| lying about age to get searched is still lying
Posted: 1/8/2008 5:06:47 PM | On the 24th of this month I turn 50.
The same day, my profile will update to the same age.
One friend recommended I copy and paste my profile into a word document, delete the profile, open a new one and paste the information in as though nothing had changed.
The only difference would be that I could lop five years off my age, which I could very well get away with.
But to what end? It is lying.
Period.
Let me turn 50 and let the cards fall where they may.
^^BG^^ | |
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| lying about age to get searched is still lying
Posted: 1/8/2008 5:10:18 PM | actually, I don't fudge about anything...an on the age the thing...my specific point was about using a fictitious age to get found on searches....not just age lying...has nothing to do with "getting up to the times"
Truthfulness is a major factor in being trustworthy.....I will share with you what I have told my three daughters all their lives:
Trust is granted to you for free, yet it is perhaps the most valuable thing you will ever own.
But trust is so very easy to lose and the hardest thing there is to ever get back. | |
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| lying about age to get searched is still lying
Posted: 1/8/2008 5:10:23 PM |
sorry, lying is lying and that is lying, even if you admit it in person, or even in your profile...if you will manipulate the truth to get noticed, what else will you manipulate later?
I feel the same way.. I start as I am going to continue. I don't bother with lies, I will only confuse them later. So why bother. I do get a bit peeved when I want to email a fellow forum user and the cut off is 45
But I would rather be the age I am and celebrate it | |
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| lying about age to get searched is still lying
Posted: 1/8/2008 6:26:23 PM | I don't lie in my profile in that I'm here for the forums. Does that mean I never click on a profile or do a search? Not to me it doesn't. I just don't think some things need to be spelled out and a person would be hard pressed to deem my not doing so a lie of ommission.
And I just posted in another thread that under certain circumstances I may even - in person - lie to save face. I think that anyone who claims to never lie is probably lying to themselves even if they aren't doing it deliberately and conciously to me.
I work hard at being as upright and honest as I can. That's all anyone can do IMO. Some lies bug me more than others and these are the type that take more effort to concoct and remember than simply saying nothing at all.
One test of an honest person in my books is someone who says "yes" to the question "do you or have you ever lied?" My tells are easy to spot and if the person really wants to know I'll even tell him or her what these are.
I'm human...sue me! | |
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| lying about age to get searched is still lying
Posted: 1/8/2008 7:35:40 PM | I do think this is an issue where men must take a little larger share of the blame. I know lots of men and women in their 30's and 40's. I find that women are much more comfortable with "midlife" than men are. Women are also more reasonable in their searches, generally preferring a 5-10 year radius of their own age (up AND down) because they are searching for compatibility.
Men, on the other hand, often think they are personally young at whatever age they are (or they want to think that) but noone else their age is as young. So, in essence their own age is "old" for anyone else, and often too old for them. They are searching less logical -15/+2 ranges (or possibly even stopping about 5 years shy of their own age) so because they are likely searching for something other than statistical compatibility, they skew the overlap so there is often very little. So everyone lies to open that overlap back up.
Let's take two 45 year olds. She is searching, say 39-51 (pretty reasonable). He is searching 30-44 ('cause for some really strange reason some men think they MUST be the older one!) She's likely to catch most of the men who would truly be compatible, yet possibly half of them, including this one, her own age, rule her out. On the other hand, the gals at the low end of his age range, say maybe a 34 year old, are searching 28-40, so he is ruled out. They would both like to be included in the searches of the people they are personally searching for so both lower their ages to accomplish it.
In the end, it makes no sense. For the woman, all she's gonna gain in her searches are a bunch of "older" men with self-esteem issues; and for the man, all he's gonna gain is a bunch of women who are gonna think of him as "old" and will have complete control over him 'cause they know he specifically selected them because they were young. Doesn't make for great relationships. Why don't we all just forget about those people with ridiculous age qualifications? I always send a nice "no thanks" to any man older than me if he has an age range that would eliminate me if our ages were reversed. If they think your personal age says something negative about you without even knowing you, especially if they themselves are within 5 years of it, let 'em go! They've got issues that you won't want to deal with anyway. | |
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| lying about age to get searched is still lying
Posted: 1/8/2008 7:38:46 PM | Ehh.. I can't be bothered. If I'm cut out of someone's search because of my age being 39-41 or 42, so be it. I'm expecting to have another birthday this year and heck, I might even gain a pound or change my hair. I might turn out to be human and have some flaws, too!
