| has anyone tried this?
Posted: 1/8/2008 10:03:30 AM | OP, I imagine a fair number of women would object to this and not want to see you again. As it would take you some considerable time to do the, err, rounds, I imagine a few more women will interpret your "meet and disappear" as a lack of interest. "I'll get back to you... as long as I don't find anything better"
... doubt it will work out as you plan. | |
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| has anyone tried this?
Posted: 1/8/2008 10:04:51 AM |
what kind of emails do I send?
I don't know why I'm going to help you with this, but I will. At 42 you should know this already.
Hi there my name is @@@@@ I noticed your profile on pof and just had to drop you a line. Your pic's caught my eye, but your bio caught my mind.
You appear to be one of about 60 women that are with in a 3 mile radius from me so you have been picked to enter a drawing for a predate interview to see if you qualify for a real date!
To further your chances of actually getting the real date with me, you should be ready at all times to show me that you are up to my standards. I may qualify or disqualify you at any time during the predate interview. Right now you are # 32, if you are interested.
Hope to meet you soon.@@@@@@
Honesty always works for me...
~Belly~ | |
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| has anyone tried this?
Posted: 1/8/2008 11:48:41 AM | Belly:
Personally, I don't believe your post is "helpful" at all. If, in fact, it is not tongue in cheek, (which I have no way of knowing), I found it disrespectful, mocking, sarcastic, and, hurtful, to someone who has asked an honest question. I have to question how honest you are actually being, even though you say so.
Obviously there are as many different results to expect in regard to ones approach at online dating. This is a dating site....I understand the purpose is for us to meet as many people as possible, specifically so that we can narrow down the most compatible ones for ourselves.
Speaking for myself, only.....I can eliminate many at the meet and greet. This usually deals with untruths they have told me online, or pictures which do not portray themselves as they actually are....their interests, even their capability of handling a full-time, serious relationship, due to work, family or other commitments which seriously cut into their available time to even get to know me. (This often happens with gentlemen who are not yet retired, or who are custodial parent to an offspring in the household.)
This does not make them "bad" people...simply people "not for me." All the men whom I meet, know that I have other "Meet and Greets" planned. They know that I am not planning a relationship until I get to know someone. They ALSO know that I am not going to jump in bed with them, have a roll in the hay, or play. (This usually deters the players and they jump off the bandwagon right in the beginning. See some of my forums). To me, it is a long, interesting project....one that I happen to think is VERY worthwhile.
At MY age, it will take too long to accomplish all this ONE AT A TIME, so, I'm also being practical. However, you can be sure that if, at the Meet and Greet, I feel enough connection to sincerely want to know the man better, I will let him know. I certainly don't expect him to sit around waiting til I make any decisions. It's a two way street, and if he wants to take me out again, I will gladly plan a date with him.
These are MY thoughts. I do not attempt to judge the thoughts of others....but, I might suggest you stop for a moment and think about the odds for the most optimum results with the least disappointment, regarding your method of search.
Sincerely,
Knittin Kitten | |
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| has anyone tried this?
Posted: 1/8/2008 11:57:05 AM | I don't get it?
Is this a job interview process, or a method of finding love? | |
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Posted: 1/8/2008 12:09:44 PM | Personally, I don't believe your post is "helpful" at all. If, in fact, it is not tongue in cheek, (which I have no way of knowing), I found it disrespectful, mocking, sarcastic, and, hurtful, to someone who has asked an honest question. I have to question how honest you are actually being, even though you say so.
I did nothing more then put the truth of what the opie was asking in to a mail form.
I did it the way I did it to show how off the wall this situation is.
It put the honesty of the matter in to written form. Does it sound offencive? I think it does.. So that is exactly why I did it. Well not to mention a laugh or two.
How would you feel about a blanket approach to being asked out? Sound good to you?
Well it doesn't to me. Very meaningless and with out thought. Sorry but thats just the way it is!!!!
Not everyone will want to do the Belly dance to every reply I post. But I'll live.
It's my music and my dance......Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
~Belly~
P.s. while I have you on the line....would you like # 56 it's still available? | |
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| has anyone tried this?
Posted: 1/8/2008 12:32:02 PM | I'm perplexed here.
I thought it would be a good idea to try to meet every woman in a 3 mile radius from my home who is attractive, who will meet me and meet them in person.
Aside from the 3 mile radius, isn't this what most everyone is doing?
I feel this would have the benefit of more factual information about them than a profile as well as a better test of chemistry than using the computer to assess chemistry.
