| Can you really know, do y' think?
Posted: 1/8/2008 1:31:09 PM | | On the internet you can be whoever and whatever you want to be. You can make yourself appear how you wish to appear. Even talking on the phone is not as good as being with them in the flesh and engaging with them has they experience all the facets of life--the good, the bad, and the ugly. Yet, even with this you can know some people for a long time and not really know them, only to the degree that they wish to be known. | |
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| Can you really know, do y' think?
Posted: 1/8/2008 3:16:15 PM | | I've never had genuine feelings for someone I've never met. Attraction yes...but I don't count that as a feeling (emotion), it's a sensation as far as I'm concerned. If I say I have feelings for someone you can bet good money on the fact I've met them. | |
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| Can you really know, do y' think?
Posted: 1/8/2008 10:54:53 PM | | I certainly hope so...cuz if not, I've spent the better part of the past two years being a really big fool. | |
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| Can you really know, do y' think?
Posted: 1/8/2008 11:04:16 PM |
Yet, even with this you can know some people for a long time and not really know them, only to the degree that they wish to be known.
That's true krimi, also very true of knowing yourself. Do we ever really know another person?
Rose... genuinely hope that 'investment' pays dividends for you... you so deserve good things flowing to you! | |
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| Can you really know, do y' think?
Posted: 1/9/2008 12:10:10 AM | Haha ... and I mean that in a nice way.
Not a chance. Do not get emotionally involved in emails, online chats and phone calls. You can feel a person, intuitively figure out all kinds of stuff, but you'll never know until you meet them.
This is just a continued interviewing process. Sounds like you should meet this guy, FAST!!! I would guess, given your apparent nature, that you should burn through a whole slew people, by meeting them, to lose the illusion of love without first sight!
If you're going to jive with someone, your going to jive, irrespective of the number of quality emails, online chat sessions or phone calls. | |
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| Can you really know, do y' think?
Posted: 1/9/2008 2:31:27 AM | Thanks guys for your imput. Quite a few mixed messages there and nothing not already considered. Someone said we fill in the gaps with fantasy, that is very true especially if the chat becomes erotic.
Of course, I was not suggesting replacing real dates with only on-line/telephone relationship and therefore we will be meeting shortly. Just an exercise in finding out peoples levels of cynisism, self-belief and trust really.
thanks,
sukix | |
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| Can you really know, do y' think?
Posted: 1/9/2008 3:40:56 AM | | So far, what you have is a jigsaw puzzle with critical pieces missing. Meeting and spending time in person are the critical pieces you need to see the big picture and if the pieces fit. | |
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| Can you really know, do y' think?
Posted: 1/15/2008 4:01:22 AM | OK, so no, we can't! I can answer my own question with certainty.
Found out- before the first date.
Still, lesson learnt!
sukix
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| Can you really know, do y' think?
Posted: 1/15/2008 5:20:54 AM | My point exactly, sukib. In real life you might have been “blinded” by a strong, physical attraction. Now, you’ve probably found out by communication or lack thereof. – Even before the first date. I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you, but you had the chance to know somebody on a deeply intimate level and, as I’m sure you know, strong passion can evolve from that. Luckily, this medium also offers the opportunity to weed out the bad seeds before it gets too serious.
I seem to be advocating this view in post after post, maybe because this whole Internet thing has been such a good experience for me. Guess it all comes down to one question for me:
What’s the best and most reliable basis for a good relationship? – Communication, - or immediate physical attraction? I know: It should be a little of both, but still, If you had to decide which you would choose as the more reliable and realistic basis for love……. | |
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| Can you really know, do y' think?
Posted: 1/15/2008 5:35:17 AM | HA! I love this topic. It's like you got the map to the minefield but didn't know it was in the middle of quiscksand. 
I hope more people pay attention to this and at least one person takes the time to meet someone for lunch or something. Chat, post, IM call everyday for a week... Where does it get you? Absolutely nowhere.
This place is just for breaking the ice to see if someone has something/anything that you could possibly be interested in. Chat, IM or talk on the phone too long and the ship sails. 
Thank you so much for posting this topic. 
Do you think you're going to get to know someone here? How often do you actually read something unpopular or politically incorrect? That's me take it or leave it. But who else have you seen speak the truth as they see it, popular or not? | |
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| Can you really know, do y' think?
Posted: 1/15/2008 5:48:55 AM | I don’t think we EVER really know anyone.
Some can “hide” what is really on their mind - and they can hide it for years and years.
Just look at how many people get dumped - totally unexpected after being with someone for years.
Look at all the hidden affairs. Some are discovered and 10 times more of them are never known.
Think about all the parents that are shocked to learn what their teens are REALLY up to.
We don’t ever really know anyone. We only know what they say or how they act - while in our presence. | |
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| Can you really know, do y' think?
Posted: 1/15/2008 5:55:02 AM | I think people really need to see faces IRL in order to build up trust. And even that can go wrong if you have someone who is adept at deception.
But yeah. I think in this day and age, good old fashioned "reading faces" is the only way that I can get to really know someone.
However, as the post above me has said. That may still not be enough as someone who you've known for years could just suddenly do something to completely shock you.
So it's a tough call. No doubt about that! | |
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| Can you really know, do y' think?
Posted: 1/15/2008 6:31:17 AM | I wonder if it is possible to really know some one by just emailing, txt, messaging and phoning?
NO, YOU CAN'T!!! | |
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| Can you really know, do y' think?
Posted: 1/15/2008 6:33:33 AM | | nope u actually gotta meet them in person voice and words doesnt identfy who a person is. many females i meet turneed into little brats so ya know lol | |
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| Can you really know, do y' think?
Posted: 1/15/2008 6:42:13 AM | i think you can get to know someone extremely well over the internet.. as far as what they say their likes/dislikes/interests are.... even as to how they react to things and think, when you see them posting on the boards over time....
but as to a real romantic connection - i think it can be there in part because of shared interests/approaches to life.. but to find out if there's a real physical attraction, then imo that has to be done by meeting face to face.. | |
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