in my power to help the relationship grow. That includes discussing any issue that is important to my partner or myself. If the other person sees something in me that he thinks is not good for the relationship, I have no problem discussing it because I want what is best for the relationship for both of us. I believe having open communication is a key to growth in a relationship. If the other person refuses to contribute or make an effort in the relationship, there isn't much you can do. When two people are commited to each other, they should be willing to work on issues that can damage the relationship and not get defensive or make excuses about them. | |
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| The one thing that breaks the deal in forming a relationship
Posted: 1/10/2008 7:18:15 PM | | I am sure the list is pretty long on this string but maybe the real question is what makes the deal in forming a relationship. Mine... that first instance of real, gut-busting laughter. It might not be a love match but sure enough it would be some sort of relationship. | |
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| The one thing that breaks the deal in forming a relationship
Posted: 1/10/2008 7:51:37 PM | Well I can think of more than one & it goes something like this:
-Arrogance
-Sacrasm
-Rudeness
-Meaness
-Full of themselves
-Those that feel they know it all
-Dishonesty
-Cheaters
-Not trustworthy
-Drunks, especially bad Drunks
-Those that want to preach to you on everything (because they know it all)
Being negative (about everything)
-When all the want to talk about is sex (especially when you are barely starting to take to them, what happened to get to know a person for who they are first?)
-Being cheap
-Bad hygiene
-Judgemental & prejudice people
-Abusive
Well those are a few & I'm sure allot of you out there can relate! | |
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| The one thing that breaks the deal in forming a relationship
Posted: 1/25/2008 8:58:52 PM | swearing like a sailor
talking about woman's private parts and what he is gonna do with it...sexual harrasment
exhibitionist...taking off his pants and flashing
no respect for women
argumentative loud man
expect to live off women's...moocher
have countless sexual partners
STD/HPV
road rage and middle finger pointing when he is the one who is impatience
take people parking spot, have no respect for other's people property
irresponsible
cheater
lot more................
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