Again, isn't this the normal process?
Has anyone tried to do this? I am talking about just meeting for coffee
This is probably 95% of the first "dates"
maybe one a day for a few months before picking one or two or three to see again.
What makes you think any or all of these "attractive" women would still be available once you'd decided they'd made the cut? Not to mention how many would wait...
After meeting all the women in the 3 mile radius......... ( about 60 or so)... I can
select a few to get to know better and eliminate them as incompatibility is proven in face to face meetings.
Again, the usual course of events with dating.
Seems like a logical way to use a dating site. What do you think?
I think you have no idea what you're doing. But you keep us informed on the progress of your "experiment". | |
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Posted: 1/8/2008 12:35:40 PM | most women don't like "logical ways"
so your approach goes wrong here at start | |
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Posted: 1/8/2008 12:37:15 PM |
Hi there my name is @@@@@ I noticed your profile on pof and just had to drop you a line. Your pic's caught my eye, but your bio caught my mind.
You appear to be one of about 60 women that are with in a 3 mile radius from me so you have been picked to enter a drawing for a predate interview to see if you qualify for a real date!
.
Belly, this is hilarious. I personally think it won't work. First is too long. Second it does not start a conversation, it simply makes a statement. Third, and this I've noticed with internet women, they hate it when you are part of a list. However, this one line is awesome, almost worth sending it by itself, (to just a couple of ladies to test)
To further your chances of actually getting the real date with me, you should be ready at all times to show me that you are up to my standards. I may qualify or disqualify you at any time during the predate interview. Right now you are # 32, if you are interested
I like that attitude!! Just awesome. | |
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| has anyone tried this?
Posted: 1/8/2008 12:44:57 PM |
In other words, you're blanketing your area so you'll up your odds? I thought men always did this, I didn't think it was a new concept. I get enough cut and pastes that I figured it was a given.
I never have done this and it doesnt work. The reason you are on tis site is to meet matches. I ould concider moving to meet my match oif she was the match. Right now I just want to date and have fun. But I still wont blanket an area. If she isnt a match she isnt a match ...even for sex. | |
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Posted: 1/8/2008 12:46:32 PM | Sounds like the Walmart of dating. Quantity over quality.
I wouldn't be available to you a few months later. In fact, I doubt I'd be interested in meeting you at all. | |
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Posted: 1/8/2008 12:55:51 PM | your method is fine - I'd only make one change.
Instead of scheduling in 60 coffee dates and then picking 3 to call back, just call the interesting ones as you meet them, whether its 3 or 15, the numbers will continue to dwindle regardless. No woman is going to be interested 3 months later when you've had time to meet the whole pack and chosen her. Nor is there any guarantee that you won't find her terribly unappealing after a second or third date. | |
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Posted: 1/8/2008 1:00:30 PM | Dude, it sounds like youve got it figured out! I really think youre on to something, why didnt I think of that? Be sure to take individual pics and record specific details. The last thing youd want to do is get 2 of the 60 mixed up. Maybe you could give them a questionaire to streamline the process, then you could date 2 or 3 a day.  | |
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Posted: 1/8/2008 5:25:29 PM | As long as you're not leading anyone on then I think it's a practical way to analyze your target market.
Tried doing something similar when I was single with no kids living at home because my kids are a little over ten years apart. That was pre-internet and I was using the companions section of the newspaper.
I was also working full-time and found the whole thing tiring. I really didn't have the emotional energy to devote to it all and stopped after about 7 or 8 dates.
Then again, I wasn't prepared with good questions to ask these potential dates or any of the other things a person would do if they were trying to borrow a page from finding a job for example. | |
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Posted: 1/8/2008 5:50:34 PM | geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!
one a day huh?! 60 days 60 dates.....thats a movie i wanna watch!!
id b pissed if you lived near me! lol
go for it! knock yourself out! keep us posted....hehe
p.s. it would be really nice of you if you were to share whatever personal notes you get down on your notebook!
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Posted: 1/8/2008 8:00:53 PM |
so you women would not be insulted a guy is meeting many other women and not focusing on you?
They shouldn’t be in the context of what you were talking about in the OP, though you might want to keep the number of ones you are "meeting" down to a handful. If you would actually have to keep a notebook and write it down then there are probably too many to keep track off at one time.