Sabine, did you think about possibility of saving all your major information to your computer, than re-do your profile?
1. some people get "questionmarks?"....on internet many people are concerned to see what is real and what is not - and leaving grounds for "doubts" may not be good for you!...in a way, most people don't have too much time, and quickly they want to filter out "bad ones"......so....any doubts may just quickly drop!
2. the other issue maybe some huys searching 35-40 age range....and 42 is just out! of course the advantage is you are included in the 40+ search. so that effect is hard to tell.
I am not saying that for sure it worths for you to redo your profile, but might worth to think about it!
"I'm 39 not 42. I just noticed I messed up on my birth date (blonde!) and can't change it." | |
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| lying about age to get searched is still lying
Posted: 1/8/2008 7:41:59 PM |
Men, on the other hand, often think they are personally young at whatever age they are (or they want to think that) but noone else their age is as young.
That's because we've been telling them for eons that men are distinguished when they get older and women just get old. We're partly to blame for that little ol' ego boost and might not be a bad idea to banish the term.
I get a kick out of men emailing me and I see I'm older than their search criteria. I email back to say "Thanks for the note but I am past your chosen expiration date."
That is often when they confess their true age and try to justify why I actually SHOULD speak to them. | |
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| lying about age to get searched is still lying
Posted: 1/8/2008 7:47:14 PM | Yes, it's still lying. I have no use for someone who wants to try to fit themselves into my search perameters, when in fact they don't.
When I was 18, I met a man told me he was 24. I believed him, dated for awhile and made an absolute fool of myself on his birthday, when my friends and I had a surprise 25th. All his friends thought it was pretty funny that I did not know that he was really 29! He told me that he didn't think I would go out with him if I knew his real age. Guess what! He was right! And at 18, I don't care that we had already been dating, I was not going to continue to date an OLD LIAR. | |
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| lying about age to get searched is still lying
Posted: 1/8/2008 7:48:32 PM | | There is this lady(I am using the term loosley) who is in her late 50's and posts as her early 40's to get men in there 20's and 30's so it can "raise her search radius" and keep her out of the older men catagory. She looks like her late 30's but it is still lying and she should still not post her profile. She was a grammar and spelling Nazi too. She has the nerve to lie and still be that picky. | |
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| lying about age to get searched is still lying
Posted: 1/8/2008 7:52:10 PM | I met a woman at a speed dating event once. The age bracket was 25-39. The 39-52 session ended just before ours began. My first impression was that she looked a bit "worn" for 39. But heh? I've met 20 somethings who looked 40, so I didn't give it much thought. She didn't seem all that energetic. In fact, she seemed a bit quiet for my tastes. I passed, but because she selected me, I got to see her profile.
In her profile she said that's she is actually 46.
I don't know who she thought she was fooling. She was fairly attractive as the 40-something that she was and probably would have done well in the 39+ session. But, because of the limited time, looks matter when speed dating. I doubt she had much success that night.
I've done a few more speed dating events since that time. I find that I am most successful when I am close to the middle of the range. If I am on the older end, I find more that are interesting but don't get much interest. If I'm on the younger end, I get more interest but I'm less interested. It makes no sense to lie to get into a session that won't work for you. | |
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| lying about age to get searched is still lying
Posted: 1/8/2008 8:07:50 PM | | Now this is some funny shit, the women that said they can lower their age and get away with it! I wonder what mirror they have been looking thru? lmao I don't lie about my age I don't need to. I have total confidence in myself!!! :)) | |
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| lying about age to get searched is still lying
Posted: 1/8/2008 8:17:04 PM | Ok, I don’t lie about my age and all my pics are within 6 months or so, but at least in THEORY on a database search I understand why people may say they are as much as 5 years younger. But past that they are absolutely lying because they really want you to believe they are r 10 years younger than they are. I’m sorry, but I have met very few people who were 10-15 years older than I ASSUMED they were…..