It would be a different story of someone were juggling many different “relationships”. If one is just dating that is what it is dating and no one should get in a snit about that. | |
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Posted: 1/9/2008 12:44:39 AM | I would do the same thing (only i'd meet men) but i dont find many people attractive.
I guess I could get a lot of free dinners...
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Posted: 1/9/2008 1:02:21 AM | Heck, they do it on the TV show the "Bachelor" ... why not ! 
I don't think he keeps a notebook, though ... 
What ??? no roses, no trips to Paris, no plane rides!
Just kidding ... as said before, I am pretty sure this is already
being done ... just without the "structured" approach ... it
certainly speeds up the process! lol. | |
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Posted: 1/9/2008 3:42:24 AM |
I would do the same thing (only i'd meet men) but i dont find many people attractive.
I guess I could get a lot of free dinners...
I agree, T, so would I if I had anything to work with - I haven't seen 60 people I'd want to date yet, and I've been out there over 20 years...maybe it's my area. I'm lucky if I see 5 guys a year I have any interest in...
Perhaps when I move to a warmer and more metropolitan area, that can be one of the things I look forward to... | |
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Posted: 1/9/2008 7:24:14 AM | If you blanket e-mail 60 women at once, what is going to happen? You got one shot. That's it. Done. Maybe you can send them a second e-mail, but you just wasted your shot. Now let's say that you have a success rate of 10 percent. That means that 6 women are going to reply. But since it was a blanket e-mail, you don't know squat about them, so you rush over and read what they may be all about and now you send a second e-mail to the six. Five of them realize you were doing a blanket e-mail and one keeps the conversation going. You set up a date. You meet. The date goes good. You even kiss. You even agree to meet again, but when you contact her, she doesn't respond, or she does, but after the second date, you both realize that well, there's no chemistry.
So out of the 60 women you got one.
Now using the SLOW approach, you start to read the profiles of these women, start with six. You pick something you have in common, find intriguing, seems funny, you think it's weird and you e-mail them with a question about that subject. You send only six emails to six women. Four of them reply back and tell you something about that thing. You respond and share something that happened to you, thus humanizing yourself, still you do not ask for a date, nor tell her what a great guy you are. Two of the women eventually stop conversing, but two are going quite well. Then you create the lead to asking her out. That should be something worth getting together about. You can say, have you been to the such and such coffee shop, they make this thing that is like this and they add that. She responds. Then you say maybe we should get together. Let's say one of the women procrastinates and doesn't answer, but one does. You go out and meet. Since you already have something in common, the date goes well. But let's equalize it and say that it went just like the one in the blanket e-mail approach. Now, where are you. One out of six. Yet now you have 54 more women to contact. Not zero. Better yet, the more you do this the better your technique gets. To the point that maybe even 80 percent of the women you email respond, and then about 60 percent go out with you on a date, and 50 percent actually becomes someone fun to be with. Until you find one that is simply awesome.
So which system do you think may work better? | |
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Posted: 1/9/2008 9:12:17 AM | I think you should expand it to a 4 mile radius...
Unless thats too far to ride your bike...
What I don't understand is...
In a city of almost half a million people, how could you have found 60 women that interest you that live in your 3 mile radius on the same paid site...
If one did some math and added up all the dating sites and used your 60 that interest you, (that doesn't include the ones that don't of course), it would seem everyone in your radius would be on a site...
I am waiting for your next thread...
60 e-mails and not 1 reply... | |
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Posted: 1/9/2008 9:29:21 AM | Theoretically, a sound idea.
If you live in a MAJOR metropolitan area, say, over 3 million people.
Any less than that......
You did say, did you not, that they have to be a) attractive..... and b0 willing to actually meet you.......
This is the internet, remember......
Which means that those two requirements of yourn will eliminate about 99% of them from the get go....... | |
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Posted: 1/9/2008 10:02:46 AM | """every available woman in a three mile radius""...hmmmmm, interesting notion,, until you get to the part of picking a few to date. hope you are going to be honest with these women that u r not exclusive with any of them.
this could backfire, specially if within that 3 mile radius these women have any possibility to be in the same clubs or organizations together, say perhaps the PTA at the local school,,,,, they might not appreciate being divied up like that across the month of YOUR DATING SCHEDULE. | |
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Posted: 1/9/2008 7:37:02 PM |
You sound very cold, calculating & boring. If you do this,
My feelings exactly. Personally, if I knew you were not selective about who you were meeting, that you only chose to meet me because I lived in your locale, I'd feel you were the biggest jerk ever.
Don't waste my time.
MS | |
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