If you work with computers all day and do any kind of criteria search for work, I can see how you could talk yourself into thinking it’s just a search reference ONLINE and I have seen people write in their profile: “yes I’m older than the search criteria I listed….”
I can see SOME justification in it, because how sad to miss out on someone great because they are 2 years or so outside your listed criteria….but still, it bothers me to some extent that people do that even when they list it in their profile, but I definitely abhor it if they lie to you in person and honestly are attempting to deceive you……
At least if your going to fudge the number for the sake of a criteria search, the first sentence of your profile should say “For the record I’m actually XX years old…” | |
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| lying about age to get searched is still lying
Posted: 1/9/2008 6:32:37 PM | email back to say "Thanks for the note but I am past your chosen expiration date."
HC-you are too funny
I worked hard to get to this age and I should be proud of it And if you don't like my age, too bad, go to next profile, please.
Why start off with a lie? And after starting with a lie, what's next? Another lie to cover-up the next inconvenient fact? | |
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| lying about age to get searched is still lying
Posted: 1/9/2008 7:06:22 PM | Hey everyone, im 23 years old and i have been using this site on and off for 2 years, i always read the forums on this site daily and have learnt and gathered so much information from all u p.o.f er's,
i have never felt compelled to respond to any forums untill this one...... i had been talking to this guy for a few weeks and the phone contact started, turns out he had actually msgd me 18 months ago on another site but my reply is about this,
he lied to me about his age, he told me he was 30 when in actual fact he was 37, and you see to me being 23 and him being 37 is something i never thought i would come across in my life time.... when he told me the truth i was gob smacked i actually fell on the kitchen floor, but by this time it was too late i had already developed feelings for this guy... and in all honesty if he never of said anything i would never of known.....when i questioned him about his lie is response was that he prefers the younger chicks which is fine and that if he had of told me he was 37 i would never have met him.... and i gotta say he was right... i would never of had the opportunity of meeting this awesome guy.
we dated for 2 months after that and through my fault we are no longer.....(and i miss him :( ) but then i see the flip side ...... what if it happened and the guy was in his 50's i would be disgusted.... my question to you all is....... is age really a problem? can we think of some way to actually stop people from lieing about their age? | |
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| lying about age to get searched is still lying
Posted: 1/9/2008 7:14:54 PM | Same as putting pics up from 2 yrs ago.......unless you look better and had reconstructive surgery like I did or lost weight like some on the nutrisystem.
ORRRRRR.......a few extra pounds.......... a spare tire is more than 5 lbs.
Now if you're naturally large ...ok..........but a 150 lb person w/ 25# of beer gut is another thing. Shallow.......NO...........rather have truth 1st....... | |
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| lying about age to get searched is still lying
Posted: 1/9/2008 7:35:43 PM | LOL loveoregon all teenage girls want to be older....lots of us that when we were in our early teens... I think!!! checking my memory bank.....Oh by the way she can have two years from this old lady.... she's now 16 | |
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| lying about age to get searched is still lying
Posted: 1/9/2008 8:21:05 PM |
What if you have ZERO interest in women your own age, and want to meet only much younger women?
Then post your correct age and email the younger woman who dont have set age limits. | |
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| lying about age to get searched is still lying
Posted: 1/9/2008 8:39:55 PM |
I'm 58 years old and that number isnt go to do anything but go up. I dont qualify for the vast majority of women on this site...but so be it...I am what I am. But.....
Kudos to you OP. My biggest pet peeve are age-liars. I have had sooooooooo many here that I finally restricted my profile. I still get the occasional ones, but not nearly as many as when I was first here. One lie leads to another to another, so on and so on. I have no interest in a life based upon such a silly misrepresentation. So that narrows the playing field? Do you really wish to begin something with someone that simply is an out and out lie? I don't. But, I see it all that time.  | |
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